The Separation

I am Marisa. This is essentially my diary. Always open to advice, comments and other shenanigans.

[hopelesslyhealing]

The hardest thing about depression is that it is addictive. It begins to feel uncomfortable not to be depressed. You feel guilty for feeling happy.

Pete Wentz (via i-m-i-r-r-e-l-e-v-a-n-t)

--> Been struggling with this a lot lately

[the-separation]

Hello There Little Bloggy. Sorry I forgot about you.

     It seems the last time I wrote something personal, I had just started my Tinder escapade. Oh boy. Which means you know nothing about the vagina puncher (Matt), the sexy scruffy guy with the snake (Teej), or the most amazing one-night stand sex I've ever had (Nick).

      Tinder was a whirlwind of band-aid sex. Aside from the vagina puncher who was a good old fashioned bar-find. That experience taught me that Tinder wasn't so bad--at least you know a bit about the person before you bump uglies. Have a one-night stand with the vagina puncher was like losing a game of Russian Roulette--but much less serious.

     And then the weirdest thing happened on Tinder. This guy asked me on a real date. Not meet at the bar and slutty dance, but a let's get sushi at lunch and walk on the beach date. My second real date ever (yes I'm 22 I don't want to talk about it). But because I still felt I didn't want to get into anything serious, I was a shit show. The first thing I said to him was "I'm so glad to meet you in person! I'm glad we're here I'm fucking starving!!" Followed by a discussion about how vampire sci-fi romance could be solved if we'd just acknowledge the existence of period blood. Followed by me eating a chocolate covered cricket and telling him he'd never get a second date unless he did the same. After an hour he totally fucking ate it. In retrospect I have no idea why he wanted a second date with me.

   But he did, and more kept happening. Even after I tried to scare him away by telling him that I was still fucking scruffy snake owning guy. I gave him the go ahead to date other girls since I wasn't looking for anything serious. He basically said, thanks but no thanks for now I just want to stick with dating you. And those were the magic words after the fucking Ted shit show.

We've been in relationship-land for four months now. And I'm crazy happy.

[noorshirazie]

I could feel myself coming back to life when the voice in my head sounded less like you and more like me.

Noor Shirazie (via aestheticintrovert)

[connotativewords]

Stop setting yourself on fire for someone who stays to watch you burn.

Haiku on Perspective  (via moonsads)

[brighteryellow-deactivated20150]

I love you, but I’m mad at you is one of the most freeing, important things you can say in a stable relationship. Does that make sense? To know that you have the ability and the right to be mad at someone and know that it doesn’t mean things are over, that it doesn’t mean things are irreparable. That it just means I’m mad, but God, I love you. I love you. Now leave me alone.

(via devendrabanhart)

[twerkingatsundayschool-deactiva]

Until we have seen someone’s darkness, we don’t really know who they are. Until we have forgiven someone’s darkness, we don’t really know what love is.

Marianne Williamson (via babydontpullout)

[mingdliu-deactivated20210422]

I won’t beg someone to love me. I learned long ago that there is no use in hopeless pleas of trying to make someone stay. I am too good to chase someone who does not know my worth and I am too wild to keep waiting for someone who doesn’t acknowledge my value. I want to be loved unconditionally. I shouldn’t have to fight so hard for it. I do not have the time to prove to someone that I am worth it. I shouldn’t have to prove any of that; I am worth more than that.

Ming D. Liu, A Story A Day #138 

(via avvfvl)

[the-separation]

Y'all this is serious.

I made a fucking Tinder profile. Technology allows me to sink further and further as I wade through the attention seeking portion of my breakup mourning.

[larmoyante]

The only thing I know is this: I am full of wounds and still standing on my feet.

 Nikos Kazantzakis | thatkindofwoman (via lionessyawn)

[queer-punk-deactivated20200718]

all i know is that i’m constantly tired and i want to sleep next to you

[aehs]

I wrote a poem about it, and then threw it away, because that’s the last thing I need right now: More words dedicated to people who will never dedicate a single thing to me.

(via swimmingpoolforants)

[untrustyou]

Robert Montgomery

[pastel-chameleon]

[anditslove]

You don’t need a single person to validate your anything. You are important, you matter, your thoughts matter, your feelings matter. The world is an exponentially better place because of you. Please don’t forget that. 

[the-separation]

Thank you for this.

[ajqil]

[picsandquotes]

I will never regret you, or say that I wish I’d never met you, because once upon a time, you were exactly what I needed

Unknown (via perfect)

[justrisfish]

How to Heal A Broken Heart

I needed this. So much.