The darkest nights produce the brightest stars

||✶|| Information about us in our pinned post, please read our DNI if you're new, thank you! ↓ ||✶|| Profile picture by @Luckysys ||✶|| This is not a non-traumagenic "system" safe space, nor is it for their supporters. Please respect our boundaries. ||✶||

[the-starset-system]

Hi y'all,

Long time no see, huh? It's only been a few months but man is this a nostalgia trip. Regardless, hello from some older Starsets!

We're not staying, but seriously, thank you for everyone who supported us and showed so much kindness along the way, I think about you a lot.

I feel guilty for leaving all of a sudden, really. This blog kept us going through some of the worst times, but I really just can't be here anymore. It feels dirty, tainted.

I'll be saying my peice soon, and I'm sorry to leave you all behind, but so many bad things lay here, things that you guys may not even know about. It's hard really even just writing this, seeing everything left as it was. It's like being dropped into cold water, like no time has passed. My hands shake and I can't get tears to leave me alone. I don't say this to guilt-trip either, and honestly the fact I feel the need to clarify that alone is really sad.

I say this because I need to though, a lot of the stuff here was really traumatic. I feel like I've healed enough over the few months to share our story, and it's one I'm desperate to finally put a close to. I don't think I'll ever have peace around this again if I don't.

It's not hard to see I am still suffering though, given just the physical reactions I'm having alone. With that in mind, I'll be working hard to write, but I can't promise it will be tomorrow or the next day that I share my story. It's a lot to work through and there is a lot of emotions tangled. I hope you understand, you've hung around this long (which I appreciate), so I'm sure a little while longer will be okay.

I really do miss a lot of you though, and if I wasn't so worried for our safety I would give out our contact info in DMs. Some of us have already crossed paths elsewhere though, we're not gone. We've just moved on. We're even working hard to pursue our dreams of branching out into other kinds of content creation, so you could stumble on us anywhere (though we will always stay anonymous, funny thing is that this blog actually started as a sort of testing the waters idea, and while it's been rough, we know online entertainment is a passion that can't be smothered).

While I would continue to let all my feelings pour out here though, I am busy. If anyone wants to stalk around our inbox, we'll try our best to answer though. We'll likely make more posts here as well, just updating how we are and what's changed, but those are different posts for another day.

With all being said though, we'll see you guys later. We sincerely, to the bottom of our heart, wish you all a good year though, thank you for having made ours tolerable.

- The Starset System

[the-starset-system]

So many words, so many words, so many words.

It honestly blows my mind that people are happy to defend someone who denies others trauma and then turns around and says (which I do believe) well I have trauma. It is gut wrenching.

I am impulsive, mean when I need to be (certainly not proud of it), but I'm not a liar. Anything can be traumatizing when you can't cope, and having your safe space destroyed because someone is spreading thousands of rumors around the internet, doxxing you, and sending you various amounts of threats, well, I'd consider that pretty damn traumatizing.

And the funniest part, hornet, is you do it AGAIN. You had no fucking right to do this shit again, no matter how mad you may be. You call me fake, you stretch the truth thin, and you continue to get rid of every safe space I have. All for what, hornet?

All I want is to put my final words out, but you can't handle that as always. It was always like that, huh?

Hornet, I could do so much fucked up shit, and that's not a threat, it's a simple truth, but I would never silence your side. I know everything was fucking terrible, that you want to wash this away, but understand that you got a closure we never got. I never said my words, I stayed quiet as you lied, moved on to other places, cried in fucking therapist offices, and when I accidentally logged into the wrong account and ended up here, it made me painfully aware how much all the words I need to say are itching under the skin. And congratulations! Because you do what you do best and make me feel like giving up. If I have to wake up with dread and go to sleep with dread then this isn't worth it, but I'm not stopping.

One last thing before I post this:

Get some decent morals, hornet. Can you not see how shitty the things you say and do are? Can you not see how you hurt us repeatedly, call us liars, steal our safety?

I do not wish harm upon you, not a single bad day, not even guilt, but I really can't say the same for you.

[the-starset-system]

the bald dude is wonderful, thank you /lh - kaeya

Yes! Bald supremacy lmao

[the-starset-system]

yeah, of course!! we'll leave the inbox open for you guys! <3 - kaeya

Thank you! I would send you a cat picture to express my feelings because I apparently have an inability to put them into words, but a bald dude will do ig /hj

[the-starset-system]

we'll miss you guys!! we talked on and off but we appreciate you all a lot. feel free to come around on anon or something later on if you want, you'll always be welcome here! take care of yourselves, alright? - kaeya and the arcadian system <3

Thank you, that really means a lot, and we probably will take you up on that too. You guys are really nice and our conversations have always been lovely, so thank you, really! <3

[sleepystars-blurriedskies]

Im Sorry I couldn’t prove that they doxxed me. I’m sorry I couldn’t show you they doxxed me. I’m sorry I refused to doxx myself to a complete stranger just to prove that they doxxed me. I’m sorry I couldn’t show you they gaslit me. I’m sorry I couldn’t prove to you that they manipulated me. I’m sorry I could not properly explain to you why I blew up at them after they ignored my friends triggers. I’m sorry I refused to be civil with them when they would actively ignore my boundaries. I’m sorry that I could not show you the ways that they hurt me in a way you would agree with.

Actually

Fuck this

I do not owe you an apology. I definitely do not owe them an apology. And the stranger who tried to get me to doxx myself just so they could villainize me when I didn’t can go fucking choke. 

You deserve nothing after ignoring me when I asked for help. I pity you and your shallowness to truly believe that they hadn’t done that. 

But you know what? I’m washing my hands of you. I am washing my hands of them. I am washing my hands of that damned server. And I am washing my hands of him. 

If they are celebrated for treating me the same as a predator simply because I finally spoke out and said something about their treatment of me than I am going to willingly wash my hands of this situation.

I refuse to care about how I wake up in a dead sweat sometimes knowing that you know where I live

I refuse to care about the panic attacks I have knowing that you would dox me simply for saying that I don’t want you near me

I refuse to think, to care, to spend one more fucking moment thinking about how you hurt me. About how you support them after they hurt me. 

And yeah, since you let your beloved partner threaten violence to us simply because we called out your bullshit I am still fucking scared because of that. Because we both know what you know. And we both know if you felt so inclined you could give them the information to do it to us. 

So yeah. I’m not sorry, and Canvas for all it’s worth I hope you never feel this way. Because while you may not have an ounce of sympathy or compassion I would not wish this pain on anyone. 

[sleepystars-blurriedskies]

I said “choose” not chose. You actively misinterpret my words and support the people who manipulate and doxxed me. And for that you cannot be forgiven. 

It is the age of burning bridges and the fire of this one has been burning a long long time. 

 My hands are washed of you, the splits nightmares and panic attacks you and the people you defend have caused are no longer on my conscious but rather on yours. 

I hope you live with the guilt and I hope you never feel the pain I feel

[sleepystars-blurriedskies]

All I wanted was to be safe. And for a while I was. And in the end I was just the sheep walking into a field of costumed wolves

[sleepystars-blurriedskies]

I could not count on my 10 fingers what had made me start noticing I wasn’t safe. At first I refused to believe that they weren’t safe because I was new and the worst thing about being new is that you are so easily convinced that the people who hurt you actually care for you In the end it had been my choice to give them the information. Information that was pinned to the metaphorical cork board. So that when an adult I neither knew nor trusted walked in immediately they could see it. And they just left it sitting up there, rotting proudly for anyone with access to that room of sorts to see. And another stranger joined the mix. And we voiced that we didn’t want them. We didn’t know them. But that stopped nothing I think then it truly hit me just how much of a hypocrite they had been. “Oh we’re all so overwhelmed this person can help us” but all that person had wanted to do was to smash the grounding rock into peices. Disassemble everything that we had know. Break down walls, burn down trust. And completely ruin what little we had to ourselves. In the end the “big argument” was just us being fed up with them. And we said stuff. And On one hand I regret how it was said, but on the other I would not take it back for the world. We got it off our chest. What they had done was out in to air The funniest part is, people sided with them. They would not believe the victims. They would not believe the people who came out about what they did. All because of what? The fact we refused to dox ourselves to yet another stranger? Because we refused to let them walk all over our friends? In the end it is almost poetic. The victims get their piece just to be shunned by the masses because the perpetrator is well liked or well known. And yeah, that’s just how society and social media is today. I wish my pain on no one, but I wish a guilty conscious to those who have hurt us. May it plague you until I might be able to go a night without fear of you

[critical-thinking-system]

if you think you‘re a “natural system” who was “born plural”… I need you to understand that… that’s how DID/OSDD/UDD work a large majority of the time.

you became a system due to trauma that occurred in early childhood. that, combined with the memory issues associated with systemhood, means that you are unlikely to remember a time before being a system.

feeling like you were born a system doesn’t make it true. I used to feel that way too. I get it. it just turns out that I have a disorder designed to protect me from traumatic memories. it just turns out I have a disorder that onsets at a young age.

once you discover that you’re a system, and you start to think about your past through the lens of systemhood, you’re going to have lots of complex feelings. those feelings are valid. but they’re not always in line with reality.

[disco-ciating]

may be a controversial take but i don’t think DID needs any more mainstream attention. i don’t think the average person needs to know everything about this disorder. we don’t need more media representation

psychiatric and medical professionals need to learn about us but the average person doesn’t. or at least not through hollywood and probably not through tiktok either

i don’t want any more movies or tv shows written about us because i can’t see anyone (except maybe another system) doing it in a way that wouldn’t be harmful to us

[grounding-sys-deactivated202203]

*innerwold trauma unlocked*

[hydrangeathief]

meeting a new alter like "where the fuck did you form from??"

[the-starset-system]

Honestly? Going to the library as a system is so chaotic. I really just had a semi-breakdown in the recipe section, dissociated in the queer stuff section for a little too long, and left with 2 books on how to cure anxiety, a children's book, some gay book, and 2 graphic novels. All while subtly trying to take as many bookmarks as possible

[the-starset-system]

Impasta, who could it be?? -Cheese Anon

I bet it's the ramen, the microwaved one too

[the-starset-system]

Noodles you /pasta

Pasta.... THERES AN IMPASTA? OH NO GOTTA CALL A MEETING

[the-starset-system]

Oooo, what kind of cheese?

Idk the cheap kind lmao

[the-starset-system]

What's your opinion on cheese?

At this point it's probably the only food keeping me alive

[the-starset-system]

Just a reminder, if you send us hateful asks we will usually just block. Regardless of your feelings on us, spending half an hour just filling up our inbox isn't healthy for you.

[the-starset-system]

*Feeds you spaghetti*