Rocking, Loving and Growing @the-truth-is-buried - Tumblr Blog

I fucking hate you

Filled with anger and tortured pain I want to attack. I want to inflict.

*Trigger warning mention of miscarriage*

Right now I am sitting in the same room I sat in when I found out my baby’s heart wasn’t beating. Today is the day I have my last ultrasound to make sure that my uterus is empty now after the miscarriage. They have switched me around to different rooms for the other ultrasounds, but I haven’t been in this once since that day. I wonder if they planned it that way. I wonder if any cosmic force planned it that way, or if the leaves of life just happened to land in this position. I want to cry. Every time I let the reality of my reality sink in I want to cry. I am going to try and be happy today though. I am going to try and look up from this ground that I am standing on and try not to see it as me looking up from a deep black hole, but instead I am going to try and see my life from the perspective of a life form granted the wonder of life, floating high on a ball of matter in a wide and unexplored void. A void that is filled with possibility and adventure. A void with a plan maybe, or a void with leaves blowing around in it and landing in different configurations, a void that is still.. well.. a void, but one I am going to try and call home.

#depression #miscarriage #pregnancy loss #sad #emotions #freewritting #free write #writing from the heart #writing from the void

Get incredibly fucked up and watch Yu Yu Hakusho ? Seems legit..

The snow wraps around me like fog

Each day brings me closer to the cold mist

I think about if I will be mist

Will I be light and airy?

Or dark and heavy?

They say there is bliss within the frozen mist

That warmth comes to you from places unfound in the world around you

They say that sweet dreams come before the sleep

This is how I wish to make my bed

In the snow forever

Finding my own warmth only in death

You can scream and scream but no one will hear you. You are alone here.

I will let this winter take me away.. ❄️

I think the worst part about wanting to kill yourself is realizing that it really doesn’t matter to anyone. It really won’t change anything. You’ll be a temporary bit of sadness in someone’s life. I think mostly strangers would feel sad for me. That is a really hard thing to realize before you die. It’s really not that meaningful at all.

Sometimes I think people will look back on my tumblr and be like ahh that makes sense

How do I get myself to fall asleep when I have only been awake for a couple hours? I am asking because I want to go back to sleep. I have melatonin, but I feel like that might not be good to take during the day.

two-thirtyy

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Look buddy, i’m just trying to make it to Friday.

taykoutmccleod

reblog if its friday and you made it

Ever have those moments where you sudden become outwardly aware of what you are doing? Me right now realizing I am depressed listening to Bratz Rock Angelz as a fully grown adult on the verge of tears. Never thought I’d be here. Not minding it too much though. Haha

Eat me up teeth

Vicious teeth eat you up

Anger rage mean I am these things

Watching Trumphobia hmm?

Feeling real inspired by these two tag-o-neers they started a spray paint revolution! Taki 183 covered the streets of New York, and started a wave of graffiti competition. Who would have the greatest tag? Who would have their tag displayed under the most bridges, in the most subways, or on the most walls? Taki 183 aka Demetrius (whose full name has still never been revealed) posed this question to creatives and risk takers of NYC. The other graffiti god I have been admiring has literally turned the word cornbread into a LEGEND. Darryl McCray aka Cornbread is widely considered to be the FIRST modern graffiti artist leaving the word Cornbread sprayed all over Philadelphia supposedly to impress a certain lady *insert UwU here*. Cornbread has since become a public speaker and youth advocate while still making art. These guys are badass and they helped to start a movement that I think is totally badass AND that has the potential to make big changes in the minds/hearts of the people who see these acts of freedom and creativity, and to those who take the leap and create these symbols of themselves. I think graffiti is freeing, I think its loud and it puts you on a platform to be heard and seen, I think it’s a beautiful act of self expression a stamp on the world from humans all over it. YO IF YOU READ THIS WHOLE POST LEAVE YOUR FIRST VIRTUAL TAG HERE AND TAG SOMEONE YOU LOVE DOWN BELOW 👇🏽

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Rocking, Loving and Growing