and even once lace manages to tell them she still falls into her fawning response. maybe she just needs more time to think about it. maybe she hasn't found the right pronouns yet. maybe if you tell her enough neopronouns one of them will stick. he and they and xir and fae didn't work but maybe we just need to keep looking. phantom tell her more neopronouns. phantom tell her.
and phantom has to just. take her by the shoulders and give her a good long look. and go. "lace you know you can still go by she/her if you want to. and you can still be a girl if you want to. those two things aren't mutually exclusive, but if you want the both of them you can have them??"
but it just…. it doesn't feel true. not when the both of them have been through so so so much. and so many of the same things. phantom has always been smarter and wiser than her. phantom always knew truths it took lace decades to come to terms with. is this not just another one of those?? phantom escaped the bonds of mother's obligations. and mother's dead, now, but lace still can't help but feel tied to her in some horrible way, and wouldn't this help?? phantom did it, and it helped them, why should it not help her? is she being stupid? ignorant? is she clinging to the past like a child, too scared of change to step outside the only box she's ever known??
and phantom has to stop her just to go. "you know i didn't always hate being a daughter, right??" and it's such a bizarre thing to think about that lace briefly stops spiraling.
but its true… granted, they never liked being a daughter. it never fit them. but there was a period of time where they didn't hate it. it wasn't right, but it was serviceable. it only became a cage when mother tried to enforce what that meant for themself. it became a cage when it was used to tug on their reigns, correct their behavior and police who they were as a person…
it was never the act of being a daughter that disturbed them. it wasn't the words of it leaving other people's mouths. it was what it meant to them. forgoing the title of daughter wasn't an act of defiance because that is what GMS wanted. it was an act of defiance because she would not let phantom be what they wanted. and breaking out of that box was how they helped shape themself into who they are.
and lace doesn't have to prove herself to anyone. she never has. but she had her own version of that already, didn't she?? she cleaved mother's ARM off, for god's sake… she's long since proved herself her own person. she doesn't have to change or break or mold some element of herself to prove that to anyone else. especially if it doesn't fit.
and i don't know if that's something lace would be able to fully internalize right away… but phantom's the one who said it. phantom doesn't lie. not to her. and phantom's not stupid…. so even if she doesn't know if she believes it, she knows she believes them… so… maybe it's fine. that she goes by she and her. that she considers herself a girl. maybe that's fine….
and then lace tells phantom she still wants to try out cool masc fashion like what they have bc its pretty awesome. and then phantom takes her to the hot topic
