The Adoption Blog

Here to help out anyone and everyone

[assortedchildren]

10 things not to say to an adoptee

So… where’s your real family?

But that’s not your actual sister, right?

So… your parents basically bought you?

Wow, your other parents must have really hated you to give you up.

You know that’s not your real brother, right?

You should be grateful that your parents rescued you.

You would probably be dead if your parents hadn’t adopted you.

So… no one in your family is your, like, real family, right?

So… you know you’re adopted, right?

Wow, your family basically stole you. I bet your real family would be so much better

Brought to you by: real things that have been said to me on an almost daily basis

[lgrim-99]

Adoptees-tell me one thing you wished people knew about the adoption process.

*feel free to repost* let’s get the conversation started

We can be as real as we want to ❤️

For me I would want people to know that I am still angry at my birthmom for abandoning me… even though I have an absolutely amazing mom who I love so so much

[confessionsofbirthmothers]

[blinibaby]

november is national adoption awareness month and

I hate being adopted so much

I feel like nobody ever talks about the fact that adoption and foster care is traumatizing for so many kids. For people on the outside, adoption seems like the end of a long and heartbreaking story, as if being adopted solves the problem. 

Yay! You’re finally in a loving family instead of a toxic one! How Happy and Uplifting! 

No.

And while I can fully see how incredible and amazing it can be for a couple to finally have a child when they thought they couldn’t,

it’s Not That Simple. In order to be in foster care, or adopted, it means that the kid’s birth parents could not, (or would not), take care of them. and it’s fucking heartbreaking. ((I know I’m not speaking for everyone- For many foster kids and adoptees, it is a relieving experience to finally be away from a toxic household.))

But still, adoptees gotta deal with so many different emotions regarding parents and attachment issues that are pretty unique, and very harmful. I know all our experiences are different, but I just wish there were more resources and more information regarding the emotional struggles that children have to go through during the whole process, because it’s really, 

really not easy to live with and have to process every day.

{non adoptees welcome to rb!}

[faesaridollie]

Do other transracial adoptees go through this?

I was adopted by white people. They always said I was white, though it’s pretty obvious I’m a giant mix of things (DNA says: European, India, and middle East). I just kind of went along with it until I was 18 or 19 because I didn’t really think twice about it, but with DNA testing, it really hit home I’m a mutt in regards to race.

Do other transracial adoptees go through this? White parents insisting they’re white, when they’re obviously not or just a giant mix of races?

[faesaridollie]

Shout out to the other kids and adults who are adopted

Because studies show we were 30-65% more likely to have mental health problems due to the trauma involved with being separated from our biological mother, even if the adoption takes place right after birth.

[wearyewe]

I’m just waiting for some white goyische women to start talking about how they want to “rescue’ the children and adopt them. The way they did in response to the Syrian refugee crisis. As if only the children are worth saving, but fuck those adults. As if that’s what adoption should be. As if taking children away from bio parents WHO WANT TO PARENT THEM is the goal of adoption. That’s not adoption; that’s kidnapping.

[anakoroghost]

As someone whose adopted whose desperate to find family members

In the grand scheme of things

I do not care if your great uncle murdered someone

I do not care if your 4x great aunt raped someone

I do not care if your cousin twice removed had a child out of wedlock

I do not care if your 3x great grandma was a plantation slave ower or somehow otherwise participated in any kind of slave trade

Your job as a geneologist is to report the truth of who is related to who. Bad people do bad things. Good people do bad things. I do not care if you’re “embarrassed” by what someone in your family tree. If they hold the key to unlocking a family member that I’m searching for, I am grateful.

[onlyblackgirl]

ADOPTION FUN FACT

If you’re adopted internationally into the United States, BY adoption LAWS you’re legally a citizen, but you still have to apply for documentation and if it’s not done by the age of 18 you have to pay over $500 and get a judge to reopen your adoption case. 

Even More Fun Fact: No one actually tells adoptive families, this so many find out after they’re 18 when their kid needs to get a passport, wants to apply for financial aid, get certain jobs, vote or some other shit that requires proof of citizenship and now it’s too late because they’re 18 or over. 

AND EVEN MORE FUN FACT! You can sometimes even be deported because you can be considered foreign-born, non-citizens! 

Oh and they won’t accept adoption papers or a birth certificate as proof. 

Adoption is FUN. 

[confessionsofbirthmothers]

Do it now! Seriously. Even if you think you are safe. Do it.

Many people are finding that even a birth certificate is not valid proof anymore. Texas birth certificates are notorious. So notorious that I have 3 friends who can’t use them to get passports! Don’t think everything is hunky dory. You must nail down your citizenship.

http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/filling-out-form-n-600-application-certificate-citizenship.html

Plus the cost for your citizenship certificate is almost doubling this fall.

[elf-kid2]

SIGNAL BOOST.

[thepioden]

Some Naturalization/Citizenship Certificate tips from me, the person who front-end processes these forms for half the country: the passport people are absolute garbage at sending your Naturalization Certificate back to you. Unfortunately, they also require it for you to get a passport. If you don’t get it back, whine at them about it and they will probably cover the cost of the replacement.  

Also! It takes up to 12 months to get a replacement certificate. If you urgently need your Natz Cert to visit your dying relative in another country, the word you want to use is ‘Expedite’. Not ‘ASAP’. Not ‘rush’. Expedite. Write a letter explaining why you need it expedited, if you do. Otherwise the USCIS data-entry grunts (me!) aren’t allowed to throw it into the expedite line and it gets relegated to the Backlog Crypts. 

Also! You need to get a new Naturalization Certificate if your name and/or gender legally changes, because a lot of places want your proof of citizenship for things like Social Security and student loans and Medicaid/EBT/welfare benefits and drivers’ licenses. 

ALSO ALSO both the N600 ($600) that you use to apply for your Naturalization Certificate in the first place and N565 ($345) that you use to apply for a replacement certificate are eligible for FEE WAIVERS. It’s called an I912. Learn it, love it, use it. 

Please for your sake make sure you are using the current version of the form. The most common reason I have to reject an N565 is because someone sent me something that expired in 2013. The current one is seven pages long. Please send the government all seven of them. 

[confessionsofbirthmothers]

2018 update ^^^  You need it done to get a passport or enhanced driver’s license.  Which is now required by most states and TSA at airports (with a couple of states still protesting and remaining holdouts) even when flying domestically.

What you can do to support adoptees http://adopteerightscampaign.org/  has a petition and templates for you to use in contacting your congressperson.  We need to get  Adoptee Citizenship Act of 2018 passed!

[theadoptionblog]

Can being an adoptee be traumatic?

Most definitely. Trauma is pretty much inevitable when it comes to adoption, even if one were adopted as a baby. Adoption has been shown to be linked to higher rates of depression and suicidal thoughts than in the general population. I would recommend looking up 'adoption trauma' for more information!

[demonessdollie-deactivated20180]

Just pleading for information about my biological family

Key information from this video: 1. Adopted out of Moscow, Russia as an infant. Born January 10 1994 in Moscow, Russia 2. Likely has Romanian, Bulgaria, and Southeast Asian in them 3. Has ancestors within the Romani community (different from Romania) 4. Birth certificate name: Anastasia Ivanov Koroliova

[kingstape-remade-blog]

it costs $0 to not mock others cultures and ethnicities

[dragongirltongue]

@mixed race adoptees

Does anyone else ever feel like you’ve been robbed of your experiences regarding one or more of your cultural backgrounds but at the same time feel kinda wrong trying to look into it?

I’ve basically grown up white and never really got to experience really being Vietnamese at all and due to being the only one of my heritage in my family. I feel like at this point looking into it would be wrong or something so I pretty much just don’t.

So yeah, anyone else deal with this and if so how do y'all deal?

[theadoptionblog]

Blue: a poem for my mother

BLUE The night is dark and silent The thoughts come rolling in And hour after hour I wonder where you’ve been

If you ever think of me In this deep dark night? As when the moon above us shines I sometimes think you might

At one point we were one So long ago it seems a crime But our bond is of a love One that will outlast time

If I ever saw you again I’d ask how you’ve been keeping? All I’d need is just one look Our time all too fleeting

To say that I don’t miss you Would be an outright lie Without you I am lost I’m trying to get by

I wonder where you are When we’re so far apart You’re already gone But never from my heart

I can’t ever let it out Or the sadness will grow So until we meet again It’s best you don’t know

So it’s at night in the darkness Where I think of you And the night isn’t black But a dark shade of blue

[demonessdollie-deactivated20180]

Reblog if you were adopted out of Russia

I wanna network with other russian adoptees :)

[theadoptionblog]

Signal boosting this!

[skathiiofviihar]

I’ve been going through the adoptee tag and it made me want to offer any comfort I can to anyone struggling with their experience as an adoptee. I’m 27, female, and adopted before age 1. I have an older brother who’s also adopted from another family 9 years before I even came along. I don’t know how many people would take me up on it, but I’m here if you need an ear. I’m here if you’re thinking about adopting. I’m here if you’re not adopted and are just curious. I’m here if you have questions, even if I don’t have answers, maybe we can find them together. Idk. I’ve always wanted to connect with our little community. Let’s just see.

[somethinglronic]

Dear transracial adoptees

You are under no obligation whatsoever to feel grateful to your white adoptive parents. They did not “give you a better life.” They gave you a DIFFERENT life.