Starting Over

Choosing to start over because I can.

[theart0fstartingover]

Hello, you call me Dot, I'm starting this tumblr as a sort of brain spill of sorts, I'll probably also reblog things but read further to figure out what you can expect.

Quick peak: therian // queer // trans // autistic // BPD // paranoid // agoraphobic // ESSA owner // pet and agere maybe // simplistic life // soulbonded.

No DNI cause I don't really care? just know I am 28 years old :) and do block freely if you make me uncomfortable for whatever reason. I don't see my blog being nsfw but some adult topics maybe talked about so protect your peace <3 (everything will always have proper cws)

The main point of this blog is to document things to see how far I've come, in my journey, basically a month ago and sat wishing I could just start over, start fresh, become someone new, and I realized that... wait I can, cause no one is stopping me from becoming who I want.

Of course that made me have to sit and figure out "Well who is that exactly", and I think I'm still figuring it out, but I figured out a few things and that's what I'm working toward.

So what are my long term goals as of right now? Well...

𐂯 // Screen Time down 𐂯 // Actual Sleep Schedule 𐂯 // Fall In Love With Reading Again 𐂯 // Be Cringe, and Passionate 𐂯 // Give A Fuck (its cool) 𐂯 // Organize my room in a way that makes sense for me 𐂯 // Let your mental health do its thing, just don't let it control you when possible. 𐂯 // Leave the house at least once (1) a day!! For no reason. 𐂯 // Fall In Love with writing again 𐂯 // Choose whimsy and positivity, but don't neglect your other emotions. 𐂯 // Develop a healthy relationship with food.

Tagging System:

𐂯 // yipping = For yapping 𐂯 // weekly round up = for check ins 𐂯 // routines = for routine stuffs 𐂯 // food = for food (I'll also put other cw and the normal food tag.) 𐂯 // cleaning = for cleaning my room or other stuff 𐂯 // ESSA = For post to do with either of my essas :3 𐂯 // therian = for therian stuff 𐂯 // tisim = for autistic stuffs 𐂯 // agere = agere stuffs 𐂯 // petre = petre stuffs 𐂯 // physical media = physical media <3 my beloved 𐂯 // soulbonds = for talking about him ^.^ 𐂯 // agoraphobia = post about it 𐂯 // government mandated outside time = outside posts

[theart0fstartingover]

Had To Go To Work Today

I had to go to work today, for a past few months I've been able to work from home, easier that way with the type of work I'm doing. At some point that will change and I will be forced out of the house again. I know that'll make me tired, and drained pretty much all the time, I'm not looking forward to that.

Today was hard the moment I got up, my anxiety was out the roof, but I had already told them I was coming in so I could get stuff to do what I needed. So I decided to bring Bull.

This was first time bringing Bull to work with me, unless I was going the therapy in the middle of the work, I usually wouldn't bring my ESSA's with me. Once again fear of judgment.

I honestly am not sure people there like me much, besides my boss's, I don't really care about being liked but its just the bad vibes I get from them over all while working, I hate feeling eyes on me, I hate feeling like people are mad at me.

That being said having Bull with me really helped, and no one said anything. Which was a surprise. They felt like the kind of adults who would say something about him, but they didn't, anyway, I got a picture of him on one of the chairs while I was waiting for someone to get done on the computer.

[theart0fstartingover]

Small Outing with Bull

I'm sad I didn't get any pictures, but I finally brought Bull my ESSA out in town with me, I had to go to the store and I absolutely hate leaving the house to do stuff like that, but having him with me made it bareable.

I had often let my fear of small town folk judging me, but why be afraid of that? they're gonna think what they think.

I had brought Bull out before, as he is my main ESSA, and the one I have the strongest bond with. Only usually I'm with a friend, or outside of town where no one knows me anyway, so having him is essential.

If anyone's worried about bringing their ESSA out as an adult my experiences with it have only really been positive. Most of the time some older people will make small comments clearly making dad jokes like "Bet he's cheap to feed" or "your puppy's well behaved", and while most of the time I don't really like random encounter I can see they don't mean any harm by them

I've only ever gotten weird looks from some people, honestly most of the time people just wanna see him, or think he's cute <3