The Viking's Duplex

Welcome to my blog! I'm Luke, and I don't know what the queue is. I'm also deep into Steven Universe, so there's a lot of that. (Header credit to user cryptovolans)

[lucky-clover-gazette]

catra wants to TAKE ADORA OUT

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Kink-Shamed to Death

Context: The party is in the underdark and we are currently fighting an illithid. I play a 2.5 ft tall gnomic bard who is generally quite soft-spoken despite being a bard. At this point the DM has already noted that the illithid is looking pretty rough.

Me (OOC): I cast Vicious Mockery.

DM: Okay, what do you say?

Me (OOC): I stand up as tall as I can, put my hands on my hips, and shout.

Me: “No one actually likes tentacle porn, they only look at it because its fucking weird!”

DM: (Holding back chuckles) Okay, roll damage.

I roll 10 damage (3d4)

DM: (Laughing his ass off) So, your tiny gnome self steps up to the illithid, looking sassy, and shouts louder than any of your party members have ever heard. He looks a bit distraught for a second, and falls to his knees. Congrats. You just kink-shamed the mind-flayer to death.

[un-magnificentlivesofadults]

My mom just sent me this picture of my dog…I guess we got a lot of snow, then

[un-magnificentlivesofadults]

update:

[back-that-sass-up]

Great update

[idiopathicsmile]

it is pretty hard to find solid statistics on wolf attacks, but as far as i can tell, wolves in north america kill way way way less than one person a year, which means that forces more deadly to us than wolves include: dogs, ice fishing, and getting crushed by a falling flat screen tv.

…further complications to trying to write non-ridiculous angst into a werewolf story

“you don’t understand…i’ve done things under the full moon that i can never take back…one time i ate a squirrel”

[ursavorpalis]

“I SNIFFED MY OWN BUTT. THE INDIGNITY HAUNTS ME STILL.”

[idiopathicsmile]

“i have pooped in the woods and now must go brood about it. don’t try to follow me. 

…and seriously, be careful around your flatscreen, it is probably heavier that you think.”

[emilysidhe]

European wolves (before they were hunted into extinction in most areas) attacked humans purposefully a lot; it’s in the historical record.

North American gray wolves have a natural fear of humans and attack people very rarely, really only when threatened or starving.

So like, imagine, like, a divide between people who got infected with Old World and New World lycanthropy.  One makes you this dangerous beast that sees humans as a viable food source an another makes you perceive humans as a threat.  Imagine people getting it wrong!

Some shady paranormal group capturing a werewolf to use as security but it just runs away when people trespass.

Some hunters go deep into the woods to murder a werewolf clan for their pelts but it turns out they’ve isolated themselves so deeply because they have the European strain and none of the hunters survive.

New werewolves are so confused because the websites give conflicting advice:  get yourself to your nearest national park when you’re about to turn and just let yourself run free; if you try to cage yourself the claustrophobia and the smell of people will make you panic and you could really hurt yourself or someone else.

vs

If you’re anywhere near human civilization you must make sure you turn in a closed space that you can’t escape from in wolf form or you’ll definitely kill someone.  Just try to take a nap during the full moon, OK.

And they’re like, WHAT DO I DO WHICH ONE DO I HAVE?

[idiopathicsmile]

updated position: at the end of the day, there are, in fact, a number of possible compelling werewolf problems. 

case in point, the global werewolf cultural divide!

[idiopathicsmile]

on the subject of the global werewolf cultural divide, another update, per wikipedia:

Wolves from different geographic locations may howl in different fashions: the howls of European wolves are much more protracted and melodious than those of North American wolves, whose howls are louder and have a stronger emphasis on the first syllable. The two are however mutually intelligible, as North American wolves have been recorded to respond to European-style howls made by biologists (x)

that’s right guys: wolves have accents

[dogmatix]

@darkicedragon

[iguanamouth]

thanks kiwi for giving me money to make a bong dragon i love you

[stability]

what a guy‼️‼️‼️

[manipulatedskies]

He peek

[best-of-memes]

[whenwillwoodyallendie]

attention @ everyone who cares about animals!!!!!!!!!!

tl;dr: do NOT buy this brand of flea medicine. always do research before buying any kind of medication for your animals.

my boyfriend bought this at petsmart for our cat and when we put it on her, she started licking it bc i guess i accidentally placed it too low and he got worried so we’ve been on google to find out if it’ll harm her. we found some scary stuff.

it doesn’t happen to every cat that this product is used on, but there are reports of this product seriously hurting cats. it burns their skin and can be very painful. the screenshots above are reviews from amazon for the one in the blue box. the one we used is the one in the purple box.

some cats had reactions right away while others took a few hours. we put this on our cat about an hour ago (washed it off of her soon after) and she seems fine but we’re so worried about what could happen. even if nothing happens, this is a chance we never would had taken if we’d known.

ALWAYS RESEARCH BEFOREHAND. i can’t believe petsmart has this on their shelves after everything people have said about it. please spread the word by sharing this post! protect ur pets. a simple google search could have stopped all these cats from getting hurt.

[cenobitic-anchorite]

Don’t buy anything but front line. I learned this lesson once long ago. :/

[clatterbane]

http://www.consumeraffairs.com/pets/sentry.html

Looking at the 1-star average reviews here? The dog version doesn’t sound any safer, either. Lots of reports of neurological symptoms and other really bad reactions to the Sentry spot on products.

[kirby-kitty]

Don’t buy anything Hartz either…unless you want a dead cat/dog! :(

[princesstigerbelle]

Signal boost this!!

[theexoticvet-deactivated2022070]

Get your pet’s medications from your vet. I know that the price of these knock offs can be very tempting but so many of these products don’t work or can cause chemical burns as seen above. Not to mention, if you buy your product from a veterinarian, used it correctly, and something happens to your pet, most companies will pay the medical bill. If you bought the product somewhere else you have to pay out of pocket.

Also remember that almost all of those internet pharmacies use grey market products they get via diversion. These medications are often taken out of their original boxes and re-packaged, many are out of date. If something happens to your pet with these, you again are not covered. Most vets will price match if cost is truly the issue, we’d rather you get a safe product from us than save a few bucks to get something from the internet.

[brucesterling]

*Boy, that sure is catchy 

[old-songs]

this is every marvel trailer ever im sobbing ont he floor i can literally envision steve rogers narrating while tony stark punches something in rhythm of the beat

[amorphoussystem-deactivated2024]

How much longer until the utopic Solarpunk future where Capitalism is dead and we all live in ecologically sustainable high-tech forest cities? Asking for a friend.

[plantyhamchuk]

Until we make those ecologically sustainable high-tech forest cities ourselves. It’s going to take a lot of us to do it though, so best to spread the word (and gather native tree seeds).

[samiholloway]

And, like, get started now. Then our “weirdo houses” will be the only thing functioning when everything falls apart!

[plantyhamchuk]

The only reason why we don’t live in a solarpunk world right now is because no one has bothered to make it yet. 

We’ll have to make it ourselves, and we’ll have to help each other make it. That’s why it is solarpunk. 

Some resources to consider creating or joining or doing:

Repair cafes - create or join your local repair cafe! Repair stuff, learn how to repair stuff, teach others how to repair stuff.

Map of Makerspaces - make some things! learn how to make some things! teach others how to make some things!

Community Garden Map (note that this is US-only, and not a complete list) - join a local community garden

Support your local farmers / local economy (US only link)

Support or create a local Food Not Bombs chapter

Support or create a local Food Not Lawns chapter

Grow food in 5 gallon buckets

Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity (as a bonus you can learn extremely practical skills)

Volunteer via 350.org to help the environment / the planet / the place we live and depend on

Excellent-and-still-growing wiki from reddit’s awesome r/zerowaste community - great resource to learn how to live more lightly on the earth

Spread the word about solarpunk, especially to engineering students. Show them projects like Open Source Ecology - Global Village Construction Set and Bridges for Prosperity 

Learn how to Patch a Hole, Mend a Seam, and Fix a Hem

Learn how to repair a hole in the sole of a shoe

Learn some basics on passive solar design - clever use of the sun can create extremely energy efficient homes and buildings. You can use these principles to save on energy bills, even if you’re renting.

Free USDA Complete Guide to Home Canning, 2015 revision - cut down on personal food waste! Learn how to safely preserve food. Very useful if you suddenly harvest / purchase for crazy cheap in season / dumpster dive a ton of perishable food.

Donate to One Acre Fund, which provides training and capital to farmers (making them more productive and pulling them out of poverty) in various east African countries

Donate to Bridges to Prosperity, which provides technical expertise, money, and volunteers, to help local people build and maintain their own footbridges in extremely isolated rural areas 

joining r/solarpunk, and sharing links/ideas/art/music with the community. Also, upvoting stuff for greater visibility. There’s over 900 members!

[tariqah]

This is so great

[icecoldorangejuice]

@tropicalhomestead @stringornothing @westindianheaux !!!

[dateamonster]

original theory: succubi are always women, incubi are always men 

facts: in fact succubus comes from the latin word “succubare” which means “to lie under” and incubus comes from the latin word “incubare” which means “to lie on”

new improved theory: incubi are always tops and succubi are always bottoms. gender doesn’t matter at all.

[eurynomephoenix18]

Visit Original Link

[diligar]

ITS TIME ITS TIME ITS T I M E

[plant-royalty]

NO IT’S TOO EARLY STOP RIGHT THERE

[mttgwen]

IT’S TIME

[nbtoaster]

IT IS TIME

[autumn-bookworm]

IT’S TIME

[autumn-n-acorns]

IT’S TIME

[pumpkinpatchbitch]

IT’S TIME

[halloweentreat]

IT’S TIME

[draconigenissima]

IT’S NOT TIME IT’S JULY

[mx-herma-main-deactivated202103]

IT’S TIME

[dreveak]

IT’S TIME

[tallestsilver]

IT’S TIME

[xxtruleyinsanexx-deactivated201]

NOT YET

[screamingatsquirrels]

IT’S TIME

[awkwardespionage-deactivated201]

IT’S TOO DAMN EARLY. STOP.

[salamandergoo]

ITS TIME. ITS BEEN TIME FOR MONTHS.

[poopypapyrus-deactivated2018051]

IT’S TIME GUYS

[callmealx]

IT’S A U G U S T

[missivorystone]

IT’S TIME

[fearthefuzzybear]

NO NOT YET

[narwhalsarefalling]

ITS TIME

[protegoparacosm]

IT’S TIME

[hwardlaunch]

Fun family story: when my aunt was marrying her wife everyone was really excited but also dreading it because my aunt is known for her insanely long speeches so everyone knew her vows would be like 9 hours long so when it came time for her to say her vows she had a shit ton of cue cards in her hands and even her wife started groaning and my aunt took a deep inhale and then unravelled all the cue cards which were taped together and they all just read ‘HOT DAMN’ in giant letters and those were my aunts vows.

[irondeficientbull-deactivated20]

[sonnetscrewdriver]

That’s the face you make when you’re the product of a democratic socialist utopian culture where the very concept of currency no longer exists and they’re still somehow not paying you enough to deal with this shite.

[that-pansexual-feminist]

✨ REBLOG IF YOUR BLOG IS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE, A SAFE SPACE FOR LGBT+ PEOPLE ✨

[mortem-et-necromantia-deactivat]

[ex0skeletal]

Comic by Jake Likes Onions

Twitter

[shadowy-dumbo-octopus]

Wait until he finds out that he can roast them over a fire

[unofficial-cactus]

English has alternating stress patterns that indicate whether related words are nouns (first syllable stressed) or verbs (second syllable stressed):

Noun: récord Verb: recórd

(x)

[unofficial-cactus]

My fucking god!! This is why English does the thing!!!!

[ground-dove]

contract

contract

FINALLY IT MAKES SENSE

[unofficial-cactus]

it’s the most subtle difference but it’s beautiful.

[zorascreation]

This is why English should be written with accents.

[blackfemmejeanvaljean]

my mind is blown