Sunrise, Parabellum

Emily or M (they/them). I do not control my hyperfixations

[afeelgoodblog]

The kid will cherish this for their whole life. If they remember it.

[theroseandthebeast]

[nightpool]

went to look this tweet up so I could rt it and discovered this is the same dude as the tubthumping tweet masterpiece

[supreme-leader-stoat]

King

[mortalityplays]

I highly recommend developing a tolerance for polite low level conflict, not just because it will serve you well when employers or whoever try to impose bullshit on you with the expectation you'll fold rather than expend energy arguing, but because it will make you a genuine asset to your friends and allies whenever they're in positions where they're less able to fight for themselves.

the first and most important step is learning to stay calm when someone with authority tries to pressure you. take a breath, think about what you actually believe, and respond in your own time. if they try to brush past or talk over you, you can say "excuse me, can I think about that for a moment. I'd like to give you a proper answer." self esteem. you're both just upright monkeys.

[softcells]

i think i want a glass packer, it would give me an edge and add a lot of danger to my mundane life

[softcells]

dance too hard in the club and my dick flies out of my pant and shatters all over the floor

[bogfox]

Cinderella

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

[emily84]

[backstagestitches]

(via Meme Stitch 3)

Dedicated to all the well-meaning, ill-informed strangers who see me stitching in the wild

[wheel-deal-stitches]

this is one of the most meta things that I have ever seen. the layers and experiences needed to understand this are absolutely hilarious. this is amazing and I love it. <3 

[662607015]

having a freeze response to stress is so funny in the context of normal adult stressors. millions of years of evolution are trying to tell me that the email will not find me if i stay very still and do nothing

[662607015]

oh one source of bad information by robert bly we're really in it now

[ganondorf]

i think this captures the defining pathology of the collective social media psyche right now. we are in the thrall of people who are wantonly cruel but who also demand to be coddled at all times in every way

[tedcruzisthezodiackiller]

[blurds]

this is the funniest thing I’ve seen in weeks

[zyzscribbles]

Important question

[awkwardbirdsdreaming]

Okay but I think these two are onto something

[verbrannt74]

Test subject

(no bird was harmed)

[aggressivewhenstartled]

I am so excited to tell you that bird overalls (diapers) already exist.

[vintagewildlife]

"I can't believe humans would hunt the thylacine to extinction, humans are fundamentally evil" Hey, did you know that extinction was long thought to be impossible, and within 50 years of humans realizing that extinction via overhunting was a possibility it practically stopped happening? Did you know that humans are so desperate to prevent more losses that they're funneling millions of collective hours and billions of euros into helping other species? Hours and euros that could be spent on humans, being spent on species on whom humanity's own survival does not depend? Did you know that due to an accidental introduction of rats, the Lord Howe Island stick insect population was brought down to 24 individuals and now there are tens of thousands of them?

This bug. This bug that, to most humans, is utterly useless, relatively gross, and completely foreign. Humans saved it because humans do not want to cause another extinction ever again if they can avoid it.

[robogrind]

love the word fruitless. arguing with you is like if there was no apples involved whatsoever

[robogrind]

you're bountiless you stupid bitch

[the-zenith-calls]

My favorite scenes in the LotR books are the ones where Legolas has vital information and just decides it's not important to share.

Like when Gandalf spent literal PAGES trying to figure out why the vibes were off in Moria and Legolas chimes in with just "it's a balrog :) that shit's evil :) we're so fucked :)" like what do you MEAN you knew already and just didn't tell him??

Or at the beginning of Two Towers when Aragorn thinks there's something nearby so he puts his ear to the ground to listen, and then like 10 minutes later is like "hmmm i hear horses" and Legolas is just like "mm yep. there are 105 blond bitches with spears" like you just let your friend put his face in the dirt and you can SEE them??

Legolas please gain a sense of urgency

[knives-in-the-dishwater]

It's because legolas hasn't spent enough time with non-elves to remember that they don't know what he knows.

gandalf is scratching his head in moria, and legolas is thinking "oh man, the wizard noticed something off *besides* the obvious balrog that we all are aware of??"

"I wonder what aragorn is listening for? must be hard to hear, what with all of the horses. How many horses are there, actually? 1... 2... 3..."

[taavicleric]

"What do your elvish eyes see?" is Aragorn saying, as politely as possible, "Because the REST OF US are at a significant disadvantage, Prince Dipshit."

[ryan-sometimes]

One of my favorite things about having a degree in biochemistry is going undercover at a store like Sephora. I can read the composition of the cosmetics and actually understand them. There’s no words to describe how great it feels. It’s like being in on an inside joke or secret

[ryan-sometimes]

The main thing I observe is that a lot of employees recommend makeup that is chemically incompatible. For example, if you ask them to recommend you a foundation and concealer, a lot of times they’ll pick two products that are chemically immiscible, so they’ll NEVER blend together successfully.

Generally foundation/concealer is either water or silicone based. There are upsides to each based on your needs. However, water and silicone are immiscible, and so if your foundation is water based but your concealer is silicone based, you will never get a good blend between these products. You’ll have to go back to switch to something that works.

[ryan-sometimes]

If you want to test for this in-store, mix the two on the back of your hand. If they form a uniform mixture, they’re miscible. If they separate, they’re chemically incompatible, and should not be used together. You can do this for any number of skin products. Primers, moisturizers, foundations, concealers, contour sticks, etc etc. Anything that comes in liquid or paste form.

You don’t need to understand all the chemicals on the label to run this experiment!

[nobrain-nothoughts]

As someone in pharmaceutical sciences I also experience similar things, so a hint from me: collagen is useless. In a cream it will not penetrate the skin, so doesn't do anything. As a food supplement, lemme tell you a secret: collagen is a protein. And when you eat protein, your stomach thinks its food and chops it up, so it can be used to make your own protein. Collagen is just expensive protein powder, and doesn't do anything meat or a veggie substitute does.

[pmamtraveller]

"Hang In There Baby" by Katie Aki

[lukmarc10]

mom i can't go to school today, it's everytime we touch day

[un-father]

[corviiids]

was talking to a coworker and realised i could not for the life of me remember his name but i was too embarrassed to ask because we've spoken multiple times so mid-conversation i started concocting a plan to nudge the conversation towards the ID photos on our building passes so that i could be like oh my ID photo is awful haha the camera they use to take these has a real talent for making me look as unphotogenic as possible and then he would say oh yes me too haha everyone says that (because they do) and then i would be able to say well let me see yours it can't be as bad as mine! and he would show me his ID because we are coworkers and why wouldn't he and this would allow me to see his building pass which of course would have his name on it and then i would be able to say well yours is perfectly nice it must be me that's the problem! and then we would have a polite chuckle about it and i would have his name without needing to ask for it and he would be none the wiser and all would be well but then before i could execute this fine plan a little voice in my head went "so this is some light yagami bull shit you are about to pull" which was such a violent reality check it shocked me completely out of my embarrassment and i went "hey im so sorry your name has slipped my mind could you remind me" and he did and it was fine.

[lastoneout]

"This is some Light Yagami bull shit you are about to pull" <- Littany against avoiding small embarrassing/awkward moments that don't matter with over the top ass mind games.

[bizarrelovesquare]

unironically love the phrase “but I’m being so brave about it” because truly, like, what other choice do we have in this wretched existence? what a beautiful way to remind yourself to keep going, even if only out of spite