Theatrey Bullshit

A blog full of my theatre ideas an headcannons and other shit

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If at your wedding, you don’t shout “LETS MAKE THIS SHIP CANON!” and fire off 10+ cannons, deafening the entire ballroom, what are you even doing?

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Okay but what the actual fuck ARE the Balladeer and Proprietor? Are they…mirages? Omniscient storytellers? Both is able to be seen and interacted with in the show. Are they deities? I think that’s what they are… let’s check

HEY @ballsblogs, @proprietorblogs !

What are you? (If you’re still active)

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Fun fact: there are multiple fanfics on AO3 shipping John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald.

And they aren’t all bad.

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I JUST HEARD ABOUT THE GREATEST MAFIA MOVIE!!

It’s called Goncharov (1973) and it’s a story about betrayal and homoeroticism. It’s directed by Martin Scorsese and it’s a MASTERPIECE. I believe everyone in the world should watch this amazing movie.

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Not theatre but—

Me an my English friend (gay) were talking about how queer Shakespeare is when some people (also gay) pointed at me n my friend and said “look! It’s the gays!” And we just burst out laughing because dude

Then, when I’m sitting outside for the bus, someone I know was like “hey Eavan!” And we sit down, and he goes “what’s a polyamorous relationship” … “why do you want to know?” “Doesn’t matter.”

And once I explain he says “oh, like an orgy!” And I’m like “threes not an orgy?” And someone else I know from band walks up with someone I don’t know and hears this and one of them goes “no bro threes an orgy” and the one I know says “shut up” and asks me to be Simon from Alvin and the Chipmunks for Halloween

And that’s the past ten minutes

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*kevin price walks in the room*

Connor: God is testing me

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Two sentence horror story:

You log on to AO3 for the first time.

It’s October.

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Mendel: hey…uh…this, this might be weird to ask but

Is you wife single

Marvin: why do you….

Yes.

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Percy: HELP! I TOLD ANNABETH I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Grover, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

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Dolokhov: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Anatole: I think you mean cards.

Dolokhov, pulling knives out of his sleeves: No, I do not.

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Enjolras: How petty can you get?

Grantaire: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

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They should redo the live action movie like this:

Jasmine is Aladdin’s adopted daughter

Aladdin was in jail for 19 years

Aladdin has an obsessive cop who chases him everywhere

We add in a wonderful cast of ideological revolutionaries to bulk up the story

It takes place in 19th century France

They all die in the end

Oh. Wait.

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What did I do at 11 on a school night instead of homework?

Here’s how I think the Les Mis characters would write their names.

: Joly is a doctor, but Combeferre forced him to “at least make it /legible/!”

Grantaire just does a nice little R with a fancy tail on the end.

Combeferre has small neat writing, like the nerd he is.

Jehan doesn’t like the cursive J and adds a heart on his n’s.

Bahorel is aggressive.

Bossuet’s lead breaks so often that Combeferre, who had always had extra before, made a designated “Bossuet pencil box” for when it happens. Grantaire finds this whole predicament hilarious and has stolen the box more than once.

Feuilly has slanted F’s, curls his l’s at the end, and does a cursive y but. nothing else is in cursive?

Marius is normal. Annoyingly normal.

Courf is Courf

Enjolras writes in cursive, except the r’s, the r’s are dumb (read into That as much as you like)

Éponine writes a slanted E, but is pretty standard print writing in everything else, if a little cramped.

Cosette writes in pretty cursive, and draws long lines on her t’s.

Gavroche is a child with…honestly legible writing. (Thanks Ferre)

Valjean writes in cursive.

JAVERT

Fantine writes like Cosette.

Monsieur Thénardier has messy print script, while Madame Thénardier has messy cursive.

And Azlema’s here? For some reason?

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My theatre program has an online page like the rest of our classes, and while the other ones will have the class and teacher’s name (ex. English, Smith)

Do you want to know what the theatre page has?

*24601*

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I feel like polyamorous people are the peak spice girls because. If u wanna be their lover..

*U gotta get with their friends*

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The sins of Victor Hugo:

Bishop Myriel, The Battle of Waterloo, The Parisian Sewer System, Calling R UGLY??

The sins of Tom Hooper:

Cutting Grantaire’s solo in Drink With Me, Cutting Grantaire and Gavroche’s relationship, Not caring about Grantaire at all, H*gh J*ckm*n, R*ss*l Cr*w*

CONCLUSION!

Everyone been doin R dirty.

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“What’s that one musical?”

Hm?

“The one made in the late 2010s and is based on a long book”

Great Comet, Les Mis, or Hamilton

“The one that takes place in the 1800s”

*Great Comet, Les Mis, or Hamilton*

“The one with the Europeans”

*Great Comet. Les Mis. Hamilton.*

“The one with the gay ships”

WHICH ONE?????