How to Pick Up Chicks at Disneyland
As my first post on tumblr, it is only right to start off with tips on how to pick up smokin' hot babes at Disneyland considering I just got back from the raddest bro trip at the Happiest Place on Earth.
Now it is a known fact that hot girls love Disneyland. As soon as you step one single foot inside the park you are showered with dime pieces. And that's why it is a magical place ; ). The female species lose it over Mickey. So what is a Bro Alpha Lion suppose to do to in order to win over the hearts of these mouse lovers? Well here are a few tricks and tips I've learned:
1. ALWAYS wear a tank. You don't work out all the time to hide under a shirt! Put that tank on and whip out those illegals!
2. UNDERSTAND that you and your Bros are gonna be the hottest dudes at the park. So it's only fair to say that most if not all girls will be intimidated. Therefore, it is up to you to initiate the move if you want her to be yo vacation slampiece.
3. MAKE sure to find a group of girls (looks of legal age) to stand in line next to. Make sure the ride is a dark ride (find out why later), and that it is a line with at least a 30 minute wait, how can you work game on a line that moves faster than the town whore?
4. Now, once you find a group of girls make sure (pay attention,this is the important part) that it consists of at least two dimes, one grenade, and a couple average looking ones. The reasoning behind this brolosophy, is that if you somehow unimaginably get rejected by the hotties with the tits, you can still bang her average friends because those are the ones who want the attention of a male counterpart, since they are usually overshadowed by their good looking bffs. The grenade is needed for you to get into conversation with the group. Always talk to the grenade first because you want to seem interested in the ugliest one first to make the others jealous.
5. Marking your girl is a must, like when dogs piss on things. But the Bro Code states that the alphas in your bro tribe always get dibs on the dimes, the betas get the average girls. We all have that one not tan, nor ripped friend in the group who tries to fit in but is more of a charity case to the group...he gets the grenade.
6. Conversations with the female should go like this, 90/10. 90% you talk mainly about yourself. You need to instill in her head that she is dealing with a God, a legend, a F*cking immortal piece of lean meat. 10% is letting her ask questions to clarify anything she wants repeated.
7. When the line guy asks how many are in your group for the ride, before anyone says anything YOU must give the total amount of your boys and the future slampieces to ensure every "couple" gets to ride together. If she tries to be shy and says she just wants to ride with her girls, nod your head like you understand but really we all know she wants the D. The moment your car comes to take you on the adventure you put your arm around her and lead her to the seat next to you. Game over!
8. Lastly, enjoy the head you'll be receiving once inside. It'll be dark and the best two minutes of your life. Luckily for me all I need is one : ).
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