beautiful mistakes

The name's Aziz, but you know that already. I'm the son of Aladdin and Jasmine, twenty-two years old, and next in line to be Sultan. Before that happens though, I'm working as a sports commentator, so make sure to listen for my smooth as silk voice the next time you watch a tourney game!

[theazizali]

text 🧵 open

Marley: i have some fun halloween craft ideas for the center and i wanted to run them by someone. anyone interested?

Aziz: Lay them on me! You know how I love judging things.

[jeremypotts]

So, um, I may have slacked on sprucing up my office before school started this year. Oops? But it’s not too late and I feel like I should add something new still. I was thinking of maybe putting some inspirational quotes on my walls. Good idea or no? And if I do, do you think I should go just posters or maybe try and get them framed?

[theazizali]

I’m gonna go ahead and vote ‘no’ on the inspirational quotes, dude. It’d make you look way too much like one of those school counselors in the movies that tries too hard to be ‘hip with the kids’ and uses slang that’s way too young for them and sits backwards in chairs to ‘rap with them about feelings’, and you’ve already got a face that’s way too nice and lends itself to that. Maybe frame stuff that would show them about your personality? I don’t know, if I was a kid and had to go talk to a guidance counselor, I’d want to feel like I knew the counselor a little bit too since I was about to, you know, spill my guts to them. 

[theazizali]

TEXT 👌 AZIANA

Ariana: Lol okay, happy to help 🙄

Ariana: I didn't mean it in a negative way! Would you prefer it if I called you cute then? That's so weird! You give off way more dateable vibes than like ride n hide ones! What kind of girls do you hang around when you go out?! Seriously! I don't! I don't even think it's tall modelesque girls, just me! And to a slightly lesser extent Leilani too! So we're like experts on the life of being lonely royals.

Aziz: 🤪🤪🤪

Aziz: Cute is BETTER but it's still not preferable. Is that really the best word you can give me? Seriously? Not to sound conceited here but 'hot's been used before, a LOT. 'Gorgeous' and 'handsome' and 'heart-throb' too. And right?! I have a theory that girls are intimidated out of wanting to date me precisely *because* I'm a royal. And honestly, the same probably goes for you too, because I can't think of another reason people aren't lining up to date you, or your sister for that matter. It's like, most of our parents married their first significant other or whatever, so it's just a shit ton of pressure for people. Most royals our age DON'T date around either. They're either, like, with the same person they've been with for a while like Ben or Will, they're perennially single like you and me, or they sleep around and are considered freaking playboys like Lucas and Chad, there's no in between! And that might be a little exaggerated but it's also not.

[theazizali]

TEXT 👌 AZIANA

Ariana: Has anyone told you lately how dramatic you are?

Ariana: Anyway I’m not incredulous at the idea that people would throw themselves at you. I mean I would never say you have the ass of a devil because what does that even mean? But I don’t think you’re ugly or anything. I just mean like SPECIFICALLY just getting offered a bunch of one night stands? What’s the appeal of just ONE night? And Nope, I don’t! Not really!

Aziz: Not lately, no, and often enough for my taste, so thanks! I was starting to think I'd lost my touch and was fading into obscurity.

Aziz: Gee, thanks. You're not hideous yourself. I mean, I don't know if they secretly want a relationship or whatever but when I go out, yeah, girls want to go home with me or whatever. Personally, I'd WAY rather date than bop it for a night or two, but the girls I want to date don't want to date me and usually that's not what I get offered anyway so that's just the life of a lonely royal lol. But seriously? You don't? I guess tall modelesque girls are finally out of vogue, someone tell the world!

[theazizali]

TEXT 👌 AZIANA

Ariana: Omg dark. People do that though? Just offer you one night stands? Enough that it’s like a PROBLEM?

Aziz: I'm going to try my hardest not to be insulted by the incredulity but ouch. That hurts as much as if I'd thrown myself off the balcony without carpet there to catch me.

Aziz: I'm a hot prince with the voice of an angel and the ass of a devil, I get offers all the time. Don't you?

[theazizali]

TEXT 👌 AZIANA

Ariana: dfkjddsj Why?

Aziz: Because if I have to turn down one more one-night stand proposal in the name of being a "good future sultan", I'm going to throw myself off a balcony without carpet there to catch me.

Aziz: I'm kidding. Kind of. But also kind of not.

[theazizali]

TEXT 👌 AZIANA

Aziz: This is probably TMI but I swear I'm THIS close 👌 to just straight-up asking my mom to relent on her values and pick a damn wife for me already.

[theazizali]

INSTAROYAL: @AZIZALI​ UPLOADED A PHOTO!

Proof that I look good even in craptastic lighting. Felt cute, won’t delete later.

↳ VIEW ALL COMMENTS

[theazizali]

TEXT 🕵️ AZFIA

Sofia: I can understand. The embarrassment from that would be long-lasting and it's for all eyes to see. Thank you, Aziz. You definitely have a lot of your father in you. You know the right thing to say at all times. I hope I can continue to bring grace and pride to my family's name. And you! Aziz, you're going to be amazing I already know it. I would entrust my kingdom with you in a heartbeat. You carry many great traits of a leader

Aziz: I still haven't recovered fully from an entire castle of people flash mobbing to me when I turned ten. And aww shucks, you flatter me. You're not wrong though, I can gab with the best of them. It's a gift and a curse lol. I'd entrust my kingdom to you too. I know you'd do right by the people of Agrabah, just like you do for the people of Avalor. Are you guys planning on holding any diplomacy meetings any time soon? I'd love an excuse to visit and I'm sure my parents would let me go in their place.

[theazizali]

TEXT 😲 AZIANA

Ariana: Shit wow, I thought people who only watched the movies and didn't read the books were a MYTH! I've read all of the books several times and you miss out on sooo much with just the movies! Did you like them??? Same! This summer has been weirdly dry and I hate it. What did the peanut butter vodka taste like on its own? And HOW did you manage to drink that straight?

Aziz: I thought people who read the books were a myth but hey, looks like we've found each other! I'm sure there's like way more lore in the books or whatever but I didn't really watch the movies for lore, you know? I watch for cool magic tricks and magic fights and all that jazz. I can't really imagine reading the history of the Triwizard Tournament would make those scenes more fun to watch but I've been wrong before. The movies were cool mostly! I wish there had been like 20% more action in all of them but they were fun. I'm guessing you're one of those "the book is better" people? Right? I want to throw some sort of shindig before fall's here but it turns out scheduling that is hard when I have other big boy shit to do. The peanut butter vodka on its tasted like regret but I just figured that's what all alcohol tasted like so I chugged! A MISTAKE!

[theazizali]

TEXT 😲 AZIANA

Ariana: I didn't mean have you only ever seen the Harry Potter movies in reference to all movies ever! I meant did you not read the HP books too? It's so good and I made too much, hence half the team being fucked up rn! Wow really? That's nuts! Was it good? It sounds completely vile but how did it actually taste?

Aziz: OH well that's a totally different question and yeah, no, I didn't read those. I don't read much in general and there were movies available instead and that's WAY easier. Why, did you read them? I can't wait, I haven't been properly fucked up like all summer. And it was DISGUSTING, don't get me wrong, but it made me curious as to what the peanut butter vodka tasted like on its own and I finished the bottle and that's how I passed out at my first party!

[theazizali]

TEXT 😲 AZIANA

Ariana: Whew but also you've only seen the movies? Anyway the butter in butterbeer is butterscotch flavoring, but I kind of overpoured the vanilla vodka when it was supposed to be equal with the butterscotch schnapps.

Aziz: I've watched lots of movies, not only those lol! But shit, that sounds tasty! Like, REALLY tasty! I really love flavored vodka, unpopular opinion; my first drink ever was a shot of peanut butter vodka in some orange juice and I called it Breakfast Buffet.

[theazizali]

TEXT 😲 AZIANA

Ariana: DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT BUTTERBEER IS?

Aziz: I DO, I've watched Harry Potter like everyone else! I'm just not familiar with the recipe!

[theazizali]

TEXT 😲 AZIANA

Ariana: The second! I made the butterbeer myself!

Aziz: Fuck yeah, that sounds awesome! Is the butterbeer just butter melted into beer? Because even if that's it, I'm interested tbh.

[theazizali]

TEXT 😲 AZIANA

Ariana: Have you ever seen almost an entire tourney team drunk off their asses on homemade butterbeer?

Aziz: I haven't! Is this like a really weird riddle or a super fun invitation?

[theazizali]

TEXT 👏 COOPZIZ

Cooper: maybe lead with that next time? no, no one's giving me a hard time. people really read way too much into that junk.

Aziz: My introduction was WAY more fun for me lol! And yeah well that's just how Beastfeed is! Everyone reads it whether they admit it or not. I'm glad people aren't giving you crap though. As someone whose mom has never dipped out of the top five, I wish that were me.

[theazizali]

TEXT 🕵️ AZFIA

Sofia: wow! it has been ages since I've thought about singing telegrams. why do you choose those as form of 'punishment'? I would say I certainly have been preparing my entire life. I wanted, and still do, want to be as good a ruler as my mother. I think that you're going to be an amazing sultan for your people. maybe you don't feel just as ready but i think you are.

Aziz: Because I have a phobia of people singing to me in public so to me, it's like the worst possible punishment that could be bestowed upon another human being lol. Your mom left some big shoes to fill but if anyone can do it, it's definitely you. Some people were just born to be a ruler and you're one of them; it's going to be so exciting watching you bloom. And thanks, I hope you're right.