is ketchup a vegetable? @thebiflannel - Tumblr Blog

I hate that thing some people do where it's like. "I left my wallet on the table to see if you'd say anything" or "I wanted to see if you'd wash the car if I stopped doing it"

Cause like

I dont know about anyone else

But I am perpetually hovering three inches above the strong subconscious belief that everyone knows what they're doing at all times except me, so if you change your normal patterns and I notice, then I will assume it is an intentional choice with a thought-out plan behind it and I will avoid interfering

And if I don't notice, because I won't, because why would I, because not much bothers me and if you don't say anything to indicate you are bothered then how would I KNOW

teaboot

Alternatives to experimenting on me like a lab rat when you suspect me of being inconsiderate:

"I feel like I'm the only one who does this chore. Can we start taking turns?"

"I'd like you to ask me how I'm doing more often."

"It bothers me when this area stays messy so long. Can you do X when Y happens?"

"I feel like the onus is on me to initiate X, and it's wearing me down. Could you try making the first move more? Like 3-4 times a week?"

"I'm feeling upset right now and I'd like to spend some time with you."

"When X happens, I feel like you're taking my work for granted."

"I'm feeling neglected. Could you do X?"

"I'm burnt out and need help."

"I feel like I'm the only one putting effort into X."

"Do you notice this?"

"Are you bothered by this?"

"I am bothered when this happens."

"X habit of yours bothers me."

"When X is like this, I feel bad. Can you [action] when you notice X?"

hug-your-face

pbeeanjay

fish out of water

closertotheclouds

It’s the same picture 😭

#ryliver

sua-sponte-deactivated20200331

I’m watching that documentary “Before Stonewall” about gay history pre-1969, and uncovered something which I think is interesting.

The documentary includes a brief clip of a 1954 televised newscast about the rise of homosexuality. The host of the program interviewed psychologists, a police officer, and one “known homosexual”. The “known homosexual” is 22 years old. He identifies himself as Curtis White, which is a pseudonym; his name is actually Dale Olson.

So I tracked down the newscast. According to what I can find, Dale Olson may have been the first gay man to appear openly on television and defend his sexual orientation. He explains that there’s nothing wrong with him mentally and he’s never been arrested. When asked whether he’d take a cure if it existed, he says no. When asked whether his family knows he’s gay, he says that they didn’t up until tonight, but he guesses they’re going to find out, and he’ll probably be fired from his job as well. So of course the host is like …why are you doing this interview then? and Dale Olson, cool as cucumber pie, says “I think that this way I can be a little useful to someone besides myself.”

1954. 22 years old. Balls of pure titanium.

Despite the pseudonym, Dale’s boss did indeed recognize him from the TV program, and he was promptly fired the next day. He wrote into ONE magazine six months later to reassure readers that he had gotten a new job at a higher salary.

Curious about what became of him, I looked into his life a little further. It turns out that he ultimately became a very successful publicity agent. He promoted the Rocky movies and Superman. Not only that, but get this: Dale represented Rock Hudson, and he was the person who convinced him to disclose that he had AIDS! He wrote the statement Rock read. And as we know, Rock Hudson’s disclosure had a very significant effect on the national conversation about AIDS in the U.S.

It appears that no one has made the connection between Dale Olson the publicity agent instrumental in the AIDS debate and Dale Olson the 22-year-old first openly gay man on TV. So I thought I’d make it. For Pride month, an unsung gay hero.

is-the-post-reliable

RATING: RELIABLE

you can listen to the clip of the 1954 interview here and find him on wikipedia here

#important

februarytrash

being sad and horny is a privilege

cuntylestat

i genuinely think that caring very deeply about whether a character tops or bottoms as if it's some important moral issue makes you the biggest loser on planet earth

cuntylestat

i also think many people don't realize how heteronormative their views on bottoming vs topping are because it usually just boils down to the bottom being the feminine wilting flower and the top being the masculine beast. like maybe question why anyone messing with your favorite gay heteronormativity play upsets you that much lol

gardenvarietyhuman

💥🙌👏

ineffablebookgirl

Well shit, Henry Jenkins, out here in 1997 dropping truth bombs

addressmysol

Oh hey I need this for a research paper I'm writing, thank you!

angstbotfic

i mean he had been out here since 1988 dropping such bombs:

"'fandom' is a vehicle of marginalized subcultural groups (women, the young, gays, etc.) to pry open space for their cultural concerns within dominant representations; it is a way of appropriating media texts and rereading them in a way that serves different interests, a way of transforming mass culture into a popular culture"

Jenkins, Henry. “Star Trek Rerun, Reread, Rewritten: Fan Writing as Textual Poaching.” Critical Studies in Mass Communication 5, no. 2 (1988): 85–107. https://doi.org/10.1080/15295038809366691.

there are even some earlier works in fan studies but that’s what i have ready to hand.

#henry jenkins my beloved #he was the glue that held my master's thesis together

darkandstormyranger

finally some relatable content on ig

blanketforcas

you're watching a show and you're like ah yes i see. we're making spaghetti! i love spaghetti! and then some of the people making the spaghetti go no we're making carbonara. and you're like okay well what you're doing is exactly how people like you have made spaghetti before so i'm gonna assume you want us to think you're making spaghetti. and then this goes on for years and when they're finally done cooking they make the spaghetti explode and the sauce and everything is splashed across the walls and some of it even landed on their faces but they still insist that no i don't know where you're seeing all this spaghetti. we have people here with allergies how could you accuse us of this