My Little Slice of Random

[thebluejay27]

Shoutout to my lovely crafty girlfriend, who crocheted me a scarf so I can hide the hickies she gives me. I'm in love with this madwoman

[thebluejay27]

No Mr. Walmart employee, it wasn't me you heard shouting "shit this thing has no brakes!" In the bikes section of the store. I have no idea who that could've been.

[thebluejay27]

Someone called me funny back in elementary and I've internalized that ever since. For the past 10 years I have become the ultimate jokestar, the cosmic comedian, the pinnacle of humor. We are not the same

[thebluejay27]

Being bisexual is like being half gay but twice as single.

My relationship status is inversely proportional to my sexuality.

[thebluejay27]

Season 5 marichat > previous season marichat. Excluding Glaciator 2, of course.

[thebluejay27]

Season five is making me want to physically throw hands.

[thebluejay27]

Haha flashback to the time I used to scratch mosquito bites incessantly due to anxiety to the point that it would scar, and instead of trying to get to the root of the problem my mom threatened to start throwing my hoodies on the fire everytime she saw a raw mark.

Like, ouch woman.

[thebluejay27]

I am Alya and she is me

[thebluejay27]

The original guardian: Ladybug, you've failed in protecting your miraculous

Ladybug and Cat noir: Dude shut the fuck UP we're trying our best

[thebluejay27]

Miraculous if characters could swear:

Bunnyx: FUUUUUUUUUUUCK not another timeline break

[thebluejay27]

I know highschool is supposed to be like the best years of my life but there's something in me that can't wait for college.

Eating lunch on the grass, attending parties and clubs, living in a dorm... it all sounds so new and amazing and I cannot wait to experience it.

[thebluejay27]

"All that makes you lovely is deceased,"

-Bill Bryson's 'The Body'

[thebluejay27]

"What would Jesus do?"

"Probably something vanilla."

[thebluejay27]

A guy snapchatted my (underage) friend and was like "Oh wow you have such nice lips. They'd be great for giving head."

So naturally she responded with, "Thanks. You have such a nice face. It would look great in a mugshot :)"

He unadded her 30 second later.

[thebluejay27]

"Have we not a perpetual inclination, in the teeth of our best judgement, to violate that which is law, merely because we understand it to be such?"

-Edgar Allen Poe

[thebluejay27]

The secret to sounding smart is to have opinions in various things. Really, try it. Defend your opinion with your life. Have passion for your opinion.

[thebluejay27]

Person A of your OTP is afraid of water, so the only way they can shower is with person B in the bathroom with them. Eventually it's so bad that B just sighs, strips, and gets in there with them to help calm them down.