Welp, this is itā¦ iāve been giving it some thoughts since some time ago, and this small break finally made me take a decision: itās time to stop using SFM.
It was a hard decision, more than i thought it would be, specially since right now iām almost at 6500 followers and it kinda feels like ātreasonā, but i simply canāt continue. (still, 6500? really? damn, i love you all @.@)
To put it simply, maybe some of you know that iāve been dealing with some bad stuff and with something resembling depression since some time ago, which made me stop using SFM. However, i came back because it helped me to keep my mind busy. Well.. that is not helping anymore, since the bad thoughts are coming back even if i use SFM (now they happen when iām about to sleep, keeping me awake more late than usualā¦), and once again i start to feel forced to ādo stuffā if i donāt publish anything after a few days of inactivity. Recently i had a reschedule at work and i was assigned to a new project, which means more work, more stress and less time to do stuffā¦ now iām tired most of the time (in fact, iāve been in bed this whole weekendā¦ ).
I know that a lot of people told me to take it easy, to do it only when i wanted and to not hurry at all. I knew that and i was sure that it was the best way to actā¦ however, i lack self-control and kept doing the mistakes again. My mind is not exactly at its most stable condition, so i end doing something completely different to what i said before :/
If i leave now, i know for sure that iāll come back. Maybe not in one week or in one month, but eventually iāll be bored one day and do something in SFM, then iāll do another one and once i realize iāll be publishing stuff here again and going back to square one, and that canāt be. Therefore, my intention is to delete all my ātoolsā to port stuff, SFM session files and such and uninstall SFM and Blender, that way iāll ālose everythingā and iāll remove any chance of attempt to come back (i know myself, that is demotivation enough to not want to do anything again if i lack the tools). Itās a bit overkill, but knowing myself i know thatās the best way to put a stop for real. Like one friend perfectly said:Ā āyou tend to be a Phoenix, but maybe this time you wonāt come back from the ashes if you throw it into waterā, and thatās what i plan to do.
With this, of course, iāll stop publishing here on tumblr. This will be my last post and my intention is to keep it here on the ātopā as final letter to everyone, since this is a goodbye. Iām going to disable the notifications on my phone and chat, soā¦ please donāt feel ignored if you send me an ask or chat with me on tumblr, because i wonāt get the notifications and i wonāt know if somebody is talking to me. My intention is to cut with tumblr and put an end to it. Maybe iāll keep using it as āspectatorā to check the work of my friends and such, but my point is to put an end to this account. I donāt plan to answer back again here on tumblr. (again, itās my way to cut with tumblr, iām not trying to ignore you, sorry T-T).
However, iām going to keep my email account. Itās linked to my phone and it barely has use anyway, but i want to keep something just in case somebody wants to contact with me. Iāll reply there unless iām sleeping or at work :p. My email is on the top of this site, under the description, butā¦ just in case, itās [email protected]. Feel free to send me a mail there if you want to talk with me :3.
Still, even if iām going to delete everything on my side, that doesnāt mean iāll delete anything of the free stuff available for you (iām a dick, but not that much xD). So of course all my models will still be available on SFMLab (here) (make sure to have an account and edit your settings to see adult/furry content).
However, some models, like the pokegirls (May, Mallow, Flannery, etc.) were removed from SFMLab because daddy Nintendo, so to make sure all of them are still available, iāll keep my MEGA Archive active (as long MEGA allows it).
So if you want to check all my animations and download all my ports, included the pokegirls banned by Nintendo, you can get them here on my mega archive:
https://mega.nz/#F!PnpTxLZA!mUC844TjqiFUJ0t6-gzNLw
(Make sure to spread this info, because iām not sure if people knows about the existence of these models, and we need to lewd more pokegirls :p)
(And of course, all my animations are available on rule34.paheal, rule34.xxx, naughtymachinima and exhentai, but the archive have the original .mp4 files with better quality :p)
And this is it, i would like to thank a lot of people for all the help i got to animate/port some models and a lot of people giving support exactly when i needed it. I suck at remembering names and i donāt want to miss anybody, so i wonāt name them. Fuck you Ć².Ć³Ā Ā xD.Ā You know who you are and i really appreciate you for all your help, specially when i had to deal with one of the hardest moments in my life and i felt completely devastated. I owe you a big one.
And also, thank you to everyone else. Thank you for all your support for all this time. Thank you for liking my shitty stuff and cheering me up when i needed it. You helped me much more than you think, and thatās something i wonāt forget. Youāre the best and i hope everything works in your favour :3
Itās kinda sad to leave this way, but it was an interesting journey (certainly i would have never imagined i would do porn for fun xD), and i hope you enjoyed even if itās just one of my shitty anims (even if it was just to laugh at them). If thatās the case, then all the hardships totally worth it and iām glad to make you āhappyā ^^
Thank you everyone! I hope everything gets better now for you too!
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