Que mi vida sea un viaje...

even though i often feel like i'm treading water, this is a space where i can document my thoughts, dreams, successes, failures and frustrations while i am growing as a teacher, learner and person. the hope is that, by pausing periodically, i might be able to see change and my personal journey unfolding.

[thechangeiseek]

So many moons have come and gone all alone I heard this song inside me to wait I was told but now I found a different sound I hear when you're around me It's something new because of you I hope I hear it forever My, my love I've been without you too long My, my love I've been running too fast to belong to anyone But then you came along When first I laid eyes upon your face This song replaced all the others I have written It's all brand new because of you Feels like I've known you forever My, my love I've been without you too long My, my love I've been running too fast to belong to anyone But then you came along You warm me like sunshine You cool me like summer rain Just let me sit down beside you Over and over again My, my love I've been without you too long My, my love I've been running too fast to belong to anyone But then you came along

Joshua Radin, "My, My Love"

[thechangeiseek]

My proposal to self: Don’t count on anyone else to bring beauty and adventure into my life. ...my time and money are my own. Do what I want to do. Go where I want to go. Buy what I want to buy. Be engaged by myself.

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/01/12/fashion/A-Third-Ring-Bearing-the-Most-Important-Truth-modern-love.html?_r=0&referrer=

[thechangeiseek]

Goodbye, Guate. Te recordare siempre en mi corazon.

[thechangeiseek]

Saturday in #SF - Noe Valley Farmer's Market, Dolores Park, Clarion Alley and Salted Caramel/Malted Vanilla from Bi-Rite. Mural: "Believe I'm Going To Die Doing The Things I Love."

[thechangeiseek]

Carving Out Space for Fear

I'm scared about the coming school year. Flat out. To say otherwise would be lying. Part of my quest on this vacation is to carve out some space for that fear to exist, not to take root, but to show its face. When I have done this before while meditating and asked for spiritual support, one of my favorite verses has come to mind:

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you

I have called you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.

When you pass through the rivers, they will not overcome you.

When you walk through the fire, you'll not be burned. The flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the Lord your God, your Savior. (Isaiah 43: 1-3)

This was one of my favorite verses as a child. I could feel that I was not alone in my worries and fears. Lately I have been contemplating the purpose of a relationship with God. I have realized that I can be a fairly controlling person -- not in a maniacal way, but in an extremely analytical way. In a relationship, which involves TWO human beings, not just one, I can spend hours shaping expectations for how I think a particular situation should play out, instead of just letting it happen. This is done in order to protect myself -- if I plan out everything beforehand, I won't get hurt -- right?

Since I've recently realized how this negatively impacts relationships, I've developed a new appreciation for why people engage in a relationship with God. To do so requires a complete surrender of control and a ton of faith. That's a reason why I have avoided it for so long. Those that engage in a spiritual relationship ideally learn how to do that with a higher being and then are able to bring that skill to a human partnership. I imagine a relationship in which I am not spending energy trying to get the person I am with to conform to my expectations. It sounds a lot like Namaste - The light in me honors the light in you. Until I find myself in another relationship, I am working on honoring the light in myself -- acknowledging the fear and anxiety, too -- and asking for help from my spiritual support in doing so.

[thechangeiseek]

Try everything. Be curious, ask questions. Let yourself be pulled in weird and interesting directions. Let your friends drag you to that thing you’re not so sure about. Go to a real bookstore. Sign up for an art class, a cycling class, an improv class. Bring a friend. When your friend bails, show up to class anyway.

DANCE DANCE REVELATION: VIRAL STAR KAREN X. CHENG ON HOW TO HAVE MORE DISCIPLINE

ACTUALLY, SCRATCH THAT. BECAUSE BEFORE DISCIPLINE COMES AN INVALUABLE LESSON: IT'S OKAY TO QUIT. 

[thechangeiseek]

He unlocks the gate, then the door. Sinks into a chair draped with a bed sheet. He's too tired to make tea. Looking up, he can see framed portraits of Jesus, the twin boys he raised, his wife. Across from him, on a faded poster in the hall, is a list she wrote almost 30 years ago. She made it for the boys, but Mr. Newton still follows it religiously. Things to do today: 1. Read Bible and talk to God. 2. Be considerate of everyone. 3. Show my family I love them. 4. Do my best in all my work.

At 99, a St. Petersburg man finds meaning in the working life

[thechangeiseek]

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.

But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it."

-- Richard on the nature of soul mates, talking to Liz in Eat, Pray, Love

[nothing-of-substance]

My dear, In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love. In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile. In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm. I realized, through it all, that In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.

Truly yours, Albert Camus (via skeletales)

[thechangeiseek]

Quandary Peak! No. 15 (I think?)

[thechangeiseek]

Mile High Magic #sunset #nofilter #ampedcolor

[thechangeiseek]

Moon Over Mile High #nofilter (at Sports Authority Field At Mile High Parking Lot)

[thechangeiseek]

God, you are the author. I am a character. You know the ending of the story. I don't. All I can do is let go and let the plot unfold as it may, held in your all-knowing love and grace.

[thechangeiseek]

...choosing heartbreak as a form of self-respect

--Donald Miller

[thechangeiseek]

Deep thoughts as of late

-- Yesterday: I spend all winter trying to get faster going down mountains. I spend all summer trying to get faster going up mountains.

-- Today, while running down the Barr Trail after doing the Incline: I am living the life I imagined. Sure, there are things I would change, but there I was breathing in a cloud (literally, there was a cloud over the trail), chasing one housemate and being chased by another, and I could feel my muscles and my strength propelling me forward. My day today consisted of waking up early, eating a quick breakfast, getting to Manitou Springs with housemates in tow, cranking out the Incline in 45 minutes (haven't done it in 3-4 years!), running down the trail, eating an amazing brunch, driving home, sleeping, catching up with friends, and now working on school. I've been allowing myself to worry about school and whether this was a good choice, but the facts are that teaching allows me to spend a couple months of the year doing what I love to do -- be outside, exercise, and explore. I am super blessed.

[thechangeiseek]

The Re-Evaluation of Needs

You do not need to be successful Or known. You do not need to be published  Or wealthy. Or accomplished. Or liked.  You need to be kind. To Love and listen. To sit by nature and contemplate the reasons for collecting unmet needs. Birds chirp.  A breeze through the eyelashes. This is all that matters. Those shiny goals only blind the matted beauty of right now.

--Kerry Docherty

[thechangeiseek]

Teach me to know my number of days Hold out my heart from getting carried away