Love is Selfless: My response to an unsavory Facebook post about homosexuality.
The grammar and spelling alone were enough to bring hot angry tears to my eyes, but that's another story for another time. I had to get my thoughts out after reading this, so I pulled off my sweatshirt (I was so appalled and it was making me way too warm) and typed out this rambled response. Enjoy.
Love is selfless. Those who love do not focus on the needs and interests of themselves, but primarily on the needs and interests of others. Love is unconditionally accepting of people—not necessarily of their actions, but of the people themselves. Love treats everyone as equals. As Christians, like you said, we are called to love.
When I love someone truly, I want to serve them. This desire does not depend on certain conditions (if you do this for me, then I will do this for you). Conditional love is not Godly love. If love was based on conditions, then none of us ought to receive it.
When I love someone, that person’s reaction to my behavior is very important to me. When I intend to love a person but I hurt them instead, I do not blame them. I seek to adjust my own behavior so that my love is well received. This is selflessness, and love cannot exist without it. What is the use of love that is perceived as hate? Is love just about the lover, or about the person who is being loved? The lover’s intentions are vital, but the lov-ee’s reactions are even more vital.
Christians truly and honestly believe that being vocal about their beliefs in the sinfulness of homosexuality is a method of love. Perhaps, they think, public condemnation of homosexuality will lead homosexuals to repentance. Perhaps, as they proclaim loudly the 7 verses that mention homosexuality out of 31,103 verses in the Bible, their hearts truly are swollen with compassionate love.
I am not here to debate whether or not homosexuality is a sin, nor the ins and outs of whether or not it is okay to live a homosexual lifestyle. I am, however, concerned about the image of my savior Jesus, and He is portrayed to the world through our actions and speech. From a fundamentalist Christian perspective, speaking out against homosexuality is loving. From a homosexual’s perspective, this is hate speech.
Overall, non-Christian people are not concerned with whether or not their actions line up with Biblical teachings. Tragically, most homosexuals are not Christians (why would they want to be? Who wants to come running to a God that they are told hates a central part of their identity?) and therefore fall into this category. They DO NOT CARE if they are living a Biblically mandated life. It is not their conviction. Christians feel that condemning homosexual behavior is loving because they are leading sinners from a path to death onto a path of life. But what use does it do to scream and shout and flail your arms at a person, trying desperately (and lovingly!) to get them to come with you to your glorious path of life, when they only perceive your screaming and shouting and flailing as hateful? Your loving intentions at this point do not matter. You will be ignored. In fact, you may even propel the person more quickly down the wrong path—away from your perceived-to-be-hateful screaming.
The loved-person’s perception of love is integral to love itself. There are ways to reach out to homosexual people without boldly and brashly declaring that an integral part of their identity is unbiblical and disgusting to God. One of my best friends is gay, and he has no interest in God. Even if God exists, he says, I don’t want to be friends with Him. He hates a central part of my identity. He must be cruel. This is the outcome of Christian’s well-intentioned love.
How dare you condone refusing business to someone based on their “sins.” Did Jesus refuse to serve you based on your life choices? Do you interview every person who comes into your business about whether they’ve told a lie today, or whether they have masturbated in the last week, or whether they have lusted after someone they are not married to, or whether they TRULY love the Lord their God with ALL their heart and ALL their soul and ALL their mind? Does the Bible mandate discrimination against homosexuals? If you believe it does, then you’d better start discriminating against straight people who have had sex before marriage, and people who put their money before God, and people who have stolen money from their mother’s purses, and greedy people, and people struggling with alcohol addiction too. Better just interview each person as they come in the door, and check up on their lifestyle, cuz Lord knows that if you fix them that Subway sandwich, you are personally pushing them closer to the gates of hell.
I encourage you to look more closely at the Bible, within its historical and cultural contexts, and assess whether or not maybe it’s YOU who is twisting the Bible to fit what YOU think is okay.
Freedom of speech is great. This does not mean it is wise to say everything you think all of the time. As soon as freedom becomes about entitlement, everyone loses some freedoms. Freedom is not about “I OUGHT to have this because I DESERVE IT.” It’s about everyone being able to live life abundantly, free from discrimination and hatred from those who are different. If Christians spent more time learning how to love people better and less time whining about freedom of speech, then maybe, just MAYBE, homosexual people would want to listen to us.
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