speak dumb. @thecinnamonphase - Tumblr Blog

I am completely in love with someone

We started working together in February and last night was her last shift since shes going to massage school and needs something with different hours. She definitely made work way more tolerable, even at its worst. She is the funniest person I have ever met. Like I should wear a diaper around her. She has grace under pressure. Shes been through some shit, but she keeps swimming. Shes artistic and inspiring. We can have serious conversations and the stupidest ones. It something I never expected to find, but everything I've always wanted. We're like best friends out of nowhere. She has a boyfriend which she likes most days. But it doesnt really bother me, like she could do better, but thats hers to find out. Im not going to try and interfere or guide in some direction. I just want to be around and laugh and admire from across the room. Have my own fantasy going on in my head. That alone makes me pretty damn happy. I think im finally growing up.

Well

I'm back in Austin. It's been a journey. Im a bar manager, whatever that means, of a restaurant. Dealing with food is not my favorite thing, but I like the hours. It's weird that my drinks are under a microscope, but people like them. Its a lot of responsibility, but I'm getting closer to where I want to be. Margot loves the backyard, she deals with bucky. He's only a year old so he's super playful, but sometimes she doesn't want to play. They manage well together though. My grandma nita died. Im still trying to figure it out. A lot has happened in these past couple months. I've been all over the board. Im pretty lonely. I started eating meat again. Some things are good, but overall, my body doesn't agree. So I'll be going back to cruelty free. Coming back hasn't made anything better, just more comfortable.

Emotional baby boy, emotional man.

Fuck you. I cant say sorry for something im not sorry about. Im sorry I went to your house and found out what I thought, was actually an actuality. Im sorry we couldnt work out. I wanted it but I know its not going to happen. And now shes pissed because when I say I want nothing to do with her. I actually dont. You might be an awesome catch here and people swoon over you and make drama, but im not buying into that. Theres no sympathy. Ive been in love, ive moved across country, ive dealt with trials and tribulations with some one I actually thought I would end up marrying. Fuck you and your couple of weeks. Ive gone such a long way to be comfortable with myself and to learn to be honest with myself and others. If you cant take that, give up on life or figure your shit out. But dont try and ruin it for me. It took everything to get here.

Made it to the safe zone. (at Lake Mirror Park, Lakeland, FL)

Dog daze

y-o-u-t-h-s

It's always too good to be true.

I had a girlfriend, someone I really liked. The first person ive actually liked and could see myself with in the past two years. We started back peddling after like 3 months and I couldnt figure out why. Maybe we rushed into the relationship, okay let's take it slow. I want this to work. Do you need a ride home tonight? No im good and she tries to pay my tab. An hour later shes in the back seat with another guy. I thought she was acting weird so I did some P.I. work. I found what I ultimately thought. Why do I always get fucked over? Why does the guy always have a truck. Its like I relived one of the shittiest memories I have. Fuck.

actualdogvines

It happened

I found someone who I want to be in a relationship with. It's been about a month. We hangout, she likes margot, and we dont have sex we just sleep and cuddle. And I feel completely okay with that. I can be myself and take it slow and she feels the same. It's awesome.

Stoked for saturday

Im picking up a new honda fit! It came down to the fit and a jetta. The jetta is cooler looking but I feel like margot would have more space in the fit and since im leasing I have more options with honda when my lease comes up. Im really excited to have my own car where I dont have to worry about maintenance constantly. It's the Margot Mobile.