Shifting and the Self-Pressure of Making the First Shift "Perfect"
sometimes I think about the subconscious pressure of the "first shift", "am I shifting to the right place?" "oh I really want to shift to xyz, but is that really the place i want to shift for my first time?" "what if i accidentally shift to the wrong place my first time?" were questions running through me.
-- please keep some of this with a grain of salt, this is a realization that helped me, but might not help you in the same way. take what resonates for you, even if it's nothing at all. --
i kept asking myself these things subconsciously.
all this does is just put unnecessary pressure on myself.
so what if i might shift to the "wrong place"? it doesn't make it any less meaningful (i use this idea loosely). i still shifted and hey, maybe that's not where i want to be in the moment but i have all the control to go where i want to.
even the dr that you want to go might not be 100% perfect, and you might make decisions you never thought you would once you're actually there. (i.e "i scripted that i'd be for example a potions major, but once i was there i realized that i actually wanted to focus on transfiguration". you're not stuck as a potions major just because you initially scripted it! free will baby, if you thought you'd like something at first you're not stuck, you can absolutely decide you don't like something and change it.)
"oh, but i've been wanting to shift to reality A for the longest time, and i wanted it to be my first! but now i'm getting the urge to shift to reality B, but i really want A to be 'the one'. so i'll just keep on focusing on A even if B really calls to me."
that's just blocking whatever flow you've got going on!
this feels like this scenario:
" i designed the blueprints for a water flow system and i really want to use my design A. i've been waiting since forever to use it and now that i have my first big project i'm so excited for it to be the design i use.
but i also have this other blueprint B, and i know it'd be way better suited right now. the design is just much better suited, it's more efficient and gets the job done better + faster than A.
and i know that A is great in its own right, but it won't be as good as B. but A means so much to me that i'll forgo the better flow of B. maybe the machine will take 20x as long or use up a lot more energy, etc.
it's okay to use B. aka it's okay to shift to the other DR, it doesn't make A any less good. A will still be there. there will come a time where A is the best for you in that moment. just like in the drawing, project 2 eventually came along, and it was the right design (DR) for you at that time. "
*inserts silly little drawing i did to emphasize this*
going back to the whole "making your DR perfect": for me it ties into doing it afraid and this fear of failure. not a fear of failure in terms of "i tried to and didn't shift (which i disagree with, i believe i partially get to this in the next point)" but a fear of shifting to my DR and realizing that it's not what i expected. realizing that the reality you've focused on for however long isn't what you thought it was, and because of this fear you're constantly trying to add stuff to your script because "what if this isn't the right DR for me?".
this is the thing about reality shifting, and it's the part that scares and excites me the most. its life. there will be things you learn later on that you don't like, experiences you realize you want to try out, people that you never thought about who you now want to meet, lessons you'll learn. and it's okay to realize these things and leave behind some DRs that no longer serve you. and you learned what you could from them, and even through letting them go doesn't diminish the meaning it has for you.
this fear reminds me of painting.
you can plan and plan a painting all that you want, constantly redrawing the sketch of it, rearranging, erasing, figuring out color schemes, etc.
but you will never fully know how it'll turn out until you start painting. you can't predict every brush stroke. even in the middle of it, maybe you realize there's a new brush stroke you wanted to add. you don't have to stick to that original plan.
it's okay if your painting isn't quite what you expected. maybe you want to change some colors, or change the whole composition (like shifting to a movie plot and realizing you want to just have a life with those people without that original story), or even scrapping the painting entirely.
you are the painter. you are in control of your shifting journey. don't be afraid of starting the painting, because you are the one making the brush strokes.
i started to realize that this fear that my DR wouldn't be what i wanted or expected, and it caused me to start holding back and forgetting my power; that i am in control.
2. i realized that it really isn't even our first time shifting, so i don't have to worry about "shifting to the wrong place for my first time". (once again, my beliefs so take it with a grain of salt. open to hearing other opinions, if you view this differently)
shifting is natural to us. it is innate. every moment we are shifting. every breath, every blink, down to the smallest atom to the biggest wave. when people say that you are always shifting, (imo) you are. we just don't think it because we experience it as regular ol' time. its so smooth and natural to us that we tend to view the passing of time as the baseline and shifting as different, as if we have to do something to activate it. but shifting is part of us. it's something we're always doing, not something forced.
so we have already shifted and we will continue to do so.
"oh, but i meant to my DR, not just me blinking or my day-to-day."
truly, why should that be any different? i think we expect it to because we're looking at shifting through the perspective of time, as if its like this big jump because the shifts in our day-to-day run so smoothly, but you're just as likely to be in your desired reality as you are in your current reality.
at least, that's my perspective. i won't delve too deep into that, because there's so much there and even then i wouldn't fully understand.
but the point is to take shifting off this pedestal for me, stopping it from being this "unattainable" separate thing, and decentering this idea that i'd need to a billion things to shift. that, and reminding myself that i don't have to view it as my first shift, because shifting is innate. there is no perfect "first" DR i have to live up to, there is no need to live up to this imaginary expectation.
i can just shift. and i can go from there.
happy shifting, with love,
thecongeriesofme