thecraftymaniac @thecraftymaniac - Tumblr Blog

ripcstiaalisonsselena-deactivat

“Anna for you to sit here & call Trump a racist is outrageous"

“well lemme do it again and lemme do it in two languages”

SHE ENDED HIM 💀💀

holyromanhomo

[Murders you on national television in Spanish]

demisatyr

haelroyale-deactivated20190717

I’m the guy in the middle smiling when she said it in Spanish 😂

que-mystery

“Es un racista” 😩😩🙌🏽🙌🏽👏🏽👏🏽

pig-demon

PUÑETA DALE DUROOOOOO.

puckingfussy

God, I love this so much

burgrs1994-deactivated20151224

kinda pissed about not being a mermaid

thequotejournals

I know you’ve heard it a thousand times before. But it’s true – hard work pays off. If you want to be good, you have to practice, practice, practice. If you don’t love something, then don’t do it.

Ray Bradbury (via thequotejournals)

gin-draws

“Sirius,

Guess who cried their way out of a Halloween costume.

See You Soon, James”

sleepbby

reading is so good for your soul. i could spend years and years and years just reading book after book while my hair grows to my ankles and my mind grows more pure and more beautiful with every page, my soul more complete with every word. books are food for the soul

seedy

does anyone else ever get kinda jealous of their friends’ success because it reminds you what a failure you are

stardustinoureyes

YOU ALL LISTEN UP. ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSONS I’VE EVER BEEN TAUGHT HAPPENED IN MY ACTING I CLASS. IT IS A RULE AMONG ACTORS THAT ONE PERSON’S SUCCESS DOES NOT EQUAL YOUR FAILURE. LET ME REPEAT THAT SHIT. YOUR FRIEND’S SUCCESS DOES NOT EQUAL YOUR FAILURE. TAKE THAT IN. SOMEONE ELSE’S SUCCES DOES NOT EQUAL YOUR FAILURE. just because your friend is having a great time and being all successful doesn’t mean that you’re a failure. everybody is different. everybody will take different paths. it took me a LONG ass time before I figured out what this meant and how to apply it to my life. like I spent HOURS crying and meditating and just living before I finally figured it the fuck out and sometimes I still fuck up and let other people’s success define my own until I remember this rule and KNOCK IT THE FUCK OUT. SOMEONE ELSE’S SUCCESS DOES NOT EQUAL YOUR FAILURE.

bookmania

Escape is never further than the nearest book.

David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas (via teacoffeebooks)

mjwatsonparker

“You’re lookin’ great, M.J.-really great!”

“So, what else is new?”

sixofkazes

@rebelspyprincex

itsarthistory

Pompeii, Italy, province of Naples, Campania

sparkitors

If there’s anything we’ve learned about Alexander Hamilton from one whole year of rap battles and choreographed dance numbers, it’s that he had a lot to say. In fact, the man was so voluble that I’m surprised he doesn’t rise from the grave every time anyone anywhere expresses an opinion just so he can give us his Thoughts on the Subject.

Last time we did this, we condensed the entire hours-long musical into just a few texts. Now we’re focusing on the ten-dollar Founding Father himself, because if you don’t think Hams would’ve triple-texted with impunity, then you can get out of my face.—Elodie

foreverlostinliterature

Boundless, by Yummei

katswenski

“The Prestige” (Bonus Panel) My Website – Facebook Page

valjestering

things my impossibly young looking Roman history lecturer has said

‘listen to your seminar tutors over the booklet, but only for seminars - in lectures i am king. unless you have me as a seminar tutor as well, in which case i am your king and god.’

‘has anybody played Rome: Total War? no?’

‘Cataline tried to burn the city and everyone he hated but he failed because, in short, nobody liked him.’

‘the mediterranean diet didn’t include tomatoes in the ancient world. i know. oh my god. i know.’

‘so of course when Hannibal turns up, the senate goes ‘sod it, lets kick his arse’.’

‘one man’s optimates is another man’s silver-spoon bearing prick.’

‘we don’t have much information about the 70s BC, largely because Plutarch doesn’t care.’

‘i’m not saying Rome: Total War is entirely accurate, but its battle campaigns are surprisingly historically informed.’

[hand drawing a map in chalk because the projector is broken] ‘i’ll give it a go, this is why i hate technology, and oh. well. that’s not italy.’

‘every army needs bakers and prostitutes, this is just a fact of life.’

‘Sulla. He’s a bit of a badass, but also a bit of a prick.’

‘yes, that is a slide from Spartacus. The film, not the series, which is more accurate and less like soft porn.’

valjestering

‘the Romans liked Campania because its very fertile. they didn’t know this was because of its proximity to a volcano - poor buggers found THAT out later.’

‘Crassus gets given command of Syria and high fives everyone in the senate.’

‘Catullus was very pithy, very hellenistic in style. unlike the Iliad, which is 24 books of tedium.’

‘An Afternoon at Carrhae: the Romans being shot at repeatedly by Parthian cavalry because if there’s one thing the Romans aren’t good at, it’s having a cavalry.’

‘It’s good to have fast legs in war. Caesar moves very fast, not unlike Napoleon. The Usain Bolt of ancient warfare. I’m not sure why I said that, it’s an atrocious analogy.’

‘Athens is the Edinburgh of the ancient world; it has nothing to offer but education and pretty buildings.’

‘Shout out to those of you who spent your teenage years playing Rome: Total War.Which is what I did.’

‘The senate go into a panic and they decide to flee Rome at dawn, but some idiot forgets the treasury. I know. Ridiculous.’

‘Again: don’t use elephants during warfare. They’re not as cool as they look. And given they’re now endangered, it’d just be mean.’

‘I had to use this meme, I’m sorry. You’re all aware of the one does not simply walk into mordor meme right? I’m sorry, we’ll move on.’

‘I put this photo in for dramatic effect but I realise that it’s just a field. I don’t know why people bother going to see battle sites, they’re all really boring. I saw bones once, they were quite interesting. But most battle sites: boring.’

‘Caesar doesn’t tell Rome anything while he’s away in Egypt for a year, so they have no idea Pompey’s dead. All they know is that Antony is being a pain in the ass, which is, in all honesty, not unusual for Antony.’

‘Caesar is very good at one liners. You always draft a pithy one liner before a battle so you have something to say when you win. You don’t want to win and then just be like ‘whoo, thank god for that.’’