So hi, everyone who has been following me for a while or has just enjoyed my short stories, I have something to say to all of you. I know I quit Tumblr last year due to personal reasons, but in these last couple of months I've explored myself sexually, intellectually and spiritually and I need to get this off my chest before I return to not posting here again.
I went from discovering wattpad at age 12 to writing my own stories on Tumblr (fully just erotic stuff), now I'm eighteen and I've had the chance to actually explore my sexuality in real life instead of living it out online where exists an influx of basically romanticised rape culture (Which I unknowingly have participated in.)
About 90% of fan fiction that has an erotic tone to it has a veeeery rapey undertone, and I do understand that people have kinks yada yada, I mean I am one of those people. I've been reading this type of media for 6 years now so trust me I know it's supposed to be empowered and freeing.
The truth is though, that for young girls who have probably never been taught well about sex and consent in the way that matters, this is a very very bad thing. Reading these stories, however innocent it might seem, is building into the idea that sex is supposed to be sort of wrong to be interesting, and that very enthusiastic consent isn't as important as it is.
What this leads to is young women, who have been now brought up on toxic stories online, implementing these stories into their lives when they start to explore their sexuality in the real world. Men salivate at the thought of preying on these girls. I fucking know.
I've let guys do things to me that I wasn't comfortable with because what I read and saw online from a young age has literally changed how my brain works and how I view sex and sexuality and I never fucking learned that if it doesn't feel like a hell yes to you, it's a hell no.
Now, I know there's not much I can do about how other people consume media and what kind of media gets put out there, but I never want to be the reason that a young girl gets home from what was supposed to be a fun date and feels disgusted with herself because she didn't know when to say no. I know what it feels like, I know it's confusing. I'm not promoting purity culture, fuck who you like. What I want to say is, please explore what you like and who you are outside of internet pornography that is painfully tainted by the patriarchy and never EVER think that enthusiastic consent is not mandatory. I know the kinky side of sexuality is way more normalised right now, but don't forget that vanilla stuff with consent is the baseline, and that years of being desensitised to such porn on the internet might have fucked with your head too.
All this to say I'm deleting every fan fiction I wrote, please think about what you consume and stay safe. I love you all.
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