King of NYC

I'm Jake. Yes, my dad is the super famous rockstar Theo Puckerman and yes, I am related to Noah Puckerman unfortunately. But none of that matters because one day I'll be bigger than both of them combined.

[thedancingjake-blog]

climbing-britt:

I have still yet to meet this Burger King, and don’t understand how he became king? Is there such a thing as Burger Land? I think he might be a big phony. I don’t know how it keeps happening, and I don’t trust find my iPhone because it’s probably a way for the aliens to track our every move. Lord Tubbington is allergic to electronics, at least to eating them, one time he ate a hit clips when I was a kid and it did not go over well. Thank you Jakey, you’re the best.

Me, too. But I think we’re both out of luck since he’s been discontinued since the late 2000s. If there was a place called Burger Land and their food didn’t totally suck, I think Burger King would go out of business pretty fast. If anything’s tracking our phones, it’d be the government. And the GG, but I haven’t heard from them in a while so maybe they gave up. As for the aliens...your iPhone should be safe. I hear they only probe crappy phones like Androids. Brit, I think all cats are allergic to eating anything that’s not meant for their digestive system. Speaking of LT, he’s not sick or anything like that right? Anything for you, Brittany.

[thedancingjake-blog]

Sometimes I forget who I am

[thedancingjake-blog]

climbing-britt:

You’re welcome, of course I’m sweet, if I wasn’t then you wouldn’t be dating me….well, other than my amazing skills in various departments. Oh, I went to the park and we started talking about animals, I told them my cat is an advanced animal because of his talents in cooking and they wanted to meet him. I didn’t think it was a big deal until their parents started yelling at me, which was beyond rude. Who wouldn’t want to meet Lord Tubbington?

And you being one of the greatest girls I know doesn’t hurt either. I still can’t believe you got yelled at. I mean I can, but I’m sure if you had the chance to explain, they probably wouldn’t have chewed you out like that. I actually had no idea Lord Tubbington could cook, but I guess you can add that onto the list of awesome things about him. Hopefully he doesn’t try to take over the world or anything.

[thedancingjake-blog]

Sometimes I forget who I am

[thedancingjake-blog]

scoutlynn:

You mean to tell me you’ve never been asked for autographs before?

The only autograph I’ve been asked for before now was my dad’s. As if I had better connections to him than they did when he was trapped in rehab. Why do you sound so surprised?

[thedancingjake-blog]

TEXT ✉️ RYDER

Ryder: No I know for a fact I would not have gone to an Ivy if we hadn't moved out here. I mean who knows if I would have even found out about the dyslexia if we hadn't moved out here. You can be humble without having to switch lives with me. You just gotta stay grounded.

Ryder: /If/ we leave the state I'm torn between Vegas and Miami. But we gotta figure this out soon, Sam and I are going to Comic Con in San Diego this weekend and then the next I'm going back home.

Jake: I'm calling BS. You would've found your way somehow. Even if you had to do some weird, sketchy stuff on the side. Your dyslexia would've been discovered no matter what life you had. But depending on how you look at things, you could've found out sooner than later. You know me better than anyone out here. Staying grounded isn't my thing. Even if I wanted it to be.

Jake: Dude, you are a genius. I love you.

Jake: We'll just go to Cali and use geek fest as our cover.

[thedancingjake-blog]

climbing-britt:

I was trying to figure out why they were named Brookstone with no stones, it’s false advertising, I need them to help me not get lost when I go to the city since my cell phone keeps disappearing. I think he needs to go to his therapist, but he is refusing help and said it was just a phase.

Makes sense. Kind of like how I spent thirty minutes at a Burger King trying to find out why they don’t actually have a king made out of burgers. I was seven, but the memory still stings. I am sorry to hear you keep losing your phone, but I think I read somewhere that it happens to a lot of people this time of year. Did you check to see if your cat ate it yet? I’d keep  a close eye on this ‘phase’ of his. If you need to give him an intervention, you know I’m there.

[thedancingjake-blog]

Sometimes I forget who I am

[thedancingjake-blog]

climbing-britt:

Good thing you got them back to their mom safely, or else you would be a kidnapper and that doesn’t look good on anyone…no matter how good looking you are. Trust me, the one time I found two kids and kept them with me I got into a lot of trouble…

Thank you, Brit, for that strange but very sweet compliment. But you’re right, being a kidnapper would probably not look good for me right now. Okay, I have to ask. How did you find kids and manage to keep them long enough to get in trouble?

[itszanecarter-deactivated202012]

I just spent 3 hours inside of a Brookstone only to find out they don’t sell any stones there…..talk about false advertising, besides that I finally figured out my password to all of my social medias again. I blame Lord Tubbington for hacking into my computer, but at the same time I have to be impressed by his amazing technology skills.

[thedancingjake-blog]

I was wondering where you disappeared off to. No idea what you need stones for but I’m sure it’s important. If you want, we can go pick some up from a park or something later. And we can definitely do something about LT and his...hacking problems.

[thedancingjake-blog]

Sometimes I forget who I am

Kind of embarrassed that I didn’t know what to do when two kids ran up to hug me and ask for autographs. I signed their notebooks and all and made sure they got to their mom safely, but that was a little weird.

[thedancingjake-blog]

TEXT ✉️ RYDER

Ryder: Still no. I loved the way I grew up. Being normal like that is great, you don't have so many responsibilities and people aren't always watching you. But honestly, I don't know where I would be right now if we hadn't gotten rich. I mean I know who I am but it's just given me opportunities I wouldn't have gotten if we stayed middle class.

Ryder: Shut up.

Ryder: Duke is probably capable of killing me. I think it's a fair trade. You don't even have to talk to them, just pretend they're not there.

Ryder: Not Jersey.

Jake: You'd probably the exactly where you are now without having to wait so long. Dude, that's why I'm so jealous. You're so humble all the time.

Jake: Not that you're dumb or anything it's just I usually have to explain all my jokes.

Jake: Fine. Whatever you want, Lynn.

Jake: If we're leaving the state, I vote for Miami. Even though it's like balls hot down there right now.

[thedancingjake-blog]

the-ryderlynn replied to your photo “INSTAGRAM: @thedancingjake uploaded a new photo: Hungry like the..."

schveet man, when did you get a tattoo?

A couple of weeks ago and before you ask, yes, it hurt. A lot. Does it look okay? Totally lied when I said no regrets.

[thedancingjake-blog]

TEXT ✉️ RYDER

Ryder: I just wouldn't wanna give up my family and friends. Why would you want to switch lives?

Ryder: LOL, it actually took me a moment to get that.

Ryder: Alright well Dukes coming so if I have to deal with a guy who more than likely has it out for me, you can play nice with Seb and Hunter for a night.

Ryder: Hunter won't even step foot in Brooklyn, you think he's going to want to go all the way out to Jersey?

Jake: What if you were able to keep your family but not friends? I don't mean to sound like a cliche, but I always wondered what it would be like to have a normal life. And yours sucks the least.

Jake: It took me like a minute to come up with it. Thank God I didn't have to explain myself.

Jake: That's not even fair. Two against one verses one against one.

Jake: That sounds like a problem for someone who wants him to be there. :)

[thedancingjake-blog]

↳ INSTAGRAM: @thedancingjake uploaded a new photo:

Hungry like the 🐺 #noragrets #beast

↳ 3K LIKES, 800 COMMENTS:

load more comments

[thedancingjake-blog]

TEXT ✉️ RYDER

Ryder: Honestly, no I wouldn't trade lives.

Ryder: I'm not freaked, I'm just thinking logically. Just don't give him enough to kill him.

Ryder: Well I want him to come. Why don't you like him?

Ryder: No cameras is a plus but on the downside...Jersey..

Jake: And why not? I'd trade lives with you in a second.

Jake: Your sister's honor, I will not kill Mason McCarthy.

Jake: I have a thing against uppity douchebags. Smythe and his not boyfriend are in the sane boat for me.

Jake: And it's going to be harder to hide this thing if we all get spotted in Jersey together. But it's slightly better than sticking closer to home.

[thedancingjake-blog]

TEXT ✉️ RYDER

Ryder: Like complete lives, just childhoods, or like just now?

Ryder: You don't think she'd kill for her brother? Cause I'd kill for Scout and she's just my little sister, it might be even more intense of a bond with twins.

Ryder: Really? Cause when we texted he was down. What did you say to him?

Ryder: Atlantic City. You wanna go to the armpit of America for guy's night?

Jake: Obviously not now. But from start to up until the GG started up. All pros and cons.

Jake: With how freaked you are, I wouldn't be surprised. But we're just giving him alcohol. He won't die. I'll take full responsibility if he does.

[Typing and retyping]

Jake: I told him the plan. He said he felt unwanted and I never corrected him.

Jake: Puck suggested it. Said there would be no cameras.

[thedancingjake-blog]

TEXT ✉️ RYDER

Ryder: C'mon he's your dad, he loves you no matter what. He's just got a different way of showing it.

Ryder: Honestly I don't know how some of you guys grew up like this. All the money around and stuff and just rumors and lies all the time.

Ryder: You're delusional if you think Madison McCarthy is harmless.

Ryder: If she wasn't the one plunging a knife into you, I'm sure she'd get Hunter to do it now that they're a thing.

Jake: Maybe you're right. But I'll believe it when I see it.

Jake: Can't say it wasn't nice to be rich by default. The rumors and lies I could've done without but it's just how life had to be. If you had to pick, would you switch lives with me?

Jake: She might be a little...intense but she can't be that bad.

Jake: I don't know who I feel worse for.

Jake: Speaking of Hunter, he's out of the trip thank God. And Pick suggested Atlantic City for the guy's night.

[thedancingjake-blog]

flawlessfrannie:

Yes, it’s good to stay in numbers. I am pretty sane, despite what you might hear. I get it - I’m the same way. You don’t think so? I’m sure there are worse labels than that. I wouldn’t consider it such a bad thing. It just means you’re… persuasive. Well, thank you. That’s very kind of you to say. It’s hard to tell when someone is being genuine or not. But I appreciate that. I definitely know that feeling… not recently, of course, but still. You’re happy though, right? Well, it’s okay. At least it’s not a mood toward you. That can be scary. Hmm, I think I’ll keep it my secret for now, and things have come to a boil. Thank you for even offering though. I will remember that.

Lucky for you, I believe what I see over what I hear. My dad always said the eyes never lie. I won’t say it’s not a good thing to have, but the way people use the word when they talk about it is...not so good. I do appreciate you making me feel better, though. I’m not saying I’m the only guy in the UES who will tell it to you straight, but I’m probably in the top five. So you can expect nothing but the truth from me when asked. Usually. We’re good. And as far as I know happy so yes. See now part of me wants to get you in a mood just to see how scary. But I’m smart and a little scared to see that side of you so I’ll just hope I never have to. If you say so. Just know that if you ever get bored of having secrets, I’m here for you.

[thedukewildebrand-blog]

If there’s one thing you can be sure of, it’s that work doesn’t know the meaning of the word holiday. If people can’t take a hint that I’m not available to come into the office or to skype into a conference call, that’s their problem. Work hard and play hard.

[thedancingjake-blog]

Yet another reason I’m thankful I don’t have to deal with all that business crap everyone else does. I’d ask if you were enjoying your vacation, but I feel like you haven’t really gotten to enjoy it like you should.