I have always marveled at the day
that can start off well, filling
suddenly flipping itself into the worse
I feel like I have forgotten something
important, not my keys or wallet,
which are indeed lost often enough,
but an emotion, or maybe a word or phrase
perhaps a limb or digit -- a small toe
left in one of the socks that litter the floor.
I exist in this void of absence for hours
not minding it all that much
(or maybe I never noticed) as the wind whips
through the trees outside my window --
the world is falling apart around me (that, too
I don't find so disarming, strangely).
We will crumble into nothing with all the
socks and keys and wallets unfound.
But as the wind dies down, its as if I am
suddenly snapped back into my own being. I am
forced to sit with the conscious awareness of
this feeling that something is lost or floundering
that I must search it out to be saved.
I look around and wonder if a black hole
has swallowed me or if death has seized me
and this is my hell; I wonder, as I often did as a child,
if the rapture has come, and I have been left here
only now noticing this absence...observing this
silence of what my heart craves, until I begin to cry
softly, then loudly until I am finally weeping, as if widowed
because in this howling and confusion,
I have found myself lacking...
lacking the power to console myself with angels.
-The dangermonkey and the real girl behind that name copyright 2/20/14
titsay
romaincrisis
snowghoul
janainaart
