The Dating Games

May the dates be ever in your favor.

[thedating-games]

You're So Vain - Brooklyn

Let's discuss the GIANT neon colored elephant in the room about online dating: First Impressions and What's You Should Be Taking From Them. 

I still cannot figure out if I feel like a horrible person while I am perusing the depths of online dating. Let's take Tinder: the first thing you are asked to do is swipe left or right. Fantastic. So based on a picture- and the occasional sentence or two, I am supposed to make a decision on this human being. And I do it gladly. Choosing the guys, who are, in my opinion and with limited information, my type. 

Now, my dating record (or lack thereof) does not indicate I have a type. But I like to think it is based on my personality- I'm athletic, I'd like an athletic guy- I like to think I don't break mirrors when I look in them, I'd like a guy to be the same way -I'm not a hunter, don't really like guns- if a guys pictures all have him with multiple assault rifles, I'm going to swipe left. 

And the whole time I do it I feel so shallow. I mean, I'm not exactly a Megan Fox or Kim Kardashian myself. And I recently swiped right on a guy whose first picture wasn't entirely clear who he was, and the his other pics...I wasn't attracted to him. But he messaged me, and in the spirit of fully trying out online dating to the fullest, I messaged back. And we have been texting back and forth. 

Can you get a spark from messaging and from pictures? Because there is nothing here. Zero, Zip, Nada, Goose Egg. The conversations have been good, nothing great, usually me keeping the conversations going (a great conversationalist he is not). But the first impression, my vanity, and everything since is encouraging my pickiness. 

So, I'll continue with this guy, in the hopes of a diamond in the rough. But in the meantime, I'm going to try to look for some sparks. 

[thedating-games]

Protocols of Online Dating? - Sydney

Are there rules or protocols of online dating?

This question has popped into my head plenty of times over the past few days since signing up for Match and howaboutwe. For both sites, there have been instances where I would receive a notification that someone is intrigued in my date or is interested. No messages from said men. Just something that says, "Hey! So and so liked your profile. Send him a message." Uhhh, no thanks. If you're interested in someone for online dating, shouldn't you at least start a oconversation with them? Because I for one absolutely hate being the first one to reach out to the other person. I'm more apt to reply to messages versus starting the conversation. (Plus it's better for my ego.)

Maybe I'm just old fashioned and think that the guy should make the move first.

Another situation that popped into my head is regarding howaboutwe. I have a feeling that this site would really only work for "bigger" cities.  Since signing up on Wednesday, all profiles on the home page are the same. Same guy after guy after guy after guy. That's that only downfall for howabotuwe. (Plus, you have to pay to message.)

Alrighty... those are my thoughts on how Project Dating Games is going for me. Hopefully, it goes better for London (who has YET to post) and Brooklyn.

Sydney out.

[thedating-games]

You're Hot and You're Cold - Brooklyn

So yesterday marked my triumphant return to the online dating world. And I have thoughts about it- many thoughts- many wonderfully cynical and unbelieving thoughts.. But- due to my ability to be longwinded  detailed- I am going to focus on one thing for now: Tinder messaging- because hey that was my night- and boy was it interesting. 

Let's break this down. I started up Tinder yesterday evening and after a couple hours and a lot of swipes, I began to get messages. Now a plus/minus to Tinder is that you really don't know much about people when you match with them- so you can't really judge if people are flat out not your type or are. Instead, I decided to respond to all of the messages I got- about 7-8. 

Most conversations go something like

Boy: Hi, how are you?

Me: Just peachy keen, how are you?

Blah, blah, blah basic get to know you stuff. Maybe 20 questions or talking about random things in common. After getting to know the person, maybe putting some flirting or jokes into the conversation. Maybe. (Caveat: I am not good at flirting. I go for jokes instead of flirty banter. Ruins the rhythm, but hey, it's my personality.)

And why would I be mentioning this- you may wonder. For the obvious reason that someone broke all of the rules of online chatting. Well, my rules. 

This guy- let's call him a bipolar sailor- starts off with hi, how ya doing? let's me answer, then comes back with- tickles you. 

Now let me say right here, right now- I am not the hookup type of girl. Not my thing, not my style. But I make it very, very clear to people who are trying to have a one night stand that I am not interested, including my bipolar sailor. He tells me that's not what he wants and we keep talking. But then he randomly- in the middle of a different conversation-does that type of thing again.

Which leads me to Brooklyn's #1 Rule to Meeting a Man: If he has major problems in a messaging conversation- those will translate to real life.

In my conversation last night my bipolar sailor was A) Needy- was wondering why I didn't beg him to stay on after he said he needed to leave, B) Bi Polar- Would go from talking about our likes/dislikes to telling me he wants to bite my ear to telling me he thinks girls are bitches and he doesn't trust them (I swear. I could not make this up.) to saying he wants to cuddle to telling me I should just leave because that's what I want to do and that's what all girls do. (I did at this point btw- I am not putting up with that shit.) 

It was an emotional roller coaster. Or kind of watching something bad happen, you feel like you should stop it, but it's really hard to interfere and you just kind of watch the implosion happen. 

Here's hoping that the other conversations go better.

-Brooklyn

[thedating-games]

We'll Start at the End of the Beginning - Sydney

So Brooklyn has introduced our little experiment. A slight change in the rules has occured... The three of us will all have one site in common so we can compare notes and give you guys, the readers, an even better review. We have all decided that we will use howaboutwe as the common site.

For the different sites, I will be using Match as my other online dating site. I'm a little excited to use this because I have a feeling that Match is a little more relationship and happily ever after esque. There's no good way of going about it, so we'll just dive right in.

Regarding howaboutwe - I actually have never heard about this site until Brooklyn brought it up as the site that she will be using. I'm equally as excited for this site as I am for match. Cause how bad could it be...? Right? It's not like guys will automatically suggest howaboutwe go back to my place, turn on a little Usher, and go nice and slow. (Is that still relevant in today's society?) It's seven o'clock on the dot, I'm in my drop-top, cruising the streets....

Stick with us and we'll be sure to give you a fun and hopeful ride through our love lives.

Sydney out. 

[thedating-games]

Let's Start at the Very Beginning-Brooklyn

Hello all,

I'm Brooklyn and I am a proud and wary part-contributor to this blog. 

"What is this blog?" you may ask. So glad you asked, I'd love to answer. 

Here we have a blog with three lovely, intelligent, but yet terrible in relationships girls in their twenties ready to help with the Dos and Don'ts of dating. 

Because we are in a modern age and hip and down with technology, we are going to try our hand at various forms of online dating.

The idea goal? Meet Mr. Right

The more realistic goal? Figure out why dating is so hard and make it easier. 

How to start? Well each of us will be taking two different styles of online dating to try out. We have two weeks in which you are "supposed" to try to get at least one date from. Unless it blows. In which case, after you have given it two weeks, you write a post detailing why dating on site X sucks. In the meantime, we compare the two sites, what works, what doesn't. If the website doesn't bomb, we will stick with it a bit longer and see how it goes. 

To start off, my two sites are Tindr and Howaboutwe. 

Now, let's start with the elephant in the room. Tindr. I'm telling you right now, I'm not the hookup type of girl. So this is going to be somewhere between hilarious and painful. Unless something different happens from the last time I used it. (Hey weirder things have happened.)

Howaboutwe is one I'm actually excited for. The basic premise is that you suggest a type of date and you do it with someone. Great in concept- now let's see about reality. 

-Brooklyn