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@thediariesofadustbunny
✧✿Hello✿✧
I am back on my bullshit. So I will be interacting with punch of ed account's, and I know that some that have followed me might be in recovery, and this is where I encourage you to unfollow me. I don't want your time to be any harder than it is with seeing what I reblog. And I will say this I am not ready to recover myself and I hope you all understand.
I wish for you all the best life you can have
I feel like I'm not skinny enough to do anything
Couldn't get the tickets for a concert I wanted and my brain is like "it's because I'm fat isn't it"
I was somehow able to get the tickets after all and now I have to lose
Couldn't get the tickets for a concert I wanted and my brain is like "it's because I'm fat isn't it"
Went to school in-person for the first time this week and I took my breakfast (an apple) with me because I didn't have time to eat it at home.
Now as I have 4 hours until my next class and I am studying on my own I'm just looking at the apple.
I'm hungry I want to eat it but I can't bring myself to eat it in public.
i feel like such a wannarexic sometimes
I HAVE REACHED MY FIRST GOAL WEIGHT
( /^ω^)/♪♪
I think I am gonna try the IU diet for this week.
Don't know how well I will last because I usually get so bored of eating the same thing but let's see.
What it's like going to an 8:00 am with only a Celsius in my stomach and only 3 hours of sleep 🦄
Omg I ate so much my cals are probably around 1200ಥ‿ಥ but I feel like I won't have to eat anything else today. Now I have so much energy (wow food actually gives you energy) so I was talking super hyper with my mom and explaining everything I am doing. Luckily it's not that uncommon for me to be hyper coz I do have adhd. I should do school work coz I feel like I could get it easier done rn. Also trying not to purge rn coz that is often what I do when I eat a lot but I don't want a nose bleed and shit.
Also my weight has been the same for a couple of days so I hope this shocks my body in away and I can lose some weight ✨we hoping ✨
Omg I ate so much my cals are probably around 1200ಥ‿ಥ but I feel like I won't have to eat anything else today. Now I have so much energy (wow food actually gives you energy) so I was talking super hyper with my mom and explaining everything I am doing. Luckily it's not that uncommon for me to be hyper coz I do have adhd. I should do school work coz I feel like I could get it easier done rn. Also trying not to purge rn coz that is often what I do when I eat a lot but I don't want a nose bleed and shit.
My dumb ass thinking it's just another headache because I haven't eaten today it will go away. Now me laying in bed with a migraine taking over half of my head and making me feel sick.
I totally forgot that I get migraines.
i cant be fat for my birthday again thats just so embarrassing
I was able to do my liquid fast today. Almost had my boyfriend come over and I was scrambling in my head about how I will be able to not eat again this time around. Then he had an urgent thing come up so he didn't end up coming.
I was a bit upset not only that he wasn't able to come but because he never said he wasn't coming like clearly. So I was kinda expecting him to come over after he had everything sorted out but he didn't. But this meant I didn't have to worry about having to eat.
But ofc my head vent into a spiral about this that he was not coming over and that I wasn't fully sure about it. Because he said it like "the gods really don't want me to come over huh" but he never said he was not coming over.
And in my fucked up brain I couldn't ask him to make sure that was he coming or not because what if he gets mad at me for asking it. I know he wouldn't but it's just my over thinking brain. So in all that I ended up cutting myself again.
The fact that I know this was a completely stupid thing to be upset about and I could have fixed it so easily but I got so much anxiety even trying to write the text to ask if he was coming or not.
I should probably do a liquid fast tomorrow, because my mom and step-dad are coming over on sunday and they want to go eat or order in and everything.
So today was way over my cal0rie limit and I'm so annoyed at myself for it.
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
On the other hand I went on a walk outside where I ran for a while and then came across some stairs so I used some time to go up and down them. Everything else except the stairs were good because the stairs really irritated my fucked up knee.
┻━┻ミ＼(≧ﾛ≦＼)
Hopefully my knee will be okay when I go to my morning run tomorrow ｡◕‿◕｡
