Setting out on the journey ahead was at once disconcerting and relieving to Caradoc - disconcerting because of what, and who, he had left behind in Cair Paravel, and relieving because he was finally doing something about the approaching and ever-intensifying threat the usurper posed. It was decided, finally, that the real Peridan, as his head was not, in fact, the head revealed at the treaty signing, must be found. And, likewise, the Tree of Youth because if there was ever to be any accessible, any good, magic that might help the Pevensies - and Isla - it was perhaps there.
Caradoc hiked along the trail alone - knights and elves and keen adventurers passed at both his sides. He tried to forget about Tumnus behind him. It had been hours since they began their trek, and yet Tumnus had stayed well behind, almost purposefully.
At first, during their first few meetings since they’d fallen asleep with Theo, he figured Tumnus had still been reeling from the treaty fiasco. But his aloofness persisted. And when Caradoc had finally spoke with Theodora - after she confessed that she loved Tumnus too - he struggled every day to not shout the revelation. She loves you! he wanted to say, to grab him by the shoulders and - but he couldn’t. It was something Theo had to do, herself, when she was ready. Whenever that may be. He often looked at Tumnus for any change that maybe she had, looking with eyes that asked do you know, do you know, don’t you know yet?
The sun reached his eyes and he squinted, turning away. There was Tumnus, stopped and rummaging in his sack and frowning. Caradoc sighed. He turned back but slowed as a group of fauns passed from Tumnus and around him. He timed and waited until Tumnus was a few feet behind him.
The faun seemed oblivious as he reached Caradoc. The knight placed an a hand on his arm. He cleared his throat, “Quite an expedition ahead of us, huh.” Why have you ignored me so? “Didn’t forget anything, did you? Saw you uh, rummaging in your pack.”
A hand was suddenly warm against his arm. Tumnus glanced up and found that he was staring right into Caradoc’s eyes and their full blast of earnestness. He found himself hesitating, cursing his own, stupidly expressionistic face and the guilt that was clearly there. “Oh! Um...no, no I didn’t lose anything. Forget anything, I mean.” He smiled timidly and cleared his throat. “Just, ah, rearranging.”
He reminded himself that he was a great faun, and that he could handle this, the jealousy and longing both. And that he could handle it even if it was the first time he had spoken with Caradoc outside of strict work considerations in a terribly long time.
Tumnus had really missed him. He shouldered his pack and started walking, looking up at Caradoc against as he searched for something to say.
“It is quite the adventure that we’re on, isn’t it?”
