reasons i'm leaving tumblr/not coming on as much/not getting involved with anything other than occasional reblogging any more/why i generally dislike this website
this is super long i apologise but if this is gonna be my explanation and last post it's gotta be a good'un
i’m not saying i’m completely going forever and never going to ever log on again because chances are i probably will from time to time - i still enjoy getting to see all the new photos/gifs/videos etc of the bands and artists and actors and such i like, i just wish this was still a site where i could enjoy all that minus the bullshit.
i’ve hated a lot of stuff about this site for a while and i’ve kind of just come to the conclusion that it’s fucked up, judgemental, hypocritical, egotistical and does more bad than good. although most people have good intentions when it comes to issues like self harm, anxiety, eating disorders and then things like sexism, rape, homophobia and racism; the way in which people go about talking about and ‘raising awareness’ of stuff like this is!! not!!! constructive!!!!
ok so as an example the subject of body image and related issues - before i joined this site i was always quite shy in personality but never too concerned about my image, but whilst trying to tell me that ‘everyone is beautiful no matter what’ tumblr has actually only bombarded me with things to worry about regarding my image that i’d probably never have cared about before. do girls actually go round talking and thinking about thigh gaps? I’d never even fucking heard of the idea of a thigh gap before but it’s constantly brought up on this website and even though most people are saying it shouldn’t matter all you’re actually doing is drawing attention to the one thing you want people to ignore. same with so many other weight issues. i don’t think i’m overweight and never have, but unlike before i am now way more conscious of how my legs and stomach look. someone once posted about how ugly their arms were because they had a lot of hair on their arms?? like ok fine if that’s what you think that’s ok!!! and it’s okay for you to post it!!! but that was just yet another thing that made me realise i didn’t want to be on a site which made me feel shitty about myself for things i’d never cared about before (i have dark hair and it’s really obvious everywhere lol ok)
self harm is something else that really pees me off about this site. i’ve never self harmed and thankfully have never seriously contemplated it but i have friends who i believe would categorically never have self harmed if they hadn’t come on this site to find so many posts about it, putting ideas in their head and instead of making them realise it isn’t a solution it actually just made them more comfortable with the idea of it. without meaning to this website romanticises self harm and mental illnesses. posting images of self harm with ‘supportive’ captions is never going to help anyone and also stops people from actually seeking help because they start to really believe they can actually get through it from going on a fucking website.
then there’s everything to do with feminism and lgbtq rights and such. anyone who knows me will know i’m a really strong supporter of lgbtq rights. but according to so many people on this site being heterosexual means my opinion doesn’t count and even though i’m actively trying to help they don’t think it’s valid. plus everyone says they care so much but when it comes down to it most people aren't actually that concerned eg when same sex marriage was made legal in the uk no one even cared on here
being a white heterosexual girl from a working/middle class background on this site you get made to feel guilty just for being you. i’m not in the slightest trying to say i have it bad compared to others but because, eg, i go to a grammar school and i want to go to a good uni and get a good job and i actually enjoy school and learning i ‘don’t understand the real world’. i literally hate anyone who says that just no ok nope
everyone is so angry with society on this site and on the whole i would agree with a lot of things people say about that, but instead of actually doing anything about it everyone just sits here complaining. feel strongly about feminism? go actually organise an event, join groups, fucking do something about it instead of making pointless posts on a site that will never change anything. plus people can be way too sensitive about stuff and i’m not gonna say anything specific because i don’t want to offend people but basically people take things too far and part of fighting for a better society is realising that not everything has to be such a major issue and you’ve got to have a thicker skin to get anywhere in life. some things are human nature. some things are ingrained in society (however bad the origins of such things may be) and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. in western society you feel so lost you just actually feel like you need to believe in something, but people can take it too far and because they’re only getting their opinions from this site (and then influencing young easily influenced people to feel the same when they’ve barely experienced life outside of school etc) they’re going from a viewpoint which would be good and open to narrow and not even respectable to the outside world.
that’s another thing as well like once people take a stance on an issue they kind of get on their high horses about it and that’s why i think this site is really egotistical. and quite often they’re actually right about what they’re saying but people feel put down in real life so whether they realise it or not they get cocky on this site when they think they know everything and are always right because it makes them feel better, but it just makes the ‘tumblr society’ just as shitty as the outside world. everyone is really stubborn and rude tbh and that’s not the kind of society i’d want any more than the one we currently have. also people are unreasonable and unrealistic and way too idealistic because let’s face it we’re still teenagers with v little experience of how stuff really goes down and everyone seems to like to forget that not everyone outside of this little world is horrible and hates women!! and hates gays!!! and wants to watch the world burn!!!!! maybe things aren’t being done because it’s harder than making posts on a shitty site to change the world and maybe more people need to actually be active in the causes they believe in to make a difference. prejudices and discrimination and stereotypes are created over hundreds of years and most people would want them to change but it’s probably gonna take hundreds of years to reverse them, and it’s not gonna happen if you just sit back angry and observe. the way to try and stop people judging others like people on this site isn’t to just be equally judgemental about them back. plus everyone is really contradictory because they find some stuff super offensive but then make insensitive jokes about other stuff themselves but of course because they don’t think it’s wrong it’s not an issue!!!
this website breeds hate, problems and borderline extremism. It’s no good isolating yourself on a website just because people are similar to you, because that’s how you get stuck in a hole you never get out of. I can honestly say I feel so much worse about myself since isolating myself with tumblr. I’m more self conscious and self deprecating and have lower self confidence and self esteem than ever before. my mum basically said to me the other day that if i really want to be happy i’ve got to start believing in myself and going out feeling confident if i want other people to believe in me and treat me like a real human being - and she’s right. it’s not easy but i’m pretty sure it’s 16482x harder when you spend all your time with people with equally low self esteem who seemingly have no desire to help themselves. i’m not trying to put any of you down because i’ve been exactly like you the past like 2 years but i’m starting to realise i’ve not only wasted time on this site that i could have spent doing work or having fun but i’ve also wasted the time i could have spent becoming a happier, healthier person. isolating yourself and spending time on a website which is essentially where lost teenage kids let loose all their hang ups is NOT HEALTHY!!!!!! i thought for so long putting all my problems out there with people who felt the same way would help but really it just lets those problems continue and thrive and with uni in a year’s time and my life ahead of me i don’t wanna feel like this any more because i can’t live like that.
if you’re all so fed up and angry with society do!! something!!!! i honestly believe some of you (not all of u a few of you are just ignorant egotistical little shits i’m not gonna lie and you need to grow up but you are slowly growing up so i’m gonna leave it at that again i don’t wanna offend individuals) are actually really intelligent and you could go far in life, and i know full well because i feel the same that you just lack the confidence to do so but it’s not too late, and it’s not hopeless!! put a lil more time into doing good in school, into getting a job, into going out a bit more, into whatever it is you know will really help you instead of time on tumblr. because i can pretty much guarantee that it’s not tumblr that will help you in the long run.
we all act like this is a place where everyone is accepted and we disagree with media and society and all the bad things in the world but really we’re just as bad as everyone else. we’re trying to combat all the shit in the world, but we’re just creating our own shitstorm and it’s a hell of a lot more judgemental and exclusive than any other social network i can think of. if there’s one thing i’ve learnt from being a part of something that claims to be free from the prejudices of society, it’s that the idea of some blogs on the internet free to say whatever they want will be accepting and forward thinking is ridiculous. if everyone stopped taking everything so seriously and this just returned to being a good place to waste some time and see some funny stuff i would happily come back but it's becoming like a fuckign debating society 24/7 and that to me is not relaxing
there are still a lot of things i love about this site - on the whole people are friendly on a personal basis, people have a good sense of humour, people have common interests with me and are super creative and funny with their posts about stuff i like. individually i’ll miss you all but as a community the cons are currently outweighing the pros and i’m done with that.
because i will miss some of you pretty please (especially if you’ve actually bothered to read all this wow high five) follow me on twitter and/or instagram and such, or add me on facebook (though i don't use it much)!! twitter is definitely the thing i use most and i’ll follow y’all back so yeah :~)
goodbye i guess!! i will be on again but just don't expect to see me as much as u currently have the joy of doing, and thankfully i don't have enough followers to (hopefully) get any shitty messages for this or equally for people to care but i do love u thnks fr th mmrs even tho they weren't so great <33
