Matty

[thejaymamazing]

Beast of Burden

Matt still hadn’t asked me out on an official date yet, but that was okay. I was really only kidding when I brought it up—we didn’t need a date to make things real between us. We wanted to be together, so we were together. It was hard finding the time to be together—alone—outside of work with our busy schedules, but we made it work. I just didn’t want him to feel like I was suffocating him too much.

Sprawled out on top of him on his couch, I giggled as I ran my hands through his curls to mess them up. It really annoyed him, but not really, so I was definitely having some fun. “Stop fussing,” I sighed playfully as I stretched his hair between my fingers, but after softened the blow by kissing his cheek a few times.

[thefreshmatt]

Nothing about the fact that she hadn’t ended things over text before suprised because I knew what kind of person she was, but I really wasn’t expecting her to come out and say she liked him. “Wow, okay.” I nodded and bit down a humorless chuckle. “Yeah, I see that now,” I thought aloud and sighed deeply.

Would I have felt better if she didn’t have someone else pretty recently? Yeah, but I hadn’t given her much of choice at the time so I couldn’t be mad about that. I had an issue with it being one of the reasons why she hadn’t blown him off yet, though. “Maybe you should take him up on the offer then,” I proposed casually.

[thejaymamazing]

I... I didn’t think it’d be a surprise that I had liked Ezra. I mean, we had a lot of fun together when we talked and danced at that nightclub in Hawaii, Matt knew that. He’d looked over at us every so often so I knew he could see me laughing and smiling a lot around Ezra. And obviously I liked him enough to go out on a date with him when we came back... Not sure why Matt sounded so offended, especially since I made it clear that it was in the past.

What was he implying? My eyes widened because there was no way I was going to go out on a date with him. If Matt and I weren’t together, then I’d consider it, but I’d never do that to Matt. It wasn’t fair to Ezra, either. His casual tone of voice is what really threw me off, and I was sure it was clear by the hurt expression on my features. “Matt, please. Listen to yourself.”

[thefreshmatt]

I figured she had enough fun with him to go out with him a second time, but I didn’t realize she liked him enough to actually tell me she liked him with a straight face. It just didn’t feel like it was in the past when Ezra didn’t know about us and still thought it was a good idea to ask her out on dates.

Feeling my frustration go down a few notches at the hurt look on her face, I took a moment to collect myself and think twice about whatever came out of my mouth next. “I don’t know, Jayma. If you want to end things in person that badly, why don’t you just get it over with?” I guess that was the point I was really trying to make. Was she just gonna keep going back and forth with him over text in the meantime?

[thejaymamazing]

Honestly, if Matt hadn’t ever told me about his feelings for me... I’d probably be dating Ezra right now, not him. Not that I would rather have that, because that wasn’t true at all. I’d choose Matt a million times over without a second thought, that was never a question. Nobody would ever make me as happy as Matt, and I’d never love anyone the way I loved him, but I knew I’d liked Ezra enough to have a good thing going with him.

But that didn’t matter now because Matt was the one for me, and we were finally able to be happy together as a real couple. From what he’d said earlier, I thought he meant that I should go out on a date with Ezra, which was offensive and hurtful. So when he clarified, or maybe changed his answer and made it sound better, who knows, I wasn’t as hurt. Yeah, that wasn’t a bad idea... It’d suck seeing his face as I broke the news to him, but I’d rather do that than ghost him. I’d been ghosted before and it was really shitty. “Yeah, maybe.”

[thefreshmatt]

It didn’t even matter now because things worked out and we were happy, but I knew how different the circumstances would be right now if I hadn’t spoken up when I did—very recently at that—so this was a little too close for comfort, despite the fact that I knew we both wanted the same things. I’d just rather him be out of the picture.

If had to meet up with him, I’d live. She could handle it whatever way she wanted and I had to respect that. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that...” I apologized sincerely when I saw how hurt she was and pressed my lips to her temple for a few moments. I needed to drug tested if I ever seriously suggested she even think about going out with someone else.

[thejaymamazing]

I avoided eye contact with him after his proposal a minute ago, although now I had moved off of him and was sitting at the edge of the couch. What he said really hurt, even though I was trying not to show it. I just wish he’d trust me instead of getting all caveman-y and jealous on me. I’d never do anything to purposefully upset him, so it kind of felt like he thought little of me in that regard and I didn’t like it.

Pursing my lips together when he kissed my forehead, I nodded but stayed quiet. He was right, he shouldn’t have said it like that, but it was fine. After exhaling a sigh, I stood up and smoothed my clothes over once I caught sight of what time it was. It was almost time to get back to work, and I was kind of glad to focus my mind on something else.

[thefreshmatt]

My whole being kind of deflated when she moved away, but I actually couldn’t blame her. I can’t believe I got worked up like that. Then again, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get jealous easily. Now I just felt bad about it. Giving her some space after she nodded, I sat up next to her and rested my arms on my thighs.

Quietly, I glanced up at her as she stood, and even though I knew she had to get back to work, it still bummed me out, but I understood why she wasn’t too pleased with me. Sighing quietly, I bit down on my lip and broke the silence. “I’ll see you later,” I said a little dismally. I hoped we see each other, anyway.

[thejaymamazing]

Beast of Burden

Matt still hadn’t asked me out on an official date yet, but that was okay. I was really only kidding when I brought it up—we didn’t need a date to make things real between us. We wanted to be together, so we were together. It was hard finding the time to be together—alone—outside of work with our busy schedules, but we made it work. I just didn’t want him to feel like I was suffocating him too much.

Sprawled out on top of him on his couch, I giggled as I ran my hands through his curls to mess them up. It really annoyed him, but not really, so I was definitely having some fun. “Stop fussing,” I sighed playfully as I stretched his hair between my fingers, but after softened the blow by kissing his cheek a few times.

[thefreshmatt]

Nothing about the fact that she hadn’t ended things over text before suprised because I knew what kind of person she was, but I really wasn’t expecting her to come out and say she liked him. “Wow, okay.” I nodded and bit down a humorless chuckle. “Yeah, I see that now,” I thought aloud and sighed deeply.

Would I have felt better if she didn’t have someone else pretty recently? Yeah, but I hadn’t given her much of choice at the time so I couldn’t be mad about that. I had an issue with it being one of the reasons why she hadn’t blown him off yet, though. “Maybe you should take him up on the offer then,” I proposed casually.

[thejaymamazing]

I... I didn’t think it’d be a surprise that I had liked Ezra. I mean, we had a lot of fun together when we talked and danced at that nightclub in Hawaii, Matt knew that. He’d looked over at us every so often so I knew he could see me laughing and smiling a lot around Ezra. And obviously I liked him enough to go out on a date with him when we came back... Not sure why Matt sounded so offended, especially since I made it clear that it was in the past.

What was he implying? My eyes widened because there was no way I was going to go out on a date with him. If Matt and I weren’t together, then I’d consider it, but I’d never do that to Matt. It wasn’t fair to Ezra, either. His casual tone of voice is what really threw me off, and I was sure it was clear by the hurt expression on my features. “Matt, please. Listen to yourself.”

[thefreshmatt]

I figured she had enough fun with him to go out with him a second time, but I didn’t realize she liked him enough to actually tell me she liked him with a straight face. It just didn’t feel like it was in the past when Ezra didn’t know about us and still thought it was a good idea to ask her out on dates.

Feeling my frustration go down a few notches at the hurt look on her face, I took a moment to collect myself and think twice about whatever came out of my mouth next. “I don’t know, Jayma. If you want to end things in person that badly, why don’t you just get it over with?” I guess that was the point I was really trying to make. Was she just gonna keep going back and forth with him over text in the meantime?

[thejaymamazing]

Honestly, if Matt hadn’t ever told me about his feelings for me... I’d probably be dating Ezra right now, not him. Not that I would rather have that, because that wasn’t true at all. I’d choose Matt a million times over without a second thought, that was never a question. Nobody would ever make me as happy as Matt, and I’d never love anyone the way I loved him, but I knew I’d liked Ezra enough to have a good thing going with him.

But that didn’t matter now because Matt was the one for me, and we were finally able to be happy together as a real couple. From what he’d said earlier, I thought he meant that I should go out on a date with Ezra, which was offensive and hurtful. So when he clarified, or maybe changed his answer and made it sound better, who knows, I wasn’t as hurt. Yeah, that wasn’t a bad idea... It’d suck seeing his face as I broke the news to him, but I’d rather do that than ghost him. I’d been ghosted before and it was really shitty. “Yeah, maybe.”

[thefreshmatt]

It didn’t even matter now because things worked out and we were happy, but I knew how different the circumstances would be right now if I hadn’t spoken up when I did—very recently at that—so this was a little too close for comfort, despite the fact that I knew we both wanted the same things. I’d just rather him be out of the picture.

If had to meet up with him, I’d live. She could handle it whatever way she wanted and I had to respect that. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that...” I apologized sincerely when I saw how hurt she was and pressed my lips to her temple for a few moments. I needed to drug tested if I ever seriously suggested she even think about going out with someone else.

[thejaymamazing]

Beast of Burden

Matt still hadn’t asked me out on an official date yet, but that was okay. I was really only kidding when I brought it up—we didn’t need a date to make things real between us. We wanted to be together, so we were together. It was hard finding the time to be together—alone—outside of work with our busy schedules, but we made it work. I just didn’t want him to feel like I was suffocating him too much.

Sprawled out on top of him on his couch, I giggled as I ran my hands through his curls to mess them up. It really annoyed him, but not really, so I was definitely having some fun. “Stop fussing,” I sighed playfully as I stretched his hair between my fingers, but after softened the blow by kissing his cheek a few times.

[thefreshmatt]

Nothing about the fact that she hadn’t ended things over text before suprised because I knew what kind of person she was, but I really wasn’t expecting her to come out and say she liked him. “Wow, okay.” I nodded and bit down a humorless chuckle. “Yeah, I see that now,” I thought aloud and sighed deeply.

Would I have felt better if she didn’t have someone else pretty recently? Yeah, but I hadn’t given her much of choice at the time so I couldn’t be mad about that. I had an issue with it being one of the reasons why she hadn’t blown him off yet, though. “Maybe you should take him up on the offer then,” I proposed casually.

[thejaymamazing]

I... I didn’t think it’d be a surprise that I had liked Ezra. I mean, we had a lot of fun together when we talked and danced at that nightclub in Hawaii, Matt knew that. He’d looked over at us every so often so I knew he could see me laughing and smiling a lot around Ezra. And obviously I liked him enough to go out on a date with him when we came back... Not sure why Matt sounded so offended, especially since I made it clear that it was in the past.

What was he implying? My eyes widened because there was no way I was going to go out on a date with him. If Matt and I weren’t together, then I’d consider it, but I’d never do that to Matt. It wasn’t fair to Ezra, either. His casual tone of voice is what really threw me off, and I was sure it was clear by the hurt expression on my features. “Matt, please. Listen to yourself.”

[thefreshmatt]

I figured she had enough fun with him to go out with him a second time, but I didn’t realize she liked him enough to actually tell me she liked him with a straight face. It just didn’t feel like it was in the past when Ezra didn’t know about us and still thought it was a good idea to ask her out on dates.

Feeling my frustration go down a few notches at the hurt look on her face, I took a moment to collect myself and think twice about whatever came out of my mouth next. “I don’t know, Jayma. If you want to end things in person that badly, why don’t you just get it over with?” I guess that was the point I was really trying to make. Was she just gonna keep going back and forth with him over text in the meantime?

[thejaymamazing]

Beast of Burden

Matt still hadn’t asked me out on an official date yet, but that was okay. I was really only kidding when I brought it up—we didn’t need a date to make things real between us. We wanted to be together, so we were together. It was hard finding the time to be together—alone—outside of work with our busy schedules, but we made it work. I just didn’t want him to feel like I was suffocating him too much.

Sprawled out on top of him on his couch, I giggled as I ran my hands through his curls to mess them up. It really annoyed him, but not really, so I was definitely having some fun. “Stop fussing,” I sighed playfully as I stretched his hair between my fingers, but after softened the blow by kissing his cheek a few times.

[thefreshmatt]

Nothing about the fact that she hadn’t ended things over text before suprised because I knew what kind of person she was, but I really wasn’t expecting her to come out and say she liked him. “Wow, okay.” I nodded and bit down a humorless chuckle. “Yeah, I see that now,” I thought aloud and sighed deeply.

Would I have felt better if she didn’t have someone else pretty recently? Yeah, but I hadn’t given her much of choice at the time so I couldn’t be mad about that. I had an issue with it being one of the reasons why she hadn’t blown him off yet, though. “Maybe you should take him up on the offer then,” I proposed casually.

[thejaymamazing]

Beast of Burden

Matt still hadn’t asked me out on an official date yet, but that was okay. I was really only kidding when I brought it up—we didn’t need a date to make things real between us. We wanted to be together, so we were together. It was hard finding the time to be together—alone—outside of work with our busy schedules, but we made it work. I just didn’t want him to feel like I was suffocating him too much.

Sprawled out on top of him on his couch, I giggled as I ran my hands through his curls to mess them up. It really annoyed him, but not really, so I was definitely having some fun. “Stop fussing,” I sighed playfully as I stretched his hair between my fingers, but after softened the blow by kissing his cheek a few times.

[thefreshmatt]

As fast as we turned things around, it didn’t feel like too much at all. In reality, I felt good about the fact that it was exactly the way it was supposed to be, finally. I was waiting for a day that it didn’t feel shoed in for the sake of going on a date, but the weekend was looking pretty open, so hopefully she’d free. I was starting to have second thoughts about taking her out, though—didn’t want her messing with my hair the whole the time.

Just kidding, I was having a blast, even if she was going out of her way to annoy me a little. Lifting my arm from around her waist, I laughed as I reached for her hands yet again. I was not fussing. “Stop making my lotion go to waste. I need that,” I grumbled playfully as I managed to catch her lips with my own a few times.

[thejaymamazing]

Rolling my eyes, I sighed dramatically again and shook my head. I didn’t give up so easy on anything, nope. I was too stubborn for that, and besides, this was too much fun. I loved making him laugh, even if he did grumble at me like that. “For what, when you’re alone in your trailer?” I quipped without missing a beat, raising my eyebrows as I pushed his hands out of the way. “You have, like, three bottles at all times. You’ll survive.”

He almost distracted me with the kisses, almost, but I persevered. After straightening out a particularly pesky curl, I stuck my tongue out at him and broke out into a smile. I may have been a pain in the ass, but I was his favorite pain in the ass. There was no denying that, or at least I hoped so.

[thefreshmatt]

Oh, is that what she though? “You think I only need it for my trailer?” I quipped back just as easily with a soft smirk. Fortunately, I didn’t actually get that carried away when I was alone. Anyway, it was my turn to roll my eyes when she called me out for having three bottles, but only because she right.

Wow, she wouldn’t even stop after I gave her a bunch of sweet kisses. She should’ve been melting. Peering up as best as I could at that one particular strand of curl she tugged harder than the rest, I sighed a wide smile. “I’m trying to spend quality time with you and you’re making it really difficult.”

[thejaymamazing]

I knew he was just kidding (I think... I hope...) but I still glared at him anyway. Who needed lotion when you had a girlfriend? Especially one with a sex drive like mine? “You shouldn’t need it at all,” I groaned against his cheek, but I was only half serious. I was just pulling his leg, though. If I was his pain in the ass, then he was mine, and proudly so. There was no one I’d rather spend my time like this with.

Ah, there was that smile I loved so much. “You love it,” I retorted smugly with a grin so cute he wouldn’t be able to stand it. This was our quality time, unless there was something else he’d rather do. I had a feeling it’d involve a lot less clothing, and as fun as that would be, I didn’t feel like moving right now. Or, he could put some moves on me, but he wasn’t trying too hard.

[thefreshmatt]

She knew I was just messing around, right? Of course. I couldn’t help but agree with her, but not agree at the same time just to rile her up some more. “Yeah, tell me about it,” I complained jokingly as if the glare she already gave me wasn’t enough to make me think twice about it. It was good to know we had even more of a right to annoy each other now.

Before I could even consider telling her she was wrong, she gave that cute smile that made me melt. “I love you, so I guess I love it by default,” I replied cheekily before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. I actually didn’t care if we spent the rest of the evening like this. Maybe I just wanted lay here with her and watch some crappy television.

[thejaymamazing]

If it were up to me, we’d be at it like bunnies on crack. But noooo, he didn’t always want to have sex, which was like, mind blowing to me. Who wouldn’t want to get all up on this?! Kidding... sorta. After playfully huffing and rolling my eyes at him, I crossed my arms under my chin and gave him the sweetest smile. I loved teasing him, and it was even more fun now that we were together. It gave me all the time in the world to rile him up and it was great.

“You’re such a pain,” I crumbled against his lips like I didn’t think it was one of the greatest compliments he could give me. I knew how much he actually loved my sass and quick tongue, just like I loved his. After we kissed a few more times, I felt my phone buzz, and I was tempted to ignore it, but I almost never got texts that weren’t from Matt, so I took my phone out to read it. He couldn’t see it from his angle, which was probably a good thing since it was from Ezra. He wanted to know if he could take me out tonight... oh boy.

[thefreshmatt]

I still couldn’t believe she wanted to have sex more than me half the time. Or maybe we were evenly matched except I was the one with the most felt control. Honestly, though, that’s all our relationship had been for a long while, that I was kind of okay with taking a bit of a back seat, if you could call it that. It was different between us now, and I wanted it to feel that way.

“The door is right there, you know,” I mumbled back against her lips feigning seriousness and then pressed a few sweet kisses against them before she could say anything back. When she took her phone out—and I couldn’t for the life of me imagine why—I slid my hands down to hers hips and sat there patiently. “Anything important?” I asked after a little bit.

[thejaymamazing]

I’d tried to cool my jets when we were alone because sometimes—okay, a good amount of the time—Matt didn’t want to fool around. I understood why he didn’t, I think, and it was totally cool with me. Yeah, it kind of sucked when I wanted to do more than just kiss him and he didn’t want to, but I’d live. He’d just have to cut me some slack and stop being so hot in the meantime.

We didn’t have any rules about being on our phones around each other or anything, but the majority of the time, it was like we forgot we even had them when we spent time together. I was hardly ever on my phone to begin with, so it was easy for me to forget all about it around him. Anyway, I didn’t really want to tell him about the text I’d just gotten, but I didn’t want to lie to or keep anything from him either, so I hesitated for just a second before shaking my head. “Ezra wanted to know if I’d go out with him tonight.”

[thefreshmatt]

She was probably sick and tired of me keeping us from fooling around when we had the chance. As long as she knew that I was still fully capable of caving into how irresistible she was when she wanted me to most of the time. I didn’t care that she checked her phone, of course, it just always suprised me a little when it happened because we never seemed to find time to really look at them when we hung out.

“Oh, did he.” I shifted a bit underneath her and sighed quietly under my breath. I mean, that wasn’t her fault—she wouldn’t have known he was going to ask her out again. “Are you two still talking, or...” I was already trying to convince myself that it was fine if they were, because it’d be pretty unreasonable to think it was anything more than friendly, right?

[thejaymamazing]

That’s exactly why I didn’t really want to tell him... I’d liked Ezra, a lot actually, so I didn’t want to just ignore him completely. I wasn’t like that at all—I had always ended my previous relationships on good terms, even the more casual ones and flirtations. I thought disappearing out of nowhere was horrible, truth be told. I didn’t like the idea of ending things over text either, so even though Ezra and I had only ever gone out on an actual date once, I didn’t want to tell him I was dating someone over a text message.

Matt and I had only been together for a short while, so I hadn’t even had the chance to decide how to break things to Ezra. I think I was kind of hoping that things would fizzle out on their own, but nope. We exchanged texts every now and then, and while they’d always been strictly friendly, I had a feeling he wanted to actually date me. If I weren’t with Matt, I’d consider it, but I was happy with him. Uncomfortable with the conversation already, I nodded my head after a moment of debate because honesty was the best policy, right? “Sometimes, maybe once or twice a week. He almost always starts it.”

[thefreshmatt]

Ah. Seemed like he was really into her... fuck, I couldn’t even blame the guy. Ugh, I shouldn’t have even asked. It was like she was giving me a warning or something. I also didn’t want to make her feel bad about it either. I trusted her, like, a lot. Yeah, she’d take care of it.

“Tell him you’re busy,” I suggest calmly. Or she could just tell him she wasn’t insterested... that’d be less awkward than telling she was seeing someone else. I guess I understood why she hadn’t already. I wished it didn’t make me uncomfortable, though.

[thejaymamazing]

I could tell Ezra I was busy, but then he’d only suggest another time, and it’d be a little awkward. Yeah, I definitely didn’t want to let him know over text or even on the phone, I wanted to do it in person. If we didn’t have such a strong connection or didn’t have such a good time together the last time I saw him, it’d be a little easier to blow him off. But no, I didn’t want to do that. That wasn’t me.

Shrugging my shoulders noncommitally, I decided I didn’t want to talk about this with Matt anymore. I’d text Ezra back later, once Matt went to his dance rehearsal. Right now I just wanted to spend some time with Matt. Leaning down to peck his lips, I ran my fingers through his hair like he loved and gave him a small smile. “I love you.”

[thefreshmatt]

Furrowing my eyebrows when she shrugged and didn’t say anything, I got the impression she didn’t like that idea too much. I mean, it wasn’t like she was going to see him either way, so... After brushing my lips against hers, I rested my head back and met her gaze. “I love you, too,” I told her, no questions asked.

Eyeing her a little harder, I pursed my lips together softly. “You’re deflecting, though,” I pointed out after a moment. It just thought it was a little weird. Granted, she didn’t have to be honest with me in first place, but then, barely five seconds later, she was just sweeping it under it the rug.

[thejaymamazing]

Beast of Burden

Matt still hadn’t asked me out on an official date yet, but that was okay. I was really only kidding when I brought it up—we didn’t need a date to make things real between us. We wanted to be together, so we were together. It was hard finding the time to be together—alone—outside of work with our busy schedules, but we made it work. I just didn’t want him to feel like I was suffocating him too much.

Sprawled out on top of him on his couch, I giggled as I ran my hands through his curls to mess them up. It really annoyed him, but not really, so I was definitely having some fun. “Stop fussing,” I sighed playfully as I stretched his hair between my fingers, but after softened the blow by kissing his cheek a few times.

[thefreshmatt]

As fast as we turned things around, it didn’t feel like too much at all. In reality, I felt good about the fact that it was exactly the way it was supposed to be, finally. I was waiting for a day that it didn’t feel shoed in for the sake of going on a date, but the weekend was looking pretty open, so hopefully she’d free. I was starting to have second thoughts about taking her out, though—didn’t want her messing with my hair the whole the time.

Just kidding, I was having a blast, even if she was going out of her way to annoy me a little. Lifting my arm from around her waist, I laughed as I reached for her hands yet again. I was not fussing. “Stop making my lotion go to waste. I need that,” I grumbled playfully as I managed to catch her lips with my own a few times.

[thejaymamazing]

Rolling my eyes, I sighed dramatically again and shook my head. I didn’t give up so easy on anything, nope. I was too stubborn for that, and besides, this was too much fun. I loved making him laugh, even if he did grumble at me like that. “For what, when you’re alone in your trailer?” I quipped without missing a beat, raising my eyebrows as I pushed his hands out of the way. “You have, like, three bottles at all times. You’ll survive.”

He almost distracted me with the kisses, almost, but I persevered. After straightening out a particularly pesky curl, I stuck my tongue out at him and broke out into a smile. I may have been a pain in the ass, but I was his favorite pain in the ass. There was no denying that, or at least I hoped so.

[thefreshmatt]

Oh, is that what she though? “You think I only need it for my trailer?” I quipped back just as easily with a soft smirk. Fortunately, I didn’t actually get that carried away when I was alone. Anyway, it was my turn to roll my eyes when she called me out for having three bottles, but only because she right.

Wow, she wouldn’t even stop after I gave her a bunch of sweet kisses. She should’ve been melting. Peering up as best as I could at that one particular strand of curl she tugged harder than the rest, I sighed a wide smile. “I’m trying to spend quality time with you and you’re making it really difficult.”

[thejaymamazing]

I knew he was just kidding (I think... I hope...) but I still glared at him anyway. Who needed lotion when you had a girlfriend? Especially one with a sex drive like mine? “You shouldn’t need it at all,” I groaned against his cheek, but I was only half serious. I was just pulling his leg, though. If I was his pain in the ass, then he was mine, and proudly so. There was no one I’d rather spend my time like this with.

Ah, there was that smile I loved so much. “You love it,” I retorted smugly with a grin so cute he wouldn’t be able to stand it. This was our quality time, unless there was something else he’d rather do. I had a feeling it’d involve a lot less clothing, and as fun as that would be, I didn’t feel like moving right now. Or, he could put some moves on me, but he wasn’t trying too hard.

[thefreshmatt]

She knew I was just messing around, right? Of course. I couldn’t help but agree with her, but not agree at the same time just to rile her up some more. “Yeah, tell me about it,” I complained jokingly as if the glare she already gave me wasn’t enough to make me think twice about it. It was good to know we had even more of a right to annoy each other now.

Before I could even consider telling her she was wrong, she gave that cute smile that made me melt. “I love you, so I guess I love it by default,” I replied cheekily before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. I actually didn’t care if we spent the rest of the evening like this. Maybe I just wanted lay here with her and watch some crappy television.

[thejaymamazing]

If it were up to me, we’d be at it like bunnies on crack. But noooo, he didn’t always want to have sex, which was like, mind blowing to me. Who wouldn’t want to get all up on this?! Kidding... sorta. After playfully huffing and rolling my eyes at him, I crossed my arms under my chin and gave him the sweetest smile. I loved teasing him, and it was even more fun now that we were together. It gave me all the time in the world to rile him up and it was great.

“You’re such a pain,” I crumbled against his lips like I didn’t think it was one of the greatest compliments he could give me. I knew how much he actually loved my sass and quick tongue, just like I loved his. After we kissed a few more times, I felt my phone buzz, and I was tempted to ignore it, but I almost never got texts that weren’t from Matt, so I took my phone out to read it. He couldn’t see it from his angle, which was probably a good thing since it was from Ezra. He wanted to know if he could take me out tonight... oh boy.

[thefreshmatt]

I still couldn’t believe she wanted to have sex more than me half the time. Or maybe we were evenly matched except I was the one with the most felt control. Honestly, though, that’s all our relationship had been for a long while, that I was kind of okay with taking a bit of a back seat, if you could call it that. It was different between us now, and I wanted it to feel that way.

“The door is right there, you know,” I mumbled back against her lips feigning seriousness and then pressed a few sweet kisses against them before she could say anything back. When she took her phone out—and I couldn’t for the life of me imagine why—I slid my hands down to hers hips and sat there patiently. “Anything important?” I asked after a little bit.

[thejaymamazing]

I’d tried to cool my jets when we were alone because sometimes—okay, a good amount of the time—Matt didn’t want to fool around. I understood why he didn’t, I think, and it was totally cool with me. Yeah, it kind of sucked when I wanted to do more than just kiss him and he didn’t want to, but I’d live. He’d just have to cut me some slack and stop being so hot in the meantime.

We didn’t have any rules about being on our phones around each other or anything, but the majority of the time, it was like we forgot we even had them when we spent time together. I was hardly ever on my phone to begin with, so it was easy for me to forget all about it around him. Anyway, I didn’t really want to tell him about the text I’d just gotten, but I didn’t want to lie to or keep anything from him either, so I hesitated for just a second before shaking my head. “Ezra wanted to know if I’d go out with him tonight.”

[thefreshmatt]

She was probably sick and tired of me keeping us from fooling around when we had the chance. As long as she knew that I was still fully capable of caving into how irresistible she was when she wanted me to most of the time. I didn’t care that she checked her phone, of course, it just always suprised me a little when it happened because we never seemed to find time to really look at them when we hung out.

“Oh, did he.” I shifted a bit underneath her and sighed quietly under my breath. I mean, that wasn’t her fault—she wouldn’t have known he was going to ask her out again. “Are you two still talking, or...” I was already trying to convince myself that it was fine if they were, because it’d be pretty unreasonable to think it was anything more than friendly, right?

[thejaymamazing]

That’s exactly why I didn’t really want to tell him... I’d liked Ezra, a lot actually, so I didn’t want to just ignore him completely. I wasn’t like that at all—I had always ended my previous relationships on good terms, even the more casual ones and flirtations. I thought disappearing out of nowhere was horrible, truth be told. I didn’t like the idea of ending things over text either, so even though Ezra and I had only ever gone out on an actual date once, I didn’t want to tell him I was dating someone over a text message.

Matt and I had only been together for a short while, so I hadn’t even had the chance to decide how to break things to Ezra. I think I was kind of hoping that things would fizzle out on their own, but nope. We exchanged texts every now and then, and while they’d always been strictly friendly, I had a feeling he wanted to actually date me. If I weren’t with Matt, I’d consider it, but I was happy with him. Uncomfortable with the conversation already, I nodded my head after a moment of debate because honesty was the best policy, right? “Sometimes, maybe once or twice a week. He almost always starts it.”

[thefreshmatt]

Ah. Seemed like he was really into her... fuck, I couldn’t even blame the guy. Ugh, I shouldn’t have even asked. It was like she was giving me a warning or something. I also didn’t want to make her feel bad about it either. I trusted her, like, a lot. Yeah, she’d take care of it.

“Tell him you’re busy,” I suggest calmly. Or she could just tell him she wasn’t insterested... that’d be less awkward than telling she was seeing someone else. I guess I understood why she hadn’t already. I wished it didn’t make me uncomfortable, though.

[thejaymamazing]

Beast of Burden

Matt still hadn’t asked me out on an official date yet, but that was okay. I was really only kidding when I brought it up—we didn’t need a date to make things real between us. We wanted to be together, so we were together. It was hard finding the time to be together—alone—outside of work with our busy schedules, but we made it work. I just didn’t want him to feel like I was suffocating him too much.

Sprawled out on top of him on his couch, I giggled as I ran my hands through his curls to mess them up. It really annoyed him, but not really, so I was definitely having some fun. “Stop fussing,” I sighed playfully as I stretched his hair between my fingers, but after softened the blow by kissing his cheek a few times.

[thefreshmatt]

As fast as we turned things around, it didn’t feel like too much at all. In reality, I felt good about the fact that it was exactly the way it was supposed to be, finally. I was waiting for a day that it didn’t feel shoed in for the sake of going on a date, but the weekend was looking pretty open, so hopefully she’d free. I was starting to have second thoughts about taking her out, though—didn’t want her messing with my hair the whole the time.

Just kidding, I was having a blast, even if she was going out of her way to annoy me a little. Lifting my arm from around her waist, I laughed as I reached for her hands yet again. I was not fussing. “Stop making my lotion go to waste. I need that,” I grumbled playfully as I managed to catch her lips with my own a few times.

[thejaymamazing]

Rolling my eyes, I sighed dramatically again and shook my head. I didn’t give up so easy on anything, nope. I was too stubborn for that, and besides, this was too much fun. I loved making him laugh, even if he did grumble at me like that. “For what, when you’re alone in your trailer?” I quipped without missing a beat, raising my eyebrows as I pushed his hands out of the way. “You have, like, three bottles at all times. You’ll survive.”

He almost distracted me with the kisses, almost, but I persevered. After straightening out a particularly pesky curl, I stuck my tongue out at him and broke out into a smile. I may have been a pain in the ass, but I was his favorite pain in the ass. There was no denying that, or at least I hoped so.

[thefreshmatt]

Oh, is that what she though? “You think I only need it for my trailer?” I quipped back just as easily with a soft smirk. Fortunately, I didn’t actually get that carried away when I was alone. Anyway, it was my turn to roll my eyes when she called me out for having three bottles, but only because she right.

Wow, she wouldn’t even stop after I gave her a bunch of sweet kisses. She should’ve been melting. Peering up as best as I could at that one particular strand of curl she tugged harder than the rest, I sighed a wide smile. “I’m trying to spend quality time with you and you’re making it really difficult.”

[thejaymamazing]

I knew he was just kidding (I think... I hope...) but I still glared at him anyway. Who needed lotion when you had a girlfriend? Especially one with a sex drive like mine? “You shouldn’t need it at all,” I groaned against his cheek, but I was only half serious. I was just pulling his leg, though. If I was his pain in the ass, then he was mine, and proudly so. There was no one I’d rather spend my time like this with.

Ah, there was that smile I loved so much. “You love it,” I retorted smugly with a grin so cute he wouldn’t be able to stand it. This was our quality time, unless there was something else he’d rather do. I had a feeling it’d involve a lot less clothing, and as fun as that would be, I didn’t feel like moving right now. Or, he could put some moves on me, but he wasn’t trying too hard.

[thefreshmatt]

She knew I was just messing around, right? Of course. I couldn’t help but agree with her, but not agree at the same time just to rile her up some more. “Yeah, tell me about it,” I complained jokingly as if the glare she already gave me wasn’t enough to make me think twice about it. It was good to know we had even more of a right to annoy each other now.

Before I could even consider telling her she was wrong, she gave that cute smile that made me melt. “I love you, so I guess I love it by default,” I replied cheekily before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. I actually didn’t care if we spent the rest of the evening like this. Maybe I just wanted lay here with her and watch some crappy television.

[thejaymamazing]

If it were up to me, we’d be at it like bunnies on crack. But noooo, he didn’t always want to have sex, which was like, mind blowing to me. Who wouldn’t want to get all up on this?! Kidding... sorta. After playfully huffing and rolling my eyes at him, I crossed my arms under my chin and gave him the sweetest smile. I loved teasing him, and it was even more fun now that we were together. It gave me all the time in the world to rile him up and it was great.

“You’re such a pain,” I crumbled against his lips like I didn’t think it was one of the greatest compliments he could give me. I knew how much he actually loved my sass and quick tongue, just like I loved his. After we kissed a few more times, I felt my phone buzz, and I was tempted to ignore it, but I almost never got texts that weren’t from Matt, so I took my phone out to read it. He couldn’t see it from his angle, which was probably a good thing since it was from Ezra. He wanted to know if he could take me out tonight... oh boy.

[thefreshmatt]

I still couldn’t believe she wanted to have sex more than me half the time. Or maybe we were evenly matched except I was the one with the most felt control. Honestly, though, that’s all our relationship had been for a long while, that I was kind of okay with taking a bit of a back seat, if you could call it that. It was different between us now, and I wanted it to feel that way.

“The door is right there, you know,” I mumbled back against her lips feigning seriousness and then pressed a few sweet kisses against them before she could say anything back. When she took her phone out—and I couldn’t for the life of me imagine why—I slid my hands down to hers hips and sat there patiently. “Anything important?” I asked after a little bit.

[thejaymamazing]

I’d tried to cool my jets when we were alone because sometimes—okay, a good amount of the time—Matt didn’t want to fool around. I understood why he didn’t, I think, and it was totally cool with me. Yeah, it kind of sucked when I wanted to do more than just kiss him and he didn’t want to, but I’d live. He’d just have to cut me some slack and stop being so hot in the meantime.

We didn’t have any rules about being on our phones around each other or anything, but the majority of the time, it was like we forgot we even had them when we spent time together. I was hardly ever on my phone to begin with, so it was easy for me to forget all about it around him. Anyway, I didn’t really want to tell him about the text I’d just gotten, but I didn’t want to lie to or keep anything from him either, so I hesitated for just a second before shaking my head. “Ezra wanted to know if I’d go out with him tonight.”

[thefreshmatt]

She was probably sick and tired of me keeping us from fooling around when we had the chance. As long as she knew that I was still fully capable of caving into how irresistible she was when she wanted me to most of the time. I didn’t care that she checked her phone, of course, it just always suprised me a little when it happened because we never seemed to find time to really look at them when we hung out.

“Oh, did he.” I shifted a bit underneath her and sighed quietly under my breath. I mean, that wasn’t her fault—she wouldn’t have known he was going to ask her out again. “Are you two still talking, or...” I was already trying to convince myself that it was fine if they were, because it’d be pretty unreasonable to think it was anything more than friendly, right?

[thejaymamazing]

Beast of Burden

Matt still hadn’t asked me out on an official date yet, but that was okay. I was really only kidding when I brought it up—we didn’t need a date to make things real between us. We wanted to be together, so we were together. It was hard finding the time to be together—alone—outside of work with our busy schedules, but we made it work. I just didn’t want him to feel like I was suffocating him too much.

Sprawled out on top of him on his couch, I giggled as I ran my hands through his curls to mess them up. It really annoyed him, but not really, so I was definitely having some fun. “Stop fussing,” I sighed playfully as I stretched his hair between my fingers, but after softened the blow by kissing his cheek a few times.

[thefreshmatt]

As fast as we turned things around, it didn’t feel like too much at all. In reality, I felt good about the fact that it was exactly the way it was supposed to be, finally. I was waiting for a day that it didn’t feel shoed in for the sake of going on a date, but the weekend was looking pretty open, so hopefully she’d free. I was starting to have second thoughts about taking her out, though—didn’t want her messing with my hair the whole the time.

Just kidding, I was having a blast, even if she was going out of her way to annoy me a little. Lifting my arm from around her waist, I laughed as I reached for her hands yet again. I was not fussing. “Stop making my lotion go to waste. I need that,” I grumbled playfully as I managed to catch her lips with my own a few times.

[thejaymamazing]

Rolling my eyes, I sighed dramatically again and shook my head. I didn’t give up so easy on anything, nope. I was too stubborn for that, and besides, this was too much fun. I loved making him laugh, even if he did grumble at me like that. “For what, when you’re alone in your trailer?” I quipped without missing a beat, raising my eyebrows as I pushed his hands out of the way. “You have, like, three bottles at all times. You’ll survive.”

He almost distracted me with the kisses, almost, but I persevered. After straightening out a particularly pesky curl, I stuck my tongue out at him and broke out into a smile. I may have been a pain in the ass, but I was his favorite pain in the ass. There was no denying that, or at least I hoped so.

[thefreshmatt]

Oh, is that what she though? “You think I only need it for my trailer?” I quipped back just as easily with a soft smirk. Fortunately, I didn’t actually get that carried away when I was alone. Anyway, it was my turn to roll my eyes when she called me out for having three bottles, but only because she right.

Wow, she wouldn’t even stop after I gave her a bunch of sweet kisses. She should’ve been melting. Peering up as best as I could at that one particular strand of curl she tugged harder than the rest, I sighed a wide smile. “I’m trying to spend quality time with you and you’re making it really difficult.”

[thejaymamazing]

I knew he was just kidding (I think... I hope...) but I still glared at him anyway. Who needed lotion when you had a girlfriend? Especially one with a sex drive like mine? “You shouldn’t need it at all,” I groaned against his cheek, but I was only half serious. I was just pulling his leg, though. If I was his pain in the ass, then he was mine, and proudly so. There was no one I’d rather spend my time like this with.

Ah, there was that smile I loved so much. “You love it,” I retorted smugly with a grin so cute he wouldn’t be able to stand it. This was our quality time, unless there was something else he’d rather do. I had a feeling it’d involve a lot less clothing, and as fun as that would be, I didn’t feel like moving right now. Or, he could put some moves on me, but he wasn’t trying too hard.

[thefreshmatt]

She knew I was just messing around, right? Of course. I couldn’t help but agree with her, but not agree at the same time just to rile her up some more. “Yeah, tell me about it,” I complained jokingly as if the glare she already gave me wasn’t enough to make me think twice about it. It was good to know we had even more of a right to annoy each other now.

Before I could even consider telling her she was wrong, she gave that cute smile that made me melt. “I love you, so I guess I love it by default,” I replied cheekily before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. I actually didn’t care if we spent the rest of the evening like this. Maybe I just wanted lay here with her and watch some crappy television.

[thejaymamazing]

If it were up to me, we’d be at it like bunnies on crack. But noooo, he didn’t always want to have sex, which was like, mind blowing to me. Who wouldn’t want to get all up on this?! Kidding... sorta. After playfully huffing and rolling my eyes at him, I crossed my arms under my chin and gave him the sweetest smile. I loved teasing him, and it was even more fun now that we were together. It gave me all the time in the world to rile him up and it was great.

“You’re such a pain,” I crumbled against his lips like I didn’t think it was one of the greatest compliments he could give me. I knew how much he actually loved my sass and quick tongue, just like I loved his. After we kissed a few more times, I felt my phone buzz, and I was tempted to ignore it, but I almost never got texts that weren’t from Matt, so I took my phone out to read it. He couldn’t see it from his angle, which was probably a good thing since it was from Ezra. He wanted to know if he could take me out tonight... oh boy.

[thefreshmatt]

I still couldn’t believe she wanted to have sex more than me half the time. Or maybe we were evenly matched except I was the one with the most felt control. Honestly, though, that’s all our relationship had been for a long while, that I was kind of okay with taking a bit of a back seat, if you could call it that. It was different between us now, and I wanted it to feel that way.

“The door is right there, you know,” I mumbled back against her lips feigning seriousness and then pressed a few sweet kisses against them before she could say anything back. When she took her phone out—and I couldn’t for the life of me imagine why—I slid my hands down to hers hips and sat there patiently. “Anything important?” I asked after a little bit.

[thejaymamazing]

Beast of Burden

Matt still hadn’t asked me out on an official date yet, but that was okay. I was really only kidding when I brought it up—we didn’t need a date to make things real between us. We wanted to be together, so we were together. It was hard finding the time to be together—alone—outside of work with our busy schedules, but we made it work. I just didn’t want him to feel like I was suffocating him too much.

Sprawled out on top of him on his couch, I giggled as I ran my hands through his curls to mess them up. It really annoyed him, but not really, so I was definitely having some fun. “Stop fussing,” I sighed playfully as I stretched his hair between my fingers, but after softened the blow by kissing his cheek a few times.

[thefreshmatt]

As fast as we turned things around, it didn’t feel like too much at all. In reality, I felt good about the fact that it was exactly the way it was supposed to be, finally. I was waiting for a day that it didn’t feel shoed in for the sake of going on a date, but the weekend was looking pretty open, so hopefully she’d free. I was starting to have second thoughts about taking her out, though—didn’t want her messing with my hair the whole the time.

Just kidding, I was having a blast, even if she was going out of her way to annoy me a little. Lifting my arm from around her waist, I laughed as I reached for her hands yet again. I was not fussing. “Stop making my lotion go to waste. I need that,” I grumbled playfully as I managed to catch her lips with my own a few times.

[thejaymamazing]

Rolling my eyes, I sighed dramatically again and shook my head. I didn’t give up so easy on anything, nope. I was too stubborn for that, and besides, this was too much fun. I loved making him laugh, even if he did grumble at me like that. “For what, when you’re alone in your trailer?” I quipped without missing a beat, raising my eyebrows as I pushed his hands out of the way. “You have, like, three bottles at all times. You’ll survive.”

He almost distracted me with the kisses, almost, but I persevered. After straightening out a particularly pesky curl, I stuck my tongue out at him and broke out into a smile. I may have been a pain in the ass, but I was his favorite pain in the ass. There was no denying that, or at least I hoped so.

[thefreshmatt]

Oh, is that what she though? “You think I only need it for my trailer?” I quipped back just as easily with a soft smirk. Fortunately, I didn’t actually get that carried away when I was alone. Anyway, it was my turn to roll my eyes when she called me out for having three bottles, but only because she right.

Wow, she wouldn’t even stop after I gave her a bunch of sweet kisses. She should’ve been melting. Peering up as best as I could at that one particular strand of curl she tugged harder than the rest, I sighed a wide smile. “I’m trying to spend quality time with you and you’re making it really difficult.”

[thejaymamazing]

I knew he was just kidding (I think... I hope...) but I still glared at him anyway. Who needed lotion when you had a girlfriend? Especially one with a sex drive like mine? “You shouldn’t need it at all,” I groaned against his cheek, but I was only half serious. I was just pulling his leg, though. If I was his pain in the ass, then he was mine, and proudly so. There was no one I’d rather spend my time like this with.

Ah, there was that smile I loved so much. “You love it,” I retorted smugly with a grin so cute he wouldn’t be able to stand it. This was our quality time, unless there was something else he’d rather do. I had a feeling it’d involve a lot less clothing, and as fun as that would be, I didn’t feel like moving right now. Or, he could put some moves on me, but he wasn’t trying too hard.

[thefreshmatt]

She knew I was just messing around, right? Of course. I couldn’t help but agree with her, but not agree at the same time just to rile her up some more. “Yeah, tell me about it,” I complained jokingly as if the glare she already gave me wasn’t enough to make me think twice about it. It was good to know we had even more of a right to annoy each other now.

Before I could even consider telling her she was wrong, she gave that cute smile that made me melt. “I love you, so I guess I love it by default,” I replied cheekily before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. I actually didn’t care if we spent the rest of the evening like this. Maybe I just wanted lay here with her and watch some crappy television.

[thejaymamazing]

Beast of Burden

Matt still hadn’t asked me out on an official date yet, but that was okay. I was really only kidding when I brought it up—we didn’t need a date to make things real between us. We wanted to be together, so we were together. It was hard finding the time to be together—alone—outside of work with our busy schedules, but we made it work. I just didn’t want him to feel like I was suffocating him too much.

Sprawled out on top of him on his couch, I giggled as I ran my hands through his curls to mess them up. It really annoyed him, but not really, so I was definitely having some fun. “Stop fussing,” I sighed playfully as I stretched his hair between my fingers, but after softened the blow by kissing his cheek a few times.

[thefreshmatt]

As fast as we turned things around, it didn’t feel like too much at all. In reality, I felt good about the fact that it was exactly the way it was supposed to be, finally. I was waiting for a day that it didn’t feel shoed in for the sake of going on a date, but the weekend was looking pretty open, so hopefully she’d free. I was starting to have second thoughts about taking her out, though—didn’t want her messing with my hair the whole the time.

Just kidding, I was having a blast, even if she was going out of her way to annoy me a little. Lifting my arm from around her waist, I laughed as I reached for her hands yet again. I was not fussing. “Stop making my lotion go to waste. I need that,” I grumbled playfully as I managed to catch her lips with my own a few times.

[thejaymamazing]

Rolling my eyes, I sighed dramatically again and shook my head. I didn’t give up so easy on anything, nope. I was too stubborn for that, and besides, this was too much fun. I loved making him laugh, even if he did grumble at me like that. “For what, when you’re alone in your trailer?” I quipped without missing a beat, raising my eyebrows as I pushed his hands out of the way. “You have, like, three bottles at all times. You’ll survive.”

He almost distracted me with the kisses, almost, but I persevered. After straightening out a particularly pesky curl, I stuck my tongue out at him and broke out into a smile. I may have been a pain in the ass, but I was his favorite pain in the ass. There was no denying that, or at least I hoped so.

[thefreshmatt]

Oh, is that what she though? “You think I only need it for my trailer?” I quipped back just as easily with a soft smirk. Fortunately, I didn’t actually get that carried away when I was alone. Anyway, it was my turn to roll my eyes when she called me out for having three bottles, but only because she right.

Wow, she wouldn’t even stop after I gave her a bunch of sweet kisses. She should’ve been melting. Peering up as best as I could at that one particular strand of curl she tugged harder than the rest, I sighed a wide smile. “I’m trying to spend quality time with you and you’re making it really difficult.”

[thejaymamazing]

Beast of Burden

Matt still hadn’t asked me out on an official date yet, but that was okay. I was really only kidding when I brought it up—we didn’t need a date to make things real between us. We wanted to be together, so we were together. It was hard finding the time to be together—alone—outside of work with our busy schedules, but we made it work. I just didn’t want him to feel like I was suffocating him too much.

Sprawled out on top of him on his couch, I giggled as I ran my hands through his curls to mess them up. It really annoyed him, but not really, so I was definitely having some fun. “Stop fussing,” I sighed playfully as I stretched his hair between my fingers, but after softened the blow by kissing his cheek a few times.

[thefreshmatt]

As fast as we turned things around, it didn’t feel like too much at all. In reality, I felt good about the fact that it was exactly the way it was supposed to be, finally. I was waiting for a day that it didn’t feel shoed in for the sake of going on a date, but the weekend was looking pretty open, so hopefully she’d free. I was starting to have second thoughts about taking her out, though—didn’t want her messing with my hair the whole the time.

Just kidding, I was having a blast, even if she was going out of her way to annoy me a little. Lifting my arm from around her waist, I laughed as I reached for her hands yet again. I was not fussing. “Stop making my lotion go to waste. I need that,” I grumbled playfully as I managed to catch her lips with my own a few times.

[thefreshmatt]

Sinner’s Prayer

I couldn’t believe how much I told her—it all just poured out of me. Now, both the of our feelings were out there. It was funny how a few months could change things. It didn’t make it any simpler, though. I was ready for something serious between us, but I really hurt her, so I understood why she’d need to work everything out on her own first. I’d be heartbroken if this was it for us, but I had to be patient and hope for the best. I wasn’t great at that kind of thing, but she was worth it.

Anyway, we had a really nice time as our vacation winded down, so I wasn’t worried about us not spending time together, even if our relationship was in limbo. When we flew back into LA, my car was at her place, so we got to her apartment and helped her carry her bags inside. Ahh, I wasn’t ready to go our separate ways, but I think I’d survive. “I’ll see you next week... unless you wanna grab a bite to eat soon.” I figured she’d be busy with her friends and whatnot, but I thought I’d put the idea out there.

[thefreshmatt]

As long as there weren’t any other dates, and she didn’t secretly really like the guy, I wasn’t going to get hung up on it. I think that was fair. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous laying all my cards on the table, but that was far from the most prevailing feeling of mine. Mostly, the thought of feeling this way about someone was, I don’t know, kind of exciting—especially someone who cared about me for me.

Wow, okay. I wasn’t expecting her to say that to me at this very moment, but it sounded like she meant it. Searching her eyes for a moment, I found myself smiling back at her almost right away. I wished I would have figured things out for myself sooner, but I was ready to start making up for it. “So what now?” I asked curiously as I peered back up at her.

[thejaymamazing]

What was the point in dragging out an answer, when I already knew in my heart what it would be? Yeah, it was really sudden, given that I’d already taken well over a week to think about it. I’d be lying if I said this didn’t feel like a negotiation in a way, though. Anyway, I meant it, and as long as he knew that, that’s all that mattered to me.

I didn’t mean to, but I nearly cracked up at his question. It was genuine, though, andba very good question. “Now I let you figure out where we’re going on our first date,” I paused with a grin, raising my eyebrows flirtatiously before my smile turned into a smirk. “In the meantime, I’m gonna go out of my way to make sure Emma’s wearing the tightest pencil skirts she owns.”

[thefreshmatt]

What mattered most was that she was comfortable giving this a shot—I wouldn’t ask her to if she didn’t think it’d be worth it. Obviously, I wanted her to trust me enough, too, but I knew earning that trust didn’t end here, you know? Right now, though, I just was really, really happy.

I narrowed my eyes a little when she started to crack before chuckling under my breath. Biting down on my lip, I peered across at her brightly, even as she got the mischevious look in her eyes. Wow, she was trying to kill me. “I think I better take my time, then.” When I thought about it, there were a lot of worse ways to go.

[thejaymamazing]

Gosh, he was so cute when he was pretending to be intimidating. I knew he couldn’t actually even hurt a fly, so I wasn’t taking that look on his face very seriously at all. When he bit down on his lip, I smiled innocently and shrugged my shoulders, as if I wasn’t expecting an answer like that from him. He’d better not actually take his time, though, that punk.

Standing up to get some napkins, I made sure to sway my hips just enough to grab his attention. As I passed by him, I planted my hand on his shoulder and leaned in to whisper into his ear. “Enjoy yourself,” I husked because God knows I loved messing with him, then went to go get those napkins. I sat back down with a chuckle because the tips of his ears were just a little red, meaning he was enjoying my teasing.

[thefreshmatt]

Even if I wanted to take my time, it was never going to happen. We didn’t have to go on a date, like, tomorrow, but within in the next week or so? Yeah, absolutely. She already told me what her ideal date was, but it’d be cool if I could pull off a suprise or something.

I didn’t blink when she stood up, but then started swaying her hips, which obviously my attention. Man, she really couldn’t wait. Too bad it was already working. I’m sure my ears probably gave it away, because I could feel them heat up by the time she whispered in my ear. I looked over my shoulder after she walked away before shaking my head in disbelief.

[thefreshmatt]

Sinner’s Prayer

I couldn’t believe how much I told her—it all just poured out of me. Now, both the of our feelings were out there. It was funny how a few months could change things. It didn’t make it any simpler, though. I was ready for something serious between us, but I really hurt her, so I understood why she’d need to work everything out on her own first. I’d be heartbroken if this was it for us, but I had to be patient and hope for the best. I wasn’t great at that kind of thing, but she was worth it.

Anyway, we had a really nice time as our vacation winded down, so I wasn’t worried about us not spending time together, even if our relationship was in limbo. When we flew back into LA, my car was at her place, so we got to her apartment and helped her carry her bags inside. Ahh, I wasn’t ready to go our separate ways, but I think I’d survive. “I’ll see you next week... unless you wanna grab a bite to eat soon.” I figured she’d be busy with her friends and whatnot, but I thought I’d put the idea out there.

[thefreshmatt]

As long as there weren’t any other dates, and she didn’t secretly really like the guy, I wasn’t going to get hung up on it. I think that was fair. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous laying all my cards on the table, but that was far from the most prevailing feeling of mine. Mostly, the thought of feeling this way about someone was, I don’t know, kind of exciting—especially someone who cared about me for me.

Wow, okay. I wasn’t expecting her to say that to me at this very moment, but it sounded like she meant it. Searching her eyes for a moment, I found myself smiling back at her almost right away. I wished I would have figured things out for myself sooner, but I was ready to start making up for it. “So what now?” I asked curiously as I peered back up at her.

[thejaymamazing]

What was the point in dragging out an answer, when I already knew in my heart what it would be? Yeah, it was really sudden, given that I’d already taken well over a week to think about it. I’d be lying if I said this didn’t feel like a negotiation in a way, though. Anyway, I meant it, and as long as he knew that, that’s all that mattered to me.

I didn’t mean to, but I nearly cracked up at his question. It was genuine, though, andba very good question. “Now I let you figure out where we’re going on our first date,” I paused with a grin, raising my eyebrows flirtatiously before my smile turned into a smirk. “In the meantime, I’m gonna go out of my way to make sure Emma’s wearing the tightest pencil skirts she owns.”

[thefreshmatt]

What mattered most was that she was comfortable giving this a shot—I wouldn’t ask her to if she didn’t think it’d be worth it. Obviously, I wanted her to trust me enough, too, but I knew earning that trust didn’t end here, you know? Right now, though, I just was really, really happy.

I narrowed my eyes a little when she started to crack before chuckling under my breath. Biting down on my lip, I peered across at her brightly, even as she got the mischevious look in her eyes. Wow, she was trying to kill me. “I think I better take my time, then.” When I thought about it, there were a lot of worse ways to go.

[thefreshmatt]

Sinner’s Prayer

I couldn’t believe how much I told her—it all just poured out of me. Now, both the of our feelings were out there. It was funny how a few months could change things. It didn’t make it any simpler, though. I was ready for something serious between us, but I really hurt her, so I understood why she’d need to work everything out on her own first. I’d be heartbroken if this was it for us, but I had to be patient and hope for the best. I wasn’t great at that kind of thing, but she was worth it.

Anyway, we had a really nice time as our vacation winded down, so I wasn’t worried about us not spending time together, even if our relationship was in limbo. When we flew back into LA, my car was at her place, so we got to her apartment and helped her carry her bags inside. Ahh, I wasn’t ready to go our separate ways, but I think I’d survive. “I’ll see you next week... unless you wanna grab a bite to eat soon.” I figured she’d be busy with her friends and whatnot, but I thought I’d put the idea out there.

[thefreshmatt]

As long as there weren’t any other dates, and she didn’t secretly really like the guy, I wasn’t going to get hung up on it. I think that was fair. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous laying all my cards on the table, but that was far from the most prevailing feeling of mine. Mostly, the thought of feeling this way about someone was, I don’t know, kind of exciting—especially someone who cared about me for me.

Wow, okay. I wasn’t expecting her to say that to me at this very moment, but it sounded like she meant it. Searching her eyes for a moment, I found myself smiling back at her almost right away. I wished I would have figured things out for myself sooner, but I was ready to start making up for it. “So what now?” I asked curiously as I peered back up at her.

[thefreshmatt]

Sinner’s Prayer

I couldn’t believe how much I told her—it all just poured out of me. Now, both the of our feelings were out there. It was funny how a few months could change things. It didn’t make it any simpler, though. I was ready for something serious between us, but I really hurt her, so I understood why she’d need to work everything out on her own first. I’d be heartbroken if this was it for us, but I had to be patient and hope for the best. I wasn’t great at that kind of thing, but she was worth it.

Anyway, we had a really nice time as our vacation winded down, so I wasn’t worried about us not spending time together, even if our relationship was in limbo. When we flew back into LA, my car was at her place, so we got to her apartment and helped her carry her bags inside. Ahh, I wasn’t ready to go our separate ways, but I think I’d survive. “I’ll see you next week... unless you wanna grab a bite to eat soon.” I figured she’d be busy with her friends and whatnot, but I thought I’d put the idea out there.

[thejaymamazing]

I didn’t know all the Broadway songs like Matt did, but for some reason I couldn’t help but think that Send in the Clowns described us, like, perfectly right now. It was kind of crazy, actually. He stayed true to his word and gave me all the time I needed, but we still enjoyed the rest of our time in Hawaii together and had a really nice time. He didn’t bring up our talk on the beach, or make me feel pressured at all about making a decision, and I really appreciated that.

Still, I knew that things would be a little different once we got home. Our relationship was in limbo, and by the time next week rolled around, we’d be playing love interests again, which meant a lot of kissing and longing gazed and just closeness. I think I needed a few days to get my head on straight before then, so when he said he’d see me next week, I already knew I wanted to wait until then before seeing him again. “I think I’m just gonna relax a bit and get ready for work the next few days... I’ll let you know if that changes, though.” That didn’t sound too harsh, right?

[thefreshmatt]

I was trying not to think about how work would throw another wrinkle into our relationship as it stood, but it was certainly looming close... I’d never been in this situation before, to say the least, but I’m sure we’d be able to handle it. Who knows, maybe she’d already have her mind made up by then.

I was a little bummed, but it wasn’t the end of the world. I needed catch up on some sleep, too. At least she was honest. “Alright, take it easy.” Biting down on my lip, I took a quarter turn and had a moment of contemplation before quickly kissing her cheek. “I love you. See ya.” Smiling at her sweetly, I closed the door behind me on the way out.

[thejaymamazing]

I didn’t think he’d leave so quickly, so I was a little surprised when he got ready to go. I mean, yeah, I said I’d see him next week, but only because he’d asked about my upcoming plans. If he was even a little as tired as I was, though, I’m sure he just wanted to get home and catch up on some sleep. Twisting my lips together, I watched as he turned and stepped closer to the door, my cheek resting against its edge.

The cheek kiss wasn’t a big deal, but then he casually threw out ‘I love you’ and it caught me off guard. With a blush, I bit down on my lip and smiled back at him before grabbing his arm and pecking his lips before he left. “I love you too. See you soon.” Once he shut the door, I leaned against the back of it and sighed, but I definitely felt giddy inside.

[thefreshmatt]

After I left, I leaned against the back of the door and pinched the bridge of my nose . Ugh, maybe I should’ve stayed longer. I left on a damn good note, though, if the way she smiled at me was any indication. My heart beat a little faster just thinking about, never mind getting to hear her say she loved me again, so I felt pretty good about that—no, I was on cloud nine.

I did end up going to sleep when I got home, but I texted her the next day and a few more times throughout the week, not about anything serious, but at least she knew I was thinking about her. I had enough going on until the first day of filming between friends and work that it wasn’t all I was thinking about it, but I couldn’t help but wonder where her head was at.

[thejaymamazing]

I didn’t want to tell Matt over text, but... Ezra came back a day or so before us, and three days after Matt and I got back, he asked me out on a date. I didn’t want to say no because I really did like him, but damn it, this came at a really bad time. Part of me wished that it could have gone really left, so that way I didn’t have to juggle feelings for Matt and him, but nope. We had a really lovely time, and I actually wanted to see him again.

God, what was wrong with me. I wasn’t sure what to tell Matt yet because this whole Ezra made things even more complicated than they already were. Matt texted here and there leading up to our first day back at work, and I liked knowing he was thinking about me, but... Ahh. I was very conflicted, to say the least, even by our first day back on set. I had quite a few scenes, actually, so I didn’t have that much time to myself to think about it. While catching up with Dianna and Jenna in between scenes, I noticed him a few feet away and felt very nervous because I still didn’t have an answer yet.

[thefreshmatt]

If I was gonna see her anywhere, it was the break room—she wasn’t the type to hide away in her trailer. She looked a little... stressed, but I couldn’t be sure. I hoped she got some of that rest she was talking about. Anyway, don’t act like you’re expecting an answer right now, Matt. I raised my eyebrows at her flirtily when our gazes met, my lips curving up gently as I turned my attention back to Cory who I was catching up with.

After Dianna and Jenna left, I looked around before walking over to her table. I didn’t sit down right away, though, because it seemed like a good idea to test he waters first. “Hungry?” I had some lunch I was happy to share if she had nothing better to do. I didn’t think we’d be hanging out in our trailers for the time being, so.

[thejaymamazing]

I bit down on a smile when he gave me that flirty look, and I bet my cheeks were a little flushed, too. He was such a playful guy, and he always knew how to make me smile and laugh with just a quick, simple look. The same went for when he flirted with me, although he almost always got me to blush. What could I say, I just couldn’t resist his charm.

Did he really just ask me that? “Of course I am,” I muttered almost immediately, a hint of a smirk tugging on my lips a moment later. He didn’t have to share, though, since I had my own lunch in the fridge. Gesturing for him to sit, I stood and procured my own lunch and two plates, figuring that we could share both of our food. I had a feeling why he wanted to sit with me, but maybe it wouldn’t come up just yet.

[thefreshmatt]

“That’s why I asked,” I quipped with a smirk of my own and watched as she got up to retrieve her lunch before remembering to actually sit down. God, I was acting like a teenager. When she returned, I thanked her for the plate and split my sandwich so we could go halfsies. I wanted to sit with her because I wanted to sit with her. If she made her mind up, well, even better, but I had to let her bring it up on her own, I think.

While I was feeling optimistic all week, I couldn’t help but start to have... doubts. If she wanted to give this a shot, she would’ve known that by now, right? Maybe I was just getting ahead of myself. On the other hand, we’d only been in the same room together for about five whole minutes. Relax, Matt. “So what’ve you been up to? I didn’t see any Untold Stories marathons on.” As exciting as going over new scripts could be, I couldn’t imagine her being couped up at home this whole time.

[thejaymamazing]

Nothing would make me happier than being in a real relationship with Matt, but it just... felt too good to be true. Not that I doubted his feelings for me or anything, but how could we be sure he didn’t just feel that way because of Hawaii? He said he missed me in a much different way than he missed everyone else, but we’d barely gone that long without seeing each other. Seeing each other for the first time in a while in Hawaii of all places... well, yeah, it could do funny things to your head if you let it.

I don’t know, maybe it’d be best if we just waited a bit before we took things to the next level. I was afraid that I’d end up getting hurt, and the last thing I wanted was for something to come between our friendship. Imagine if things went really sour and we couldn’t stand to be around each other... that would kill me. I think I was just getting way too ahead of myself, and fearing the worst, though. Rolling my eyes with a chuckle, I shook my head and split my homemade potstickers and roasted veggies with him. I could have told him that I stayed home the entire time and cuddled with my cats, but that was only half true. I didn’t want to lie to him, either. “I, um... I went out on a date. With the guy I danced with at the nightclub in Hawaii...”

[thefreshmatt]

Wait... she went on a date with someone? Furrowing my eyebrows, I peered up at her in confusion as I processsed what she just told me. And she met him in Hawaii. That was, like, the icing on the top. What the fuck... When she said needed time to wrap her head around what I told her, I didn’t think that meant seeing other people.

I didn’t want her know how hurt I was, but it was written all over my features. What was I supposed to say to that? I mean, they must have really hit off, so there’s a good chance the date went well. “Are you going out with him again?” I hardly wanted to ask her that question, but I had to know, because if she was, that really changed things.

[thejaymamazing]

It sounded ridiculous to me too, so I was fully deserving of the look he just gave me. I just wished he didn’t look so hurt... I didn’t like being the reason for it, not when I knew all too well what it was like being on the other end of it. It wasn’t like I really planned for it to happen, it just... kind of did. I wasn’t doing anything at all on Friday night, and when Ezra suggested that we spend some time together, it sounded fun. I had a good time, and I didn’t regret going out with him, but I really wished that this had happened before I knew how Matt felt.

Now I just felt really guilty and awful because I did know how Matt felt, but I went out with someone else anyway. I wasn’t sure if we were going to go out together again, although Ezra had already mentioned it. God, I felt like a really bad person. “I don’t know,” I answered truthfully, a frown settling on my face as I dared to look into Matt’s eyes. “I guess I just... want to be sure that you’re sure about everything first. It happened so fast...”

[thefreshmatt]

It wasn’t a ‘yes,’ but it wasn’t exactly encouraging either. It made a little more sense when she explained why she wanted to take her time, but I still didn’t understand why that had to involve other people if we both wanted the same thing and there wasn’t anything in the way of it. Unless she wanted to see what other options were out there. I was just trying to get a better idea of what was going through her mind.

“I am sure.” I kept my kept my voice low, but not any of the conviction in it. “And I’m okay with taking it slow. If you need another week or month to be sure, my feelings aren’t going anywhere.” I could see why it’d be easy to wait for me to disappoint her, but I knew how strongly I felt about her, and how much I wanted this. I was ready to give it my all. “I’m in this as much as you are.” I just needed her to be as certain as she needed me to be.

[thefreshmatt]

Sinner’s Prayer

I couldn’t believe how much I told her—it all just poured out of me. Now, both the of our feelings were out there. It was funny how a few months could change things. It didn’t make it any simpler, though. I was ready for something serious between us, but I really hurt her, so I understood why she’d need to work everything out on her own first. I’d be heartbroken if this was it for us, but I had to be patient and hope for the best. I wasn’t great at that kind of thing, but she was worth it.

Anyway, we had a really nice time as our vacation winded down, so I wasn’t worried about us not spending time together, even if our relationship was in limbo. When we flew back into LA, my car was at her place, so we got to her apartment and helped her carry her bags inside. Ahh, I wasn’t ready to go our separate ways, but I think I’d survive. “I’ll see you next week... unless you wanna grab a bite to eat soon.” I figured she’d be busy with her friends and whatnot, but I thought I’d put the idea out there.

[thejaymamazing]

I didn’t know all the Broadway songs like Matt did, but for some reason I couldn’t help but think that Send in the Clowns described us, like, perfectly right now. It was kind of crazy, actually. He stayed true to his word and gave me all the time I needed, but we still enjoyed the rest of our time in Hawaii together and had a really nice time. He didn’t bring up our talk on the beach, or make me feel pressured at all about making a decision, and I really appreciated that.

Still, I knew that things would be a little different once we got home. Our relationship was in limbo, and by the time next week rolled around, we’d be playing love interests again, which meant a lot of kissing and longing gazed and just closeness. I think I needed a few days to get my head on straight before then, so when he said he’d see me next week, I already knew I wanted to wait until then before seeing him again. “I think I’m just gonna relax a bit and get ready for work the next few days... I’ll let you know if that changes, though.” That didn’t sound too harsh, right?

[thefreshmatt]

I was trying not to think about how work would throw another wrinkle into our relationship as it stood, but it was certainly looming close... I’d never been in this situation before, to say the least, but I’m sure we’d be able to handle it. Who knows, maybe she’d already have her mind made up by then.

I was a little bummed, but it wasn’t the end of the world. I needed catch up on some sleep, too. At least she was honest. “Alright, take it easy.” Biting down on my lip, I took a quarter turn and had a moment of contemplation before quickly kissing her cheek. “I love you. See ya.” Smiling at her sweetly, I closed the door behind me on the way out.

[thejaymamazing]

I didn’t think he’d leave so quickly, so I was a little surprised when he got ready to go. I mean, yeah, I said I’d see him next week, but only because he’d asked about my upcoming plans. If he was even a little as tired as I was, though, I’m sure he just wanted to get home and catch up on some sleep. Twisting my lips together, I watched as he turned and stepped closer to the door, my cheek resting against its edge.

The cheek kiss wasn’t a big deal, but then he casually threw out ‘I love you’ and it caught me off guard. With a blush, I bit down on my lip and smiled back at him before grabbing his arm and pecking his lips before he left. “I love you too. See you soon.” Once he shut the door, I leaned against the back of it and sighed, but I definitely felt giddy inside.

[thefreshmatt]

After I left, I leaned against the back of the door and pinched the bridge of my nose . Ugh, maybe I should’ve stayed longer. I left on a damn good note, though, if the way she smiled at me was any indication. My heart beat a little faster just thinking about, never mind getting to hear her say she loved me again, so I felt pretty good about that—no, I was on cloud nine.

I did end up going to sleep when I got home, but I texted her the next day and a few more times throughout the week, not about anything serious, but at least she knew I was thinking about her. I had enough going on until the first day of filming between friends and work that it wasn’t all I was thinking about it, but I couldn’t help but wonder where her head was at.

[thejaymamazing]

I didn’t want to tell Matt over text, but... Ezra came back a day or so before us, and three days after Matt and I got back, he asked me out on a date. I didn’t want to say no because I really did like him, but damn it, this came at a really bad time. Part of me wished that it could have gone really left, so that way I didn’t have to juggle feelings for Matt and him, but nope. We had a really lovely time, and I actually wanted to see him again.

God, what was wrong with me. I wasn’t sure what to tell Matt yet because this whole Ezra made things even more complicated than they already were. Matt texted here and there leading up to our first day back at work, and I liked knowing he was thinking about me, but... Ahh. I was very conflicted, to say the least, even by our first day back on set. I had quite a few scenes, actually, so I didn’t have that much time to myself to think about it. While catching up with Dianna and Jenna in between scenes, I noticed him a few feet away and felt very nervous because I still didn’t have an answer yet.

[thefreshmatt]

If I was gonna see her anywhere, it was the break room—she wasn’t the type to hide away in her trailer. She looked a little... stressed, but I couldn’t be sure. I hoped she got some of that rest she was talking about. Anyway, don’t act like you’re expecting an answer right now, Matt. I raised my eyebrows at her flirtily when our gazes met, my lips curving up gently as I turned my attention back to Cory who I was catching up with.

After Dianna and Jenna left, I looked around before walking over to her table. I didn’t sit down right away, though, because it seemed like a good idea to test he waters first. “Hungry?” I had some lunch I was happy to share if she had nothing better to do. I didn’t think we’d be hanging out in our trailers for the time being, so.

[thejaymamazing]

I bit down on a smile when he gave me that flirty look, and I bet my cheeks were a little flushed, too. He was such a playful guy, and he always knew how to make me smile and laugh with just a quick, simple look. The same went for when he flirted with me, although he almost always got me to blush. What could I say, I just couldn’t resist his charm.

Did he really just ask me that? “Of course I am,” I muttered almost immediately, a hint of a smirk tugging on my lips a moment later. He didn’t have to share, though, since I had my own lunch in the fridge. Gesturing for him to sit, I stood and procured my own lunch and two plates, figuring that we could share both of our food. I had a feeling why he wanted to sit with me, but maybe it wouldn’t come up just yet.

[thefreshmatt]

“That’s why I asked,” I quipped with a smirk of my own and watched as she got up to retrieve her lunch before remembering to actually sit down. God, I was acting like a teenager. When she returned, I thanked her for the plate and split my sandwich so we could go halfsies. I wanted to sit with her because I wanted to sit with her. If she made her mind up, well, even better, but I had to let her bring it up on her own, I think.

While I was feeling optimistic all week, I couldn’t help but start to have... doubts. If she wanted to give this a shot, she would’ve known that by now, right? Maybe I was just getting ahead of myself. On the other hand, we’d only been in the same room together for about five whole minutes. Relax, Matt. “So what’ve you been up to? I didn’t see any Untold Stories marathons on.” As exciting as going over new scripts could be, I couldn’t imagine her being couped up at home this whole time.

[thejaymamazing]

Nothing would make me happier than being in a real relationship with Matt, but it just... felt too good to be true. Not that I doubted his feelings for me or anything, but how could we be sure he didn’t just feel that way because of Hawaii? He said he missed me in a much different way than he missed everyone else, but we’d barely gone that long without seeing each other. Seeing each other for the first time in a while in Hawaii of all places... well, yeah, it could do funny things to your head if you let it.

I don’t know, maybe it’d be best if we just waited a bit before we took things to the next level. I was afraid that I’d end up getting hurt, and the last thing I wanted was for something to come between our friendship. Imagine if things went really sour and we couldn’t stand to be around each other... that would kill me. I think I was just getting way too ahead of myself, and fearing the worst, though. Rolling my eyes with a chuckle, I shook my head and split my homemade potstickers and roasted veggies with him. I could have told him that I stayed home the entire time and cuddled with my cats, but that was only half true. I didn’t want to lie to him, either. “I, um... I went out on a date. With the guy I danced with at the nightclub in Hawaii...”

[thefreshmatt]

Wait... she went on a date with someone? Furrowing my eyebrows, I peered up at her in confusion as I processsed what she just told me. And she met him in Hawaii. That was, like, the icing on the top. What the fuck... When she said needed time to wrap her head around what I told her, I didn’t think that meant seeing other people.

I didn’t want her know how hurt I was, but it was written all over my features. What was I supposed to say to that? I mean, they must have really hit off, so there’s a good chance the date went well. “Are you going out with him again?” I hardly wanted to ask her that question, but I had to know, because if she was, that really changed things.

[thefreshmatt]

Sinner’s Prayer

I couldn’t believe how much I told her—it all just poured out of me. Now, both the of our feelings were out there. It was funny how a few months could change things. It didn’t make it any simpler, though. I was ready for something serious between us, but I really hurt her, so I understood why she’d need to work everything out on her own first. I’d be heartbroken if this was it for us, but I had to be patient and hope for the best. I wasn’t great at that kind of thing, but she was worth it.

Anyway, we had a really nice time as our vacation winded down, so I wasn’t worried about us not spending time together, even if our relationship was in limbo. When we flew back into LA, my car was at her place, so we got to her apartment and helped her carry her bags inside. Ahh, I wasn’t ready to go our separate ways, but I think I’d survive. “I’ll see you next week... unless you wanna grab a bite to eat soon.” I figured she’d be busy with her friends and whatnot, but I thought I’d put the idea out there.

[thejaymamazing]

I didn’t know all the Broadway songs like Matt did, but for some reason I couldn’t help but think that Send in the Clowns described us, like, perfectly right now. It was kind of crazy, actually. He stayed true to his word and gave me all the time I needed, but we still enjoyed the rest of our time in Hawaii together and had a really nice time. He didn’t bring up our talk on the beach, or make me feel pressured at all about making a decision, and I really appreciated that.

Still, I knew that things would be a little different once we got home. Our relationship was in limbo, and by the time next week rolled around, we’d be playing love interests again, which meant a lot of kissing and longing gazed and just closeness. I think I needed a few days to get my head on straight before then, so when he said he’d see me next week, I already knew I wanted to wait until then before seeing him again. “I think I’m just gonna relax a bit and get ready for work the next few days... I’ll let you know if that changes, though.” That didn’t sound too harsh, right?

[thefreshmatt]

I was trying not to think about how work would throw another wrinkle into our relationship as it stood, but it was certainly looming close... I’d never been in this situation before, to say the least, but I’m sure we’d be able to handle it. Who knows, maybe she’d already have her mind made up by then.

I was a little bummed, but it wasn’t the end of the world. I needed catch up on some sleep, too. At least she was honest. “Alright, take it easy.” Biting down on my lip, I took a quarter turn and had a moment of contemplation before quickly kissing her cheek. “I love you. See ya.” Smiling at her sweetly, I closed the door behind me on the way out.

[thejaymamazing]

I didn’t think he’d leave so quickly, so I was a little surprised when he got ready to go. I mean, yeah, I said I’d see him next week, but only because he’d asked about my upcoming plans. If he was even a little as tired as I was, though, I’m sure he just wanted to get home and catch up on some sleep. Twisting my lips together, I watched as he turned and stepped closer to the door, my cheek resting against its edge.

The cheek kiss wasn’t a big deal, but then he casually threw out ‘I love you’ and it caught me off guard. With a blush, I bit down on my lip and smiled back at him before grabbing his arm and pecking his lips before he left. “I love you too. See you soon.” Once he shut the door, I leaned against the back of it and sighed, but I definitely felt giddy inside.

[thefreshmatt]

After I left, I leaned against the back of the door and pinched the bridge of my nose . Ugh, maybe I should’ve stayed longer. I left on a damn good note, though, if the way she smiled at me was any indication. My heart beat a little faster just thinking about, never mind getting to hear her say she loved me again, so I felt pretty good about that—no, I was on cloud nine.

I did end up going to sleep when I got home, but I texted her the next day and a few more times throughout the week, not about anything serious, but at least she knew I was thinking about her. I had enough going on until the first day of filming between friends and work that it wasn’t all I was thinking about it, but I couldn’t help but wonder where her head was at.

[thejaymamazing]

I didn’t want to tell Matt over text, but... Ezra came back a day or so before us, and three days after Matt and I got back, he asked me out on a date. I didn’t want to say no because I really did like him, but damn it, this came at a really bad time. Part of me wished that it could have gone really left, so that way I didn’t have to juggle feelings for Matt and him, but nope. We had a really lovely time, and I actually wanted to see him again.

God, what was wrong with me. I wasn’t sure what to tell Matt yet because this whole Ezra made things even more complicated than they already were. Matt texted here and there leading up to our first day back at work, and I liked knowing he was thinking about me, but... Ahh. I was very conflicted, to say the least, even by our first day back on set. I had quite a few scenes, actually, so I didn’t have that much time to myself to think about it. While catching up with Dianna and Jenna in between scenes, I noticed him a few feet away and felt very nervous because I still didn’t have an answer yet.

[thefreshmatt]

If I was gonna see her anywhere, it was the break room—she wasn’t the type to hide away in her trailer. She looked a little... stressed, but I couldn’t be sure. I hoped she got some of that rest she was talking about. Anyway, don’t act like you’re expecting an answer right now, Matt. I raised my eyebrows at her flirtily when our gazes met, my lips curving up gently as I turned my attention back to Cory who I was catching up with.

After Dianna and Jenna left, I looked around before walking over to her table. I didn’t sit down right away, though, because it seemed like a good idea to test he waters first. “Hungry?” I had some lunch I was happy to share if she had nothing better to do. I didn’t think we’d be hanging out in our trailers for the time being, so.

[thejaymamazing]

I bit down on a smile when he gave me that flirty look, and I bet my cheeks were a little flushed, too. He was such a playful guy, and he always knew how to make me smile and laugh with just a quick, simple look. The same went for when he flirted with me, although he almost always got me to blush. What could I say, I just couldn’t resist his charm.

Did he really just ask me that? “Of course I am,” I muttered almost immediately, a hint of a smirk tugging on my lips a moment later. He didn’t have to share, though, since I had my own lunch in the fridge. Gesturing for him to sit, I stood and procured my own lunch and two plates, figuring that we could share both of our food. I had a feeling why he wanted to sit with me, but maybe it wouldn’t come up just yet.

[thefreshmatt]

“That’s why I asked,” I quipped with a smirk of my own and watched as she got up to retrieve her lunch before remembering to actually sit down. God, I was acting like a teenager. When she returned, I thanked her for the plate and split my sandwich so we could go halfsies. I wanted to sit with her because I wanted to sit with her. If she made her mind up, well, even better, but I had to let her bring it up on her own, I think.

While I was feeling optimistic all week, I couldn’t help but start to have... doubts. If she wanted to give this a shot, she would’ve known that by now, right? Maybe I was just getting ahead of myself. On the other hand, we’d only been in the same room together for about five whole minutes. Relax, Matt. “So what’ve you been up to? I didn’t see any Untold Stories marathons on.” As exciting as going over new scripts could be, I couldn’t imagine her being couped up at home this whole time.