Welcome to My Trash Pile @thefreshprincessofkansas - Tumblr Blog

i need crossword puzzles to stop giving me sports clues. dont ask me about football stars and nba championships and baseball team names. im the kind of nerd who chooses to do crossword puzzles why would you expect this of me. cruel and unusual.

homunculus-argument

We need to isolate and start selectively breeding the plastic eating bacteria so we can optimise their efficiency, and then somehow splice their DNA into the gut bacteria of an obligate carnivore, so we can put it in our cats gut biomes so they'll finally be free of having to choose between whether they want to eat plastic or whether they want to live.

komaedalovemail

i fucking hated your shoelaces this entire time

butterfirefly

for the uninitiated

wormsdyke

it would be so nice if you were allowed to start working on projects before you hit the 12 hour until deadline mark but sadly it’s not possible with our current technology. scientists are hard at work but for now this is one of the limitations we must face as a people

mrsterlingeverything

Almost completely true but we’re getting reports that scientists will soon be hard at work, but currently they have plany of time

ceruleanheaven

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

red-garden

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

theslowesthnery

ah yes my favourite trope

hotvampireadjacent

mousegirlheart

thelawfulchaotic

An unnecessarily preachy America’s 250th post?? Let’s fucking go

Remember everyone that making the Constitution was infinitely more interesting and relevant to America than Thomas Jefferson’s callout post to King George, and that it marks a real 250th anniversary in terms of continuous governance. Also governance is building, not destroying!

Also remember that the most kickass piece of colonial writing was not the Declaration of Independence but Common Sense by Thomas Paine, the least problematic Founding Father; Thomas Paine who said that rich people had stolen the inheritance of the Earth from mankind, who said that the remedy was universal basic income on reaching adulthood for every PERSON (not every man!!) and who did not own or fuck slaves. Abolitionist. Got blacklisted by the entire government of England. Said that a country can be proud of its justice system when the streets are free of beggars and the jails free of the condemned, or some shit like that.

halles-comet

things I love about my country, because it's the 4th of july and why shouldn't i get to love this country where i have lived for all my thirty years. he's the one who sucks

ice water

the common use of dryers for your clothes

carbon beach in malibu california

fall foliage in boston massachusetts

central AC

that thing where if you pump your arm at a passing 18 wheeler they'll honk their big loud horn just for fun

your ability to attend college/course of study/subsequent career isn't locked in by the results of one exam you take at 16 years old like in most of eurasia

that it's appropriate to wear blue jeans almost anywhere

rock music, and all its parent genres

these really beautiful string art earrings i bought on the agua caliente rez

mexican, italian, and chinese food all on the same street

no official national language or religion

how we smile too big and shake people's hands too hard and immediately give ourselves away in foreign countries by our gregariousness

broadway musicals

the james baldwin quote "i love america more than any other country in the world, and exactly for this reason, i insist on the right to criticize her perpetually." actually james baldwin in general. he was so fucking rad even when he got too drunk at parties and screamed at other guests about their systematic white privilege in a way that brought the vibe down. because that's also deeply american

thecryptkeeper

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

ryan-sometimes

I love how Zohran Mamdani is wearing a suit everywhere. And if he has anything else he puts it ON TOP of the suit. A basketball jersey. A high-vis vest. All worn over the suit. He’s like the mayor character in a cartoon who’s always dressed as The Mayor. If I didn’t know who he was and he biked past me in NYC I’d be like holy shit was that the mayor

todaysbird

fun fact about me: When I was 6 years old I sent so much hate mail to the president (the second Bush) that the mail carrier had to tell my mom I needed to stop before we got FBI’d

todaysbird

I was COMPLETELY unaware of the US political scene or why the adults in my life hated Bush, but I knew I hated him because he let people shoot wolves from helicopters and that’s mean and shitty

todaysbird

I also had a poor grasp on how stamps worked, so given that I wasn’t allowed to continually throw money away by putting stamps on my presidential hate mail, a lot of the times I just drew squares with little pictures inside on the corner.

fantasticait

Love, love, love reading more proof that everyone should encourage the children in their lives to write to elected officials--it teaches them about citizenship and can also be very funny.

When I taught second grade, one of the options for students who had finished their work was to write a letter to the president. I would send all of the letters in a big envelope at the end of every month.

Watching my students get more and more frustrated with him (and concerned about his wellbeing) was not the result I'd hoped for when I came up with the idea, but it was kind of hilarious.

See, Obama had a standard packet with information and activities about his dog he'd send in response to letters from very young citizens...and of course his office sent one back to our class every single time we sent mail.

So eventually all of the letters looked something like this:

Dear President Obama, I am writing about the environment. I am sad that the Great Barrier Reef is hurt. Also the Amazon Rainforest. Can you help? PLEASE DON'T WRITE BACK TO TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DOG AGAIN. WE ALREADY KNOW ALL ABOUT BO. WE COMPLETED THE MAZE AND COLORED HIM IN. It is good that you love your pet a lot. But try to remember the environment. It is also important.