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@thegnomechronicles-blog
The people of Gnomeland have rallied around an anti-fracking platform. It took them a while to organize but Gnomeland mayor, Hirum Clipclop, read up on the laws and decided that he and the village trustees would write a resolution to ban fracking within the village boundaries based on the Home Rule statute. They hoped to get their resolution filed with the state before the state gave the a-okay paving the way for statewide hydrofracturing for natural gas.
Will the problems never stop for Gnomeland? Like little villages and towns all along the Appalachia basin, Gnomeland rests on top of the Marcellus Shale. The people of Gnomeland don't know much about natural gas and how they get it out of the ground -- they've heard the word fracking but usually it's used as a curse as in "FRACK you!" so when the Landman came to town and offered good money for subsurface rights to the land, most of the gnomes thought, "What the heck! Time to get rich."
The residents of Gnomeland will have to put their xenophobic tendencies on hold for a while because the village has a bigger problem right now. The murder of Grumpy Caruncle has everyone frightened. Despite his name, Caruncle was beloved, although he was always dogged by whispers of malfeasance and misdeeds stemming back to his time as Village Clerk. Some wondered why his driveway was always plowed during the snowy winters while some villagers were snowbound for days because Grumpy’s bone-headed nephew (who just happened to be in charge of village plowing and maintenance) took his sweet time with the village snowblower. GIA will be sending their crack investigator Sherlock Gnomes to head up the murder investigation. Until then, residents of Gnomeland will have to walk around Grumpy Caruncle who has — in typical gnome fashion — turned to stone.
Well it happened. The GZB (Gnomeland Zoning Board) has put the code violation on the agenda for the next meeting and, as is the case in small villages across the land, the people have begun lobbying, just to make sure the GZB votes the "right" way. Dopey is bewildered by the reaction (but people suspect that's his normal state of mind anyway). Children of the village have taken to sitting just outside the reach of the dinosaur's leash, fascinated by the creature's size and greenness.
Look at what moved in next door. It's nice to have that vacant cabin occupied -- it's been empty for a couple of years now and was becoming an eyesore -- but did it have to be old Henry's cousin Dopey? The kid can't even grow a beard! And the Gnomeland zoning board will have to get after him about that pet of his. What the hell is it? Whatever it is, it's clearly violating section 2.3 of the zoning laws (. . . no barnyard, forest, or mythical creatures are to be kept within the village boundaries).
Even though they don't agree with the nativist tendencies of the Gnomeland villagers, a brave group of immigrants -- right off the fairy boat -- decide to take their own stand against the man. Their goals were a bit unclear, but the music they played was pleasant.
Emboldened by events during Arab Spring, one lone gnome takes a stand against the tyranny and oppression in Gnomeland.
Things have gotten out of hand between the strikers and the zoning scofflaws. The Village of Gnomeland trustees decide they have to take action so they divert funding that should have gone toward upgrading the sewer plant and hire a security guard. What a joke this guy is! What’s with the rusty rifle and the perpetual smile? To make matters worse, this clown has taken to screeching “If you see something, say something!” into a bullhorn at all hours of the day and night. Longtime residents fear things are going to hell in a handbasket.
Then there was the guy whose grandfather passed as a "little person" and played a bit part in the Emerald City sequence in The Wizard of Oz. Big whoop. I mean, where did he get off putting that stupid plastic lion in his lawn? Is there no zoning in this village?
Some of the village gnomes decided to kick back and take it one day at a time. One gnome's great-grandmother went to Alaska during the gold rush days and made a lot of money. It was a well-known secret how she made her money in the prospector camps (ahem) so the village couldn't quite believe the decsendant -- who shall be nameless -- wanted to flaunt the Alaska connection.
All was not well in the little village. The workers finally rebel against the giant who keeps adding houses leading to an influx of immigrants. "What if they take our jobs?" cried the natives. "Why can't things remain the same?" they wondered.
