kwento atbp.

opinyon. pangarap. paglalakbay. byahe ng buhay.

[theprocast]

Nope. I don’t see the deepness in my words when I write. I don’t feel the same soulfulness and emptiness I feel whenever I read someone else’s compositions. It’s like I just can’t seem to be on par with them; like I’m lacking in all so many aspects. But I keep writing, anyway. Writing is therapeutic, you know. It’s like filling up your already-overflowing emotions; like emptying your already-empty heart. And even if I can’t do it in the extremeness of others, at least I could do it little by little. Because little progress is still a progress.

Ces Castaño // my kind of therapy (via procastiwriters)

Writing is therapeutic, you know. It’s like filling up your already-overflowing emotions; like emptying your already-empty heart.

[thegreymatters]

Panaginip

Kanina lang nagising ako na may ngiti sa mukha ngunit kasabay noon ay may kahalong pakiramdam ng kaunting pagkainis. Sa totoo lang gusto ko talaga kapag naaalala ko ang aking mga panaginip. Noon nga ay isinusulat ko pa talaga ang panaginip ko at saka ko hinahanap at ina-analyze kung anong maaaring ibig sabihin ng mga simbolo na nakita ko. O di kaya naman inaalam ko kung ano ang mga posibleng dahilan kung bakit ko nakita iyon sa panaginip ko. Mabalik sa panaginip ko kanina, may hinahanap akong tao at ang nakatatawa lamang ay sa realidad ni hindi ko na inaasahan pa naman na mahanap o makita siya. Nakita ko na naman ang sarili ko na sinusubukang hanapin ulit ang taong iyon. Masaya na siguro sana kung nalaman ko ang ending, malas lang dahil maaaring wala na o hindi ko na lamang maalala pa ang kasunod. Paasang panaginip.

-Grey, 11Dec’15

[thegreymatters]

Something Better

Hey! Hey! You! You! You didn't get the job, pre!

Akala ko talaga it will go smoothly, if not, then I will still be able to get it. But no. Akala ko lang pala yun. I really like that job, sayang. And I thought I am the best fit for the job, Medyo confident pa naman ako. Oh well, alam ko naman an Kapag di nation nakukuha young gusto nation ibig sabihin lang noon there's something better in store for us. O di kaya naman pwedeng not now, pwedeng intay lang muna. Si God kasi He wants the best for us, He doesn't want us to settle for less.

Isa pa, maybe He is preparing us for something bigger, maybe it' even beyond what we are expecting and dreaming for ourselves. I suddenly remembered this talk about how our Lord works through seasons. The speaker said that He may not give it to you yet because He's going to give you something better in the future but for now, He wants you to be prepared for it. He wants you to be able to try different things first. In my case, siguro gusto niyang alamin ko kung sigurado na ba ako sa gusto kong gawin sa buhay. I think He wants me to explore, He wants me to know and enjoy other things to and that when I am finally where/who I want to be malalaman ko na hindi lang ako sa iisang bagay dapat magfocus; na mararaming bagay pa akong pwede at kayang gawin.

Heto naman ako ngayon, unti-unti kong natutuklasan kung saan ang gusto kong puntahan. E 'yon lang syempre, I still have a long way to go before I get there. Alam ko rin na hindi dapat ako matakot kasi nandyan Siya palagi to help and guide me. He is my map. He is my path. And he is my light. All I have to do is listen, always pray, and have faith in Him.

-Grey, 01Oct’15

[thegreymatters]

Pelikula

Ang daming nangyayari pero walang nagbabago. Kung susubukan kong ipaliwanag ang sa tingin kong estado ng buhay ko ngayon, maaari kong sabihin na para akong nasa isang pelikula. Syempre, nasa kalagitnaan ako at ako ang bida pero tila hindi naman sa akin nakatutok ang lente ng kamera. Tila ba, ang nakikita ko ang siya rin na kinukuhanan ng kamera. May slow motion effect kasabay ang mabilis na paggalaw ng iba't-ibang elemento sa paligid. Mabagal ang takbo ng oras subalit marami na ang nangyayari. Sa iisang direksyon lamang tumitingin ang bida ngunit kusang umiikot ang paligid at sa bilis ay hindi na masundan pa ng bida. 'Di ba parang nasa isang pelikula? -Grey, 21Oct'15

[thegreymatters]

I Remember It All Too Well

Masaya ako dahil malamig ang hangin ngayong gabi. I opened the window just to let a little bit of the cold air to come in. This feeling reminds me of the late cold December nights before. It also reminds me of the late night convos with my friends. It's just so nostalgic. Yung malalim na ang gabi, umaga na nga at nanginginig ka na sa lamig pero ayaw mo pa rin matulog. Gising na gising ka pa rin at ayaw mo na matapos pa ang kwentuhan nyo. Oh how I wished that the clock would just stop ticking during those times, I'm going to miss those hindi pa man 'yon natatapos. I just love this kind of moments when it's still happening but I already knew that I'm going to treasure those memories for a long, long time, and maybe even for a lifetime. -Grey, 03Oct'15

[thegreymatters]

Hindi Ako Writer Pero Mahal Ko Ang Pagsusulat

I love to write. Hindi ko alam kung anong meron sa writers at sa gabi (madalas kasi gabi ako nagsusulat talaga.) I’m not sure if I should call myself a ‘writer’ but I guess pwede na. After all, writing is a form of art, and art does not have any strict qualifications nor standards. Sabi nga ng prof ko noon, ang art daw be in a visual, musical, literary or any form pa yan e its value and if it will be considered as an art will all depend on who’s looking, reading or listening to it. Maihahalintulad ito sa kagandahan, Art is in the eyes of the beholder kung baga. At alam mo ba kung anong mas maganda pa sa Art? It doesn’t have to physically look beautiful, neat , or perfect just to be considered as an art. At dahil inspired ako, I will keep on writing, pwedeng blog din. (ito na yun! natuloy din finally, yehey!) Ang art kasi hindi naman yan minamadali. Para itong prutas sa puno na masarap kung natural na mahihinog. O di kaya'y kapag tama na ang gulang para sa tamang lasa na hinahanap ng kakain. -Grey, 02Oct'15

[thegreymatters]

The pain never really goes away; sometimes you just learn how to cope with it.

Grey, 12Sept'15

[thegreymatters]

Panimula.

Panimula my face! Haha. Sa wakas ay natuloy rin ang paggawa ko ng panibagong blog. (Yehey! Masanay ka na dahil mahilig talaga maglagay ng unsolicited comments sa loob ng parentheses and nagmamay-ari ng blog na ito)

To be honest, this is not my first time to use this blogging platform. I actually had an old account here in Tumblr which I stopped using several months ago. The reason? Well let’s just say that I want to keep all the drama there and start anew. Ang arte ‘di ba? Even though I don’t use that account anymore, I decided to keep it anyway since there were a lot of memories posted in there. But enough about that old account. I’ll be posting my journal entries here, well just some of it. So yeah. Hello, World!

Trivia: Ayon sa nakalap kong impormasyon, ang mga katagang “Hello, World!” na kadalasang paboritong gamiting ng mga programmers ay unang ginamit noong taong 1972 ng isang Canadian computer scientist. Ang taong ito ay si Brian Wilson Kernighan. Ginamit ito ni Kernighan noon sa isang documentation para sa Basic Combined Programming Language na siya namang na-develop ng kasamahan niyang si Martin Richards. At nang tanungin sa isang interview ng Forbes India Magazine (2011), “C has probably the most famous computer program in the world that prints ‘Hello, World’ on the screen? Why did you choose those words?” sinagot ito ni Kernighan at sinabing, “Memory is dim now. What I do remember is that I had seen a cartoon that showed an egg and a chick and the chick was saying, “Hello, world”.