I'm King of These Woods Baby!

A variant of Skedaddle Snailpillar, who is currently guardian of a strangely familiar forest...

[theguardiansnailpillar]

Yo! what's good my dudes? Don't really know if this is reaching anyone, but hey. S'worth a shot, right?

I'm Skedaddle Snailpillar, and for the next…like, forever I guess…these woods are where I live. The why's not really important, don't worry about that. But yeah, I'm in charge of keeping this place safe and healthy, which lucky for you happens to be what I'm good at.

And lucky for me I found this thing in one of the old buildings (think it might've been a post office?) and if I've fixed it up right, I should be able to send and receive some messages!

gonna lay down some groundwork rules first though. Don't want anyone harshing the vibes.

No NSFW or romancey-type stuff. That's just not really my bag.

Obviously don't send me hatemail, and that includes hating on other people. This is a positive place, we don't judge.

In general man, just…don't be weird I guess.

So like, write me back if you see this! The squirrels kinda suck at holding a conversation, so it'd be cool if I can actually talk to someone again.

[theguardiansnailpillar]

"Oh pookie...the only one lying here is you. Why don't we see what your little "friends" think of that awful secret of yours ;)"

*the voice seems to come from everywhere and nowhere, and it definitely doesn't sound like him. Slowly, and moving in strange jerking motions, Forest stands up, picks the device off the ground, and begins walking back home without a word*

[theguardiansnailpillar]

[TAPE 04]

Wideshot of a beautifully decorated stage, unmistakeably the same one he's sitting behind. All the previous neighbors are there, wearing decorated masks of each other

Sally (on stage this time and wearing a Poppy mask): Friends! Home-ans, Countrymen. It is my esteemed honor to welcome to you tonight, our newest and most beautiful of guests, Miss H-

The screen cuts suddenly to error bars and glitching static

[END TAPE]

*Forest isn't even paying attention to the ending. He's grabbed the device and is marching outside, visibly shaking with rage*

"HOLLY!!!!"

*he screams the name into the sky. You didn't even know he could be this loud*

"YOU LIED TO ME! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THEM!? WHY AM I STILL HERE???"

*radio silence*

"ANSWER ME! YOU ghhhk"

*for some reason, the knife is now sticking out of his stomach, blood lazily trickling out as the hand that held it- his hand- goes limp. As he begins to lose consciousness, he chokes out the words*

"fuck...you..."

[theguardiansnailpillar]

Yes, this place used to be the neighborhood where a version of your cousin and his friends lived. Don't worry though, they're all gone now

"No! No, they're not and that's the problem! I knew I recognized them- they're the 'ghosts' I kill! And all along it's been..."

*he's openly sobbing now, but when the screen starts to glitch and spark he smacks it, his face shifting to one of anger*

"No...they're the ones she makes me kill."

*He shoves in another tape, growling*

"Why...have you been making...me do this..."

[theguardiansnailpillar]

[TAPE 03]

This time it's Sally, Julie, and the grey figure from before, all walking

Julie: do you think Howdy has all the stuff we need for this? What do you eve-"

*he pauses the video suddenly, a look of horror on his face* Did...did she just say what I think she did? *he rewinds the video*

-nk Howdy has all the stuff we need for this? What do you even need for something like this?

Sally: we'll need the finest fabrics of course! The best felt and thread and organza. Paints too, as Walliford mentioned. And the stuff for a proper stage setup!

Grey: well given how ostentatious your last shows have been, I don't doubt you'll be able to find everything we're looking for.

Sally: was that a compliment I heard, my dear Franklin?

Franklin: as close as you're getting from me.

The jingle of a shop doorbell is heard above them, and the camera pans to a tall green caterpillar, poised to wave to them in greeting but the video's been paused again.

[END TAPE]

"Oh...Oh God..."

*Forest is shaking like a leaf, eyes glued to the screen and a hand over his mouth. In the other hand, the TV's light illuminates a kitchen knife he's grasping tightly*

"I...no....nonono t-that can't be....is that why they looked so familiar???? Does that mean I...to them??????"

*he sobs and swallows hard*

"I think I'm gonna be sick."

[theguardiansnailpillar]

[TAPE 02]

This one opens on the yellow man before sitting at a table in front of his house, intently drawing something.

Sally: good morning Walliford! What are working on today?

Walliford: oh hello Sally. Home and I were talking about earlier, when they mentioned she wanted to play with you. Apparently they kept thinking about it, and wanted to know what she'd look like as a person.

He goes to hold up the paper he's drawing on, but the video cuts weirdly just as he's showing it.

(What was that about?)

Sally: she looks quite lovely Wally, I think you've done a fine job of capturing them!

Wally/Walliford: You think so? Thank you, I-I did try my best. What do you think Home?

Excited creaking and banging from the house. Wally's expression lights up.

Wally: she loves it! Oh, what's that? Huh...you think so? Wait, you can...

The rest of his speech fades out as Sally waves goodbye and sets off elsewhere.

[END TAPE]

Huh, so I wasn't just like, imagining that from the first one. The house is...alive, I guess? Weird, never heard of that before...

also why do these guys feel...familiar somehow...and what was with that jump in the footage?

[theguardiansnailpillar]

[TAPE 01]

The scene fades into view on a section of flat land, where several chalk drawings, towels, upside down buckets and such are arranged into a makeshift giant chessboard. Standing in the middle, a pink monster with lots of blonde hair is excitedly explaining the rules of this new game.

Pink Monster: so if you land on this spot, you gotta sing a whole song from memory, and if you mess it up we pelt you with water balloons.

Tall bird figure to one side: Oh dear Julie, isn't that a bit mean?

Camera holder: Poppy, darling, it's only water. A bit of harmless fun!

Orange man sitting on one of the buckets: so what happens if we get it right though?

Julie: more water balloons!

Grey figure, now appearing beside Poppy: that just defeats the whole point then! And it's not even close to how chess is played.

Julie: not regular chess, but this is Chess 3 and the rules are different! Eddie and Sally agree with me. (Both nod in confirmation)

several creaks and bangs come from the red house nearby, and everyone turns towards it and the small yellow man stood outside

Sally: what's Home's take on all of this? Agree or disagree?

Yellow Guy: oh, she's just saying they wish she could play with us. It looks like fun.

Julie: aww, I wish you could play with us too! The more the merrier!

[END TAPE]

"These must be the people who used to live here. Wow, heh...they all look so happy. Wish I coulda played with them too."

*he loads up another tape*

[theguardiansnailpillar]

"Nice, nice. It's still here. Just need to..."

*he sets everything down quietly, cautiously looking around before moving several boxes and bits of fabric to block the door and any light in the room. The space the TV's in is very small, likely once a dressing room or something of the sort, so there isn't much to cover up and before long he's set some old cushions down sat in front of the TV."

"Right then. We're, like, w-we're actually doing this. Ok. Umm...here we go..."

[theguardiansnailpillar]

What are you talking about? Who's she?

his hand slaps over the speaker of the device so quickly he seems to jumpscare himself with the sound. Body tensing, he looks sideways and down at its camera, silently shaking his head.

The message is clear. Don't speak about it.

He picks up the box and device, pausing a moment before also grabbing something from the kitchen. Then he steps outside into the chilly midday air.

[theguardiansnailpillar]

*He's back in the living room now, and back to his normal size and shape. The box of tapes is on the floor in front of him, and he can't stop staring at it*

"I...I don't know dudes...I really don't feel like this was a good idea...but it's too late to go back on it...

Should I watch them?

Yes

No

Voting ended onFeb 16, 2025

[theguardiansnailpillar]

"Ok so... s-so maybe. Maybe like, not here though...

she might see..."

*he thinks for a moment. He's still clearly scared, but it's being outweighed by curiousity, and some other unplaceable emotion that seems to steel his resolve. When he speaks again, it's a low mumble, as though he's trying not to be heard.*

"I think I saw like, a tiny little tv in the backstage of that theater. 'S far as I remember it'd probably still work, and it's out of the way of... well it's out of the house. We'll go there."

[theguardiansnailpillar]

*He's back in the living room now, and back to his normal size and shape. The box of tapes is on the floor in front of him, and he can't stop staring at it*

"I...I don't know dudes...I really don't feel like this was a good idea...but it's too late to go back on it...

Should I watch them?

Yes

No

Voting ended onFeb 16, 2025

[theguardiansnailpillar]

Should I still try to unlock the door? I-I don't know man, I mean...I gotta leave somehow but... *unintelligible* ...mad at me...

[theguardiansnailpillar]

Oh- oh fuck-

*he doesn't answer at first, but he is visibly shaking, fighting the urge to curl up and hide again*

"I...I don't like this....I really don't like this...this was a bad idea..."

[theguardiansnailpillar]

Looks like there’s a key in the lock!

"Huh?"

*he looks up and sees it*

"Oh yea, I think you're right! Hang on, I'll see if I can get up...there..."

*he's partway up the door when it shakes suddenly, making him freeze in place."

"...wh-"

BANGBANGBANGBANG

*The door starts shaking wildly, along with the rattling of the doorknob and the unmistakeable sounds of violent scratching from the other side. Something is trying to get in.*

[theguardiansnailpillar]

*the shaking continues for several minutes, seeming to only get louder and louder. He's putting all of his effort into desperately trying to not fall off, and only briefly glimpses down when he hears things cracking and splintering under him, catching the briefest blur as the tape he'd pushed over is snatched away.

Eventually, the rattling stops, and all that's left is a ringing silence and the chill in the air*

[theguardiansnailpillar]

Looks like there’s a key in the lock!

"Huh?"

*he looks up and sees it*

"Oh yea, I think you're right! Hang on, I'll see if I can get up...there..."

*he's partway up the door when it shakes suddenly, making him freeze in place."

"...wh-"

BANGBANGBANGBANG

*The door starts shaking wildly, along with the rattling of the doorknob and the unmistakeable sounds of violent scratching from the other side. Something is trying to get in.*

[theguardiansnailpillar]

Are those tapes? Do they have any labeling or identification on them?

As for how you could get them out, maybe try sliding them underneath the door one by one?

"They uhhh...I think some em have labels, but I can't really tell if they're still readable. Way too dark in here for that.

As for sliding them under the door, I can try it!"

*with a little effort, he manages to push one out of the box on to the floor, nudging it over to the door. Sadly, it's just a little too thick for that, but the light reflecting off part of the plastic briefly illuminates something key-shaped in the door lock*

"Aww dang, no dice :/ any other ideas?"

[theguardiansnailpillar]

Hey look at this! I wonder what's on these. Heh, maybe they're haunted ;)

I also wonder how I'm gonna get them out of here...the door's still locked, and I'm still small...hmmm...