Heffalump

[theheffalump]

I am just going to say. I HATE THE RAINBOW COLORS. My entire life I was told there were 7 colors of the rainbow. Shocker, THERE IS NOT!!! Everyone disputes me on this but hear me out. Everyone knows the primary colors. Red Blue Yellow. The secondary colors are Orange Green Purple. That there is a perfect rainbow, Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple. 6 colors. But then some people decided that Indigo belonged in the rainbow. It does not!! This has bugged me since I was 7, indigo is a tertiary color, if you include indigo, then you have to include red-orange, Orange-yellow, yellow-green, teal, and red-purple. But no one talks about them, only indigo. Thank you for listening to the rant

[theheffalump]

Everyone doubts the existence of Wyoming, but I think it’s a cover to hide the true nonexistent states. Nebraska, Kansas, and North Dakota. They’re suspiciously known for nothing happening. Ohio is on the list too. These states aren’t real and covering for Area 468-397 or GOV EXP.

[theheffalump]

Idea. As many know, the range of people born in 1999-2004 have never truest associated with either millennials or gen Z. We don’t eat tide pods, but are too young to remember the 90’s. As we are now the age range most affected by COVID-19 and this event will be the turning point in our lives I have a proposition. We will now be known as the QuaranTEENS. Alternatively Gen-19.

[theheffalump]

Do people realize that recovered people can’t spread COVID? Like... if everyone in America or on earth stayed home 24/7 for 2 weeks, everyone sick would be recovered (or dead, dead people also don’t spread it) , thus erraticating the disease. I’m no health professor but... like... stop hashtagging #5feetapart#lol#eocialdistancing you are not distancing anything. You are leaving your house, could come in contact with a metal pole that an infected person coughed on yesterday and boom your infected just stay home. We can literally get rid of this... I think.

[theheffalump]

You die. Congrats!

You were a good person. Congrats!

Angel: Welcome to Choice! Behind me there are two doors, as a Good Person, you get to choose. Behind the green door is all of your family, friends, pets, and loved ones. Either spend eternity with them. Or. The orange door. Behind the orange door is the bad place, there, is your enemies, and every evil human to have existed. You get to torture them. Choose wisely.

[theheffalump]

How to graduate online:

Press Space to walk

Press A to shake hands

Press S to accept diploma

Press K to trip on the stage

Press WASDUHJK at the same time to do a backflip

Press ENTER to throw your cap

And type WAITT to go into the highschool musical flash mob of we’re all in this together

[theheffalump]

I am udderly convinced that people who dislike yellow starbursts are afraid of flavor.

[theheffalump]

I have discovered adulting, you can make your own cream by mixing 1 part butter and 3 parts milk. Melt mix and boom cream.

[theheffalump]

Y’all want trash advice?

Whenever you want to say “oh my god” “on my way” or whatever we as a internet society has converted into an acronym. Pronounce the acronym.

My favorite examples include “Rolf” “omg” “lmao” “wtf” “ffs”

You just pronounce as ‘roll-f’ ‘oh-mng’ ‘lemaow’ ‘wh-ti-if’ ‘F-F’s’

Watch as your friends and family hate you!

[theheffalump]

MORE QUOTES

“Hop that pony and ride!”

“You could easily kill a one yr old”

“Guide is to safety Captain Crunch”

“Can give me a quota on how much this quote’s gonna cost? Can you quote this quote, can you quote unquote this coke”

Follow for more

[theheffalump]

I’m gonna start something

Here’s some things I’ve quoted from people in my very Christian town and theatre dept

“I’m throwing a rager and he’s throwing a Mormon rager”

“That’s skittles racist”

“If I was r*ped with a sword I’d kick a three year old”

“Are you caressing my liver?”

I’ve got a million of these

[theheffalump]

ALL MY FRIENDS ARE SI/SUICIDAL AND IDK WHAT TO DO

[theheffalump]

Y’all

Have y’all ever hit your head so hard that you don’t like the guy you’ve had a mind numbing crush on for 6 months??? No? Just me? Do I have a concussion? Probably.

[theheffalump]

Everyone who skis has had a yard sale before (when you crash hard enough that you lose your poles and skiis) but little known fact: you can yardsale on a snowboard too, except it isn’t your snowboard that comes off. It’s your helmet, goggles, and gloves. I learned this yesterday

[theheffalump]

Psa

When the natural flirt of the school doesn’t flirt with you, they’re either trying to flirt, or they hate you, good luck

[theheffalump]

Question

How can I find a video someone put on YouTube of me, I don’t know their channel or what it’s titled.