honestly as a mlm i find it really saddening to see how poorly represented wlw are in media. it’s really difficult to argue on the topic because a lot of the time both sides are told to just appreciate what’s been given to us, but it’s really hard if one side is misrepresented, especially over and over again. for mlm it’s easy to gravitate more towards media that represents them than it is to gravitate towards media that represents wlw; because a lot of the time it’s people who tend to fetishize those groups. the whole movement of “killing toxic masculinity” is amazing and lovely but at the same time, people take that too much into consideration when it comes to mlm representation, creating a new way of thinking. because men are traditionally seen as superior, and better, it’s only logical for mlm representation to gain the highest of praise- even from women (i say only women because cishet women and uh…yikes fetishization).
but when it comes down to wlw representation, all of us hardly see wlw represented correctly or well enough and that really bothers me. women are seen as “demons” or “lustful” and the fact that lesbianism has a new way of being perceived, to the thanks of cishet men, only adds to the problem wlw have with being represented in media. the reason why we say that wlw have it harder is because women are demonized, and still treated so poorly, their love is only ever seen as sexual when it’s between one another and hell, it’s even terrifying for some wlw to actually identify as lesbian because they feel ashamed, because to them the word is associated with the sexualization they face on a day-to-day basis.
and yes, i know what i’m using as an example is fictional, but think about it: when it comes down to b*kud*ku, and c*tr*d*ra, it’s really easy for people to gravitate more of their attention towards b*kud*ku, because it’s so heavily controversial but also because it’s a mlm ship. when it’s c*tr*d*ra, you don’t see a ton of controversy over it, or a ton of people talking about it- there’s still lots of negative emotions people have towards it, but primarily it’s because they see it as abusive or inc*stuous. and that’s because women/wlw are demonized, and the second they have an issue in their relationship, it’s seen as harmful and disgusting and if you support it you’re terrible. when it’s mlm, it’s not exactly completely seen that way.
i love to see all groups, lgbt, poc, neurodivergent, disabled, religions, whatever the case may be- i love to see all groups represented. however, when it comes down to who has it better: wlw or mlm, i have to say mlm. and i’m not proud to say that, because i want the representation for both sides to be equal. it hurts me to see that my wlw friends aren’t properly recognized or represented for who they truly are and how they show their love towards other women/women-aligned folk and how that upsets them.
tl;dr when it comes to mlm they get more praise because it has always been the way of thinking that men are superior and wlw don’t get enough praise because women are far more demonized than we think and wlw are often overlooked as being inherently sexual or lustful.
