The Ink Pros: Grammar Whisperers

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146 posts

[theinkpros]

A THANK YOU NOTE

To our followers, we appreciate your support. However, due to a few technical issues we've encountered, we have moved The Ink Pros blog to www.theinkprsoblog.com. Please follow us there for new content from the Grammar Whisperers.

Thank you.

[theinkpros]

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.

Mark Twain

[theinkpros]

THE WORD VAULT: Cornucopia

Every time I hear the word CORNUCOPIA some bizarre film reel begins to play in my head featuring a bunch of women wearing long dresses and white bonnets and a bunch of men wearing high hats, short pants, and unattractive belt-buckle shoes, all hastening to a harvest feast.

In other words, the word brings Thanksgiving to mind and more specifically, a horn-shaped basket from which an abundance of fruits, vegetables and other harvest products spill forth.

It appears I’m not entirely right. Evidently, male pilgrims didn’t wear unattractive belt-buckle shoes; the colonial dudes did. But I digress.

Said to have originated in classic Greek Mythology, CORNUCOPIA was purportedly attributed to several myths the most prevalent of which involved sweet baby Zeus and his old goat of a nursemaid. Evidently,sweet baby Zeus was born into one hell of a dysfunctional family.

First, we have Zeus’ dad, Cronus, the leader of the Titans suffering from severe paranoia and serious mommy issues. It appears that Cronus’ mom, Gaia, got a tad pissed with dad, Uranus, and decided she no longer had any use for him. Sounds like an episode of Snapped. So she gathered her sons together and told them of her plan. Cronus, a resentful lad, volunteered to do the deed and with a sickle provided by Mommy Dearest murdered his dad in the worst way imaginable: castration. Ouch!  Sounds like an episode of Criminal Minds. Then Cronus crowed, “I’m King of the World” and called dibs on his sister, Rhea. Sounds like an episode of a new reality show in production.

Mommy Dearest then tells Cronus that, in karmic retribution, his sons would overthrow him. Cronus yelled, “not going to happen” then devoured five of his offspring at birth just to in case. Sounds like All My Children.

By her sixth pregnancy, Rhea, whose intellect is rivaled only by garden tools, decided “not going to happen…again” and enlisted Mommy Dearest’s help. Mommy Dearest – a piece of work, let me tell you – said, “sure, why not!” and sent Rhea to Crete. There, Rhea gives birth to Zeus in a cave and then leaves him with an old goat named Amalthea. Uh huh! She then heads back to Cronus, pretends to give birth and hands him a blanket-wrapped rock which he promptly swallows. Sounds like a commercial for Prilosec.

Meanwhile, back at the cave, sweet baby Zeus playfully broke off one of Amalthea’s horns.  Sounds like Problem Child. Magic ensued, and the horn gained the divine power to provide endless nourishment to foster the world as Amalthea did for sweet baby Zeus.  

And following this cornucopia of drama, Zeus grew up and per Mommy Dearest’s prophecy got his father back in spades, ensuring no one lived happily ever after.

Hence, the origin of cornucopia.

[theinkpros]

The reason there's a question mark on my front door is just in case I forget my address.

 -Leslie Nielsen

[theinkpros]

PUNCTUATION PACK: The Question Mark

On the heels of the beta pair, the question mark is a member of the enforcer corps of the Punctuation Pack. Big and brawny, QM’s expertise is in the field of interrogation. QM likes keeping people guessing. When the big guns are needed, even the alpha period steps aside. Crafty and cunning, QM lies in wait, popping up when all is said and done. QM wants answers and understands the weight of the direct question.

He can do it the easy way by lulling one into a state of comfort and inviting conversation: How are you feeling today?

Or the hard way in an apologetic demand: What do you want from our

pack?

This badass doesn’t have the temerity to deal with indirect questions. Way too passive for him. QM prefers to leave those to his alpha:  He asked me how I was feeling.

[theinkpros]

HUMP DAY: The Descent Off Mount Work Week

Well, it’s Hump Day, which means you’ve spent the last two days climbing Mount Work Week. Now, you've reached the summit. From this vantage point, you can see the horizon, and you can just imagine what’s beyond. Humph! Maybe it’s me, but the whole Hump Day imagery strikes me as gloomy.

You see what I mean.

So in a diligent search for some optimism in all this madness, we’ve come to the conclusion that this day should be called PUNCTUATE DAY – much more hopeful, don’t you think?

To distract you from the steadily building stress as you plot your Mount Work Week descent, here is our regularly scheduled spotlight on PUNCTUATION from the perspective of wolf pack.  

[theinkpros]

If guns kill people, then pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk, and spoons make you fat.

    -Will Ferrell

[theinkpros]

TYPO TUESDAY: 5 Oft-Misspelled Words

INDICTED – Forget judgment, this word here – INDICTED – and its variations (INDICT, INDICTMENT) carry weight. We see and hear it everywhere. Once just an ordinary word, this esteemed member often found in legal jargon burst onto the scene like the IPhone. Now it’s a friggin’ celebrity, its popularity growing exponentially with the surge in courtroom and crime dramas, forensic shows and, of course, with our rampant curiosity in the illegal shenanigans of real people trapped in the blood-sucking vortex of news media. It’s a little like ACQUITTED, except it’s not. Seems the only place it hasn’t ventured is reality television. Give it time.

So is this fame a function of our greater access to news or an indicator pointing toward our collective descent into moral hell? Who can tell? What we do know is that INDICTED draws plenty of suspicion as it doesn’t sound as it appears; reason enough for this nefarious word to stand before the court of opinion.

First, INDICTED – the past tense of the verb INDICT – means formally accused of wrongdoing, or charged with an offense or crime, as in The grand jury indicted him on fraud charges.

Now, one would imagine that INDICTED might sound like predicted, convicted, or interdicted because of its spelling.  It doesn’t. Rather INDICTED sounds like INDITED, an obscure verb meaning composed or wrote, as in a poem. In other words, the c in INDICTED is silent. And that is the core of the matter. Some might say blame Latin for the silent c – also seen in muscle, scissor, ACQUIT and of course, INDICT. In truth, the blame lies with the French.

INDICT is derived from Latin in dictare, meaning to say or compose in words – a clue to the relationship between INDITE and INDICT, a variant of INDITE.  However, a shift into Medieval Latin indictare also subtly shifted the meaning to declare or proclaim in writing. Old French (C. 1066) grabbed hold and replaced indictare with enditer meaning to dictate or inform. The Norman French (C. 1278) followed the practice until Middle English brought the Medieval Latin indictare back and assigned the current definition: to accuse.

Both INDICT and INDITE are influenced by Latin, but INDICT achieves its spelling from Medieval Latin (indictare) while INDITE blends the Latin prefix (in) with the French root (dite).    

So remember when you INDICT the silent c, you’ll never go wrong.

Humans and animals BREATHE In air. Dragons BREATHE out fire. Natural fabrics BREATHE by allowing air and moisture to pass through while wine BREATHES when exposed to air. The point is none of these things BREATH.

The reason:

BREATHE, derived from the Middle English brethen is the verb relaying an action of inhaling and exhaling air, or oxygen, into the lungs through the nose, or mouth (hence, the term mouth-BREATHEr).

I write for the same reason I BREATHE - because if I didn't, I would die. -Isaac Asimov

On the other hand, BREATH, derived from Old English bræth meaning smell, is the noun describing what flows in and out of your nose, mouth or, in the case of the rather ghoulish Stop Smoking commercials, a tracheotomy tube. 

All good writing is swimming under water and holding your BREATH.

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

BREATH should not be confused with BREADTH, a noun that means width, size in general, or freedom from narrow-mindedness. 

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.

-Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Go FOURTH and multiply. Regrettably, we saw this statement just last week in a published novel. We tried to get past it, but we just couldn’t. So where to begin?  Well, Go FORTH and multiply is an oft-repeated line found in the Bible, except it’s NOT in the Bible. Yep. It doesn’t exist. We can only assume it’s some delusional twist on Genesis 1:22: And God blessed them, saying Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth. A cautionary tale it is to blindly follow words that simply don’t exist. Perhaps, go forth and read might serve one better.

And now for the gargantuan purple elephant in the room… " width="211" data-cke-saved-src="http://www.theinkprosblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Purple-Elephant.jpg" hspace="10" align="RIGHT">

It goes without saying that one can go FOURTH instead of first or second or even third. But why would one ever want to? In other words, FOURTH is the ordinal number for FOUR as in 4. 

However, if one intends to move forward, one shouldn’t settle for FOURTH. Instead, one should strive to go FORTH in the hopes that one might be first. And even if one ends up second, it’s better than FOURTH.

So to avoid confusion consider that, on the FOURTH of July, many Americans celebrate their independence by going FORTH to barbecues, picnics and beach parties where they copiously consume and imbibe before oohing and ahhing over colorful fireworks.

The true adventurer goes forth aimless and uncalculating to meet and greet unknown fate.

~O. Henry

LIGHTNING – One well-known idiom is that LIGHTNING – you know those pretty flashes of light before, during or after a storm – never strikes the same spot twice. It’s a myth like tossing a coin off the Empire State Building and killing someone. In fact, the Empire State Building gets struck by LIGHTNING more than 50 times a year and tossing a coin off of it won’t kill someone; it’ll just piss them off because it will probably feel a little like a LIGHTNING strike. 

Though it’s true that LIGHTNING is a Middle English variant of LIGHTENING, these words have different meanings. So when referring to the noun, the adjective or in rare cases, a verb related to those pretty flashes of light before, during or after a storm, spell it LIGHTNING.

However, the noun LIGHTENING is actually a term used in medicine referring to the uterine descent at the end stages of pregnancy. In fact, using LIGHTENING to indicate the brightening or illumination of something is considered archaic. So unless you’re in the medical field referring to an expectant mother, stick with brightening.

GRAMMAR – We’re almost certain that the reason GRAMMAR is often misspelled GRAMMER is because of the place where everyone >knows your name and Kelsey Grammer. Almost. There’s really nothing more to say except GRAMMAR when spelled correctly only uses one vowel: a

[theinkpros]

It’s Typo Tuesday. As editors, we view typos like prison guards watch shady felons in Pelican Bay. Indeed, they’re everywhere but as long as we keep a close eye on the situation, we’ll get through the day. Pay close attention to this week’s five offenders coming up for release.

[theinkpros]

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

-Mark Twain

[theinkpros]

COMMONLY CONFUSED WORDS: Pray vs. Prey

In the previous post featuring the commonly confused words: CAPITOL and CAPITAL, we ignored the well-known maxim to “never talk about: religion, politics, and money in polite company” delving into 66.66% of that maxim without apology. We’re on a roll so why stop now. At least one of the commonly confused words involves something people do when in search of spiritual guidance.  If you’re at the moment scratching your head, herein is the reason the words PRAY and PREY are commonly confused and therefore, commonly misused.

  Indeed, PRAY and PREY sound alike, and they are spelled similarly. However, if preying on the weak is on your bucket list, might I suggest that you fall to your knees and pray for forgiveness, you predatory piece of slime.

Here’s why: 

Derived from the Latin precārī meaning to beg, PRAY is a verb that means to offer devout petition, praise, or thanks. It stems from the noun, prayer meaning a devout appeal to or a religious communion with an object of worship.

  Synonym: beseech, entreat, to call upon

Antonym: N/A

Ex: In his darkest hours, he thought to go to the chapel to pray.

PRAY also means to make petition or supplication.

Synonym: plead, implore

Antonym: N/A

Ex: She prayed to the judge for leniency.

 On the other hand, PREY derived from the Latin praeda meaning booty (and not hindparts), is a verb and a noun in an entirely different stratosphere from PRAY.

As a verb:

PREY implies the brutal action of a predator. It means to seize and devour the noun PREY.

In the animal kingdom, a carnivorous predator hunts and kills other animals for food. As apex predators rank in the upper echelons of the food chain, they are generally not considered PREY…except by humans. Some examples of apex predators are lions, tigers, bears (oh my), wolves, and great white sharks. In other words, any animal with really big teeth and/or claws or talons (birds of prey) rank as apex predators. 

Ex: Wolves preying on livestock have placed them in the cross-hairs of ranchers.

Synonym: trap, pounce, swoop

Antonym: surrender, release

  PREY also means to exert a harmful or damaging impact or terrorize another or others.

Ex: Men and women who take their pleasure by preying on the innocent should be shot full of lead.

Synonym: abuse, victimize, exploit

Antonym: protect, support

PREY also means to attack for booty or plunder.

Ex: The History Channel’s Vikings showed how the Vikings preyed on coastal settlements.

As a noun:

  PREY means an animal hunted for food or a person/thing that is the victim of a predator (enemy, criminal, disease, etc.)

  Synonym: quarry, victim, target

Antonym: hunter, predator

  Ex: Pay attention to your surroundings so as not to become prey for unsavory types.

Ex: The gazelle seems to be universal prey for all apex predators in the savannah.

BOTTOM LINE:

Double-check the synonym.

[theinkpros]

Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.

~E.L. Doctorow

[theinkpros]

It’s the Cringe Interlude, when all mistakes made the weekend past haunts you in HD. Sip your AM drink, numb your pain, and remember Mark Twain: Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

[theinkpros]

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

Mark Twain

[theinkpros]

LYRICS OF SPEECH: Adjectives

Simply speaking, the ADJECTIVE -- ultimately derived from the Late Latin adjectīvum meaning "to add" and "to throw"–- describes, clarifies, or qualifies. ADJECTIVES are the gossips that Bonnie Raitt assures us have Something To Talk About. Without apology, they see fit to tell us all we need to know about a noun or noun phrase1.  Psst!  They summon you to them before using an arsenal of more than 1100 words to describe, clarify or qualify size, origin, condition, number, shape, color, attractiveness, and age. They strive to remain positive in form, but sometimes they just can’t help themselves, infusing drama with comparatives (-er) or going for broke with superlatives (-est).   

But it doesn’t end there because in the abode of the ADJECTIVES (right next door to the Adverbs) lives: attributive adjectives, predicative adjectives, postpositive adjectives, nominal adjectives, and absolute adjectives.

1A noun phrase is one that includes a noun accompanied by modifiers, determiners (the, a, his) and/or complements. The best way to identify a noun phase is to replace it with a pronoun (he, his, she, her, they, their, it, we, our, etc.).

So even if the Zac Brown Band is stuck in Colder Weather and Tracy Chapman wonders if you got A Fast Car; U2 cautions you not to let a Beautiful Day get away.

An adjective immediately following its noun/noun phrase is a POSTPOSITIVE ADJECTIVE while one following its noun/noun phrase and a verb is a PREDICATIVE ADJECTIVE.

Tell Me Something Good, Rufus & Chaka Khan demands postpositively, while Sugarland marvels about Something More and Martha Wainwright tearfully mourns about Everything Wrong. Still there’s little doubt that in celebrating a new day, a new life, Nina Simone is predicatively Feeling Good.

A NOMINAL ADJECTIVE is used to describe a class attribute of a people (the poor), a place (the green), or a thing or idea (the good), and shares some traits of nouns and some of adjectives.

A NOMINAL ADJECTIVE is also be used to describe nationalities as in David Bowie’s Young Americans.

A NOMINAL ADJECTIVE’s noun traits include the presence of a determiner (often ‘the’ definite article) and may themselves be modified by adjectives. (Billy Joel’s Only the Good Die Young,’ incorporates attributive adjective + determiner + nominal adjective + verb + predicative adjective.)

Their adjectival traits also allow them to take on intensive adjectives (very, for example) and/or the comparative (-er) and superlative (-est) forms. Whitney Houston’s The Greatest Love of All incorporates a determiner + nominal adjective (superlative) + noun + preposition + predicative adjective, where the preposition + predicative adjective (of+all) define a class of love.

An ABSOLUTE ADJECTIVE is an adjective that expresses an idea that cannot usually be intensified, compared or graded. Technically, the ABSOLUTE ADJECTIVE should not have comparative or superlative forms. In other words, deader which means utterly dead shouldn’t exist, but tell that to the simile: deader than a doornail (which really makes no sense).

Examples of ABSOLUTE ADJECTIVES include absolute, perfect, complete, impossible, principal, adequate, inevitable, sufficient, complete, main, fun, supreme, whole, unavoidable, entire, minor, fatal, unique, final, universal, ideal, preferable, and dead.       

Technically, the ABSOLUTE ADJECTIVE shouldn’t be intensified with more or most but tell that George Bernard Shaw who quipped:  Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.

So while Megadeth doesn’t want to Wake Up Dead and Guns N' Roses worry about Suzie sending Dead Flowers, Panic at the Disco wonders if you’ll dance to this beat in the impossible extreme of Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off.

SO HOW CAN YOU TELL WHAT’S AN ADJECTIVE?

(1) Find the noun(s) or noun phrase(s).

(2) Look for the words describing the noun(s) or noun phrase(s).

(3) If a word ends in –ly, it’s probably not an adjective (there are some exceptions like lovely). It’s the next-door neighbor. It’s important to remember that adverbs don’t always end in –ly and that some words (ex: fast) can take the same form whether they’re ADJECTIVES or adverbs.

(4) Look for the verb(s) in a sentence. Verbs show action or state of being. Replace verb in sentence with the correct form of to be. This will help you find any PREDICATE ADJECTIVES.

(5) Still not sure. Try placing ‘very’ in front of the word. Does it sound right? Then it’s probably an ADJECTIVE.

(6) Many ADJECTIVES end with these suffixes:

-able/-ible – Insatiable - Prince

-al – Logical Song - Supertramp

-an – American Woman - Lenny Kravitz

-ar –You Turn Clear In The Sun - Telekinesis

-ary2 - Starry Eyed – Ellie Goulding

-ate2  - Disparate Youth - Santigold

-ed – Complicated - Avril Lavigne

-ent – Magnificent – U2

-ful – Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong

-ic/-ical – Manic Monday - The Bangles

-ine – Masculine Women, Feminine Men - Frederick Hodges

-ile – Fertile Crescent – Bad Religion

-ive – Addictive  - Truth Hurts

-less – Endless Love – Diana Ross & Lionel Richie

-ous – Dangerous – Michael Jackson

-some – Are You Lonesome Tonight? - Elvis Presley

-y2 – Pretty Wings  - Maxwell

2Many adjectives end with these suffixes, but you need to be careful because many nouns, adverbs and verbs end with these suffixes as well.

So now as the chatty gossips return to their comfortable abode for a much-needed rest, pleased that you know a little something more about them.  Alas, Mark Twain said it best:

“I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English - it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don't let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in. When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them - then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are wide apart. An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get.”

[theinkpros]

COMMONLY MISUSED WORDS: Dessert vs. Desert

I adore dessert. Cake. Cupcakes. Ice cream. Crème Brulee. I often nix dinner and advance directly to dessert. And if caramel is present, I admit, I get aggressive. What can I say?

I abhor the desert, and I would cry if deserted in the desert. I’ve never been to the desert, mind you, but I’m sure I’d hate it. I’ve seen Casino; The Mummy 1, 2, and 3, and countless episodes of CSI which in my mind paints a clear enough visual to know desert living isn’t for me. Triple-digit temperatures. Sand for miles. Haboobs. Menacing tumbleweeds. And the ominous cow skull peeking out of a grainy grave. 

  See the difference. Dessert with two esses = sscrumptious confection. Desert with one ess = sandhell or an act perpetrated on your person that signifies terribly rotten luck.

Call me idealistic, but I believe people do understand the difference between something that adds calories, something that could suck the life from you, calories and all, and something no one wants to experience.

Yes, DESSERT and DESERT are similarly spelled, and in one case, sounds vaguely alike and in another, sounds identical. But it needs to end there.

  DESSERT pronounced [dih-ZURT] is a noun derived from French desservir meaning to clear the table. It simply means a sweet dish served as the final course of a meal – cake, pie, custard, fruit, pudding, ice cream, cookies, pastries, chocolate, or candies (a/k/a a feast for the eyes and a priest for the tummy).

Ex: I like to have coffee with my dessert.

  DESERT, pronounced [DEZ-urt] is a noun and an adjective derived from the Latin dēsertum meaning wasteland (a/k/a a feat for the eyes and a tweet crying ‘help!’)

As a noun, DESERT refers to a dry, barren, treeless region characterized by a lack of water and cultivation, or a place lacking in something.

Synonym: wasteland

Antonym: metropolis

Ex: The brutal beauty of the desert can be found in the silence and in the sky where the stars are brighter, and the sunsets steal your breath.

 Ex: After the economic crisis, Detroit has become a fiscal desert.

 As an adjective, DESERT, pronounced [DEZ-urt], means pertaining to a desert; occurring in the desert; designed for the desert

Synonym: desolate, barren

Antonym: populous, fertile

Ex: Under clear desert skies, she found her core of being.

 Ex: Desert Indians comprise several tribal groups that have lived in the Mojave Desert for the past 2000 years.

 Ex: He bought desert-hiking boots for his hike into the Phoenix desert.

However, DESERT, pronounced [dih-ZURT] – like DESSERT – is a verb derived from the Latin dēserere meaning to abandon. DESERT means to leave without intent to return; to run away from service or duty; to fail at a time of a need.

Synonym: ditch, forsake, quit, leave

Antonym: stay, support

 Ex: Her husband deserted her during her pregnancy.

 Ex: Due to harsh conditions, many of the troops deserted their posts.

 Ex: In times of need, true friends will never desert you.

Bottom line:

If it’s a noun and you can eat it, then it’s DESSERT.

If it’s a noun and over 100 degrees at noon, then it’s the DESERT.

If you can do it or have it done to you, then it’s the verb DESERT.

[theinkpros]

My attitude toward punctuation is that it ought to be as conventional as possible. The game of golf would lose a good deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. You ought to be able to show that you can do it a good deal better than anyone else with the regular tools before you have a license to bring in your own improvements.

Ernest Hemingway