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@theinnocenthavefallen-blog
Samandriel, an Angel of the Lord. Though some have taken to calling him Alfie. — He who sees…
Been out of the game for a while, but hella moved to a new blog! If you’ve missed me, come on over. If not, that’s cool too bc I’m not going to ever hate myself over a blog again, yeah? The innocenthavefallen is basically gonna be an archive now. I’ll probably make it redirect sooner or later but I can’t be bothered right now so ——.
Samandriel, an Angel of the Lord. Though some have taken to calling him Alfie. — He who sees…
Been out of the game for a while, but hella moved to a new blog! If you’ve missed me, come on over. If not, that’s cool too bc I’m not going to ever hate myself over a blog again, yeah? The innocenthavefallen is basically gonna be an archive now. I’ll probably make it redirect sooner or later but I can’t be bothered right now so ——.
Samandriel, an Angel of the Lord. Though some have taken to calling him Alfie. — He who sees…
Been out of the game for a while, but hella moved to a new blog! If you’ve missed me, come on over. If not, that’s cool too bc I’m not going to ever hate myself over a blog again, yeah? The innocenthavefallen is basically gonna be an archive now. I’ll probably make it redirect sooner or later but I can’t be bothered right now so ——.
Samandriel, an Angel of the Lord. Though some have taken to calling him Alfie. — He who sees…
Been out of the game for a while, but hella moved to a new blog! If you’ve missed me, come on over. If not, that’s cool too bc I’m not going to ever hate myself over a blog again, yeah? The innocenthavefallen is basically gonna be an archive now. I’ll probably make it redirect sooner or later but I can’t be bothered right now so ——.
Samandriel, an Angel of the Lord. Though some have taken to calling him Alfie. — He who sees…
Been out of the game for a while, but hella moved to a new blog! If you’ve missed me, come on over. If not, that’s cool too bc I’m not going to ever hate myself over a blog again, yeah? The innocenthavefallen is basically gonna be an archive now. I’ll probably make it redirect sooner or later but I can’t be bothered right now so ——.
Samandriel, an Angel of the Lord. Though some have taken to calling him Alfie. — He who sees…
Been out of the game for a while, but hella moved to a new blog! If you’ve missed me, come on over. If not, that’s cool too bc I’m not going to ever hate myself over a blog again, yeah? The innocenthavefallen is basically gonna be an archive now. I’ll probably make it redirect sooner or later but I can’t be bothered right now so ——.
Samandriel, an Angel of the Lord. Though some have taken to calling him Alfie. — He who sees…
Been out of the game for a while, but hella moved to a new blog! If you’ve missed me, come on over. If not, that’s cool too bc I’m not going to ever hate myself over a blog again, yeah? The innocenthavefallen is basically gonna be an archive now. I’ll probably make it redirect sooner or later but I can’t be bothered right now so ——.
Samandriel, an Angel of the Lord. Though some have taken to calling him Alfie. — He who sees...
Been out of the game for a while, but hella moved to a new blog! If you've missed me, come on over. If not, that's cool too bc I'm not going to ever hate myself over a blog again, yeah? The innocenthavefallen is basically gonna be an archive now. I'll probably make it redirect sooner or later but I can't be bothered right now so ——.
Dread and foreboding crept into the angel’s conscious. He knew he should have told him sooner… Much sooner. Before things between them could have evolved to such an intimate stage. What would he think when he found out his darkest secret? One he tried to bury - tried to run away from…?
His brother his friend now, his lover — his world.
He would, for lack of a better phrase, break his heart…
Shifting over onto his side to face him better, Castiel reached between them, searching in the blankets for Samandriel’s hand. Without having to peer into his mind, he could already tell the younger thought that this talk was being brought on by some fault of his own. He impulsively had to erase any guilt he might feel.
”I’m dying, Samandriel. My stolen grace is fading. ———— and I am afraid I do not have much time left…”
The ache that surged through his form at those words is familiar. From the tightness in his chest to the way his grace threatened to push against the skin of his vessel. He felt so vividly in that moment, as he often did in regard to Castiel. Samandriel recalled every time the other left Heaven and every announcement of his demise, but this was somehow worse.
Perhaps it was because he believed he knew. The fade of grace — The whispers among their ranks —.
Castiel was always running out of time, always leaving him to pick up the pieces.
He knew the other angel answered to a much higher calling, one that required sacrifice. Castiel was the only of them strong enough to give all of himself, to truly serve an absent father. Life was given as recompense on occasion, but now, with all sin committed in the name of the greater good, God seemed that much farther away. And Castiel that much closer to being lost to him.
Time and duty hardly paused for the likes of sentiment, but rationale did little to subside the hurt.
Samandriel could not explain how this became more than simple admiration, where the line blurred to something he believed his species incapable of experiencing. One thing he did know well was that the artists and the thinkers were right, as was he. To feel, to love, was indeed painful on more than one plane of existence.
"I knew of your grace, Castiel, but not of what fate you might suffer. There must be something we can do. To lose you now —— —— is something I do not wish to happen."
"Samandriel…"
"I—… I need to speak with you about… Something important."
"Castiel..." He sighed, closing his eyes for the briefest moment, mentally preparing himself for whatever the other angel wished to discuss.
There was little he could decipher from the tone and if he couldn't quite bring himself to look at the other, then that was all he had to go on. "...What is it you wish to speak of?"
9 x 23 ► Gadreel ♫ ♫
I liked him in the beginning for helping/healing Sam, then I hated him for making Dean tell Cas that he can’t stay in the bunker and what he did to Kevin, and then now I liked him again then he dies.
Samandriel - you were meant to retrieve the tablet - you ought to have sold the souls.
”The tablet—.” Samandriel began, words cut short. It was true that he had not completed the task assigned to him and despite his own thoughts regarding the actions taken, would have to answer for this perceived slight. His spine straightened as he faced Naomi, the current center of power in Heaven.
The explanation he offered was formulaic, as if he feared saying something wrong. “The importance of The Word, while great, I simply did not believe to rival that of the souls we guard in Heaven.” His gaze found the pristine floor beneath his feet before again rising to meet that of his superior. The angel pressed lips into a thin line, allowing a brief moment of silence, before resigning himself to whatever fate should be assigned for this failure.
”I was forced to pass judgement. I believe I made the right call, but even if I did not, the past remains an entity I cannot alter.”
She watches the weight of her disappointment settle across Samandriel’s shoulders, pin across his shoulder blades and draw him low. Satisfaction curled in her gut as Samandriel seemed to shrink before her. Naomi waits out Samandriel’s insistence that he is well-formed, and traces each flaw that she will pluck out between her fingertips. Samandriel should scream, she supposes. Proof that she can heal him. He is talking of perspective, as though he has one that is anything but aberration. Finally she stands, vessel taunt; "And you are in a position to judge whether or not the tablet - or the Prophet - is safe?" Naomi’s eyebrows raised warningly, "You lack rank to judge both your own actions, and whether or not you are damaged," Naomi slid round the desk, delicate click of heels, and she stood in front of him, "Samandriel, you will not fail again."
Naomi was a force to be reckoned with, formidable on all fronts, and beyond impregnable in terms of reign. The calm she established once taking over Heaven was eerie, yet welcomed, so it went without question. She was what Heaven needed and disappointing her had not been his intention, even as he shrunk under her gaze. There was only one right in the eyes of the other angel, and his actions did not fit the mold. Discipline was something to be expected. The form, however, remained unknown.
Eyes flickered toward her before his gaze trains the floor. He looked to her, a subtle clench in the jaw of his vessel.
His defense was thwarted in a few simple words. He would not argue, though, instead proceeding to explain the rationale of his actions. Surely that would not be condemned. “Linda Tran mentioned the death of our own in the name of protecting her son. — The Winchesters are just men, but it remains true that they have succeeded where others have failed. I do not think we could have forced ourselves on her or her son for the tablet.”
A part of him wanted to step back as she rounded the desk to stand before him. “I do not believe rank is of consequence when it comes to our duty as angels of the Lord. I am no seraph or archangel, but I could not justify the trade of the souls we are tasked to protect when there was another option. I assure you that there are others who would agree. — Castiel, for instance, if he was not…”
And he realized that he has said too much, the words trailing off before a declaration is made. "I am prepared to do what I must in recompense for my actions."
