"Good morning Ma." I greeted my mother once I entered the premises of the kitchen. Providing her with a quick peck to her right check, I then commenced to make my way over the see-through refrigerator to decide something to eat this morning. Once I arrived back in the states last night, I didn't even bother to eat this morning, I was so damn exhausted.
"Good morning figlio. You spent the night here last night?" My mother voiced as I placed the carton of eggs and a package of bacon unto the granite counter tops.
"Yeah, after my flight last night I was so tired I told Vincent to drop me off here since it was closer." I explained.
"Oh, what time did you get here?" She simply questioned.
"Uh.. around eight or so."
"I thought I heard some movement downstairs."
"My bad." I sheepishly confessed as I promptly grabbed a frying pot from one of the many cabinets that contained the two hundred square foot kitchen.
"So .. uh how your business trip go in Sicily?" My mother intently asked, her tone deeply expressing curiosity. Almost as if something was bothering her. Which is something that is rather habitual of her to act anytime I do something that's mafia related, but in this matter it seems as though more interest and concern is involved than usual.
"It was fine, business went smoothly." I casually said, even though it was completely far from the truth. I deliberately forgot to mention that my unit and I were basically on a high speed chase through the compact streets of Sicily due to the fact that we were being chased by an all black van and they were nearly shooting at us for thirty minutes maximum. Thank God, before I left my father commanded that the whole unit that works under us install bullet proof materials for all the forms of transportation. At first, I declined his absurd offer and thought the suggestion was just plain ridiculous and was a waste of money. I assumed that we've partaking in this lifestyle for so long that we were rather content with our safety mechanisms, but my father thought otherwise. He insisted the previous techniques were outdated. But being the insistent man he is, my father made sure the job was done with or without my consent. I'm damn happy he did though, we probably wouldn't have made it back here to the states.
I just didn't want my mother to worry herself sick about my safety. It's bad enough that she stays up through ungodly hours of the night just to make sure my father made it home in one piece, I don't want her doing the same for me. Even thought I know it's out of far beyond my control because I'm aware she already does.
"You're lying Anthony Russo. I overheard your father talking to Vincent about you and your unit being shot at as soon as you guys came off the plane. Oh mio dio figlio! Why didn't you say anything to me? You had me worried sick about you!" She cried out in despair. Suddenly, I placed an end to all activity and sat down next to her on the kitchen bar stool.
"Because Ma, I didn't want you to worry about me." I said in the company of an exasperating sigh.
"Worry about you? Anthony you're running this dangerous and cutthroat business, I think that's more that enough to worry about. Everyday, people are after you and you're father. What the hell am I supposed to do as a devoted wife and mother? Go shopping out on the town or have lunch dates with my friends?" She expressed. "Everyday is an emotional battle with me because I know my son and husband is out there when there's people out there that want you dead!"
"Ma, it's okay." I said while pulling her in for a warm embrace that she so desperately needed.
"No it's not figlio, when it comes to this business it's never going to be okay. Why can't you be like your brother and go to college and go study law or medicine, huh?. Ever since you two were born, I wanted to you guys to have a life normal as possible despite the family business."
"Sí caro, but your father was so glad that he had two boys that could possibly run the business, he was so happy and I didn't want to ruin that for him. But when your father found out that Marcelo wanted to live a normal life and go to college and become something, he was so furious at first but then realized that there was hope that you could possibly take after him, and here you are Ant. I never wanted you to live this life. I would hate to see your children experience some of the things you've experienced in this lifestyle. Having the FBI invade your entire house at four in the morning, pointing their guns at everyone or wondering every night if your father made it home. As a mother, I would hate to see those frightened expression on you guys' faces." She sadly admitted with silent tears streaming down her face. With my thumbs, I erased all the tears that dominated her impeccable face.
God, I hated seeing her cry.
I pulled her in a much tighter embrace and rubbed her back in a gesture to soothe her uneasiness.
"I mean, this is the life I never thought I'd end up living as well. I always thought that Marcelo being the eldest, he would be next in line to run the business and I would buy me a ticket in pursuing whatever I wanted. Like, I've always wanted to become a photographer. As long as you've known I loved to take pictures. I remember that one Christmas, when I was fourteen you guys brought me a camera. I thought it was the greatest thing since ice cream. I loved it so much." I said before my mother and I shared a hearty laugh.
"I remember that. God, you wouldn't put that thing down for nothing. I remember you putting one of those toy snakes on my face when I was napping, and then you waking me up just to capture a picture of me screaming." She said causing both of us to release minor chuckles. We sat in a calm moment of silence before I spoke:
"I never wanted to live like this. It's just every time I successfully complete a drop or a mission, the smile on Dad's face is .. priceless. I know he's very proud of my accomplishments, I mean he tells me almost every time I see him, but this isn't the life I want for myself. Even though I've been running this business over a little five years now, this lifestyle has already cost me so much, including the woman I love." I unintentionally professed.
"I'm guessing that would be my dear Kimberly."
"Yeah, how'd you know?" I inquired rather perplexed. I haven't told anyone regarding my feelings towards Kim.
"Oh, come on figlio. I've discern that little spark in your eyes every time you look at her. Or how you suddenly become two shades lighter every time she walks in the room, and how you can't go a day without talking to her. But why did this lifestyle stop you from going after Kim?"
"Because Mom, it would be unfair to her. If I were to pursue her it would bring so much danger her way, and I just can't stand the fact of putting her in danger and getting hurt when it could be so easily avoided just by simply keeping her in the the 'friend zone' so to speak." I reasoned.
"Ant if you felt this way about her, then why'd you encourage her to talk to that other guy?"
"Would it have made a difference if I hadn't Ma? I still couldn't have made her mines. And plus, I think Kimmy deserves it Mom. I mean, every time she talked about this kid you could so effortlessly discern the happiness laced in her voice, and why hinder her from happiness? That would be so cruel on my part as her best friend. She's been so depressed these past years because of what her parents did to her, and now she had a chance of happiness and I wasn't going to snatch it away from her. "
My mother and I stood in a comfortable silence as if she were taking in everything I just confessed.
"So what are you going to do now?" She asked.
"I think I'm going to tell Dad I don't want to work for the business and tell him I want to pursue photography." I confidently stated. I undoubtedly know that I'm going to receive a ten hour lecture from him but honestly I could care less. All along I've been living the life he wanted me to possess, but I think it's time I start making resolutions based on what I desire for myself and live my life for me.
"You sure you're up for that Ant?"
"I mean, yeah. I know he might get a little angry at me but I have to live my life for me, not for someone else because in the long run it'll just built more resentment and unhappiness and I'll just be mad at everyone."
"I'm so proud of you." She said before placing a kiss on my right cheek causing me to smile.
"Chris, stop it!" I commanded while adding a little swat to the back of Chris' hand for attempting to steal yet again another piece of bacon from my plate when he clearly still has bacon left on his plate.
I really don't understand this man.
"Ow!" He yelped. "Why must you hit so hard woman?" He groaned while making an effort to soothe the back of his hand.
"That'll teach you not to steal anymore food from me." I announced with a cheesy smile, but yet confident in my discipline methods.
"I can't help it, it's just so good." He moaned while basically stuffing his mouth with pancakes.
"Would you stop eating like a caveman. And plus there's much more bacon sitting in the kitchen, and plus you still have three more pieces sitting on your plate." I reasoned viably.
"I know, it's just yours seem to taste so much better." He said huskily while forming an intense gaze causing goosebumps to expand all throughout the surface of my skin. But then quickly realizing this just might be some type of mind game he's playing with me. My suspicions were quickly confirmed once I discerned movement of his tattooed hand creeping toward my plate in attempt to embezzle another piece.
"Dammit Kim!" he hissed after I popped his hand again causing me break out into fits of giggles.
"I tried to warn you Mr.Brown."
"I tried to warn you Mr.Brown." He said clearly mocking my tone of voice causing the two of us to snicker.
"So what you doing on this fine Saturday?" He asked after a minute of a comfortable silence consisting of the two of us finishing up our breakfast.
"I really hadn't planned anything. Why? What do you have in mind Christopher?" I inquired while placing my elbows on the table so that my hands would support my head, indicating my interest in the sudden conversation.
"Well, I wanted to take you out tonight." He suggested with a warm smile.
"Well, we haven't been to II Mullino yet. I've been craving for their food lately."
"No Kim, not like to going out get something to eat like we've been the past two weeks, I mean take you out.. on a date." I swear once he said those last three words, I wanted to run down 5th Ave. to tell everyone that someone finally asked me out on a date for the first time in my life. Chris Brown asking me on a date? I guess, I'll just wait for me to wake up out of this dream.
"H-huh?" I asked, then reality hit me that I was in fact not dreaming.
This is actually fucking happening!
"Did you hear what I said?"
"Uh.. y-yeah I-uh I heard." I suddenly became apprehensive as sweat coated the palms of my hands.
"So.. will you let me take you out tonight?" He asked, almost desperately might I add.
"Yes, O-of course." I replied with a wide grin. I probably look like a damn fool right now but I could care less, I'm going on my first date!
"Yeah, everything is fine. It's just.. just that I've never been asked out on a date before." I sheepishly admitted. And it's true. No other man has ever took any interest in me to actually ask me out on a real date. Well, except now.
"Wow, really?" He asked almost astonished.
"Yeah, I know you probably think I'm a loser with no life." I said while looking down and absently toying around with the leftover food on my plate.
"No, not really baby girl." He spoke, and for a second there I almost believed his response.
"Oh come on Chris, it's okay if you think that. I won't hold it against you." I said in the company of a lifeless giggle just before he reached over the table a took a hold of both of my hands and interlacing our fingers together. The single gesture alone was enough for crimson blush race to my face and dominate my cheeks.
"I'm serious Kim, I don't think that of you. If I thought that of you, I don't think I would be here. I just think of the fact that you've never been asked out by any man as an honor to me."
"How so?" I inquired, clearly intrigued by his response.
"Because it's an honor to be a first date to a woman as phenomenal you Kimberly Kardashian." At first, for some apparent reason I wanted to burst out into fits of laughter because the man is obviously crazy to think that him being my first date is an honor. But then I suddenly took into recognition that Chris was in fact serious as a heart attack.
"Oh Chris, I-I don't know what to say." I shyly spoke.
"You don't have to say anything baby girl, just let it happen." He announced before placing a simple but yet passionate kiss upon the surface of my lips.
Then the sudden thought hit me. If we go out on a date there's going be a mixture of fans and paparazzi following us. I don't think I'm ready to tell the entire world that Chris and I are 'dating'. They'll make fun of me and criticize me excessively.
God I don't think I'll ever get enough of those lips.
"You're leaving?" I disappointingly asked while rising out of my seat as well.
"Unfortunately, yes baby girl." He said as he grabbed his duffle bag from the couch and made his way in front of the door. Before he walked out, he turned around and spoke:
"I have some plans to make for our date tonight."
"What is there to plan, it's just going to be a simple dinner date right?"
"Baby, there's one things about Christopher Maurice Brown is he never does anything simple." He responded while pulling me by waist into his chest.
"Okay, so what do I wear Mr.Brown?" I inquired while I absently rubbed my hand on his tattooed chest. V-necks shirts is a really good look on him.
"Just wear something classy but yet sexy." He said huskily while his hand over my ass and giving it a hard squeeze making me involuntarily release a moan.
"Mhm, got you moaning already and the date hasn't even started yet." He spoke with that infamous cockily tone making me blush uncontrollably.
As soon as Chris left, I released a ear piercing squeal of excitement as I expeditiously sprinted up the stairs to prepare for my date tonight.