through suffering we find strength

independent multi-fandom, multi-muse blog. mun 21 +

[theirsuffering]

question:  i’m considering clearing all ( 82 ) of my drafts, and starting fresh. i miss my muses here but it’s too much. would you guys be okay with that?

[theirsuffering]

question:  i’m considering clearing all ( 82 ) of my drafts, and starting fresh. i miss my muses here but it’s too much. would you guys be okay with that?

[theirsuffering]

question:  i’m considering clearing all ( 82 ) of my drafts, and starting fresh. i miss my muses here but it’s too much. would you guys be okay with that?

[theirsuffering]

question:  i’m considering clearing all ( 82 ) of my drafts, and starting fresh. i miss my muses here but it’s too much. would you guys be okay with that?

[theirsuffering]

i’ve been bitten by the draco and dramione bug so at some point when i’m more knowledgeable on hp i may be adding draco as a muse to this blog.

[theirsuffering]

i just watched zootopia for the first time and i love love love judy hopps and i love the message of the movie and everythig nalkfndsl

[theirsuffering]

continued for @saviourisms <3

They had only been dating for a few weeks and she always made a promise not to go too fast with anyone. For Emma, it was solely because she believed her previous relationships were never serious enough, never felt like the guy was the one she could see herself being with in such an intimate way. She found herself being willing to go further when she invited Killian inside after their date, which was something she never did with guys in the past either. She found herself being willing to go further when they sat on the couch, when Killian kissed her, and when Emma kissed him back.

Emma couldn’t help but clench onto his shirt as she pulled him closer to her body, moving to straddle his hips and resting on his lap as the kiss she had bestowed on him deepened. “No.” Emma pulled away for a moment breathlessly and smiled down at him. “I don’t think so, Killian. Unless you think it’s too soon to do this?” Because if Emma was being honest with him, the whole reason for her wearing the dress she had on was for him to TAKE IT OFF.

          Her lips tasted sweet, sweeter than any alcohol that had ever passed his own ---- and that was saying something for him. Her touch left him wanting more, the way she so perfectly fit on his lap and the grip she had on his shirt... Everything about Emma was intoxicating in his mind, and of course, in answer to his question... He definitely didn’t want this to be too soon, for this to stop now that they had got going. 

          But... That being said... As much as Killian liked his fun and games with women --- he had quite the reputation that wasn’t exactly something he was proud of, but it was something he was good at and often filled the feeling of loneliness, he was also a gentleman. Would never force or pressure a woman into doing anything, and that’s why he’d asked.  “ If you say no, then as do I... I was just making sure, love. ”  Words were murmured quietly, since they were close, breaths mingling.

[theirsuffering]

poisondivy‌:

TREMAINE,  DRIZELLA. 

THERE  ARE  A  FEW  THINGS  drizella  can  do  right  now.  she  can  smile  &  nod,  walking  away  like  nothing  ever  happened.  she  can  just  right  now  ?  alice  doesn’t  know  her —  she can’t  possibly  be  that  upset.  the  last  thing  the  witch  should  be  doing  is  remaining  here  in front  of  the  blonde.  but  yet  here  she  remains  glued  to  the sidewalk,  paralyzed  from  the  waist  down.  

it  really  breaks  her  heart  to  hear  such  a  thing.  alice  was  always  noticed  in  drizellas  presence, in fact  she  was  the  only  one  that  ever  really counted.  alas  its  not  something  she  can  dwell  on  much  longer.  even  this  chance  meeting  is  putting  them  both  in  danger.  the  rules  are  clear.  zero  contact  &  alice  gets  to  live.  

she  remembers  offering  up  the  chance to  take  her  magic,  &  run  away  with  alice. the  promise  to  never  tell a  soul.  but  alice  would  still  have  her  memory  erased,  &  drizella  would  too.  it  was  easier  on  everyone  if  she  remained  a  witch.  her  punishment  being  pain,  forever  wondering  what  might  have  been.   ‘  maybe  in  another  life  you  did  ‘  

hands  dust  herself  off,  righting  her  uniform.  she  must  look  presentable,  act  like  this  is  any  strange  she  might  be  meeting.   ❛ i’m  alright  …. and   i  don’t  think  so.  i  think  i  would  recall  a  face  like  yours     ❜   how  she  manages  to  say  it  unphased  is  beyond  her.   again  she  has  the  chance  to  walk  away  but  she  still  stays,  every  second  counts.   ❛  do  i  remind  you  of  someone  ?    ❜  

          ‘ i would recall a face like yours. ’  ... what did that mean? what did she mean by that? alice’s attention focused itself on that statement, PART OF HER WANTING TO SMILE at the idea that maybe the dark haired woman was calling her pretty, or at least memorable ---- a vast difference from people just not seeing her at all. 

          but she didn’t fixate on that for too long, the other’s question cutting into alice’s thoughts, and for moments the muggle girl remained quiet, brows furrowing, head tilting as she studied the other’s features more, her eyes, lips, nose, the colour of her skin... EVERYTHING ABOUT HER seemed vaguely familiar and it was beginning to get frustrating that she couldn’t remember where from.

          “ i don’t... ---- i don’t know. i’m looking at you and... this probably sounds REALLY weird coming from a complete stranger but... i’m looking at you and it just FEELS like i know you from somewhere but... ”  sigh passed lips, she definitely sounded like she was crazy right now.  “ i don’t know... everything’s so foggy and muddled up. ”

          she could feel her stomach practically drop, knowing that even though she had only been open and honest about what was going on in her head, she probably seemed so ODD and this girl would probably just look at her like she had two heads like a lot of people did. that was one thing about alice, HER ECCENTRIC WAYS HADN’T CHANGED since the time they were six years old, out on the lawn with their dolls, even if she didn’t remember that. 

[theirsuffering]

poisondivy‌:

LONDON  RAIN  FALLS  AGAINST  the blacktop  as  she  walks.  heals  splashing  through  the  puddles.  its  been  an  eventful  morning, but  not  an uncommon  one.  drizella  always  dreamed  of  working  for  the  ministry  of  magic,  her  thirst for  knowledge  &  the  leather  bound  book  could  never  be  quenched  by  any other  means.  she  was  never  an  ambitious  individual,  she  just  new  what  she  wanted  but  wasn’t  willing  to  knock  people  down  to  get  it.    her  mothers  supported  her  in  her  dreams,  but  what  hurt  the  most  was  she  could  never  share  such  dreams  with  alice. 

insuperable  since  they  day  they  met.  two  eccentric  six  year  old  girls  playing  dollies  on  the  front  law.  the  sun  would  kiss  their   skin  as  they  played  well  into  the  hot  afternoons.  the  finer  days  they  were.  for  years  after  she  went  away  to  hogwarts  alice  &  her  kept  in  touch,  they  never  lost  the  spark.  her  mother  regina  liked  to  call  it  soulmates.  &  looking  at  how  happy  she  was  with  emma,  drizella  started  to  believe  there  might  be  such  a  thing.

she  never  considered  they  would  have  such  a  special  connection  that  extended  to  the  romantic  variety  but  when  she  was  15   that  all  changed.  alice  wanted  her  love  &  she  wanted  hers,  however  wrapped  up  in  lies   that  was  no  way  to  live.  —  showing  alice  her  ivory  wand  was  the  biggest  mistake  of  her  life.  

drizella  lost  the  one  person  she  couldn’t  live  without,  she lost  her own self   in  the  progress.  she  became  the  first  ever  hogwarts  students  to  change  houses.  her  7th  year  she  became  a  slytherin, she  was  no  longer  suited  as  a  ravenclaw.  she  had  a  goal  in  life,  forget  &  you  will  never  be  disappointed.  

dreams  lost,  soul  broken,  chances  shattered.  but  she  still  made  it.  still  made  it  to  the  doors  of  the  ministry  of  magic.  of  course  there  was  always  judgments  from  certain  individuals,  like  there  was  every  morning.  but  she  learned  to  move  past  it.   &  now  so  caught  up  in  the  pain  of  a  life  left  behind,  drizella  misses  the  blonde  woman  holding  the  tartan  umbrella ,  colliding  with  her instead.     

drizella  didn’t  need  a  time  turner  to  stop  the  world  now.  shes  frozen  in  place,  staring  into  those  deep  blue  orbs  wondering  if  she  fell  asleep  at  the  desk  once  again.     ❛   sorry  i…  i  didn’t  see  you    ❜   

@theirsuffering​

          alice didn’t know a thing about magic or wizards or witches. sure, a lot of fantasy and wondering existed in her head, sometimes it felt like the stories and the characters that she made up in her head were her only friends. she didn’t know anything about the fact that they really existed. well... once, SHE HAD KNOWN.  there had been a day, when drizella was back from boarding school and they were spending as much time as they possibly could together, both knowing that she would be going back, and things had began to turn into something else. that love of friendship developing into FEELINGS, that realization, now that she was older, that she didn’t want a LIFE WITHOUT DRIZELLA in it.... drizella had told her, had shown her the wand, something she shouldn’t have known, and they both suffered for that. well... alice lost drizella, but she didn’t just lose her, she didn’t know her anymore, didn’t have any memories of her to look back on. it was like she had never had that connection, that friend, that SOUL MATE.

          now she was just still living at home with her father, just the two of them like it always had been. he wasn’t just her papa, he was her best friend, ALL SHE HAD, really.

          when she’d first felt the other person’s body collide with her, sigh passed her lips, it wasn’t exactly something new, no one ever seemed to pay any attention to her and that was just part of life that she was trying to get used to. even if she hated it. hated that she just seemed INVISIBLE to everyone.

          but when she looked at the other woman, who had ran into her, saw the way she was then staring right into her own gaze... it felt, weird? not necessarily in a bad way, but whatever way it was, alice couldn’t figure it out. it felt like... like she knew her, from somewhere she just didn’t know where. like she had seen those eyes before but as much as she tried to rack her brains there and then, it was all just so FOGGY AND HAZY in her mind. she couldn’t remember where she’d seen her before. 

          “ it’s fine... ---- most people don’t. ”  the blonde responded, lips pressing together and shoulders gave a shrug, hand still gripping the umbrella, keeping it over her head.  “ are you okay...? do i --- do i know you? ”  probably a weird question, but then again, MOST PEOPLE FOUND ALICE A LITTLE WEIRD.

[theirsuffering]

shefiights‌:

          carol didn’t know  if she was going to come back or not.  there was part of her that still didn’t feel welcome back here.  they may have mended everything that went wrong, but she still felt like she didn’t belong anymore.  ❛ i don’t know…  the kingdom, henry…  they need me. ❜  but she didn’t want to leave daryl behind.  she wanted him to come with her, if he would.  the kingdom could maybe be good for him.  ❛ you could come with me, you know…  ezekiel wouldn’t mind having you there at all. ❜

          “ what ‘bout us? ”  he questioned, not liking how she already seemed hesitant, or already like her mind was made up, that she wanted to go back to the kingdom.  “ everyone at alexandria. y’think we don’ need ya? we’re y’family, carol. ”  he didn’t know if he could cope with being at the kngdom. it had been bad enough adjusting to alexandria in the first place. but the kingdom, all the acting, the bullshit? it really wasn’t his kind of thing, whether or not they were good people.

[darkcolinodonorgasm]

Colin O’Donoghue in What Still Remains 14/?

[theirsuffering]

hoodjunior‌:

@theirsuffering continued from [x]

   ❛  WHY? – ❜ RoRobin was furious. This girl had come in, come in late and untrained and without sacrificing a single thing and she was already far above half the other girls in the eyes of mother Gothel. Robin didn’t care that she was Gothel’s daughter. “Do you seriously not know how I could have a problem with you?” She spun on the girl behind her, bite and fury in her own voice. “You come in here, knowing nothing – I don’t care that she’s your mother. I gave up my mother, my life with her, to be here to train because your mother told us it didn’t  matter. And now you’re here and just like that everything I worked for has changed. Don’t you dare turn around on me and ask me why I’m mad, like I’m not allowed to be mad, like you didn’t steal everything”

          “ I didn’t... ”  It wasn’t like Alice had come into this with the intention of stealing anything from anyone, or making anyone feel bad or mad... She had simply wanted to finally belong to something, be part of a family, like this was supposed to be. Her mother, and these girls her sisters... But nothing seemed to be turning out that way.  “ I didn’t mean to come and steal anything from anyone. I just wanted to be with my mother. I’ve never been able to be with my mother. ”  Brows were furrowed, still in confusion and worry almost, because this wasn’t how she wanted things to go.  “ I just wanted to be part of something, you don’t understand... ”  Which Robin likely didn’t, she hadn’t been kept inside a tower her entire life, she spoke of giving up her own mother and that was something Alice didn’t understand, didn’t understand why she would choose to do that. 

[theirsuffering]

poisondivy‌:

THIS  MUST  BE  A  NIGHTMARE.  no  this  can’t  be  real.  she  knows something  is  wrong  when  alice  yanks  her  hands  away.  this  is  not  how  its  going  to  end.  she  threw  away  herself  all  for  this,  all  for—  does  alice  not  care  she  could  have  died   ?  it  breaks  the  brunettes  heart  to  even  consider  a  such  possibility.    ❛  you  don’t  know  her  like  i  do  alice.  she  will  kill  me  and  who  knows  what   she  would  do  to  you  ❜

she  wants  to  reach  for  alices  hands  but  she  knows  such  a  gesture  would  not  be  welcome  right  now.   ❛  there  was  no  other  way  to  be  rid  of  him.  and  if  i  didn’t  darken  my  heart,  my  mother  would  have  ripped  it  from  me.   would  you  have  rather  that  happened  ?   ❜        the  look  in  alices  eyes  says  it  all.   she  may  as  well  have  let  her  mother  win  now.     ❛   alice  please.   this  was  the  only  way  we  could  be  together.  and  if  i’m  not  free..  my  mother  she will  never  stop  until  i’m  destroyed.  she  would  have  killed  me   ❜   

          would she have rather that happened? would she have rather that drizella’s mother had killed her? alice didn’t even know what kind of question that was or how she could think that would have been what she wanted.  “ of course not. ”  she answered honestly, giving a shake of her head, it was clear from her expression that it was far from what she would have wanted, and she couldn’t understand why drizella would think that. 

          “ all i’ve wanted is to be with you... you’re the only... ---- you’re the only person i have. ”  her mother, she didn’t really know, her father, she couldn’t go anywhere near because of the pain it would cause him. drizella was all she had. but what upset her was the fact that, she’d done something she never would have anticipated. she hadn’t even known the gravity of the situation, of course it was a shock to her to hear what she’d just been told. and the fact that she had darkened her heart? that scared alice. that path wasn’t something she wanted for her love.  “ you darkened your heart, driz... ”

[theirsuffering]

poisondivy‌:

SHE  EXPECTS  SOME  CONFUSION,  but  not  the  tone  she  hears  in  alices  voice.  perhaps  it  was  hasty  of  drizella  to  assume  her  love  could  connect  the  dots.  she  will  gladly  share  the  details  of  her  master plan.    ❛ its  not  exactly  conventional,  there  was a  sacrifice  that  had  to  be  made  ❜  slight  nervousness  creeps  upon  her  now,  confidence  dwindling  a  moment.  ‘  remember  driz  alice  loves  you  she  will  understand.  she  has  too ‘ 

deep  breaths  in  &  out  as  she  gathers  herself.  next  words  will  be  chosen  carefully.  ❛  my fiance  hes   dead.—  i  had  too  alice…  my  mother  she  was  going  to  kill  me,  sacrifice  me  for  anastasia.  i  had  no  choice.  but  i  promise  i’m  still  me  ❜  she  reaches  for  her  loves  hands.    ❛  this  curse  that  i  am  going  to  cast  will  take  us  to  a  land  where  we  will  be  free.  she  can’t  me  hurt  there.  we  can  be  together.  you  just  have  too  trust me.  i’m  doing  this  for  us   ❜

          it was almost like she didn’t hear anything else after drizella’s admission that she had killed that man... like white noise had just hit her, and though she was insisting that she was still the same person, that she was still drizella... THE DRIZELLA THAT SHE LOVED WOULDN’T HAVE KILLED SOMEONE, would she? when she felt her hands, alice retracted her own, not forcefully, but all of this... she wanted to be happy, she wanted to be free with her love but... NOT LIKE THIS.

          “ don’t say that. ”  a guilty conscience already setting in.  ‘ i’m doing this for us. ’   did that mean she had killed someone for them too? alice didn’t know if she could stomach that idea. perhaps spending the majority of her life locked in a tower, shielded from both the good and the bad of the world had made her too naive. the blonde began to shake her head, she didn’t want to believe that the other had done something like that.  “ i... you killed someone? ”  voice had grown more shaken now, desperate sounding like she was trying to clutch on to some hope that what she was being told wasn’t so. stinging prick of tears in her eyes, vision becoming more watery.  “ that’s not you, that’s not. you wouldn’t... ”  maybe she’d been right when she had been thinking how it was TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

[theirsuffering]

poisondivy‌:

THE  MOMENT  IS  TENDER,  its  a  blessing  she  could  not  have  asked  for  in  her  wildest  dreams.  every  breathless  moment  with  alice  was  worth  the  wait  without  her,   well   only  sometimes.  but  drizella  not  wait  no  more,  never  again.   free  to  spread  her  wings  &  do  as  she  choses  with  whom  she  choses.    shes  still  the  same  person,  just —  different  in  some  ways.  no  longer  pure  of  heart,  out  of  reach  of  her  mothers  devious  plans.  the  cost  for  such  a  life  of  eternal  happiness  with  her  lady  love  was  worth  it.

ALAS  SHE  MUST  BREAK  for  the  moment  the  sparks  still   flying  as  she  pauses  the  kiss.   ❛   there  was  a  price,  but  for a  forever  with  you,  its  worth  it    ❜   finally a  world  where  she  can  have  alice  forever  &  stay  forever  like  this. what  a  beautiful  dream  that  is.  drizelle  cannot  wait  for  it  to  come  true.   ❛  yes  alice  yes,  i’m  all  yours  now.  no  more  hiding  and  where  we  are  going  we will  be  forever  free  ❜  she  tugs  on  the  blondes  arm. ❛   come  you  must  help  me  prepare  for  the  curse     ❜

          it had been obvious enough when drizella had told her that she would no longer have to marry the prince ----- something good, something like they would get to be together. but hearing that conformation from her, that this was it, that this meant that they would get to be happy together without anything or anyone standing in their way, that JOY, that happiness on her face remained. she couldn’t really believe their luck, it was hard to wrap her head around, that maybe THINGS WOULD START WORKING OUT FOR THEM.

          but when drizella uttered words about a curse, preparing for the curse, that look that had been painted on her face slowly began to disappear, change to one of CONFUSION.  “ curse? what curse? what do you mean? ”  she didn’t know how drizella had managed to get out of the marriage with the prince, she hadn’t told her. and now the mention of this too...? it left alice rather perplexed.  “ what do you mean, driz? ”

[theirsuffering]

i am heading to stay with some family for a couple days tomorrow so i will be available on disc.ord only. however i will still happily write with anyone that wants to. just please let me know who you are when you add me!

[theirsuffering]

shefiights‌:

          ❛ i wasn’t myself then.  tobin showed an obvious interest, i thought maybe a distraction would help me.  that’s all it ever was.  i never loved him. ❜  gaze is cast downwards, still feeling such a guilt for leading him on as she had.  it wasn’t fair to him, he’d been a nice guy.  it still caused a twinge of pain in her chest remembering how it all ended, seeing him coming at her with lifeless eyes.  ❛ i left because i had to.  i would’ve lost myself completely if i didn’t.  and i didn’t want to become a cold blooded machine. ❜

          “ this mean y’gonna come back home, though? ”  she had told him that it was him, that it had always been him, but was she going to stay at the kingdom and keep that distance between them? daryl wasn’t an expert with this stuff, didn’t know how to go around things, so he needed help with that. or maybe she just felt she had to tell him, he didn’t know, he didn’t even know how to admit these things to her, well, these feelings he had himself. he hadn’t exactly grown up in a household or a family where you shared feelings.