Omg you guys, it’s been so long.
I have a lot to write of, I don’t even know where to begin.
So, lately I’ve been veeeeeeery busy, like I haven’t been in months. To begin with, thanks to a miracle, I got a job. But not any job, a VERY good job. It’s so good that I don’t think I deserve it sometimes. I didn’t even asked for it I just got the offert and accepted it. I guess my moon is really taking care of me now. I’ll talk about my moon later.
It was hard at the begining because I was completely alone, I’m being part of a new project and therefore, I’m not only new, but the only one participating. Everything is new for me and it’s overwhelming sometimes. And thanks to this, I’ve learned that I’m actually pretty good at controlling my anxiety. That is some kind of super power to me because I have been dealing with serious anxiety attacks my entire life. But I’m not here to talk about deseases.
If I can tell you something, is that it will pass. I promess, I swear that anything you’re going through that causes you anxiety is going to pass. Maybe not the situation (unfortunatelly) but the anxiety will. You will get trough it. You can do it. And if you feel that you can’t do it alone, please please PLEASE search for professional help.
I am proud to say that I got through an entire week of pure anxiety, and I made it here alive. Because yes, anxiety makes you think that you’re going to die. And yes, people can say that your problem is ‘not that big’ but that’s what anxiety is about. Thoughts that you can’t control and end up eating you. But you can make it through it.
What works for me is breathing with my stomach until no more air is able to enter my guts, sing whatever song comes to my mind and try to concentrate in my surroundings. Also, try to repeat to yourself: “I’ll be alright”. You don’t have to believe it at first, just keep saying it until it feels real.
Also pretty please, don’t forget to take your meds in case you have a prescription like me <3
Take care, you are worth it.
Also I’m just going to say this: I accidentally fell in love with an almost-married boy. He ended up falling in love with me too and now we don’t know what to do, eventhough I know for sure he’s not leaving his fiancée. I’m scared, I know I’m going to be hurt, I don’t know how badly, but I also know that I’ll be alright no matter what.
You’re strong enough, brave enough. You are enough.
I’ll leave you with this picture of my feet and a feather I happened to find on the ground. Also I have a lot of pictures I took recently, I will try to write more often so I can put them with my entries.