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KIROKAZE
occasionally subtle
almost home
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Origami Around
izzy's playlists!
pixel skylines
Three Goblin Art
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Keni
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
taylor price
will byers stan first human second
Cosimo Galluzzi
Discoholic 🪩
DEAR READER
we're not kids anymore.
RMH
wallacepolsom
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@thejugheadjones
Oh I remember this vividly. This was your first dip into the morally gray that was our childhood. Pretty sure it was the first time I tried to ground you, though really I just wanted you to lay low.
I had a feeling you'd remember. It was the first time you tried to ground me and while I'm not sure you successfully grounded me, you did get me to lay low. If only because I didn't want to disappoint you any more.
At the end of the day, I know you're mine, Sir. Having fun with others doesn't matter. You're mine.
Would you look at that? Exactly what I was referring to, and yes, my beautiful boy, at the end of the day I'm yours. You're the one that has my heart and there's nobody I'd trust more with it.
PM: Hopefully over time he will realize there's nothing to be ashamed of for thinking differently. Especially when he's with us because we both know I'm not afraid to voice my thoughts and opinions. He does, but it's not entirely uncommon to judge yourself harsher than others.
[PM] I hope so, Sir. I've been working on providing him a safe space to be himself since we met, and I think there's just a lot of underlying things going on for him that make it hard for him to accept that he's perfectly normal.
PM: It sounds like you've done all you can do at the moment, sweet boy. You give him a safe place and acceptance and the rest is up to him. Sometimes it takes people a while to truly realize they're normal and not broken or damaged like they've convinced themselves.
PM: Unless there's a reason for someone to know about it, I would say it's not anyone's business. Good doctors, both medical and otherwise, are aware some things are beyond one's control and know you aren't just "fucked up" like you believe. Mental health can be serious, Noah, and sometimes life-threatening depending on the circumstances. Exactly my point. It sounds like trauma that is triggered by the idea of D/s and not the actual scene itself. Surprisingly... I don't think so. Life sucked at times, don't get me wrong but I look at how things have worked out for me and JB and it makes everything... worth it, in the end. I'll make sure Matt knows, unless you want to formally invite him yourself. Anything you want us to bring?
PM: That's pretty much what your sis said. Maybe. I guess. I'll think about that. I mean when you say it, it makes sense, but I still have a hard time believing it. But it really does make sense. Guess it's like that saying about that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger and y'all got strong. Honestly, I don't know? If you want wine or something like that you should probably pick because I know fuck all about wine.
PM: Doesn't surprise me at all that she and I think alike. Which is to be expected. It's easy to hear something and know that it makes sense, but it's another thing entirely to believe it. I'll be honest and say I likely would have called you out if you tried to tell me you believed it already. I can be persuasive but that would have been a new record for me. As cliche as it sounds that's exactly it. What doesn't kill you can and will make you stronger even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment. I don't drink any alcohol, but if Matt wants to pick one then he can.
Question #22
22. Have you ever committed a crime? Were you caught?
Technically, yes, but it's not anything super exciting. I shoplifted when I was twelve or thirteen. I also wasn't arrested for it, but I did get busted by my sister after the fact.
Now that I think about it... I don't think we ever told our dad about it. You're also not allowed to pull the dad card now, pops. Statute of limitations because it happened like fifteen years ago and I haven't done it since.
@jbjonesxdomme
@headmasterfpjones
Question #13
13. Do you enjoy when someone refers to you as being theirs?
I do actually, in one circumstance. As much as I enjoy hearing Matt say that he's mine, I find it's equally as pleasing to hear him calling me his Dom. That little hint of possession because he knows even if I play with others, he's still the one wearing my collar and I'd choose him first without any hesitation. He's mine, yes, but I'm his too.
@matt-fabray
Character Questions
1. Have you ever smoked? If so, what did you smoke?
2. Have you ever been high? If so, what happened when you were? Did you get in trouble/caught?
3. Do you like to drink alcoholic beverages? If so, what is your go-to, and what’s your least favorite?
4. Do you have safety rules for when you’re out or partying? What are they?
5. What things about yourself would you want someone to know before doing a scene together?
6. Did you ever practice any kind of bdsm or d/s before you got your mark?
7. What was your initial reaction when you got your mark? Has it changed since then?
8. Have you ever talked to a slave? How did you meet them? What did you talk about?
9. What’s your order at a coffee shop?
10. What is your least favorite part about your most favorite hobby?
11. What would be in your Survive The Apocalypse bag?
12. What is a common misconception about you?
13. Do you enjoy when someone refers to you as being theirs?
14. How do you feel about spankings? Are they always fun, always punishment, or somewhere in between?
15. Do you mind someone touching your feet?
16. What happens to you physically when you orgasm? Do you like that it happens?
17. Would you consider yourself to be disciplined?
18. Are you easy to distract? What distracts you?
19. Who are you most protective of? Why that person?
20. Do you like animals? Would you want a pet?
21. Is there any activity or circumstance that changes your usual behavior? In what ways does it change?
22. Have you ever committed a crime? Were you caught?
23. Have you ever broken a school rule? Why did you break it?
24. Where can you be found during a party?
25. What is something you regret doing or not doing? Why did you do it or not do it when it happened?
26. What do you enjoy about each season?
27. Do you work out? What kind of workout(s) do you do? How often?
28. Is sweat attractive or gross?
29. What’s something people don’t know about you?
30. Send whatever question you want!
[PM] I just worry about telling people about my dysphoria. Not that I'm sure that's what it is, but I've been looking online and that seems to be a what they call it D/s dysphoria. Sounds too technical for fucked up in the head, but doctors probably aren't allowed to say stuff like that. Oh heck no. Matt didn't do anything. He was great. He totally knew about my situation and did everything to make me comfortable. He made it like I was being an actor. We created a character and everything. But then I freaked out and it was dumb. Same with JB and she was really awesome too. Like all these people are always bending over backwards for me and I feel like I don't do enough for them, you know. Is it hard to think that way? Like having to be sort of grateful for the hard stuff you went through because if it made you who you are and you're an awesome dude, it's kind of a good thing, but also still not ok that you had to go through stuff. Cool Friday night.
PM: Unless there's a reason for someone to know about it, I would say it's not anyone's business. Good doctors, both medical and otherwise, are aware some things are beyond one's control and know you aren't just "fucked up" like you believe. Mental health can be serious, Noah, and sometimes life-threatening depending on the circumstances. Exactly my point. It sounds like trauma that is triggered by the idea of D/s and not the actual scene itself. Surprisingly... I don't think so. Life sucked at times, don't get me wrong but I look at how things have worked out for me and JB and it makes everything... worth it, in the end. I'll make sure Matt knows, unless you want to formally invite him yourself. Anything you want us to bring?
PM: Hence my gentle reminder to breathe. Perhaps you need to not worry about if you feel more Dom or sub but let yourself see what feels more natural in the moment. The funny thing about society placing us into these roles is you'll find Dominants that have seemingly submissive traits or enjoy seemingly submissive tasks and vice versa. At the end of the day, you are still a person, and if more people remembered that I feel like some individuals wouldn't struggle as much. My sister and I worked hard for everything we have and we're far more grounded and level-headed due to our upbringing. He sounds special and I'm sure he feels the same way you do if how I know Matt feels having you for a friend is anything to go off of. Next week sounds good. Choose a day and I'll make sure Matt and I are there. Honestly, we've not discussed where to go from here. We might stay for a while once we finish here. We both have family still in the area so there's rush for us to leave.
PM: I've seens these tshirts that have breathe in, breathe out printed upside down so you can looke down for a reminder. I might need something like that. Can I tell you something? I've talked to JB about it and to Matt some, so I guess it's not really a secret or anything like that, but I worry about telling too many people. I can't stand D/s. Like not as a concept, but like it feels wrong in my brain. I tried do a scene with Matt one time and ended up freaking out. It was so dumb. I read online about something called dysphoria, but I think maybe whatever I have doesn't have a name. I'm probably just being stubborn or something. I'm sorry that y'all had to go through hard stuff. You're both cool people and I bet you would have been cool no matter what, but I guess the things we go through make us who we are right? Ok. I'll pick a day. How about next Friday? Yeah, I think family is probably the most important. I left my family when I was 17 and thought I could just be all independent and shit by myself. It doesn't really work out so good. Family is important.
PM: Well, now I know what to get you for Christmas. Tell me anything, Noah. This is a safe place and anything you say here can remain strictly between us. Dysphoria can be a serious mental health condition if not treated, but it sounds like you might be dealing with some form of trauma connected to D/s because I know Matt wouldn't have pushed you with anything. So your freaking out during that scene may have been from the idea and had nothing to do with what went down during it. I also could be entirely wrong because I wasn't there during it and don't know what went down that led up to your freaking out. I don't get the feeling you're being stubborn. Mental health is a serious thing and sometimes easily overlooked and brushed off. Everything we endure shapes up into the person we are and everything I endured led me to Matt so I'd go through it all again if I had to. Next Friday is perfect. We're all young and dumb at one point and think we can be grown up. Its a learning process that I think we never stop learning.
PM: You're sweet, my darling boy. I'm hoping that even as a Dominant that I can make him feel welcomed. I fully anticipate him being uncomfortable at first, but we'll give him time and even if it's not this weekend, perhaps as time goes on he'll start to feel more at ease. You know I've got patience, so there isn't any rush.
[PM] I'm sure he'll learn to feel comfortable around you over time, Sir, and I have no doubt that he'll feel welcomed in our suite. As a heads up, though, you should know that Noah has some trouble sleeping. He usually sleeps better when we're sharing a bed, but I don't know if the new space might negate that. If he does have trouble sleeping with us, he won't want you to make a big deal about it. Just let him be if you notice, or maybe offer some chamomile tea. I don't know if he has nightmares--like I said, he sleeps well when I'm there--but that might be a concern, too. I just want you to be prepared, whatever the case may be.
PM: I'm sure and considering there is no pressure may help. We all have difficulty with sleep at times, sweet boy, and some of us more than others or more often. It's nothing for him to be ashamed of, but I'll be sure to not make a big deal of it or simply offer him some chamomile tea. I've seen or helped you make it enough that I'm confident I can do the same. Consider me prepared and aware. We will cross whatever sleep issues bridges when we get to them.
[PM] You and I both know that sleep issues aren’t anything to be embarrassed by, but it’s different for Noah. He’s very concerned by anything that he thinks is outside the norm. I think he judges himself more than anyone ever judges him.
PM: Hopefully over time he will realize there's nothing to be ashamed of for thinking differently. Especially when he's with us because we both know I'm not afraid to voice my thoughts and opinions. He does, but it's not entirely uncommon to judge yourself harsher than others.
See? You get it Smythe. Oh, it would most certainly be more practical, or one would argue it'd be most practical to choose one over the world. Live on land or live in the water? I could see you as a merman. You've got that tall, lean, but muscular build going on and that's not a bad form for one.
Of course I do. It's important to enjoy all moments in life, specially the calm, quiet ones. That would be a tough call, hence me seriously considering the merman option, haha. Look at you complementing my physique, Jones. You're going to make me blush.
I may not be as drawn to the water as you but... I can see the appeal for it and would consider dabbling in the merman option if only to have the choice. I'm not ashamed of admitting when someone is attractive, Smythe. I also find it hard to believe either of you Smythes are unaware of your beauty.
PM: It is, because last I checked not breathing wasn't all that ideal. I appreciate that trust in me, Noah and I hope I prove that trust is well placed. At the end of the day regardless if someone is a Dom, sub, Switch or even a slave... they're still a person. I can't stand people that automatically assume the Dom mark makes them special or they deserve respect without actually earning it. I've seen Jamie around and he seems like he enjoys being helpful and the fact you're his friend likely plays a part in that too. If you think it'd give you reason to clean we can discuss setting up a day where Matt and I come over, if only for dinner or something. Otherwise, I'm perfectly fine with us hosting in our penthouse. I'm glad it feels like a home, it's... a sneak peek of how we hope our future home looks. We're both readers and writers so it only seems appropriate to have a bunch of books around.
PM: Ha, yeah. It's pretty important. It's weird because I've got the switch mark and so at this I could end up any of those from dominant to slave, but I don't feel like any of them. I just wish I could be a person. You don't act like that. Your sister doesn't act like that. She's always really nice to me. Jamie is hella special. I feel like I'm lucky af that he's my friend. Dinner actually sounds good. Maybe next week? That would give me a good long time to clean up. Y'all are a very good match that way. Do you know where you want to live after all of this?
PM: Hence my gentle reminder to breathe. Perhaps you need to not worry about if you feel more Dom or sub but let yourself see what feels more natural in the moment. The funny thing about society placing us into these roles is you'll find Dominants that have seemingly submissive traits or enjoy seemingly submissive tasks and vice versa. At the end of the day, you are still a person, and if more people remembered that I feel like some individuals wouldn't struggle as much. My sister and I worked hard for everything we have and we're far more grounded and level-headed due to our upbringing. He sounds special and I'm sure he feels the same way you do if how I know Matt feels having you for a friend is anything to go off of. Next week sounds good. Choose a day and I'll make sure Matt and I are there. Honestly, we've not discussed where to go from here. We might stay for a while once we finish here. We both have family still in the area so there's rush for us to leave.
PM: You're sweet, my darling boy. I'm hoping that even as a Dominant that I can make him feel welcomed. I fully anticipate him being uncomfortable at first, but we'll give him time and even if it's not this weekend, perhaps as time goes on he'll start to feel more at ease. You know I've got patience, so there isn't any rush.
[PM] I'm sure he'll learn to feel comfortable around you over time, Sir, and I have no doubt that he'll feel welcomed in our suite. As a heads up, though, you should know that Noah has some trouble sleeping. He usually sleeps better when we're sharing a bed, but I don't know if the new space might negate that. If he does have trouble sleeping with us, he won't want you to make a big deal about it. Just let him be if you notice, or maybe offer some chamomile tea. I don't know if he has nightmares--like I said, he sleeps well when I'm there--but that might be a concern, too. I just want you to be prepared, whatever the case may be.
PM: I'm sure and considering there is no pressure may help. We all have difficulty with sleep at times, sweet boy, and some of us more than others or more often. It's nothing for him to be ashamed of, but I'll be sure to not make a big deal of it or simply offer him some chamomile tea. I've seen or helped you make it enough that I'm confident I can do the same. Consider me prepared and aware. We will cross whatever sleep issues bridges when we get to them.
[PM] If that’s conceited, then it’s an attitude well earned, Sir. If there’s any Dominant who can create a welcoming environment for Noah, it’s you. There’s a decent chance he’ll be uncomfortable at first no matter what we do, but hopefully he’ll be able to relax before too long.
PM: You're sweet, my darling boy. I'm hoping that even as a Dominant that I can make him feel welcomed. I fully anticipate him being uncomfortable at first, but we'll give him time and even if it's not this weekend, perhaps as time goes on he'll start to feel more at ease. You know I've got patience, so there isn't any rush.
PM: Just keeping breathing is probably good advice in general. Very achievable too. I do trust you. Because you would do anything for him. That earns my trust for sure. Not saying it's like this here, but treating people with human decency regardless of their mark or status or how they just are is not the usual. Oh, yeah, guess that's true. Maybe inviting y'all a reason to keep the place clean. My friend Jamie helped me get some things organized, but it's tough to bother keeping it clean if there's not reason. Y'all's place is so cozy though. All the books and stuff. Like a real home.
PM: It is, because last I checked not breathing wasn't all that ideal. I appreciate that trust in me, Noah and I hope I prove that trust is well placed. At the end of the day regardless if someone is a Dom, sub, Switch or even a slave... they're still a person. I can't stand people that automatically assume the Dom mark makes them special or they deserve respect without actually earning it. I've seen Jamie around and he seems like he enjoys being helpful and the fact you're his friend likely plays a part in that too. If you think it'd give you reason to clean we can discuss setting up a day where Matt and I come over, if only for dinner or something. Otherwise, I'm perfectly fine with us hosting in our penthouse. I'm glad it feels like a home, it's... a sneak peek of how we hope our future home looks. We're both readers and writers so it only seems appropriate to have a bunch of books around.
[PM] I'm honestly still not sure how we got to this point, Sir, but I'm so glad we did. I'll talk to him and will let you know how it goes. I think it'll be good for him to have more friends he can be relaxed around, especially someone who's a Dom. As long as he doesn't feel like a third wheel with us, a group slumber party might be just what he needs right now.
PM: I'm not either, sweet boy, but I'm truly thankful we did too. Sounds good. I agree it'll be good for him to have friends he can relaxed around and at the risk of sounding conceited... I might be a good choice given how easygoing I am. I'll refrain from being overly affectionate while he's around. We'll keep things simple and fun. I don't want him to be uncomfortable or feel like he's not welcomed.
Of course, Sir.
[PM] I'll never stop being grateful that you let me in and saved yourself from that fate. I hope Noah can use you as a bit of an example, once he figures things out for himself a bit more. I'm not sure what he'll think about the sleeping arrangements. He'd likely feel guilty if I chose to sleep away from you, and he'd feel guilty if we all camp out in the living room. I think the group slumber party is probably going to be the best option in the end, and it sounds like a good time. I'll keep all of the options open so we can figure out whatever works best for him.
PM: Just like I'll never stop being grateful that you trusted me in the beginning, sweet boy. I think your trust in me is what gave me the courage to trust you and, in the end, let you in and see me for who I am and not just what I show the world. He's still young and as long as he has positive role models like you in his life, he'll do well. Give him options and see what he says. I'm willing to do whatever will make him more comfortable, so I'm going to trust you and your judgement. Tell him that I'm okay with anything and you have my permission to speak for me in terms of sleeping arrangements. Just tell me what you two decide on so I know.
