I’ve been really self-conscious about myself for years. I started to gain a lot of weight after I got seriously ill. When my life changed to the worse, I didn’t really care about myself and I gained weight. A lot. My self loathing hit me hard. I was scared to even post any pictures of myself and also got isolated from my friends. Now however I’ve been trying to be more gentle towards myself and I’ve been trying to be body positive.
When I first tried on this outfit, the first thing that came to my mind was “Do I look fat in this?”, but after that I thought that what does it matter. I am chubby and plus size. Or even fat, whatever. I we been missing the joy which I used to get when I put on nice clothes. So finally I just did it, and I felt cute. Self loathing is still on the back of my head, but I’m trying not to listen that shit. Maybe finally I can take small steps towards accepting myself.
