NUMB

let her cry, for she is a lady let her dream, for she is a child

[kirstyxmarksx]

“I swear I laugh at the stupidest jokes when they are not even funny,” Kirsty said with a soft laugh escaping her lips.

[thekatiewhite]

“Oh, yes,” Katie smiled in agreement, “my sense of humour is all sorts of messed up. I’ve no idea what a proper laugh is anymore.”

[mondlichty]

[thekatiewhite]

@jamie--kirk

[thekatiewhite]

jamie--kirk‌:

Jamie couldn’t help the smile even if he’d wanted to, at her words. She’d missed him. Though he’d known she would. But it was nice to hear all the same. Some days he wished he could just go back. Back to the boy he’d been before all of this. The -A Game. It had completely taken him over and changed every single thing but Jamie Kirk used to be a simple guy who just wanted to travel and play football. And love Katie White.

“Me too.” He said after a small beat, glancing around the room with a heavy sigh. Her question though, had him stuck for a moment. How was he? It was such a small and such a big question. Jamie wasn’t doing too hot but he could also be worse, he supposed. “Oh, you know…” He shrugged, doing his best to seem casual. “Getting by…. what’s it like back on the outside?” 

She’d never imagined this was how it would all turn out. Back when she was still hiding him, in the beginning. Yeah, she played with the thought of him being caught but it was never something she thought could actually happen. Not with the way he was acting as time went by. His dedication alone she felt could save him from it. And yet... it’s brutal how things turn out.

She smiled at his response, and could feel the sincerity in his voice. (Or at least hoped for it.) She paused for a bit at his question, trying to figure out the right response. “Miserable,” she said. “I hate it. I hate everything about my life right now, Jamie. I don’t know if I can do this.” She admitted, for the first time to herself, too.

[thekatiewhite]

tylerxkirk‌:

“That’s fair but you don’t have to prove anything to me.”

“If that’s the case, grab a box and let’s go.”

[thekatiewhite]

austinxramsey‌:

“Sometimes.”

“Normally I would’ve held my breath, but this box is so bloody heavy that I’m gonna pass on that pleasure.”

[thekatiewhite]

jamie--kirk‌:

Even without the game taking over every single minute aspect of his life, it was hard for Jamie to disconnect his brain. Near impossible in fact. He wondered if Katie had found anything out. If -A had started up. -A. He almost scoffed. That was him. It wasn’t right and he couldn’t understand how he had missed it. Maybe that’s what was driving him mad the most.

Looking back at Katie for a moment, Jamie just took her in. This was a far cry from hiding out with her in the flat, drinking beer and eating pizza and plotting his next big move. The chessboard was so addictive and he hated that he’d been kicked off. “It’s good to see you.” He said finally, and he did mean it. Jamie was so fractured but he still knew who he cared for.

Katie hadn’t really thought of what Jamie state of mind would be-- or rather chose not to think of it. Because she simply couldn’t bring herself to think of him in such a broken place, mentally. It wasn’t as if he was top notch back in her flat, but at least he had a sense of control there, which was something she was certain he lacked in prison. Looking at him, he seemed like a shadow of the man he’d used to be, but it was still him. There, looking at her, it was him.

Katie let herself get lost in his embrace, and it was hard for her to keep her tears from not falling carelessly on her cheeks. “I’ve missed you,” she said back. “So much.” She added, the words coming out painfully. “How are you?”

[thekatiewhite]

Miss me? Maybe you should hide me in your new flat like you hid Jamie in your old one. I've got proof. Not long until you're in a cage of your own. Tick, tock. -A

[6lacksoul]

[thekatiewhite]

fiona-klein‌:

Fiona tried not to think back to that time. Some things still felt a little off to her but she had no way to place it in her mind and understand why that was. She shrugged it off… like she shrugged everything off. Easy going little Fiona. She followed Katie with a little smile, glad to be able to spend time with her. She always felt so cut off and adrift and.. abandoned but at least she had Katie. “We could order in food too?”

Fiona wasn’t stupid. Naive, and innocent, and too gentle for her own benefit. But Katie knew that Fiona was more than able to add up all the mismatched stories Katie was putting out and come to the conclusion that something wasn’t exactly... right. Whenever that would happen, Katie knew she had to be prepared, but for now, she still had a role to play. “Yeah,” she nodded, sitting on a box and taking out a cigarette. “I’m bloody starving.”

[jamie--kirk]

@thekatiewhite

Jamie hated prison. He hated it because he had this itch that not having freedom couldn’t fulfill. The game. The thrill of it. The control. The power. It was a drug and Jamie wanted it back. He’d probably have done anything to do just that. His mind had been reeling, going back and forth, worrying over who exactly had managed to outsmart him. Him. He couldn’t understand it, he just couldn’t.

Jamie missed Frances. She refused to visit, to let him explain, though it was a shock he was even allowed visitors at all now. Even though it had taken a while for them to even grant this. Jamie had kept her safe despite his evil doings and he worried that she wouldn’t be so lucky now. He also missed Katie, a lot. So he was glad when she came to visit, but maybe a big part of it was to ask her questions. “Hi.” The first thing he’d said to her in months.

[thekatiewhite]

She had been slowly letting herself get lost in the decorative department. Faux flowers and maybe some fairy lights-- a party trick her mother had taught her on how to change her life-- (instead of cutting your hair, change your surroundings.) It was a fairly easy move to her new flat, which by no means meant it was an easy decision, but it was one that she knew she had to make. And yet, and if she were honest with herself, Katie’d seen it coming, he was still there with her, clinging to whatever memory was left. She saw Jamie in the beers sitting in the fridge, she saw him in the bedsheets, in the mirror when she brushed her teeth-- in every empty corner of the apartment, there he was, occupying the void that he’d left.

She missed him gravely. Missed the life they’d had, missed the way he’d made her feel about herself. Katie’s love for Jamie had been something that couldn’t be erased, and she didn’t want it to. She knew Fran probably won’t go and see him. It was a pity but it was also understandable. She also knew that she had to go and see him, and that it wouldn’t be frowned upon by nobody that she would. That no one would bat an eye. Walking into prison, her heart was racing, for many different reasons that she couldn’t possibly tell what was troubling her the most about the situation. When she finally saw him after months of only seeing pictures of him in the newspaper, she stopped dead in her tracks, not sure of how to respond. “Hey,” was the only thing she’d managed.

[thekatiewhite]

fiona-klein‌:

Fiona figured this was one of those things like chopping your hair off after a break up or something, just a bit more extreme. Not that she’d ever had to do that but she’d heard about it. “Well, that’s good.” Positive was good.. though Fiona couldn’t say she was great at it herself. “Do you need help.. um. Unpacking?”

It seemed a few months had been a good measure to how long Katie had to need to adjust to the whirlwind she’d been ‘experienced’.  She figured it wouldn’t seem like such a change in behaviour, and Katie needed to get out of the expression she’s been sporting ever since the goddamn-bloody-fucking-bench incident. “Of course,” she smiled, grabbing her keys to unlock the door. “Your company alone will do.”

[thekatiewhite]

kelly-sharpe‌:

“Not angry, passive aggressive maybe.. I don’t know.. it’s whatever.”

“Just... can’t be bothered.”

[thekatiewhite]

hayleybradley‌:

“Get fucking movers…”

“With what bloody money?“

[thekatiewhite]

kelly-sharpe‌:

“No need, you can have it.”

“Bloody hell, what are you so angry about today?”

[thekatiewhite]

hayleybradley‌:

“You said you got this, so why do you care?”

“I don’t, not really. But it was more of a sarcastic remark, this shit’s heavy.”

[thekatiewhite]

thcrunaway‌:

“Sure.” Abi reached to grab the key as she moved towards the door and swung it open for her, just making sure she could get in without a problem. “So this your new place. Huh? It’s nice.”

“Cheers,” Katie smiled and scooched her way in, putting down the box with a sigh. “It looks like shit,” she laughed, reaching out for a cigarette. “But it’s a change and that alone is enough.”

[thekatiewhite]

kelly-sharpe‌:

“Sure… sounds like it’s my middle name.”

“I can fight you for it.”