Sometimes I wonder if I'm just really fucked up...
I want to be so many things and so many of the things are contradictory that they could give you whiplash...
I want to be a safe place... a place where you can rest from your burdens and let me take over. I want you to trust me deeply.
I want to be able to scare you, I want to be able to bring you to a place where i see the fear reflected in your eyes
I want to be your comfort, I want to be there and see you and hear you and make sure that you know that you are seen. A safe place to cry, a place where your walls of defense aren't needed.
I want to make you experience pain, I don't want to harm you. But I do want to make you hurt. Bruise you and make you cry.
I want to bring you pleasure, I want you to loose yourself in it's sensations and bliss. I want to take you there as many times as I can and in as many ways as I can come up with.
I want to deny you, I want to dangle the pleasure in your face, but just out of arms reach. I want to toy and torture and tease your body till the sensation is driving you crazy. Till your body is humping the air in need for stimulation.
I also want to force orgasms upon you, take them from you, when you thought you were done...
I want to worship you and your body. I want to know every surface and crease in an intimate way. And I want to make you feel happy and appreciated and secure, a godess of mine. I want to brush your hair, I want to help you wash, I want to help towel you dry. I want the privilege of massaging your feet, after a long day. I want to give you a body massage when you are feeling tense and stressed.
I want to use you, I want to take my pleasure from you.
I also want to degrade you. To make you do filthy and degrading things to make you blush and feel the burning sensation of shame in every nerv of your body. To quote the true blood intro, "I want to do bad things, with you". I want to spit in your mouth, and I want to see the need in your eyes, as you gape wide hungrily for it. I want to fuck your face, and have your face being a slobbery mess when I'm done, and just to add insult to injury, spread it all over and give you a few extra pets, telling you what a pathetic little slut you are for me. Grab you by the hair, and walk you to the mirror (or worse make you crawl there) and grope you in front of it as mockingly tell you what a pretty whore you are with your make up all smeared. I want to take you from behind as I keep my fist in your hair, making sure that you look at us while I take you. All illusions of beauty gone, just carnal need to be inside you.
I want to be your teddy bear
I want to be able to unshackle my monsters and let them play freely with you and yours
Although I hope, that like a gem...
I want to know and savour the taste of your lips, your tears, your sweat and the essence of your very core. And I want to treasure them all. I want to know your scent and how yours mix with every perfume you own. I want to know how your skin feels against mine... I want to know the beat of your heart, and the strength of your pulse under my palm as it rests on your skin. I want to know how your chests heave and your muscles spasm as you orgasm...
I fear that I am a monster...
my many facets, can reflect the light beautifully...
if it's hit from just the right angle.
I want to be a daimond in the rough...
I will never be flawless, because my flaws are many...
But then again, the most valuable gems all have flaws, don't they...
