i am a weird rock lady

official tumblr flooring expert (tm)

[thelefthandedwife]

DoorDash is the GOAT y’all

So I ordered food from DoorDash Friday night and their entire system crashed, which meant that my stuff arrived three hours late and cold. You know what DoorDash did? Refunded the money to my card AND credited that same amount to my DoorDash account as a mea culpa. Based on the email I got about it they’re doing this for every single customer this happened to. That’s how you handle a fuckup right there. Grubhub gets snotty when I try to get a refund on an order that never showed up because they forgot to send it to the restaurant. Fuck Grubhub.

[thingstoshowdan]

I’m in Poland and they keep showing this pizza advert and it’s amazing.

It starts off with rival pizza makers who argue over who has the best pizza and are driving the customers away

Then there’s this crazy old lady who yells at them from a window to quit it (because where else do you yell business advice from?)

So they work together and do some obvious flirting via pizza montage

And the old lady is all like “just kiss already”

Then they create a pizza together, combine restaurants and live happily ever after with the crazy window lady

[lofispirit-blog]

waking up to gay pizza makers, today’s gonna be a good day

[tharook]

a family pizzeria can be two lesbians and a window lady

[blod-this-will-be-deleted-wynn]

As a polish lesbian, I approve this message.

[slow-riot-deactivated20200720]

Thinking a lot about how people have liked to meme on late-life Johnny Cash for “God’s Gonna Cut You Down” and his “Hurt” cover but man, I think his last few years were amazing. He was a man who was always on the right side of things, pro-union, anti-prison, and then at the end of his life he just got weird and apocalyptic, looking back on his own life and staring death in the face. That shit rules. He went out with dignity, which can be said about a lot of people, but more than that, he went out with ambition. “You can have it all, my empire of dirt” sounds melodramatic coming from 29 year old Trent Reznor singing about drugs, but coming from a 70 year old man who was one of the faces of his entire goddamn genre, who had fought for change his entire life and never seen any real progress? That’s fucking devastating.

[filmsfoodandfandom]

“I wore black because I liked it. I still do, and wearing it still means something to me. It’s still my symbol of rebellion – against a stagnant status quo, against our hypocritical houses of God, against people whose minds are closed to others’ ideas.“— Johnny Cash

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

fun fact, i can be killed but it won’t last

[mompants]

this post radiates so much power

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

so do i, in a nuclear way, if you try to open my ribcages

[thelefthandedwife]

ribcageS

[prokopetz]

I think one of my favourite bits of linguistic nerdery in video games is Julius Belmont’s technique “Omnia Vanitas”.

If you’re a student of the classics, you’ll know that this phrase is best known from Ecclesiastes 1:2, and that it translates directly as “all is vanity” – though here the word “vanity” has the specific connotation of futility, rather than pride, so a more accurate colloquial translation might be “everything is useless”.

Now consider what the Omnia Vanitas actually is: a perfect defensive move that renders the user invincible by allowing attacks to pass through them like they’re not even there.

So it sounds like a really classy, educated name for a martial arts technique, but what’s actually going on is that Julius is using a Bible quotation as an extremely pretentious way of saying “can’t touch this”.

[ghostbustinggays]

ONE OF OUR INSTRUCTORS ACCIDENTALLY GOT PAID $787,000 THIS MONTH IM WHEEZING, OMFG PAYROLL

[ghostbustinggays]

A PAYROLL EMPLOYEE ENTERED 123 INSTEAD OF 1 SO HE GOT PAID 123 TIMES WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO

[ghostbustinggays]

this is the rare $786,708 payday. reblog to receive more money than you were expecting on your next paycheck 💫

[thelefthandedwife]

Pop the champagne folks

Today’s the day. After ten years, I have finally convinced Max that it is more polite to use soft paws when asking for pets. I have not been clawed once in the last 36 hours. Thank god. My days of moonlighting as a piece of Swiss cheese are over.

[thelefthandedwife]

Sooooo

I got fired

Apparently three and a half years with the company ain’t shit if you have one bad sales month. It’s been five days and I’m already going insane. I’ve been applying to jobs like a madwoman and not really heard back.

On the plus side, it’s got me thinking about what I want to do as a next step. I was decent at sales but I didn’t really LIKE it. I’m thinking about going back to school and getting a business degree. Who knows.

[woolawool-deactivated20220724]

Every other straight man ever singing about a woman: wow baby you’re so sexy I love you because your body is sexy

Hozier, an intellectual and lesbian ally: I am a bird of prey and you are a sharp spike upon which I impale small rodents

[woolawool-deactivated20220724]

Straight man #2505: we met at the club she was really hot

Forest lad himself: it was as my baby churned up the mud that she found me there, buried and alone

[woolawool-deactivated20220724]

Fucking eduardo sheerman or whomever: I just want to errr kiss you babe

Andrew Hozier Byrnes: I want nothing more than for us to lay in a field together until we decompose and are eaten by foxes

[transfemininomenon]

not to say anything positive about america but the revolutionaries inventing guerrilla warfare is the funniest shit to me they were just like “hey what if instead of standing in lines all orderly getting shot what if we like, didn’t” and the brits were just like “what the fuck. what the fuck is happening this isn’t in the rule book what the fuck”

[scarlet-vision-trash]

Netflix really knows how to attract an audience huh

[blueandbluer]

It got better 😂

[sixpenceee]

I love everything about this.

[deejay]

Relog if you need this energy

source

[prokopetz]

The thing I love about cats is that they’re basically born ready to throw down. There’s something strangely life-affirming about seeing a ball of fuzz that could fit in the palm of your hand with room to spare react to an unfamiliar creature literally a hundred times its size by going “I roll Intimidation”.

[batneko]

#the really life affirming part is that sometimes it works

[minoukatze]

[thestalkerbunny]

Cats will immediately let something bigger than them and obviously much more intimidating know that they’re not to be fucked with and I frequently aspire to be like that.

[kibumkim]

DGRFEVFBVFVFBVGFB G

[duskbg-deactivated20190717]

me @moon-hedgehog and @rbluepie

y’all need to cheer up and I’m not stopping till I make y’all feel better

[thelefthandedwife]

I watched this probably a good fifteen times and lost it every single time

[cats-and-company]

Queen.

[candiikismet]

I always have to reboot this.

[ordinaryredtail]

For anyone wondering, this is amazing enrichment for the animal and a great way to involve guests! The lions aren’t forced to play with the rope if they don’t want to, and these guys (and anyone else who tries this out) have an awesome close up and hands on experience, all without having to come in direct contact with the cat!

[little-miss-mash]

@why-animals-do-the-thing

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

This definitely counts as #actually cute. This video is from the San Antonio Zoo, and the lioness’ name is Axelle. As @ordinaryredtail said above, the tug of war interaction is entirely voluntary on her part.

My guess is that the zoo staff did use some positive reinforcement training to teach her how to pick up and pull on the rope at first, because that’s not necessary something a lion would just do on their own. While it’s also probable that she’s rewarded with something tasty did choosing to engage with the members of the public like this, Axelle wouldn’t be engaging if it was a negative experience for her (there aren’t enough snacks in the world to coerce a lion into doing something they find actively distressing). If she didn’t want to participate, she could just walk away.

Some sanctuary and animal rights groups have taken issue with this interaction because they consider it unethical to ask a lion to engage in any “unnatural behavior” “for the benefit of the public,” calling it exploitation. It is worth keeping in mind, however, that learning and engaging in novel behaviors is hugely enriching for animals in human care, and that lions have no concept of exploitation. As long as the lion is not bothered by the presence or noise of the crowd, is not injured or harmed, and is engaging on an entirely voluntary basis, this sort of thing is entirely ethical. It is far safer than any type of interaction where a member of the public is coming into direct context with a big cat, but still allows people to directly experience the sheer strength of a lion up close.

[thelefthandedwife]

Fuck yeah that’s my zoo

[objetocotidiano]

[jervae]

The superhero I didn’t know I needed. 👠✨