Late Night Rambling

I write things, post pictures of things, and mainly make jabs at my friend Dan. I reside in Phoenix, Arizona.

[thelonelygoat]

Say Anything Crush'd (Album Version)

Say Anything (2009)

Oops, I forgot that this was actually the song that describes it.

[thelonelygoat]

Fall Out Boy: Grand Theft Autumn / Where Is Your Boy [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

Fall Out Boy's music video for 'Grand Theft Autumn / Where Is Your Boy' from the album, Take This To Your Grave - available now on DCD2 Records / Fueled By R...

The last good thing.

[thelonelygoat]

Fuck you, my opinion on Chinese cartoons reign supreme.

[thelonelygoat]

This Place

I love this place. I'm able to escape from my normal routine and live a life that isn't mine. I walk these steps of a man I never was. I put up a brave face, and tell everyone nothing will bring me to my knees. That's why I love this place. I'm able to be weak. I can let myself be the one who loses. It turns out, if you're the one always losing you tell yourself you're a loser, who would have known. I drink a maximum of 5 times a year now because I tell myself I'm better than that. Really I'm just not strong enough to hold the gates year round if I did drink. Something about this southern air exposes my fragility. Whatever battles I think I may win the rest of the year sneak behind my front to plunder my core. Maybe that's why I still long for this place, it's the only time I can let myself be vulnerable. I think, "if I can just make it to this week then no one will know you've lost." Truth is, I lose the battle every day and people know it. They just don't point it out. They don't want me to be the broken man I once was, trust me, nor do I. So they, like myself, hide under the guise of my daily routine of being strong, being a juggernaut. How I long to be such an unstoppable force. Reality is that I'm tripped up by the smallest of obstacles. How sad is it that hearing you're married, or that you've moved on, or that your sad halts me ever so. What I wouldn't give to be the man I pretend to be. The one who withstands the gauntlet without ever wavering. But I'm not. I'm still just as pitiful as ever. I give thought to each of you, as if that helps anyone. I wonder, "what if that was still me?" How disgraceful. Don't you know who I am? Of course you do. I'm infallible, unflinching, ever stalwart, and unwavering. I'm the one that you pass off as the one who never gives a second thought or ever looks back. I hate this place. I'm trying, God only knows, I'm trying.

[thelonelygoat]

Heh... it got pretty bad.

[thelonelygoat]

A Good Opponent

There sits an unassuming man covered in white linens, instruments beeping rhythmically next to him. His thoughts race from within his mind recalling his best and worst memories. The walls are a canvas of white to play his slideshow out onto them. He is jarred from recollecting by the slight clinking of a door handle being turned. The door pushed inwards and the room fills with the faint smell of Ammonia and Iodine. With a deep breath he fills his lungs with this now familiar smell; due to this he ends up coughing up a fit as his visitor hurriedly approaches to pat his back. “There there Bub.” His fit ceases and he meets his visitor with an earnest smile. “Thanks best friend.” She sits in the uncomfortable metal chair, lined with a dull grey pattern. Silence fills the room, something both are unaccustomed to while in each others company. “It seems the rich do get richer.” He lets out with a slight chuckle and a few coughs. His attempt to break the silence with a joke seems to have had little effect as she sits despondently. “Do you regret it?” she asks. “You know, I thought I would. Being here now though, I find it hard to regret what I did more than what I wasn’t able to do.” He responds. “What were you unable to do that you wished you had?” she says with a slight head tilt. “I guess I would have liked to see more. I never made it back to Japan, you know. You can also guess, it would have been nice to find that somebody. You never paid me back for showing you yours.” He laughs slyly. “I tried! You’re just too picky.” She explains. Silence returns for a short time as they both stare blankly ahead. “I think I would have liked to have been better though. You know, at the whole life thing. I was told once that life was a game. I believe that now. You either play it, or it plays you. I seemed to be on the losing side quite a bit though. Life is hard. That’s okay though, I love games. I just hope I was a worthy opponent. What do you think?” He smiled coyly.

[thelonelygoat]

You're no witch, you're no wench, You're like Bjork with better fashion sense A phone, 50 cents, and I'm building up my confidence Respect to your work, you're an artist, I'm a silly jerk I think that dynamic could work So work it

[grassprint-deactivated20240101]

champloo

[thelonelygoat]

Neat.

[thelonelygoat]

Somewhere Down the Line

There are some songs on my iPod that are beginning to become a nuisance. Most of them are songs I sent you, or you sent me back when we giddily flirted through songs. Christ how I wish that was a reality now.

I’ve been thinking about you a lot recently; you’ve even started coming to me in my dreams. I didn’t think you’d do that, not you. I guess I assumed that because of how we split, I’d have no reason to see you across the divide of consciousness. Turns out I’m wrong once again. Our mutual friend made a comment about you recently, well last month to be exact. It got me, it got me good Sugarpie. I was doing well for the past year, I thought that one comment wouldn’t tip the scales like it did. Well surprise, surprise; it fucked me up. Of course I think about you, I loved you more than anyone else in my life so it’s only natural to think about you every so often. I hope that’s normal at least. Either way, up until that comment I was doing well. Now you make cameos in my dreams. How hilariously ironic is this? I find it just plain sad. I wake with a pit in my stomach and a retching feeling. This post isn’t going as smoothly as I wished. It’s hard to explain and I wish I could see you again in our tiny bedroom with just a mattress on the floor. While I was in a rather bad place while living there, I loved living with you. I tried telling you this, but it was hard when all I could do is make sure I woke up the next day. I always conceded to you that I could have done more, and I wish I had. Though now it’s even more clear what I could and should have done. I wonder if you also realized that is was just the timing that was wrong, Hunniebunch. I now entertain the thought of what might have been if we met earlier, or later in our lives. Maybe then we could have made the promises we made to each other come true. “ You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin. Now you just say, "Oh, Romeo, yeah, you know I used to have a scene with him"”  

No matter, these are all conjectures and musings of a sorry man. I miss you Fox-chan. I loved you, and still do more than anyone else I’ve ever known. 

[thelonelygoat]

Comfortable

I've been thinking about you lately. Each time I see my Arcanine when I check my Gym or squad I'm reminded of you. I wonder if you're enjoying Pokémon Go as much as I am. I'm wishing it came out when we were together, maybe it could have kept us from splitting. Cause I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me so I can say this is the way that I used to be. There's no substitute for time, Purple Eyes.

[thelonelygoat]

Having my back and having faith in me is different than being there as a shoulder to cry on.

[thelonelygoat]

I’ve been feeling very alone recently, and as always with these feeling I’m brought back to you. I guess because when I was with you, you always made me feel loved and welcomed. I know that it was hard to see sometimes but that made me never want to be apart. I wonder what you’re doing now, what we could have been now; and also what we could be if you were in the same city. I hope you’re doing better. I still love you, and I hope you’re happy. Even though you’ll never read this. 

[thelonelygoat]

OH HOHOHO. Here you go Daniel. Hear this one in a Starbucks. See you Thursday.

[thelonelygoat]

Daniel, let it ruin you.

[thelonelygoat]

I wonder what I am to you. Do you stay up at night thinking about me as well? Or was I only kept around to give you attention?

[theripleytoyourjohnmcclane]

Beer before liquor, never been sicker.

Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.

WHY THE FUCK DID NOBODY WARN ME ABOUT “WINE BEFORE SCOTCH…”?

[thelonelygoat]

No one thought you were that incompetent to even venture down that road. Mark another off the list, next up is still playing Roy.

[thelonelygoat]

And my pain is mine, it's become my friend in time.