Alrightyy!! here are my Qifrey headcanons, no one asked but yeah! they're nothing super special or crazy, these are just headcanons ive gathered and created based off of my own interpretations of his trauma and characters, and even some from fics I've read... again they aren't anything super crazy because I like to write my characters as realistic to the typer of experiences and hardships they've gone through, so hopeufully these make sense and if you have any, don't be afraid to comment them! (and if you have any wha fic request you can send em here too...)
spoiler warning! so please avoid if you don't want spoilers i mean i dont thinks theres anything like supoer detailed, but if you havent read the manga you'd be confused.... and please keep in mind i am no professional, i don't really now what im talking about and i didn't to the normal amount of research i would normally do for these topics so this is a rough draft of my ideas and im spouting nonsense really!!
He's very hyper-dependent, he does everything on his own because he feels so behind and as if he doesn't need/deserve the extra help by others (beldaruit, olly, other adults) because of his unique situation/opportunity. He want's to do things himself to prove to that he deserves things, that he is learning and alive
constantly monitoring/hypervigalance for brimmed caps but that's just his c-ptsd in general, with the horrible experiences he's gone through i'd say it's pretty normal for him to always be on guard, in the sense of looking and watching out for danger and watching out for himself and his whole being comfortable situation especially with olly, beldaruit, and now the girls...
self sacrificial/passively suicidal/suicide ideation- can you be all of them?- i dunno but to me he is.... he is just a beautiful metaphor for the chronically ill and/or disabled people who fight everyday to be alive and live comfortably... so yeah he's all of those because if i am theres no way he would be like cmon now...
Somatic flashbacks more than any other type of flashback... i do believe and forgive me if im not correct, that he's have auditory flashbacks (i think that was implied in the manga?) and to add to that he'd also have more olfactory and nighttime flashbacks than visual... personally for Qifreys character when i write about him I like to say he had tbi along with all of his other injuries and his memories erased and that caused him to have hard time creating and imagining things in his head ....but i did say he'd have nighttime flashbacks.... i dunno if that would work exactly, but im going off of personal experiences, after i got concussed i have a hard time creating and imagining pictures in my head but i still dream... (this is a work in progress, lmk if you understand what im saying -_- )
claustrophobia, because of him being in the coffin and all that, even because of him being held in the cell recent to being rescued, he is not good with tight or closed spaces, especially littlefrey.... he will literally breakdown and freakout once he feels like he's trapped, while in Beldaruit atelier he makes sure the all doors have no locks on the, he sleeps with a nightlight, the door open, or with Beldaruit, eventually Beldaruit creates a spell that puts stars on his ceiling (yes like the ones we all had that you buy at the store and stick to your walls and ceilings)
I didn't know whether to put this separately but im gonna go ahead and put this with claustrophobia... he's not great with physical touch or heavy pressures like hugs to him, like if you were to touch him he wouldn't like/allow or handle it but as long as he's the one initiating the touch it's okay, like you could ask to touch/hug him and if he allows it, he'd be the one initiate the contact, don''t put weight on him, he will feel trapped, panic, and wiggle away frantically. (this is inspires by that one scene of Qifrey and Alaira... I like to think that Olruggio introduced them and Alaira is a hugger and Qifrey well... isn't. Olruggio forgets to tell Alaira that qifrey isn't a big hugger or toucher and he goes for the hug and qifrey goes to stop it and she laughs as he holds her hand and she holds his cloak... does this make sense? Honestly i think someone might've said this already... my memory is not good but credits to them... but they just great that way regularly ever since them because Alaira likes physical touch and qifrey doesn't so its a win win for the both of them.... auhghghh they're besties i love them.)
Aqua-phobia, obviously. I think he and Beldaruit had a very hard time with bathing in the early time of his apprenticeship... First bath time was horrible that led to a breakdown and a breakdown at the mention of another one any other time after that until they came to using washcloths and not fully submerging in water, i think the washing hair part was hardest after they came to this solution but bathing eventaully manages to not become so much a problem, but to me the little unexpected things, like splashes, spills, unexpected rainstorms and the sound of water filling things is just.... horrible.
memory paranoia/problems like well yes... we know he has memory problems because his memory was wiped... but I mean that he will occasionally forget things that are considered important and when it's brought up and lets say Olruggio is expecting something and realizes he forgot, he'll unconsciously say "don't you remember?"... just him forgetting important things freaks him out because he's supposed to be okay and as far as he knows he hasn't had any other problems with his memory... he just is scared of his brain forgetting things in present because memories are precious, especially to him.
Speech problems/fatigue especially while younger because of TBI/ MindWipe and getting used to being alive and having all of these meds and information bombarded into his face, sometimes his speech will slur or is hard to get out and draining to and would occasionally go non verbal when exhausted, if he had a migraine,was feeling unwell, or not having a great day (pre/post flashback eps), even then as he was healing, he didn't speak much unless it was to beldaruit, and then he eventually broke out of his shell when he met olruggio, but as he got older he got better at pretending and pushing through pain so... its not common for anyone to see him having this type of episode.
Distrust adults I feel like as a teen he became hyperaware of how many horrible and biased masters and witches there were. As a kid she didn't really trust anyone but Beldaruit, and as a teen-adult he because just paranoid of all of the abusive masters and the brimmed caps so he's not someone to get trust from easily.
Carries snacks ALL the time and always has because of his migraines and for others, then primarily for the girls, but we know he likes cooking in general so it's fitting I think.
Not necessarily underweight, but can't really gain weight nor do that easily, i like to think the food he eats feeds and fuels the SWT parasite so most of the nutrients go the the tree then to him, and as a kid because of this it was very very very hard to fix manage his malnutrition and this had Beldaruit so so worried
Migraines with aura, sometimes disabling (my personal fave projection to give all my faves),because of his eye, sensitivity to lights, and his going vision. As a child he would get sick a lot because of this, even getting abdominal migraines (projecting again... giving him my CVS)
Gets startled easily in comfortable settings, around Olly, Beldaruit and the girls but can hide it
Scars on wrist and ankle from restrains(? see chapter 36) so he wears long sleeves
very awkward and introverted, if hes in a position where he has to genuinely have a conversation with someone, if he gets really embarrassed he will just up and leave to 'save' himself
likes to read but doesn't much anymore because of his eye, beldaruit used to read to him a lot ( i like the headcanon that he got his name from a book Beldadruit read to him and that Beldaruit used to read to him all the time)
He has a weird thing about opening or fixing things that are mean to be open but "can't" or are stuck....he has to open them somehow no matter what.
Had a bad grounding habit of digging his nails into the scars of the rope/binding/restraint scars -whatever you wanna call them- on his wrist to "correct" himself.
Always feels cold, Olruggio radiates warmth, so when cold he lingers by olruggio
Very clumsy/poor depth perception, but apologizes to everything he bumps into
Beldaruit likes to physically send letters, and he does with a little origami dragon all. the. time. That's his son your honor, his first baby..
WELL BOYS!!! thats all i have for right now, ive got a futbol game to get too and my keyboard is messing up, the spacebar is being really weird... with that being said i apologize for poor grammar and everything being all over the place, but i hope you guys liked this and will comment more of your ideas or any input ya'll have on mine, and i wouldn't mind fic recs.... and i'd be glad to recommend some as well... i might come back with more soon, i always forget i have social media, especially tumblr, buti. hope toget more ideas from youguys! idk ifyoucan tell but my SPACCEBARisn't working andits pissinf me off.... okay goodbye
origamiaround
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