Have you ever loved someone so much that you're scared to death of losing them? Have you ever loved someone so much that you think it would take a lifetime to get over them? Have you ever loved someone so much that you gave your all to them, without expecting anything in return? They say that moving on is remembering without hurting. I think I've moved on, because I can remember you without ending up in tears. But why is it that when I remember you, a fading heartache flashes through my healing heart? Why did you have to leave me with so much to remember, when you were only meant to leave in the end? Why did you have to love me, if in the end, I'd end up hating myself because of loving you back? Why did you have to make me fall so deep, that it seems like getting back up is an impossible feat? Why did you have to promise me so many things, only to end up breaking all of me in the end? Why did you have to come in my life, when in the end, you were just going to fuck me up? I want to make you feel even just a half of the pain I'm feeling right now, but I can't, because your life is going so well without me. Actually, I know you. I know the real you. You're broken & ugly deep inside, so you prefer to mask yourself with a façade of a tough aura. You smoke, you inhale nicotine in hope of searching solace. You shower yourself with women, so you could fill the emptiness in your heart that your mother couldn't ever fill. I could've given you the world and so much more, but I guess even I'm not enough for you. I wish I could've been the one for you, but honestly, I know that I deserve better. I wish I wouldn't have fallen for you, but I just can't find it in my heart to take back every single happy moment with you. 11 months, 21 days, 15 hours, 52 minutes and 55 seconds seems like forever within a numbered days for you, but for me, it was just a stolen blissful moment fleeting through the book of my life. I was only a star in your sky, yet you were my whole damn galaxy. I was just a chapter in your book, yet you were my book's main character. I was just a piece of cigarette you used to satisfy your cravings and make you forget, yet you were my drug, for I couldn't get enough of craving for the high you gave me, even though I know you're bad for me. I was your sun, only appearing whenever you felt like being happy, yet you were my moon because you shone through the darkness of my life. I thought you were going to be my constant, but once again, I was proved that change is the only constant in this world. Thanks a lot for fucking breaking my heart. Because of you, I'm too scared to feel anything remotely close to falling in love anymore. I'm too scared of going through the same kind of hell you've put me through when I was with you. You were my heaven; you gave me bliss. You were my hell; you gave me a spark that ignited a passionate fire. You're a demon who corrupted an angel. You're a tempting serpent. You were so dangerous, so wrong, yet you and I just felt so right. You were the cause; you brought me pain. You were the cure; you were the sunshine through the rain. I thought nothing could ever break us apart. But everything that falls gets broken... And it's so fucking unfair how you easily fell out of love from me, while I'm still so fucking in love with you. I'm getting over you, I'm getting to the point of no return. Just wait.
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