Refuse.

My heart was pierced by cupids bow, and it took me three years to bleed out 

[themelancholyhuntress]

Walk

You decide to take a walk. A walk amongst the forest of edification. Bare feet meet the solid surface below with a soft slap. You can feel the warm night air on your cool skin, humid and sweet; the taint of exhaust is thick in the air.

You can feel your bones trying to push their way out to meet it.

Pulling and straining. Taut canvas over an ill-fitting frame. The night air fills your lungs and you feel your ribs jostle for position, one over the other.

Around the corner, you spot another walker, pacing…

Pacing.

They look up at you with vacant eyes from behind a bench. You feel phantom appendages make themselves known once again. You bound them away, but they keep reappearing. You hunch and hope nobody sees them dancing at the edges of your clothes.

The stranger smiles.

You walk further into the night. Further into time. You feel the grime building up on your feet. There is no moon out tonight. You follow neon-citrus lights that burn every last star out of the sky.

You find a park. Abandoned. Its children back home, dreaming away an empty night.

You lie on the grass as you feel entropy take hold of your being,

And wait for it to get quiet again.

[themelancholyhuntress]

I feel myself changing so quickly, that I don't even know who I am now.

Let alone last year, which was lived by another, a hazy apparition, a few passages in an unwritten book.

I do not know who will look at me when I look in the mirror, who will look back, will I recognize them? Will they recognize me?

I fear I'll wake to a stranger in my bed, who is so familiar and unknown.

I fear for the friend who I've forgotten, who became so estranged. What was the sound of her laugh? What lessons did she teach me?

And what does it mean when I feel as if I've lost all sense of self?

Like watercolor I've bled out into my surroundings, people, places and jobs. Now there's nothing left

When I look in the mirror.

December Thoughts 7.12.17 - K.L.H.

[themelancholyhuntress]

Paths

These days seem filled with starless skies, I’ve been left inside this endless night. Please let me shut these weary eyes.

The Great Bear, it seems, has stolen my light And The Scale is tipped so heavily right, Oh, these days seem filled with starless skies.

This unlit road leads so far from home, Unknown and alone, does it seem like I’ve grown? Please let me shut these weary eyes.

Alas, the Moon herself has abandoned my plight, And the demons dance through my heart and mind. These days seem filled with starless skies.

Though when dawn breaks and the songbirds sing aloud, I’ll stand not triumphant but humbled and proud. Please let me shut these weary eyes.

One day, amongst darkened constellations, though not now, I will lie. These days seem filled with starless skies. Please let me shut these weary eyes.

[themelancholyhuntress]

Lament

I swear the snow started falling six years ago now, But still the pines shudder and shake with the sound Of trumpets triumphant in dragging me down. Please tell me:

How long till I’ll be found?

[themelancholyhuntress]

Heal Thyself

Duty bound, honour bound.

Another soul bonded.

If you dissect away the fascia You will find muscle. You will find bone.

Strength. Inspiration. Numbered breaths. Wasted youth. Hidden sacrifices.

Humans treated inhumanly who need to be human. Sometimes.

Empathy toggle.

Faulty synapses salved with liquid and fire. Candles burning too bright, from both ends. And the middle.

Beacons that get payed no mind, even though they gave, and lost, their own.

[themelancholyhuntress]

Capricorn

Stare into my pupils and see if you can taunt My soul out of those black moons. Wind the cloth around savaged fingers. Heavy lungs filled with loam shattering my Ribs with a violent constriction.

It hurts but I can’t feel.

Tempestuous, tachycardic, Tearing up all the pages. Threnody for the insensate who Burnt up all the incense trying to cure the endless.

Lackadaisical shudder slides its way through. Half-hearted flailing in a sea of awareness. Apathy persists in the face of an attempt, It drags its nails into meek flesh.

The cycle claims another existence.

[themelancholyhuntress]

How To Live Forever and Other Such Thoughts

I’m growing old and I will die soon. But I’ll live forever won’t I mummy? The end of this beginning is the beginning of the end. But where is the middle? It seems I’ve left the gas on. Please drag me through the fire, I deserve it because I’ve sinned. Pride is not a sin. How long have I been disconnected? Please don’t let me die, I haven’t updated yet. I don’t even understand why I continue to breathe. Purify. Pure if I. How can I live forever if I’m not connected? Do I exist outside of existence? I don’t think I’ll eat chocolate anymore. But why is your kindness so cruel? I don’t believe the sky is blue. What if? When if? Blood is a beautiful ink. Make sure you capture all of the perfect moments, then torture the humanity out of them. Ba-Dum Ba-Dum is the sound of my heart beating itself to death. Because I will die soon, I have no connection. Please say hello for me.

[themelancholyhuntress]

Rest

Leave the rest to me. I will take you home. Take your rest and see. The lanterns in the gloam.

Leave the rest to me. Watch the fires burn. Take your rest and see. The shores for which you yearn.

Leave the rest to me. Give me your weary head. Take your rest and see. The waves become your bed.

[themelancholyhuntress]

Eros

My heart was pierced by Cupid's arrow And it took me three years to bleed out.