I can't sleep.
Its a very common thing for me. The amount of electricity passing threw every neuron, it's driving me insane.
I haven't wrote much, being, in latent terms "down on my self,"
I've seemingly lost the closeness with my best friend, brother more like. He has finally found someone he loves, deeply. We don't get to be hooligans anymore, running across town on our scooters at mid night for "taco hell."
Hanging out with Krys and Kat, which is Krys's girlfriend, I've seen what true happiness looks like. I get to see them hug and kiss. It's really special you know, to know that your brother has finally found someone he loves with all his heart. This boy would do anything for her, and does everything for her.
Sometimes it gets to me. To see such genuine love and compassion, It just hurts sometimes to see it. Because it's like im looking at you and me. I want this to stop bothering me, it's been almost a year. It needed to happen, I know. You are so much better with him.
I've made some progress lately though. Im getting my old job back, everyone there has missed me.
Im turning to writing again, to myself, or on here.
My fingers just glide across the keyboard, spelling out sentences and paragraphs of stuff I think about, poetry, things i just want to type out and delete just to drag them out of my head and unto this screen.
You know, I really think from here on out things will get better.
Just something tells me everything will work out, all the parts of this radical machine in my head will work together again. See that maybe you have to hit rock bottom to really appreciate this life, and all it gives you, and can take away from you.
Tell me when you read this.
Thank you for still being here for me.
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