april 7 • i almost d***
that was one of the most unfortunate day that happened to me this year. it wasn't on my "things to do before turning 30" list.
a very random and normal day. i was in front of my pc doing my usual things a.k.a working. suddenly, i felt really light headed. i honestly thought it was bec of my bra, i unclipped it. heavy breathing. this is weird. my fingers and toes are starting to get cold. almost numb. told my sister, i wasn't feeling well and she should call mom and dad. in my mind, i was annoyed by how she handle such an urgent thing! she was too calm for this, and too slow.
anyway, i focused on my breathing. i knew it wasn't normal. finally mom and dad came. they told me to just calm down, maybe it will pass. i should just lie down and rest. after minutes, nothing changes. that's when i asked them to bring me to the hospital asap. my bp went high, i saw my arm went purple when my sister made a bp test on me! inside i was panicking, but my body was so weak for this. i kept moving my fingers and toes at least, just so they wouldn't be numb.
mom hugged me. i could feel a little calm bec of my mom's hug. i needed it so bad. my uncle's car came, and we went to the hospital. this was a first time for me. i was sent to an emergency, we all don't know what will happen but i prayed that everything will be okay. i have so many goals and dreams in mind. i think about my family, i think about him.
lights are blurry in my sight. the nurses tried to calm me down so they could do an ecg. i forced myself to stay still, my arms and legs would do a little shiver but thankfully i managed. after that, i could slowly feel warmth from my mom's hands. and my uncle's girlfriend tried to massage my feet too. i needed it and i appreciate all their efforts.
i was so scared.
i still felt a little weak but i think my bp went to normal. i could talk for a while at least it was an improvement.
i was scared but so are they. i could see the concern and love in my family's eyes. i don't want to leave them, it's not yet my time.
i told the nurses i would like to be confined and ask for a doctor's advice about my health. i was at the hospital for 3days and 2nights. i almost regretted it bec i couldn't sleep. but it is for the best.
after tests and observations, they told us that i have low potassium. cause is still unknown. it could be bec of thyroid, kidney problem, eating habits, etc. they still couldn't find the main reason bec all my tests are normal. follow up check up soon. i am currently feeling okay physically but anxiety really strikes me.
i just wish it is not something serious. i want to be healed and just do normal 30 year old things and live longer.