Lucille Tracy

A RP account for Lucille Tracy. Happy to do Ghost RP's, PRE-IR RPs, if discussed first. Thanks @mrs-eviltedi. for the icon!

[starman-john-tracy]

@themrstracy:

It had always been harder to sleep when the bed was half empty, but when the boys had arrived it had gotten even harder. Every noise, every little shift of light, or flutter of a breeze, all seemed like something she needed to hear, something that could have been mistaken for one of her boys needing her.

Usually she had Jeff to persuade her that all was well and that she should sleep. Usually she had the security of knowing he was there and would undoubtedly know what to do in an emergency. Usually Jeff was somewhere much closer to Earth than Mars.

So when John comes padding into their room, she’s still wide awake, mind reeling with the possibilities of all the things that might go wrong before dawn. His nightmare strikes her chest with cold, sharp fear, the whole thing just another reminder of what could happen out there so many millions of miles away.

She has to keep a brave face though, plastering on a reassuring smile she reaches out and draws him up into her lap. Her thumbs wipe at his cheeks as she begins to hum softly, waiting for him to settle in her arms.

Because the problem is, for a boy so young, John is so ridiculously smart. Where simple reassurance would have worked in a moment to calm any of his brothers, her little redhead would simply refute the comments with the logic he knew to be true.

It was the same logic she knew she would have to use to reassure him.

Running her fingers through his hair, she tilted her head as she watches him, “So, let’s think of all the reasons that’s not gonna happen, huh?”

There’s a series of miserable little snuffly noises as she scoops him onto her lap, cuddling him close. There’s a soft, rocking, lulling motion to her arms that feels warm and safe and the sweet little tune has his lashes fluttering, clearly very sleepy but still far too agitated to drop off. He feels skinny and a little shivery against her, with his cotton pyjamas and bare feet. He tucks his toes into the crook of his Mother’s knee, drawing his own knees up to his chest in a little ball, preserving warmth. It sure is a weird way for a kid to sit, especially compared to his sprawling, messy brothers, but John never worries about what’s normal.

“R-Reasons?” If he looks at Jeff like he put the stars in the sky, then he looks up at Lucille in that moment like she made them for him. His nose wrinkles, freckle-spotted and considering and the tears start to dry up as he’s distracted from them by thinking.

“I... He’s got Uncle Lee.” John points out, tentative, uncertain about that perk. Most of what he knows about Uncle Lee is that he’s quite forgetful, always leaving something at their house, and that he gives really hard hair ruffles. He called him Jim once. John’s not sure about that. “Dad...” There’s a little gulp of breath, tremulous in his chest, still thickly edged with anxiety. “He’s got lots of gear. For s-setting up the station. Th-that’ll keep him safe, right? There’s r-regulations.”

[themrstracy]

[Nightmares of Mars RP]

@starman-john-tracy

“Oh! Can we!” John’s grin is like sunshine breaking through a thick bank of clouds; warm and sweet and ever so endearing. He’s already got the web page minimized and the mouse hovering over the program that NASA installed for them to be able to message her husband, eagerly awaiting her nod.

The camera loads as he jabs a finger down on the icon, their faces blooming in replica, mirrored, on the screen in front of them. John, suddenly self conscious, wriggles a little more on her lap, flatting down the wild curl of his forelock with baby fingers and trying to sit up straighter in the hopes that their Dad’ll call him such a big boy.

“Hi Dad.” He grins, all gap-teeth and freckles, as he hits record. “Hows Mars?!? I still can’t believe you’re actually up there! It’s so coooool! The guy’s at school don’t even believe me,” His little nose wrinkles, slightly put-out, “but Scott says that’s jus’ cause they’re dumb.” That hint at John’s relationship with his peers is… mildly concerning, but John launches into his own little tirade about atmospheric pressure and oxygen tanks and looking out for Uncle Lee, and the comment is lost in the flood. He bounces on her knee, vibrant with the joy of talking to his Father, little hands more animate when he’s chattering one-sided to a computer screen about space than they ever are when chatting with his brothers.

John moves on from space and babbles away about school and how great science class is and how he can totally do all the equations better than anyone in his class and that there was this one boy who he helped in math even though he’d stolen his lunchbox.

It might be worth making a note to follow that up later. Still, it won’t be long until she stops hearing about the bullies from anyone but Scott or, when she has to pick up her boy with a split lip and a black eye, the principal. John’s often too quiet for his own good.

She’s taken off guard as a chubby hand slips into hers, giving her fingers a warm squeeze.

“Mom?” A cold nose is pressed against her arm and he looks up at her from under his lashes. Those eyes are the same blue-green shade her own Mother’s had been, full of curiosity. “Is there anything you wanna say to Dad?”

He’ll wiggle away from his brother’s, needing personal space that he doesn’t know how to vocalize yet, but with his Mom he’s almost the textbook definition of clingy; hot and small and smushed up against her with no room for the definition of proximity.

Maybe, he’ll realize years later, that’s a part of why he becomes so distant after she’s gone.

She smiles and squeezes him tight at the offer, all other thoughts pushed momentarily to one side. None of it was anything she could fix immediately anyway. 

There was plenty she wanted to tell her husband, so far away and missing so much. Not much of it was meant for little ears though, not at that early hour of the day when other little boys might too over hear. 

“Miss you Honey,” She smiled to the recording, “Stay safe out there.”

Maybe she could have said something more. Out of her boys, John was the least likely to repeat something he had overheard to listening ears. She knew that for a fact, remembering how he had come crying to her late one night having overheard that the landing might have been called off because of a dust storm. He could have gone to Scott, but instead he had gone to her. 

It was John’s recording though, his chance to speak to his father about space in the same way Scott talked to him about planes. She wasn’t going to take it over from him. 

[starman-john-tracy]

@themrstracy:

It had always been harder to sleep when the bed was half empty, but when the boys had arrived it had gotten even harder. Every noise, every little shift of light, or flutter of a breeze, all seemed like something she needed to hear, something that could have been mistaken for one of her boys needing her.

Usually she had Jeff to persuade her that all was well and that she should sleep. Usually she had the security of knowing he was there and would undoubtedly know what to do in an emergency. Usually Jeff was somewhere much closer to Earth than Mars.

So when John comes padding into their room, she’s still wide awake, mind reeling with the possibilities of all the things that might go wrong before dawn. His nightmare strikes her chest with cold, sharp fear, the whole thing just another reminder of what could happen out there so many millions of miles away.

She has to keep a brave face though, plastering on a reassuring smile she reaches out and draws him up into her lap. Her thumbs wipe at his cheeks as she begins to hum softly, waiting for him to settle in her arms.

Because the problem is, for a boy so young, John is so ridiculously smart. Where simple reassurance would have worked in a moment to calm any of his brothers, her little redhead would simply refute the comments with the logic he knew to be true.

It was the same logic she knew she would have to use to reassure him.

Running her fingers through his hair, she tilted her head as she watches him, “So, let’s think of all the reasons that’s not gonna happen, huh?”

There’s a series of miserable little snuffly noises as she scoops him onto her lap, cuddling him close. There’s a soft, rocking, lulling motion to her arms that feels warm and safe and the sweet little tune has his lashes fluttering, clearly very sleepy but still far too agitated to drop off. He feels skinny and a little shivery against her, with his cotton pyjamas and bare feet. He tucks his toes into the crook of his Mother’s knee, drawing his own knees up to his chest in a little ball, preserving warmth. It sure is a weird way for a kid to sit, especially compared to his sprawling, messy brothers, but John never worries about what’s normal.

“R-Reasons?” If he looks at Jeff like he put the stars in the sky, then he looks up at Lucille in that moment like she made them for him. His nose wrinkles, freckle-spotted and considering and the tears start to dry up as he’s distracted from them by thinking.

“I... He’s got Uncle Lee.” John points out, tentative, uncertain about that perk. Most of what he knows about Uncle Lee is that he’s quite forgetful, always leaving something at their house, and that he gives really hard hair ruffles. He called him Jim once. John’s not sure about that. “Dad...” There’s a little gulp of breath, tremulous in his chest, still thickly edged with anxiety. “He’s got lots of gear. For s-setting up the station. Th-that’ll keep him safe, right? There’s r-regulations.”

[themrstracy]

Nightmares of Mars [RP]

@starman-john-tracy

It’s literally child’s play for John to pull out the three-dimensional rendering of the red planet, spinning it with nimble little fingers until he finds the grey dots on the map that represent his Father and Lee.

“He’s near the planet’s equator,” John tells her, his eyes never leaving the map, “Latitude 3° south, longitude 344°. He’s in the Sinus Sabaeus quadrangle!” That obviously means something exciting to him at least. “That’s the Schiaparelli crater!” He’s practically bouncing in his seat; a big change from the quiet, miserable little boy at the breakfast table this morning.

“What do you think he’s doing there Mom?” Small, socked feet swing under the desk, not seeming to notice as they bump against her on the rebound. “Collecting mineral samples? Taking out the rover? Building the new HAB shelters?”

Lucy can only hold on tight to John as he wriggles in excitement with all his questions. For a moment she fears that he might slip out of her lap, but she knows that really it’s only the overprotective mother in her. His words don’t mean an awful lot her, more astro-science than her engineering degree taught her. 

It’s both a reassurance and a worry to know that Jeff was out, away from his and Lee’s base. Far from safety where there were more backups in place and less chance of things going wrong. At least she knew where he was though, at least she could physically see that he was moving across the planets surface, so clearly up to something in the way that Jeff was always was. 

As much as she wishes she could promise that John would be able to ask Jeff later what he was up to, she knew that the false hope could potentially be devastating.

There was one idea though...

“How about,” She smiled to John, “we take a video to send to him, and then next time we talk to him he can tell us?”

Because maybe they didn’t know when they’d next get to speak to him live, but there was nothing that said they couldn’t sent a video message in the time being. 

[starman-john-tracy]

@themrstracy:

It had always been harder to sleep when the bed was half empty, but when the boys had arrived it had gotten even harder. Every noise, every little shift of light, or flutter of a breeze, all seemed like something she needed to hear, something that could have been mistaken for one of her boys needing her.

Usually she had Jeff to persuade her that all was well and that she should sleep. Usually she had the security of knowing he was there and would undoubtedly know what to do in an emergency. Usually Jeff was somewhere much closer to Earth than Mars.

So when John comes padding into their room, she’s still wide awake, mind reeling with the possibilities of all the things that might go wrong before dawn. His nightmare strikes her chest with cold, sharp fear, the whole thing just another reminder of what could happen out there so many millions of miles away.

She has to keep a brave face though, plastering on a reassuring smile she reaches out and draws him up into her lap. Her thumbs wipe at his cheeks as she begins to hum softly, waiting for him to settle in her arms.

Because the problem is, for a boy so young, John is so ridiculously smart. Where simple reassurance would have worked in a moment to calm any of his brothers, her little redhead would simply refute the comments with the logic he knew to be true.

It was the same logic she knew she would have to use to reassure him.

Running her fingers through his hair, she tilted her head as she watches him, “So, let’s think of all the reasons that’s not gonna happen, huh?”

There’s a series of miserable little snuffly noises as she scoops him onto her lap, cuddling him close. There’s a soft, rocking, lulling motion to her arms that feels warm and safe and the sweet little tune has his lashes fluttering, clearly very sleepy but still far too agitated to drop off. He feels skinny and a little shivery against her, with his cotton pyjamas and bare feet. He tucks his toes into the crook of his Mother’s knee, drawing his own knees up to his chest in a little ball, preserving warmth. It sure is a weird way for a kid to sit, especially compared to his sprawling, messy brothers, but John never worries about what’s normal.

“R-Reasons?” If he looks at Jeff like he put the stars in the sky, then he looks up at Lucille in that moment like she made them for him. His nose wrinkles, freckle-spotted and considering and the tears start to dry up as he’s distracted from them by thinking.

“I... He’s got Uncle Lee.” John points out, tentative, uncertain about that perk. Most of what he knows about Uncle Lee is that he’s quite forgetful, always leaving something at their house, and that he gives really hard hair ruffles. He called him Jim once. John’s not sure about that. “Dad...” There’s a little gulp of breath, tremulous in his chest, still thickly edged with anxiety. “He’s got lots of gear. For s-setting up the station. Th-that’ll keep him safe, right? There’s r-regulations.”

[themrstracy]

Nightmares of Mars

@starman-john-tracy

“Can we?” He brightens instantly at that idea. If there’s one thing little John loves almost as much as space and the idea of following in his Daddy’s footsteps, then it’s technology.

The computer is a shiny, holographic-screened promise of the future. A take-home from Tracy Industries, the company his Father is building up between stints in space, and John is an absolute whiz on it. A prodigy even. He barely comes up to her waist, and yet the kid can do more with a computer than probably even his Father can - coding games and creating programs to help with his and his brother’s homework.

There’s something eager and bouncy to him as he takes his Mom’s hand and tugs her, excitedly, toward her and Jeff’s bedroom. Scrambling up onto the dangerously tippy chair, his fingers dance over the hardlight keyboard, logging in far faster than she’d have been able to. Not only is his reading ability far above his age group, but so are his typing skills. It shouldn’t be such a surprise really; he regularly stays late at school for Computer Club while Scott’s got soccer - his passions very different from his sibling’s.

A search engine gets pulled up with a flick of nimble little hands, the word Mars typed into the bar it provides and, with one quick click, the NASA website blooms across the screen, highlighting his little face with dusky tones of orange and brown. He seems to stall a little there, blue-green eyes flicking up to his Mom’s face to check it’s alright, before he clicks the link for Astronaut, Col.Jefferson Grant Tracy and brings her husband’s face and biography to the fore.

There’s a long moment of silence as the both of them just stare at the man they love so much.

“H-Hi Dad.” It’s not much more than a whisper from John, likely not intended for her to hear. A little hand presses itself to the holotype screen where his Father’s face beams out at him, Jeff dressed smart and handsome in his crew uniform.

It’s almost mind-bending to think this man is 85.759 million kilometres away from them right now.

And it’s going to be a long, long time before he gets home.

An image will never be quite the same as the real thing, is something Lucy long ago learned probably when she was only a few years older than John is now. It was better than nothing though, it is something they can reach out and touch and talk to. A stand in for when the man himself is unavailable and on the wrong side of Mars to be contacted until that evening. 

Which is probably something John would have been able to tell her if she had asked. 

“Does it show you where he is right now?” She prompts, knowing the answer really but wanting to distract the boy from the image that wasn’t going to talk back. 

John takes only a second to look up to her before his hand drops from the screen and is back at the keys, tapping away until a new screen appears. 

It didn’t make the distance any less, didn’t make her feel like he was any closer to home than he really was. When it was something to do though, something to see and give proof that Jeff and Lee were really there, on the red planet, safe and protected by the colony they were setting up. 

It wasn’t as good as having him home, but being able to see where he was was something.

[starman-john-tracy]

@themrstracy:

It had always been harder to sleep when the bed was half empty, but when the boys had arrived it had gotten even harder. Every noise, every little shift of light, or flutter of a breeze, all seemed like something she needed to hear, something that could have been mistaken for one of her boys needing her.

Usually she had Jeff to persuade her that all was well and that she should sleep. Usually she had the security of knowing he was there and would undoubtedly know what to do in an emergency. Usually Jeff was somewhere much closer to Earth than Mars.

So when John comes padding into their room, she’s still wide awake, mind reeling with the possibilities of all the things that might go wrong before dawn. His nightmare strikes her chest with cold, sharp fear, the whole thing just another reminder of what could happen out there so many millions of miles away.

She has to keep a brave face though, plastering on a reassuring smile she reaches out and draws him up into her lap. Her thumbs wipe at his cheeks as she begins to hum softly, waiting for him to settle in her arms.

Because the problem is, for a boy so young, John is so ridiculously smart. Where simple reassurance would have worked in a moment to calm any of his brothers, her little redhead would simply refute the comments with the logic he knew to be true.

It was the same logic she knew she would have to use to reassure him.

Running her fingers through his hair, she tilted her head as she watches him, “So, let’s think of all the reasons that’s not gonna happen, huh?”

There’s a series of miserable little snuffly noises as she scoops him onto her lap, cuddling him close. There’s a soft, rocking, lulling motion to her arms that feels warm and safe and the sweet little tune has his lashes fluttering, clearly very sleepy but still far too agitated to drop off. He feels skinny and a little shivery against her, with his cotton pyjamas and bare feet. He tucks his toes into the crook of his Mother’s knee, drawing his own knees up to his chest in a little ball, preserving warmth. It sure is a weird way for a kid to sit, especially compared to his sprawling, messy brothers, but John never worries about what’s normal.

“R-Reasons?” If he looks at Jeff like he put the stars in the sky, then he looks up at Lucille in that moment like she made them for him. His nose wrinkles, freckle-spotted and considering and the tears start to dry up as he’s distracted from them by thinking.

“I... He’s got Uncle Lee.” John points out, tentative, uncertain about that perk. Most of what he knows about Uncle Lee is that he’s quite forgetful, always leaving something at their house, and that he gives really hard hair ruffles. He called him Jim once. John’s not sure about that. “Dad...” There’s a little gulp of breath, tremulous in his chest, still thickly edged with anxiety. “He’s got lots of gear. For s-setting up the station. Th-that’ll keep him safe, right? There’s r-regulations.”

[themrstracy]

Nightmares of Mars | RP

@starman-john-tracy

“Mmm… Just readin’.” John wiggles a little as she reaches for him. The well-worn book he’s acquired between the kitchen and living space nearly becomes a casualty of trying to duck out the way of further hair ruffles. His little face is stony-miserable and the planet Mars is as obvious and orange as his hair, right in the middle of the splayed-open pages on his lap. “I don’t have enough information.” John tells her, rubbing a hand over his eyes again, not yet weepy but prickly with the kind of awful heat that suggests they might get that way. It seems to frustrate him. It’s affecting his reading comprehension for a start, and John is very proud of his above-age reading ability. He reads to whoever will listen every night. “There’s got to be more than this out there.” He insists, unclear if he means information or planetary wise. The dog-eared corners are getting too thin-and fumbly for his blurry vision and little fingers.

He’s a little shaky, though he doesn’t seem to realise it.

“Mom.” Her boy looks up at her all big blue-green eyes, red-rimmed and full of plea, “Can I walk to the library? I won’t be out long.” They both know that second bit is a lie. Despite John’s best intentions, the minute he gets inside that rickety hall full of battered old books, time loses all meaning for him. “I’ve already read everything they’ve got, but maybe I missed something, or… or… they might have something new in.” He looks so hopeful. It’ll be hard when old Mrs. Jenkins, the Library Clerk, has to let him down as always.

Their small town in Kansas just doesn’t have the big astrophysics books her young son craves. And that’s a darn shame.

Part of Lucy wants to let him go to the library, but in reality she knows he would only be disappointed by what he found there. 

Not to mention that she knows she would somehow have to find time in the day to go and find him and drag him out from the pile of books he would no doubt accumulate. She is proud, happy that he was quite as academic as he is. With three other boys though, some days she simply didn’t have the time to trek to the library. 

Today is one of those days. Sally has an appointment in town later which will leave Lucy on her own to manage the boys. 

She had always known the day would end up being a write off for any work that she had planned so it was just as well that she hadn’t planned any at all.

“How about,” She murmured, wary of drawing the attention of any of the others, “You and me go and have a look on Google? I can bet there’ll be lots of information on there for you.”

It’s a rare treat to be allowed on her computer for anything other than homework, but if it would distract him for a little bit it would be worth it. 

[starman-john-tracy]

@themrstracy:

It had always been harder to sleep when the bed was half empty, but when the boys had arrived it had gotten even harder. Every noise, every little shift of light, or flutter of a breeze, all seemed like something she needed to hear, something that could have been mistaken for one of her boys needing her.

Usually she had Jeff to persuade her that all was well and that she should sleep. Usually she had the security of knowing he was there and would undoubtedly know what to do in an emergency. Usually Jeff was somewhere much closer to Earth than Mars.

So when John comes padding into their room, she’s still wide awake, mind reeling with the possibilities of all the things that might go wrong before dawn. His nightmare strikes her chest with cold, sharp fear, the whole thing just another reminder of what could happen out there so many millions of miles away.

She has to keep a brave face though, plastering on a reassuring smile she reaches out and draws him up into her lap. Her thumbs wipe at his cheeks as she begins to hum softly, waiting for him to settle in her arms.

Because the problem is, for a boy so young, John is so ridiculously smart. Where simple reassurance would have worked in a moment to calm any of his brothers, her little redhead would simply refute the comments with the logic he knew to be true.

It was the same logic she knew she would have to use to reassure him.

Running her fingers through his hair, she tilted her head as she watches him, “So, let’s think of all the reasons that’s not gonna happen, huh?”

There’s a series of miserable little snuffly noises as she scoops him onto her lap, cuddling him close. There’s a soft, rocking, lulling motion to her arms that feels warm and safe and the sweet little tune has his lashes fluttering, clearly very sleepy but still far too agitated to drop off. He feels skinny and a little shivery against her, with his cotton pyjamas and bare feet. He tucks his toes into the crook of his Mother’s knee, drawing his own knees up to his chest in a little ball, preserving warmth. It sure is a weird way for a kid to sit, especially compared to his sprawling, messy brothers, but John never worries about what’s normal.

“R-Reasons?” If he looks at Jeff like he put the stars in the sky, then he looks up at Lucille in that moment like she made them for him. His nose wrinkles, freckle-spotted and considering and the tears start to dry up as he’s distracted from them by thinking.

“I... He’s got Uncle Lee.” John points out, tentative, uncertain about that perk. Most of what he knows about Uncle Lee is that he’s quite forgetful, always leaving something at their house, and that he gives really hard hair ruffles. He called him Jim once. John’s not sure about that. “Dad...” There’s a little gulp of breath, tremulous in his chest, still thickly edged with anxiety. “He’s got lots of gear. For s-setting up the station. Th-that’ll keep him safe, right? There’s r-regulations.”

[themrstracy]

Nightmares of Mars [RP]

John’s quiet the following morning. He’s usually a quiet little boy in general, more often found curled up with one of his books than screaming through the fields like his brothers, but the stillness that comes with this kind of quiet strikes her as odd. Scott had been very careful, while sneaking in and snuggling up, not to wake his precious little brother, but there’s something worn and tired about the way John’s head hangs over his oatmeal, his feet dangling limply under the big, wooden kitchen table instead of swinging like his sibling’s. John stirs the mixture in his bowl in listless circles, one little hand gripped tight around the spoon handle but his head very clearly off in space.

On closer inspection, his cheeks are still a little puffy with his earlier crying fit, and he seems as tuckered out as if he’s spent a whole day chasing his brothers around the farmyard, but it’s only early morning.

Scott, opposite, had demolished his breakfast long ago and is itching to go out and play. Little Virgil bangs his licked-clean spoon on the table in an insistence that he go join him and baby Gordon just gurgles and shrieks, wriggly and content as Jeff’s Mom spoons oats into his mouth with a series of aeroplane noises.

“Aren’t you such a big man!”

John drops his spoon, and pushes the bowl away.

“I’m not hungry.” He says, quiet and soft, not meeting anyone’s eye. “Please may I get down from the table?”

Lucy is just coming in to the kitchen from the study when she hears John’s request, and before she even looks she just knows that his oatmeal will have been hardly touched. 

She deals with Scott and Virgil first, setting the both of them up with some paints on the porch just in view of the door so Sally can keep an eye on them. The older woman is more than willing to deal with Gordon, her concerned glances in John’s direction something Lucy makes a mental note to update her on later. For the time being it isn’t something worth airing to the whole family. She doesn’t want to put John in further emotional distress by giving the rest of the family something to fuss over him about. 

“Hey kid,” she murmurs, running a hand through his hair as she sits next to him on the sofa, “Whatcha doin’?”

[starman-john-tracy]

@themrstracy:

It had always been harder to sleep when the bed was half empty, but when the boys had arrived it had gotten even harder. Every noise, every little shift of light, or flutter of a breeze, all seemed like something she needed to hear, something that could have been mistaken for one of her boys needing her.

Usually she had Jeff to persuade her that all was well and that she should sleep. Usually she had the security of knowing he was there and would undoubtedly know what to do in an emergency. Usually Jeff was somewhere much closer to Earth than Mars.

So when John comes padding into their room, she’s still wide awake, mind reeling with the possibilities of all the things that might go wrong before dawn. His nightmare strikes her chest with cold, sharp fear, the whole thing just another reminder of what could happen out there so many millions of miles away.

She has to keep a brave face though, plastering on a reassuring smile she reaches out and draws him up into her lap. Her thumbs wipe at his cheeks as she begins to hum softly, waiting for him to settle in her arms.

Because the problem is, for a boy so young, John is so ridiculously smart. Where simple reassurance would have worked in a moment to calm any of his brothers, her little redhead would simply refute the comments with the logic he knew to be true.

It was the same logic she knew she would have to use to reassure him.

Running her fingers through his hair, she tilted her head as she watches him, “So, let’s think of all the reasons that’s not gonna happen, huh?”

There’s a series of miserable little snuffly noises as she scoops him onto her lap, cuddling him close. There’s a soft, rocking, lulling motion to her arms that feels warm and safe and the sweet little tune has his lashes fluttering, clearly very sleepy but still far too agitated to drop off. He feels skinny and a little shivery against her, with his cotton pyjamas and bare feet. He tucks his toes into the crook of his Mother’s knee, drawing his own knees up to his chest in a little ball, preserving warmth. It sure is a weird way for a kid to sit, especially compared to his sprawling, messy brothers, but John never worries about what’s normal.

“R-Reasons?” If he looks at Jeff like he put the stars in the sky, then he looks up at Lucille in that moment like she made them for him. His nose wrinkles, freckle-spotted and considering and the tears start to dry up as he’s distracted from them by thinking.

“I... He’s got Uncle Lee.” John points out, tentative, uncertain about that perk. Most of what he knows about Uncle Lee is that he’s quite forgetful, always leaving something at their house, and that he gives really hard hair ruffles. He called him Jim once. John’s not sure about that. “Dad...” There’s a little gulp of breath, tremulous in his chest, still thickly edged with anxiety. “He’s got lots of gear. For s-setting up the station. Th-that’ll keep him safe, right? There’s r-regulations.”

[themrstracy]

Nightmares of Mars [RP]

@starman-john-tracy

“Mom?” He notices her pause, the arms tightening protectively around him, her mouth pressing a hot kiss to his hair. He makes a soft little noise at being squished, but it’s more surprised than unwilling. There’s a bit of a giggle. “Mooooom…” He wiggles, just a tad, too sleepy to put much more than that into his mock-protest. Her arms relax to a comfortable cling and John relaxes further into them with it. Her cheek settles against the duckling-down fluff of his ginger hair, and John feels her breath stir the loose strands, tumbling them over his face.

He doesn’t mind though, everything is too sleepy and too heavy and, now his racing pulse has calmed, he goes boneless and soft; safe in his Mom’s arms. There’s an elbow in her side and a leg over her belly, lanky with his latest growth spurt, but he’s breathing softly against her skin, his mouth mumbly and unintelligible, and it’s just like when he’d been a little baby - small enough to rest in the crook of her elbow; all bald and stubby and completely reliant on her for everything.

Moment’s like this, with John, are precious are rare. Unlike his brother’s, John’s not usually such a hugger. He doesn’t even cuddle his teddy bear like the others do; the poor thing just sits high up on a shelf, lonely and watching. There’s a small wobbly yawn from under her chin, the top of his head pressing into her. At least John’s never sucked his thumb, unlike Virgil, who dribbles everywhere when he wants a snuggle.

“M’glad Dad’s got… frens…” John slurs, his eyelids heavy and his breaths light, the small snuffles settling to a steady rhythm, evening out as sleep starts to claim him. “You know… everythin’ Mmm…”

It’s just as well that she has no intention to putting him back to bed, as there’s a soft little first curled tightly in the front of her pyjama top, his cheek smushed against her breastbone, one leg wrapped around her waist. He’s clingy enough that trying to remove him would be as impossible as trying to pull an octopus off its prey.

“L’ve y’u…” It’s little more than a whisper, a last sleepy promise before he’s out for the count, tiny and sweet and something she’ll miss when her boys get a little bigger and stop declaring it so free and easy.

There’s a softness, a quiet, that settles over the little room, now that her baby boy is finally put at ease enough to rest. The wind rattles the window slightly, softy, the sounds of the blustering outside dampened down to smooth soft rushing noises that join Lucille in soothing him. The first soft pastel fingers of dawn are tugging at her curtains, spilling slanted light through the gap to highlight baby-long ginger lashes that cast shadows on his rounded cheeks. It’s such a sweet, precious moment that one might even wish they had a camera to preserve it forever.

“Love you too, little starman.” She murmurs as he settles, her job done, the nightmares staved away. 

She knows she won’t sleep now, even with the reassurance she had given both herself and John. Except, now it isn’t anything to do with the fear of what could happen to her husband or John as he grew. 

Scott was always one to be up with the dawn, so polar opposite to any other child she had ever known. The light around her curtains was enough to assure her that soon he would join them in the big double bed and no doubt ask questions of why John wasn’t in his room and why she wasn’t asleep. 

Much like John, for a kid so young Scott seemed to know far too much. It was Jeff’s doing no doubt, telling the oldest that he was the one in charge until Dad got back and that it was his job to look after his siblings and mother. 

All of them are growing up too fast, getting too big and too clever in far too short a time. She wasn’t sure she was ready. 

As John shifted against her, she had to smile though. At least they had that moment, and so many other moments just like it which she would always savour. 

Maybe she would try and arrange a call again, sooner rather than later. That way he could take a turn in reassuring the other space man of the family that things were all fine.

And when he got back, she muses to herself, it would be Jeff’s turn to get up for all the nightmares.

[starman-john-tracy]

@themrstracy:

It had always been harder to sleep when the bed was half empty, but when the boys had arrived it had gotten even harder. Every noise, every little shift of light, or flutter of a breeze, all seemed like something she needed to hear, something that could have been mistaken for one of her boys needing her.

Usually she had Jeff to persuade her that all was well and that she should sleep. Usually she had the security of knowing he was there and would undoubtedly know what to do in an emergency. Usually Jeff was somewhere much closer to Earth than Mars.

So when John comes padding into their room, she’s still wide awake, mind reeling with the possibilities of all the things that might go wrong before dawn. His nightmare strikes her chest with cold, sharp fear, the whole thing just another reminder of what could happen out there so many millions of miles away.

She has to keep a brave face though, plastering on a reassuring smile she reaches out and draws him up into her lap. Her thumbs wipe at his cheeks as she begins to hum softly, waiting for him to settle in her arms.

Because the problem is, for a boy so young, John is so ridiculously smart. Where simple reassurance would have worked in a moment to calm any of his brothers, her little redhead would simply refute the comments with the logic he knew to be true.

It was the same logic she knew she would have to use to reassure him.

Running her fingers through his hair, she tilted her head as she watches him, “So, let’s think of all the reasons that’s not gonna happen, huh?”

There’s a series of miserable little snuffly noises as she scoops him onto her lap, cuddling him close. There’s a soft, rocking, lulling motion to her arms that feels warm and safe and the sweet little tune has his lashes fluttering, clearly very sleepy but still far too agitated to drop off. He feels skinny and a little shivery against her, with his cotton pyjamas and bare feet. He tucks his toes into the crook of his Mother’s knee, drawing his own knees up to his chest in a little ball, preserving warmth. It sure is a weird way for a kid to sit, especially compared to his sprawling, messy brothers, but John never worries about what’s normal.

“R-Reasons?” If he looks at Jeff like he put the stars in the sky, then he looks up at Lucille in that moment like she made them for him. His nose wrinkles, freckle-spotted and considering and the tears start to dry up as he’s distracted from them by thinking.

“I... He’s got Uncle Lee.” John points out, tentative, uncertain about that perk. Most of what he knows about Uncle Lee is that he’s quite forgetful, always leaving something at their house, and that he gives really hard hair ruffles. He called him Jim once. John’s not sure about that. “Dad...” There’s a little gulp of breath, tremulous in his chest, still thickly edged with anxiety. “He’s got lots of gear. For s-setting up the station. Th-that’ll keep him safe, right? There’s r-regulations.”

[themrstracy]

@starman-john-tracy

Nightmares of Mars [RP]

“T-The primary objective of the International Space Community i-is the preservation of crewm-member health status and monitoring.” John starts to recite, small and nervous, “No crewm-member is allowed out onto the surface a-alone. Each person-personnel must carry both their oxygen tank an’ a spare. N-No sh-sharp objects or any’thing that could easily b-break and get a sharp edge.” John’s voice trembles, but Lucille can feel his racing pulse start to calm as he curls into the safety of his Mother’s arms, pushing his cheek hard into her shoulder with not much awareness of how comfortable it is for her, as all her boys tend to do. “You’ve gotta be real careful that there’s no bagel crumbs in 0G environments.” John says seriously, his eyebrows scrunched. Jeff had, perhaps, meant that one as a joke, but little John seems to have taken it to heart. “It’s bad for mike-microparticles to get into the systems.” Reciting all this seems to give the boy something to ground his thoughts on, to distract himself from thinking about the scary series of telecoms they’d had from NASA about the landing.

Grandpa Grant had read them out at the dinner table.

They told the family they’d asked Jeff and Lee to abort the mission. To give up and come home. Even after many months’ travelling to the planet, their descent through the atmosphere was decided too risky as there was a colossal dust storm consuming the planet. John’s Father and his best friend had decided to take the risk and attempt a landing anyway.

“Humanity never got anywhere by taking it easy!” Dad had been recorded crowing. Many scientists would call him a fool for it, but then, that’s probably the reason they’re not the ones on another planet.

John calls his Dad a hero, like the media does, but not without the knowledge that he’d very nearly been… gone forever.

He can’t even imagine what that would be like. The only death he’s ever experienced had been Grandpa’s scrawny old sheepdog, and that had been horrible, but hardly comparable to losing his Father. There’s a big wall of dread that John’s too young to understand that gets thrown up whenever he thinks about it.

No wonder he was having nightmares.

“Dad meets the an… anthro-p-pometric requirements,” John goes on, and to his credit her boy only struggles a little on such a long word. John’s always been a step or two ahead of his brothers in literacy, his reading age several years above his actual one, and the boy just loves it when Jeff teaches him complicated space words. “That means it reduces his risk of h-health p-problems and makes him a better candy-date.” John doesn’t really fully understand what kind of long term, potentially fatal health problems Jeff is increasing his chances of developing up there, but he sure is bright enough to know they’re a bad thing. A little shiver goes through him. Perhaps the cold, or perhaps the fear. “Uncle Lee said not to worry because he’s ‘got Dad’s back’…” The kid breaks off into a sleepy yawn, his eyes half lidded and his fingers curled. “Does that mean he’ll look after him?” John asks curiously, the vowels a little slurred, “Mmm… Dad has… lots of protective gear. And he sends NASA daily updates, so that they can make sure he’s ok… Lossa peeple have ‘his back’…”

A little fist scrubs at his eyes again; not so weepy this time, just tired - the spiky, rough adrenaline high of the nightmare wearing down into something softer and sleepier in the safe cradle of her arms.

“You think Dad’s gonna come back…?” He mumbles, tilting his chin so that he can blink lazily up at her, “Right Mom?”

John will remember this conversation when he’s twenty-seven, watching and re-watching the footage of the Zero-X violently exploding, searching for any kind of hope their Father might still be alive.

She can feel him getting sleepy against her, his head weighing heavier on his shoulder as his words lost their clarity. Part of her wishes she could protect him from the cruel reality of it all, from the very real possibility that something could go wrong. Another part of her fears for his future, whilst Scott will no doubt follow their father through the air force, its already clear that John’s future lies in space. 

As an engineer, Lucy knows that technology will continue to advance, by the time her little boy is big enough to be making it to Mars there will be more safety protocols, more equipment to keep him out of harms way. As a mother, she hopes that something, somehow, changes his mind. Was it not enough for her to watch her husband leave for the stars? Would she really be able to cope with the thought of receiving the same kind of messages for her baby?

With the thought, she wraps her arms tighter around him, pressing her mouth into his hair and savouring the moment of the pair of them just being. 

There’s no chance that she’s letting him go back to his own bed tonight, even if she knows she really should. Her bed is cold and half empty though, and it would help her sleep at least if she knows at least one of her boys is safe and out of the way of any possible harm. 

“Yeah.” She agrees softly, resting her cheek against his head, “Yeah, lots of people want to make sure he comes home safe kiddo, they’ve all got his back.”

It’s not a new feeling for her to not be able to watch his back, for as long as she had known Jeff he’d been walking into danger promising to be back before she knew it. Except, now they have the boys and it feels entirely different, it feels like one day his luck might run out and she would be left with constant reminders, with boys that were too much like their father. 

Could she bear to see him every single day in each of them, whilst knowing she would never see him again?

John’s question jolts her from her thoughts and she takes a second to scold herself. 

“I know he’s gonna come back.” She assures John as much as she’s reminding herself, “It’s your Dad, he’s as stubborn as any of you boys and then some!” 

Because he had to come back, there wasn’t another option.

[starman-john-tracy]

Nightmares Of Mars [RP]

@themrstracy:

It had always been harder to sleep when the bed was half empty, but when the boys had arrived it had gotten even harder. Every noise, every little shift of light, or flutter of a breeze, all seemed like something she needed to hear, something that could have been mistaken for one of her boys needing her.

Usually she had Jeff to persuade her that all was well and that she should sleep. Usually she had the security of knowing he was there and would undoubtedly know what to do in an emergency. Usually Jeff was somewhere much closer to Earth than Mars.

So when John comes padding into their room, she’s still wide awake, mind reeling with the possibilities of all the things that might go wrong before dawn. His nightmare strikes her chest with cold, sharp fear, the whole thing just another reminder of what could happen out there so many millions of miles away.

She has to keep a brave face though, plastering on a reassuring smile she reaches out and draws him up into her lap. Her thumbs wipe at his cheeks as she begins to hum softly, waiting for him to settle in her arms.

Because the problem is, for a boy so young, John is so ridiculously smart. Where simple reassurance would have worked in a moment to calm any of his brothers, her little redhead would simply refute the comments with the logic he knew to be true.

It was the same logic she knew she would have to use to reassure him.

Running her fingers through his hair, she tilted her head as she watches him, “So, let’s think of all the reasons that’s not gonna happen, huh?”

There’s a series of miserable little snuffly noises as she scoops him onto her lap, cuddling him close. There’s a soft, rocking, lulling motion to her arms that feels warm and safe and the sweet little tune has his lashes fluttering, clearly very sleepy but still far too agitated to drop off. He feels skinny and a little shivery against her, with his cotton pyjamas and bare feet. He tucks his toes into the crook of his Mother’s knees, drawing his knees up to his chest in a little ball, preserving warmth. It sure is a weird way for a kid to sit, especially compared to his sprawling, messy brothers, but John never worries about what’s normal.

“R-Reasons?” If he looks at Jeff like he put the stars in the sky, then he looks up at Lucille in that moment like she made them for him. His nose wrinkles, freckle-spotted and considering and the tears start to dry up as he’s distracted from them by thinking.

“I… He’s got Uncle Lee.” John points out, tentative, uncertain about that perk. Most of what he knows about Uncle Lee is that he’s quite forgetful, always leaving something at their house, and that he gives really hard hair ruffles. He called him Jim once. John’s not sure about that. “Dad…” There’s a little gulp of breath, tremulous in his chest, still thickly edged with anxiety. “He’s got lots of gear. For s-setting up the station. Th-that’ll keep him safe, right? There’s r-regulations.”

[themrstracy]

@starman-john-tracy

Lucy has to hide her little smile at John’s comment about Lee. He didn’t quite get his Uncle’s one-of-a-kind sense of humour, but she hoped that the knowledge that Lee would always have Jeff’s back would be enough to calm him. 

Running her hand through his hair she listens to his other suggestions, knowing the small breath he took was sign enough that he still wasn’t a hundred percent convinced that Jeff would be fine. 

Lucy knew the regulations as well as John did, it had been Jeff’s way of assuring her that all would be well before he left. John had been sat up on the stairs when they had had that conversation, a gasp at some comment or another giving him away and getting him drawn into the reassurances from his father.

John would never learn how to remind himself of the logical solution if she simply gave him the answers though. 

“Exactly,” She murmurs, her hand still in his hair, “Can you remember the regs?”

[themrstracy]

You are a wonderful mother that helped to raise some wonderful boys and left a great legacy.

<3 

[starman-john-tracy]

“How are you feeling?” - Themrstracy

From this ask meme

“Mom?” The kid peers up at her, half his face covered by a little fist, scrubbing at the sleep in his eyes. “I... I had a bad dream.” John tilts his head to the side, biting his lip and peering anxiously around the doorway into Lucille and Jeff’s room. The other side of the double bed to her is cold and empty and her son hangs in the doorway looking nervously at the empty space where his Father should be.

But Jeff’s on a mission. NASA. Mars. Up there with his buddy Lee Taylor and a six pack of beers, no doubt kicked back in some space deckchair smiling fondly at the little blue and green marble of home in the distance. At least, that’s what his holograms make it sound like. In reality none of them doubt the hard work, grit and labour those astronauts are being put through, building the first human colony on another planet. Jeff’s never missed a day’s work in his life.

“I... I dreamed he’s n-not gonna c-come back.” John manages to stammer out, those blue-green eyes of his wide and scared. There’s a suspicious sounding sniffle. Out of all her boys, it’s John who knows the dangers of space travel the best; the dangers his Father is up there facing. Jeff will insist on educating him, though perhaps, not always for the better. “H-His oxygen tank ran out up there,” John tries to explain, “and... and...” There’s a wet sounding hiccup and the boy presses his other hand to his mouth, in some kind of attempt at quiet - so as not to wake his brothers. Especially not with the suggestion that their Father might be... gone.

[themrstracy]

It had always been harder to sleep when the bed was half empty, but when the boys had arrived it had gotten even harder. Every noise, every little shift of light, or flutter of a breeze, all seemed like something she needed to hear, something that could have been mistaken for one of her boys needing her. 

Usually she had Jeff to persuade her that all was well and that she should sleep. Usually she had the security of knowing he was there and would undoubtedly know what to do in an emergency. Usually Jeff was somewhere much closer to earth than Mars. 

So when John comes padding into their room, she’s still wide awake, mind reeling with the possibilities of all the things that might go wrong before dawn. His nightmare strikes her chest with cold, sharp fear, the whole thing just another reminder of what could happen out there so many millions of miles away. 

She has to keep a brave face though, plastering on a reassuring smile she reaches out and draws him up into her lap. Her thumbs wipe at his cheeks as she begins to hum softly, waiting for him to settle in her arms.

Because the problem is, for a boy so young, John is so ridiculously smart. Where simple reassurance would have worked in a moment to calm any of his brothers, her little redhead would simply refute the comments with the logic he knew to be true. 

It was the same logic she knew she would have to use to reassure him.

Running her fingers through his hair, she tilted her head as she watches him, “So, let’s think of all the reasons that’s not gonna happen, huh?”

[rpsourcedmemes]

Go into the inbox right now and tell my muse exactly what you think of them! Anon or not!

[themrstracy]

Do they have friends who they consider family?

@thunderbirdscolonelcasey has to be the answer to that one... talk about sister from another mister!

[themrstracy]

Today, 6th July, is international kissing day. Who would you most like to give a smacker to?

Oops, just a tad late then.... 

But you should know that there really is only one answer to that question... it has to be Jeff.

[themrstracy]

“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” Gordon gave a dramatic cry from his room.

~~from @squid-boytracy

Lucy’s stood at the first cry of ‘Mommy’ and racing up the stairs by the third. She may have been a mother of 5, but that didn’t make her panic any less when she heard one of them cry out in such a way.

Not pausing for breath at the top of the stairs she goes straight to Gordon’s room, dreading what she might see.

[squid-boytracy]

He beamed at her as she makes it breathlessly to his room. He holds up the large, unfolded paper he had discovered. “A treasure map! I found a treasure map!”

The map was actually of Kansas with a few routs highlighted in marker.

His smile turned into questioning frown. “Mommy, are we pirates?”

[themrstracy]

Tiredness makes Lucy want to laugh hysterically, but it also brings exhausted tears to her eyes. Tiny Alan had kept her up half the night teething, and whilst Jeff was away and Grandma taking the other three to school she knew she just had to keep smiling for Gordon’s sake.

She takes a seat on the floor next to him, lifting him in to her lap so she can take a better look,

“Well,” She sighed, “Where do you think your Daddy’s been hiding that all this time?”

[squid-boytracy]

Gordon was silent as he realized answering that would probably get him in trouble. His father’s office was a ‘no little boys’ area. That just made it more exciting when he could get inside and look around.

Leaning forward in her lap, he worked to lay the map across the floor.

“Where’s the start place? I wanna go to this one!” He jabbed a little finger at an X marked over a blue area. He his knew there was something amazing there.

[themrstracy]

She kissed his hair as he reached out to the X over the lake where they had gone camping two summers ago. He’d be too young to remember paddling on the little pebble beach, not wanting to leave the water for anything.

“Well,” She started, smoothing out the creases as she looked for the house, “We’re all the way down here,” She pointed, “I think all the way over there would be a bit far to go without everyone else today,”

[squid-boytracy]

His nose scrunched as he examined the place she had indicated. It didn’t look that far. His hands could cover the line. Then the idea of everyone else getting to go with them sent a wave of excitement through him.

“Can we go when Scottie, Johnny, and Virgil get home? Can we? I wanna go!” He turned himself around in her lap, looking up at her with wide, hopeful eyes.

[themrstracy]

She didn’t have the heart to tell him they couldn’t go yet, Jeff had booked the cabin for the weekend after he got home. Four days of rest and relaxation, where Lucy thoroughly planned on not being the primary caregiver for the boys.

“What about Daddy?” She asked him, “I think he’ll want to come too!”

[themrstracy]

“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” Gordon gave a dramatic cry from his room.

~~from @squid-boytracy

Lucy’s stood at the first cry of ‘Mommy’ and racing up the stairs by the third. She may have been a mother of 5, but that didn’t make her panic any less when she heard one of them cry out in such a way.

Not pausing for breath at the top of the stairs she goes straight to Gordon’s room, dreading what she might see.

[squid-boytracy]

He beamed at her as she makes it breathlessly to his room. He holds up the large, unfolded paper he had discovered. “A treasure map! I found a treasure map!”

The map was actually of Kansas with a few routs highlighted in marker.

His smile turned into questioning frown. “Mommy, are we pirates?”

[themrstracy]

Tiredness makes Lucy want to laugh hysterically, but it also brings exhausted tears to her eyes. Tiny Alan had kept her up half the night teething, and whilst Jeff was away and Grandma taking the other three to school she knew she just had to keep smiling for Gordon’s sake.

She takes a seat on the floor next to him, lifting him in to her lap so she can take a better look,

“Well,” She sighed, “Where do you think your Daddy’s been hiding that all this time?”

[squid-boytracy]

Gordon was silent as he realized answering that would probably get him in trouble. His father’s office was a ‘no little boys’ area. That just made it more exciting when he could get inside and look around.

Leaning forward in her lap, he worked to lay the map across the floor.

“Where’s the start place? I wanna go to this one!” He jabbed a little finger at an X marked over a blue area. He his knew there was something amazing there.

[themrstracy]

She kissed his hair as he reached out to the X over the lake where they had gone camping two summers ago. He’d be too young to remember paddling on the little pebble beach, not wanting to leave the water for anything.

“Well,” She started, smoothing out the creases as she looked for the house, “We’re all the way down here,” She pointed, “I think all the way over there would be a bit far to go without everyone else today,”

[the-moon-dust-writings]

OC Questions - Family

What are their parents/guardians like?

Do they have any sibiling? If so, do they get along? If not, do they want any?

Do they live with any family members? If so, with who, if not, who do they live with?

Are there any pets in the household?

In the household they live in, what is their relationship everyone?

Are they holding back any secrets from their family? Is their family holding back any secrets from them?

Do they have extended family that they talk to? If so, who?

Do they have friends who they consider family?

Do they go to family gatherings? Do they like to go, why or why not?

Who would they consider their family?

[themrstracy]

“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” Gordon gave a dramatic cry from his room.

~~from @squid-boytracy

Lucy’s stood at the first cry of ‘Mommy’ and racing up the stairs by the third. She may have been a mother of 5, but that didn’t make her panic any less when she heard one of them cry out in such a way.

Not pausing for breath at the top of the stairs she goes straight to Gordon’s room, dreading what she might see.

[squid-boytracy]

He beamed at her as she makes it breathlessly to his room. He holds up the large, unfolded paper he had discovered. “A treasure map! I found a treasure map!”

The map was actually of Kansas with a few routs highlighted in marker.

His smile turned into questioning frown. “Mommy, are we pirates?”

[themrstracy]

Tiredness makes Lucy want to laugh hysterically, but it also brings exhausted tears to her eyes. Tiny Alan had kept her up half the night teething, and whilst Jeff was away and Grandma taking the other three to school she knew she just had to keep smiling for Gordon’s sake.

She takes a seat on the floor next to him, lifting him in to her lap so she can take a better look,

“Well,” She sighed, “Where do you think your Daddy’s been hiding that all this time?”